A/N – So sorry it took me so long to get back to this story! I struggled with this chapter that's why it took me so long and also why it's short. I'm hoping for more writing clarity this week, thanks for sticking with me. Hope you enjoy the update as always please R&R! Thanks to all those who have been such dedicated reviewers you rock my world!

Chapter 14 – Forgiveness

Buffy awoke sometime in the very early morning shortly after midnight. Untangling herself quietly from Faith's strong arms around her and leaving the warmth of her bed she carefully exited the bed and their bedroom. As she turned from shutting the door quietly she came face to face with her younger sister exiting the spare room in the same fashion.

Dawn turning now to see Buffy smiled slightly, "Hey…" she whispered

"Hey" Buffy replied as she pulled he robe tightly around her blocking out the draft that seemed to be menacing the house, "Couldn't sleep?" she asked as she approached the young girl.

"No…well yea I mean I was but…I just wanted…wanted to…" Dawn was looking down at the ground playing with the strings from her BU hoodie.

"Talk?" Buffy asked

"Yea, is that ok? I think we need to …"

"Let's go downstairs, I don't know about your man but my girl gets cranky when she is woken up by chatter" Buffy smiled reaching out her hand towards her sister.

"Totally agree…Tony is like a bear" Dawn chuckled softly as she took her sister's hand and they walked downstairs to the kitchen.

Buffy grabbed the tea pot filling it with water and placing it on the stove while Dawn sat down at the island bar. As the water heated Buffy sat facing Dawn, both sat in silence for a minute before Dawn piped up.

"Buffy…I'm really sorry about before I shouldn't have called you selfish...and I probably should have told you sooner about Christmas"

"Ya think" Buffy shot back with a sarcastic laugh but noticing Dawn's facial expression, she retracted the path she was taking, "Dawnie…thank you…for apologizing and yes you should have told me sooner….but I'm sorry that I…well that I stormed off like that…I know what that feels like to have someone walk away especially in the middle of a fight,…my reaction could have been better"

"Are you upset with me?"

"Well frankly yes but not just you at this whole damn situation, because no matter how hard I try it seems like a normal life is never gonna be attainable for me. I just wanted a simple holiday together with my sister and my family and Faith…but once again…"

"Buffy you have so much going for you" Dawn interrupted, "why is it that you are always focused on normal?" she asked causing Buffy to pause.

"Well…I…I mean I guess…" Buffy stuttered

"See…you don't need normal you can't even explain to me what it is"

"Be nice" Buffy pouted and Dawn let a chuckle escape her.

The whistle of the hot water boiling interrupted the conversation only slightly as Buffy rose to pour her and Dawn a steaming cup of tea as she thought of her sister's question. Turning back to the island holding the two cups of hot liquid she looked confused.

"It's like…well it's like there are so many things that I love about the un-normal side of my life, like my calling or my big gay relationship with Faith but there are things that I just want to be the same like holidays with you and the rest of the gang…I guess that's what I mean when I say normal"

"Ok but let's recap this Buff, " Dawn stated "You say you are happy with the 'un-normal" parts as you put it, and any of us can see that you are so what more do you want, I mean besides me being her for Christmas you have a great gig here. A beautiful home that will sell soon so you can build an even better one in a place where your career and calling will combine to make you the number one slayer in slayer nation. To top it all off there is Faith. A woman who loves you more than she loves herself and would do anything for you even if you didn't ask. Then of course there's me your sister who loves you more than you know and who can't stand when she thinks she may have disappointed you somehow…."

"Dawn you aren't a disappointment….please don't think that"

"Then why the melt down?"

"It's Christmas Dawn, it's a big deal"

"And I get that I do…but Buffy we see each other every other weekend usually when I stop by with laundry or whatever, it's not like I am saying goodbye for life, its one holiday and you will have the gang and Faith"

"Except that Willow is going to England and I am rethinking going to Ohio without her and you"

Dawn had obviously not heard the news about Willow and sank slightly in her chair playing with the tea bag's label that hung to the outside of her mug. "I'm sorry Buffy, I know that Christmas is a big deal for you and I am sorry that things have worked out this way, but…"

"You're still going, I know" Buffy sighed.

