A/N First I want to Thank Dana for all her help with this story, I could not have done it without your help! Proof reading can be a long process, so Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.. WARNING There is a love scene in this chapter, I tried to keep it tasteful without losing the emotions I was aiming for. So if you are sensitive do not read
Chapter 14
The two men just stood there, glaring at each other in Buffy's hospital room. "So let's try this again, Riley, why are you here?" Angel asked, lowering his hand first. He was happy he was a bit taller then the younger man; he liked having to look down at him.
Riley shook his head, trying to hide his shock at seeing Angel standing in the sunlight. "I was just driving through and thought I would stop in see how Buffy and the family were. I stopped by the house and Willow told me she was here." Riley shifted from foot to foot waiting for Angel to speak.
Instead, Angel sat down, his eyes hard. "And?" he asked as he raising his eyebrow. Riley, not wanting to be outdone, sat on the foot of Buffy's bed and continued.
"And there has been a lot of activity in the area so I thought I would kill two birds with one stone." he turned to look at Buffy; sadness clearly reflected in is eyes. "What happened to her?"
Before Angel could answer him, Willow rushed in. "Good, you two haven't killed each other." she moved Riley out of the way and turned to Angel. "We have to get her out of here, Gaven is on his way and he is none too happy about her having gotten in under his nose and destroyed his safe place."
Angel got to his feet. "Willow, they won't let her leave. Her condition is too bad." Angel sighed, walking to the door and peered down the hallway.
Riley stood by the bottom of the bed clearly confused, Willow smiled. "I can help. If I can get her awake, she can say she wants to go home." Willow touched three fingers to her head then placed her palm on Buffy's chest. Moments later, a very dazed Buffy looked up at them.
"Where am I?" Buffy groaned, her body pained her greatly. Willow leaned into her, "We don't have time for that hon, you are in the hospital and we have to get you out of here."
Angel called for the doctor, and after much debate, Buffy was soon being placed in the car, Riley offered to go pick up her pain medication from the in-house pharmacy.
Soon, they were ready to leave. Willow climbed in beside Buffy, and once in the car, Willow withdrew from her mind and Buffy was sent back into oblivion, falling against her friend, who held her securely.
Angel felt uneasiness wash over him, which caused him to glance over his shoulder, and his beating heart nearly stopped. There stood Gaven in the doorway of the hospital entrance. "I will have her!" he yelled, walking towards the car.
"Let's go!" Willow yelled from the back seat. Angel gunned the engine and was gone.
They heard a thump from above, "He is on the roof!" Riley yelled, reaching for his bag.
Willow began to chant. She called on the sisters of nature to help, and Angel watched her eyes turn to black voids, his skin crackled with energy in the air. Suddenly, Gaven began to howl above them. Then he was gone.
Willow slumped forward, blood running from her nose. "Shit." Riley grunted, looking in the mirror. His eyes went wide as he saw the vampire gaining on them. He was flying behind the car, his eyes a flaming glow. "Angel." he said, reaching for his gun. He leaned out of his window-- climbing out so his butt rested on the window frame. He began to fire at Gaven; Angel reached out and grabbed his leg, "I've got you!"
Gaven went high into the air as Angel turned onto the long driveway that leads to the mansion. Riley slipped back into the car. "What the hell was that?" he shouted.
Angel maneuvered the car up the winding road. "We should be okay, there are too many trees. We just have to worry about the door." Riley reached for his bag and pulled out a gun cartridge. "He's a vampire, right?" he asked, not looking up from what he was doing.
Angel nodded his head, and he threw a look to see what Riley was doing. "Bullets won't hurt him," he said, seeing the mansion up ahead.
Riley slammed the case into the gun. "How about bullets with holy water?" he smiled. They stopped in front of the door, where Giles was waiting with Spike. "Gaven is right behind us!" Angel yelled, afraid they would come out.
Oz pushed his way through, seeing Willow slumped over in the back seat. "I'll cover you." Riley said, getting out of the car. He went to Angel's side, his gun ready.
Oz ran out, pulling open the door. "Willow." He reached in and scooped her up, then darted inside the house. Angel reached in for Buffy; mindful of her injuries, he lifted her out.
Gaven attacked just as he pulled her from the back seat. Gaven's hands hooked around her arms pulling her up and out of Angel's arms into the air. "NO!" Angel felt rage roll within him; his eyes began to glow. Angel wrapped one arm around her legs and the other around her waist. Never taking his eyes from Gaven he yelled, "Riley!"
The blond took aim and fired, hitting his mark. Gaven howled in pain, and the bullet passed though his body, but he did not let go. Spike came out of nowhere, sailing through the air and smashing into the airborne vamp. Gaven released Buffy as both he and Spike fell to the ground. Gaven landed on Spike, his eyes flaming. The two attacked each other. Spike was the first to draw blood, but Gaven was quick to respond. Angel moved Buffy inside her shoulder was bleeding. Riley went to help Spike and was thrown aside like a rag doll. He hit the ground and did not move. Angel rushed back outside. He grabbed Gaven and tossed him aside. "Get inside now!" he yelled at Spike, who reached for Riley.
Angel turned in enough time to block a hit, "She will be mine, her mother will see to it," Gaven laughed.
Angel's eyes were glowing. "I will see you dead." he said, causing Gaven to laugh.
"You have no idea how much you have helped me. I would have never gotten this close if it were not for you being a wonderful distraction. You kept the Slayer just enough off her game for me to slip in, and who better than with a vampire that looks like her mother?" Gaven's hand held the dagger hidden under his coat sleeve, and he moved with speed and threw the knife at Angel, who caught the blade as it sliced into his hand.
This gave Gaven the time he needed to advance on Angel, his hands closed like steel bands around his shoulder. "Tell me, have you taken her yet?" Gaven laughed lifting them off the ground. "Tell me, Angel, how would Buffy feel if you were to revert to your old ways?" he floated higher. "Tell the Slayer that the next time we meet, it will be for keeps." Gaven's hands pulled away, dropping him. Angel fell to the ground, his hand bleeding from the dagger he had caught. He waited until he could no longer see the vampire to get to his feet. He turned, and that is when Darla stumbled out of the trees. She was badly beaten and bleeding.
"Angel." she whispered, before falling to the ground. He scooped her up and went into the house.
Just then, Xander and Anya drove up. "What's going on?" he asked Angel.
"Get them inside." Angel called out, and Xander pulled the baby out of its seat while Anya grabbed the bags.
They all rushed inside. "Buffy!" Xander gasped, rushing to her. "What happened to her?"
Giles touched his shoulder. "Xander, let's get the baby settled, and Buffy into bed, then we will fill you in." Xander gave a nod.
"Oz just brought Willow upstairs." Xander told no one in particular. He was still in shock at seeing his friend so weak. Giles picked up Buffy, since Angel's hands were already full. He walked her upstairs with Xander trailing behind.
"Xander take the suite off the second floor. It has a large bedroom and sitting room. With the baby, it will work well." Angel called out as he brought Darla upstairs.
Anya smiled. "Thanks." she cooed to the little girls in her arms, not phased by danger that hung in the air.
Giles put Buffy in the room next to his. Spike followed. "Her things are in the other room," Spike told the Watcher. "I'll grab her a night shirt" he called out, walking down the hall. Spike stopped into check on Dawn.
He grabbed an over sized t-shirt and went to meet Giles. The Watcher was in the process of removing Buffy's hospital gown, so her shoulder was exposed. Giles peeled away the bandage and cleaned then redressed the wound. "Thank the heavens she has rapid healing," he said to himself. The wound on her shoulder had already healed over.
"Let me see that cut." Giles said, taking Spike chin. He looked at the gash on his temple. Spike was still trying to control the demon within, and pulled his head away while he grunted. "It will heal." Was all he said, but he allowed Giles to tape it up. "I am going to go sit with Dawn." he kissed the Slayer gently and left the room.
Giles made sure she was resting comfortably, and left the room. He stopped in to see Oz, who was sitting in bed holding a sleeping Willow. He offered a smile, "I think we are okay." Oz whispered, not wanting the Watcher to worry. Giles was happy to see someone had moved Riley into one of the rooms. Giles checked him over and was glad nothing was broken.
He made his way downstairs and fixed himself a tea while he waited for Xander to come down. Twenty minutes later, he was filling him in on the events leading up to this moment. "She shouldn't have gone alone," Xander said, shaking his head once Giles was done.
"So have you named our girl yet?" Giles asked, looking for some good news. Xander smiled just then, as Anya came down, holding the little bundle. Xander took the baby and passed it to Giles, "Giles, please meet Naya Anne Harris." Giles smiled, accepting the child into his arms. Once she was comfortable, he asked, "Anne?" Xander smiled; the older man did not miss a thing.
"After Buffy," Anya said, smiling as she touched her daughter's cheek "Say hello to Grandpa." the new mom cooed. Giles liked the sound of that. "If you two want to get something to eat, I will hold her." Xander wrapped his arm around his wife, and left the older man alone. Giles stood up and went into the library. He sat down and cuddled the baby singing softly.