"Yea" Dawn sighed as well

The two sisters talked a more into the morning, both trying to understand one another's position. Dawn was unfazed by Buffy's slight depression and Buffy began to build a wall in order to block out the resentment. She decided somewhere in the middle of the conversation that this would not ruin her holiday, because just like Faith said if nothing else they did have each other.

Buffy and Dawn eventually moved into the living room to sit more comfortably on the couch. Shortly before sunrise Tony descended the stairs to find Dawn's head in her sister's lap as the two both slept peacefully. He smiled upon them both before heading back upstairs leaving the sister bonding moment to continue as the love of his life slept until their departure.

* * *

Faith managed to sleep in that day likely exhausted by the overhaul of emotions that both she and Buffy had been subjected too. When she finally stirred around noon she found her lover's pillow cold and empty causing a pout to form as she stretched the sleep out of her bones. Throwing on some sweats and tying her hair back she headed down to the kitchen to find it empty despite the smell of fresh coffee. Sighing slightly she headed to the cabinet to grab a mug only to find a note from B taped to the door.

Fai~

Took Willow out to lunch before she has to leave, sorry for the meltdown I promise I will make it up to you! I love you, ps coffee is fresh and Dawn and Tony send their love. Be back soon

B

Smiling Faith folded the note and placed it back on the counter before reaching for a mug. She poured her coffee and then headed into the office. She called the travel agent and cancelled their holiday reservations for a flight back to Cleveland, the nice thing was she was an old friend so they didn't incur any charges for cancellation. Faith then made some other phone calls pertaining to her surprise Christmas gift for Buffy and finally retreated back to the bedroom for a hot shower.

Buffy and Willow enjoyed lunch in downtown Boston before Buffy dropped Willow off at the airport; the earlier Willow could get there and be done the earlier she could get back. Buffy arrived home shortly before 2:30 to find Faith idly watching TV in the basement. As Buffy came down the stairs Faith got up off the couch to greet her.

"And how is my crazy emotion filled girlfriend today?" Faith teased as she embraced the older woman.

"Ha ha, fine thank you. Sorry I didn't wake you up thought you could use some interrupted sleep, ya know without the craziness"

"It's fine babe, hard to wake up with you not next to me but it's all good, because now you're here and we can start planning for the best Christmas ever"

"Oh no did you make a list?" Buffy laughed at her own wit.

"Talk like that will get you a phone call to Santa missy"

"Geez am I ever gonna win with you?" Buffy teased

"Aww baby you already have won my heart for sure" Faith joked pulling her girlfriend against her meeting her lips in a passionate kiss as her hands slid to the blonde's hips and she rocked her back against the stairway wall. Buffy immediately returned the kiss seeking to deepen their experience as she now used her hands to glide under Faith's sweatshirt removing it with a rather hasty enthusiasm.

Faith smiling against her lover's lips moved her hands now to the front of Buffy's dark denim jeans unsnapping them as they walked backwards never breaking contact moving to the couch. The women quickly discarded the layers of unnecessary fabric before ravishing one another's bodies deep into the evening. Finally succumbing to exahaustion after their escapades led to the kitchen where the rest of the strawberries and whipped cream were devoured in addition to each other the two lovers found solace in their bed.

Faith awoke during the early morning to only the moon light scattering around their bedroom. She turned to find Buffy clinging to her tightly a leg wrapped around Faith's lower half and an arm laid across her bare torso. Buffy's head was resting on Faith's chest and the warm air of her breath caused the brunette's skin to shiver in excitement. Shifting slightly Faith pulled the blonde closer to her, if it was even possible, and was surprised to hear Buffy's voice through the darkness.