Angel stood in the doorway with a smile, but then he turned on his heel, leaving the Watcher to have his quiet moment. Buffy opened her eyes. Her throat was dry her body ached. She moved her head slightly. She was alone. She slid the covers off and sat up, and she saw Giles sleeping in the chair. She stood, and her leg pained her, but she needed to move. She shuffled out of the room. It was dark outside. She made it down the hall, stopping at the stairs. A muffled sob caught her attention, and she hobbled down the hall. The door to the guest room was slightly open, so she peeked inside and her heart broke. There was Angel holding Darla, rocking her slowly. "I didn't mean to do it, I had no control," she cried into his chest.
He stroked her hair. "Darla, it's over, you're safe."
She pulled away from him and Buffy saw her beaten face. "I am all alone. I've ruined it with Lindsey."
Angel shook his head. "You will never be alone, Darla." Buffy watched as Darla leaned in to kiss him.
She turned away from the door, her heart breaking. She went back down the hall and found the strength to walk down the stairs. When she'd made it to the kitchen, she tugged open the refrigerator and pulled out the juice. As she sat at the table, she heard a sigh come from the living room and went to see who was there.
She found Anya holding the baby, she smiled seeing Buffy, "How are you feeling?" she asked.
Buffy smiled, walking slowly over to where Anya sat on the sofa. "Can I hold her?" Buffy asked once she stopped.
Anya frowned. "I don't know… can you?" Anya asked, taking in the Slayer's beaten body.
Buffy smiled and sat down. "Yes, please." Anya stood up and passed the baby to Buffy.
Buffy held the baby with her good arm, and tears blurred her vision. "Naya, this is your aunt, Buffy."
The Slayer smiled wider. "What a beautiful name." The new mother sat beside Buffy.
"Naya Anne Harris." Anya gently told her, moving a stray piece of hair from her face. A tear slid down the Slayers cheek, and, Anya, sensing Buffy needed some time, stood up and asked, "Can you watch her for a bit? The little girls' room is calling."
Buffy nodded, gazing at her namesake. It was at that moment she realized; I will never have this with Angel. She let the tears fall, and they burned down her face. Anya stood in the kitchen watching, her heart breaking for her friend. After a moment, Anya made her way quietly upstairs and down the hall. She slowly opened Dawn's door and smiled. Spike was holding a sleeping Dawn. She touched his shoulder and his eyes opened. She motioned for him to follow. "Buffy needs you." she said, once in the hallway.
They made their way downstairs. "Okay peanut, time for bed." Anya took the baby from Buffy, but not before kissing her twice.
"What are you doing down here?" Spike asked.
Buffy crumbled, reaching for him. "Spike," she cried, her arms stretching out for him. He sat down, taking her into his arms and holding her.
"Hey," he said, pulling her close.
Buffy could not speak as the sobs ripped through her, so he simply held her. He offered his strength and support, with no words attached. Time passed and the sun rose. Giles came running down the stairs. "She's gone!" he panted.
He stopped, seeing Buffy and Spike on the sofa, and Spike turned his head and said, "She is fine Giles, give us a moment."
The Watcher closed his eyes and forced a smile. "Sure."
Spike turned his attention back to Buffy, "What's going on, Slayer?"
Buffy remained silent for a moment longer, and then finally said, "I was just letting old dreams die, Spike. It is time to face that Angel and I will never be more then what we are. My hidden dreams of a life, a family, will never happen. Holding Naya last night just made it all the more real. I stopped lying to myself, that's all. Slayers are not meant to have families."
Spike laughed shaking his head. "They are not also supposed to live as long as you, Buffy. You can have anything you want." he reached out and cupped her chin, forcing her eyes to meet his. "Give me the truth, Buffy."
Her eyes filled with such pain. "Spike, I just accepted that Angel and I are not meant to do anything but hurt each other." She stood up and called out to Giles. "Can you help me back upstairs?"
Giles rushed back into the room smiling, and said, "Only if I can carry you." She did not protest when he scooped her up.
"Please take me to Dawn's room." she said, resting her head on his shoulder. Once inside, Buffy climbed into bed with Dawn, pulling her close, and let sleep take her. Giles sat watching them both.
Spike got up after a moment or so and muttered, "Something doesn't fit." He went up the stairs, taking two at a time. He pushed open Angel's door. "Peaches--" he stopped dead in his tracks. There was Angel, sleeping sitting up in bed, with Darla curled around him. Realization hit Spike and he swore. Angel's eyes flashed open, and he saw Spike, who simply shook his head and left the room, closing the door.
Angel was confused for a moment, and he looked down and groaned seeing Darla in his lap. He eased her off and got up. He took a quick shower and went downstairs. No one was there, so he made coffee. He made himself a cup and one for Giles. Buffy's room was empty so he checked in on Dawn. He smiled, seeing the sisters nestled together in slumber.
He handed the mug to Giles, "Go I will take over." The Watcher smiled and got up as Spike came in. He sat down next to Angel and said nothing. "Spike, what you saw--" he started, just to have the blond vampire shake his head.
"I really do not want to hear it, Angel." The former vampire let it go. So there they sat, in silence, watching their keeps.
Finally, Spike said. "I can watch them if you have things to do."
Angel sensed Spike needed some time so he smiled and said, "Okay." He got up and kissed both Buffy and Dawn.
Spike shook his head thinking, He really has no idea what he's done.
"Call me if you need anything." Angel said as he left the room. He went downstairs and saw the others had begun to move around.
Xander was getting ready for work, and Angel watched him kiss his wife and baby. He could not wait until he could do that with Buffy. He did not miss the way Anya frowned at him.
Oz and Willow were up. "Great job last night, Willow." Angel said, touching her shoulder.
She offered a tired smile, "Glad I could help." Darla came down the stairs then, and Willow stopped speaking. "What is she doing here?" she asked, looking at Angel. "Does Buffy know she's here?"
Angel held up his hands. "Wow," he started just to have Willow cut him off.
"Don't 'wow' me, this monster helped kidnap Dawn, she is working with the other side Angel!" Willow's face went all red. "I guess the question should be, what side are you working on?"
Angel scowled. "That isn't fair, Willow. Darla is okay; she was able to break free of Gaven. Look at her, he did this to her."
Willow shook her head and said, "Becoming a human has made you an idiot." She turned and walked out of the mansion.
"Willow," Oz called out to her making her stop. "Where are you going?" he asked.
Willow looked at the man she loved. "I am going to Buffy's house to strengthen the protection spell; she has enough on her plate without having to deal with Darla."
Oz smiled, he loved it when she was feisty, and offered, "She may not want to go home."
Willow pulled open the car door. "No, she may not, but let's give her the option should she want it."
Angel was a little taken aback by Willow's outburst. Darla had fled the room in tears, and Anya stood there staring at him to the point Angel had to ask, "What Anya?"
The ex-demon smiled. "Willow is right, you know. I was not here for the grand love/hate courtship that is called your relationship, so I have a bit of a clear view from where I am standing. Since you have been back, your priorities have been all wrong. The woman you say you love is always left alone while you comfort and take care of others. Why is that?" Angel did not say anything; he was a bit taken aback by Anya's honesty.
"If you're trying to win the Slayer, you are doing it the wrong way. I was with Buffy last night and something has changed in her, and my instincts tell me you have something to do with it. There can only be room for one in your heart Angel. It's you she seeks comfort from, but you're never there. Do not be surprised if she goes looking elsewhere." Angel was shocked, and he sat down. He knew what he had to do, but was just unsure how to do it. It was just past lunchtime when Riley walked into the room. His face was bruised, but other than that, he was fine.
"Is Buffy awake?" Angel shook his head. "Okay, I am going to head out, but I'll be back before sunset." he told the ex-vampire. Angel watched him go.
Buffy slowly moved, her body screaming in protest. Her shoulder and leg felt tight. Dawn was smiling at her. "We have not done this since Mom…" Her voice trailed off. "Mom... Buffy, Mom is a vampire." Dawn cried, her face full of pain. Buffy hugged her sister close, rocking her gently, not caring about her own aches and pains.
"I know Dawn, but that isn't mom. I don't know what Gaven did, but he did something. We have to keep telling ourselves it's not mom." They fell into silence; Spike stood at the door his un-beating heart breaking with each sob that came from his beloved. Once Dawn was calm, Buffy wiped her face. "Help me get dressed, I'm hungry."
Dawn frowned, "You should stay in bed." Her laugh filled the room when her older sister glared at her.
Dawn opened the door and saw Spike standing there. "Morning, love." he breathed. Dawn went into his open arms, Spike cupped her face as his lips covered hers, kissing her gently. Buffy rolled off the bed and walked by them smiling. She walked down to Giles' room. He was asleep, and she pulled her bag and sorted through her clothes. She settled on a pair of shorts and a tank top; they would be easier on her bandages. She was not able to pull her hair back so she just ran a brush through it.