"Hmmm…trying to smother me?" she smirked with her eyes closed as she whispered

"I could say the same about you Miss Boa Constrictor"

"Did you just compare me to a snake?"

"Yup"

"Such a sweet talker"

Faith laughed as she moved again to meet Buffy face to face before placing a gentle kiss on her lips.

"So, are we better now? No more holiday catastrophes?" Faith asked as she nuzzled into Buffy's neck kissing it lightly between her words.

"Hmmm….I think for sure. Besides I was a fool to think I needed anyone but you." Buffy's body was reacting more to Faith's touch then her recent realization. "All I want and need is you, for Christmas, for forever Faith"

As Buffy spoke Faith continued her gentle assault on the blonde's neck. "I love you B all I need is you too, and I am gonna make sure we have a great holiday for you and for me. You know I never dreamed that my first Christmas with a loved one would be with you but now I can't imagine it any other way."

In all the craziness that had insued in the last month Buffy could have kicked herself in that moment for not realizing that this truly was Faith's first holiday with love surrounding her. "Fai, I have been so selfish…" she started

"No B no" Faith whispered as she lifted her head meeting Buffy's gaze, "That's not why I said that…and you're not selfish…I'm so happy with you now forget about all the mistakes just…just be with me…no more regrets."

Buffy felt a tear building in her eye but shook it off as she pulled Faith into another kiss. "I love you, god I love you Faith" she said as she broke away again.

"Always and forever B, I love you". Snuggling closer to one another the two lovers found sleep once again

* * *

The next morning Faith was up early and Buffy awoke to Christmas carols blaring from the radio downstairs. Shaking her head with a smile she threw on a robe and heading down stairs to find Faith elbow deep in a bowl of cookie dough her face and hair splashed with flour. Buffy could have died from laughter as she took one look at the candy cane apron Faith adorned as she turned to meet Buffy's eyes with a smile and a wink.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Buffy asked

"Actually this was gonna be for you, I saw it in Target last week and couldn't help imagine what you would look like in it…of course I would have insisted you weren't wearing anything underneath but that's just me" she smiled playfully slapping Buffy on the ass as she strolled past her on the way to the pantry.

"Oh the possibilites…ok check on my hot girlfriend in an apron, but what are you doing down here this monring singing and baking"

"Well B we've got 5 days until Christmas Eve and a house in severe need of some holiday cheer and of course being the domestic goddess that no one is allowed to know about I figured I would start with cookies"

" I do love the way you think" Buffy said dipping her finger into the bowl of sugar cookie dough and placing into her mouth all seductive like just for Faith's pleasure…and her own damn her woman could bake she thought as she smiled

"So you need to go shower and get dressed into some warm clothes cause next on the agenda is a tree" Faith commanded kissing her lips before pushing her back towards the staircase. "I'm gonna take you out today into the woods where we are gonna chop our own tree just like the pioneers and then we gotta swing by the store to spend ungodly amounts of money on lights, ornaments and all those tacky things for the lawn"

Buffy smiled at the suddenly elf like Faith before retreating upstairs and doing exactly what she was told. Faith followed shortly to help finish Buffy's shower succesfully getting the flour out of her hair and of course sharing another wonderful moment with her partner in the warm atmosphere.

Faith drove Buffy north of the city to a tree lot where the two spent two hours picking out the perfect tree, sipping hot chocolate and of course induring a heated snowball fight. After they picked out a tree the purchased all that Faith had mentioned and more at the local Target before returning home. Faith put the tree up and both women strung lights and ornaments around the tree before wrapping up in blankets in front of the fireplace. Dinner was a combination of wine and Christmas cookies much to the delight of Buffy who probably could have lived off those two items if forced.

Faith and Buffy remained by the fire for the rest of the evening succumbing to sleep as the tree lights glowed around them. Thre days later it was Christmas Eve and both women were content and excited with the gifts they would be giving to one another. Overall the drama had faded and both women were again at ease by simply just being together.

TBC