Buffy made her way downstairs, she smiled seeing Anya, but then Buffy saw Angel in the garden with Darla, and her heart tightened. "Come on Buffy, let's get you some food," Anya said.
Darla turned tear-filled eyes on Angel. "You want me to leave?"
He felt horrible. "Darla go to Lindsey, he's waiting."
Darla began to cry, "I have no one Angel. He doesn't love me anymore, he left me."
Angel shook his head. "No, he left because he loves you."
Darla shoved him away, "You said you would take care of me, Angel, that you would protect me. It's because of her!"
Angel stood there, and knew she had to go. "Darla, my life is with Buffy. I love her! Can you not understand that? Do you not want me to be happy?" he asked. She just cried harder.
Darla reached out for him "Don't make me go," she cried.
Angel returned her hug. "Darla, it's time for you to live life; you don't have forever anymore, so stop wasting time. Lindsey will not wait forever."
Angel looked to the heavens, and then at the window. His heart stopped. There stood Buffy, her eyes full of pain. "You have to go, Darla, tonight. I will call Lindsey and tell him you are on your way." Buffy turned away from the window.
Willow came in and saw Buffy. She went to hug her friend. "Glad to see you're awake." Willow's eyes met and held Angel's through the window.
"I want to go home, Willow," Buffy said into her friend's chest.
"Okay, let's go." Willow said holding her tighter.
Buffy pulled back. "Really?" she asked.
Willow smiled. "Yes, really; I just beefed up the protection spells on your place and Xander's so everyone can go home."
Buffy turned and began to hobble to the stairs. "I'll be right back." She all but ran up the stairs. "Dawn, we can go home." She opened the door and saw Spike and Dawn holding each other and talking.
"We can go home?" they asked in unison, and Buffy smiled. "I'm going, but you can stay here if you want to."
They shook their heads, "No we're coming too." Buffy woke Giles up and he too got ready.
Buffy was looking for her shoes when Angel came in with Darla trailing behind him. "Where are you going?" he asked, watching Spike and Oz load up the cars.
"Home. Willow says it's safe, and I miss my house and bed." Buffy tried to keep the hurt out of her face.
"Buffy," he said stepping closer, "Darla is leaving."
The Slayer stopped and put her hand on his chest, feeling each time his heart thumped. "That's good Angel, but don't do it for me."
He tried to read her face but it wasn't giving anything away. "Don't do this Buffy," he pleaded.
Buffy let her hand drop. "I'm not doing anything Angel, I'll see you later." She turned and walked out, and he watched her climb into the jeep. Spike jumped in behind the wheel and drove off.
"See?" Darla started, but the look on Angel's face made her change her mind.
Buffy sighed when she walked into her house. She went up to her room and stripped down and got into bed, once there, she slept and she dreamed of nothing.
Downstairs, Dawn looked at Spike. "What's going on?"
Spike shook his head. "Angel is a fool."
Willow walked into the room. "That he is."
Dawn held up her hand, "Somebody tell me why he's a fool?"
Spike sat down "Anya came to get me last night, because Buffy was upset." He went onto tell them what had happened. "Once she went back to bed, I went to see Angel, and found him sleeping with Darla curled up in his arms." Spike shook his head.
Willow was outraged. "He confuses me so much! He says he loves her, but then he does nothing for her. Darla breaks a nail and he calls in the forces!"
Oz spoke up, trying to be the voice of reason. "You're not being fair; you have no idea who Darla is now. There has to be some good. Lindsey seems like a nice guy and Angel would do nothing to hurt Buffy." They all stared at him.
"Well that's all he ever does. He's on his own." Spike got up and left the room.
Dawn sat there. "Willow, did he sleep with her?" she asked.
The witch shrugged her shoulders, "I have no idea."
Dawn stood up, "Did Buffy see them together?" Again, Willow didn't know. Dawn shook her head and said, "Let's see if we need to go shopping. I think we're low on everything." Dawn and Willow proceeded to make a list of what was needed.
Anya called saying she was coming over with Naya. They waited for her to get there, and then left, leaving Spike with Anya. Buffy woke to a wonderful smell and she rolled over. The sun was just setting and she felt great. She made her way to the bathroom and pulled her bandages off to see that the gapping holes had healed over. They were still tender and badly bruised, but she could move. She showered and dressed, then pulled on a pair of joggers and a t-shirt to make her way downstairs.
Oz was setting the table. "You look good," he said, coming to examine her wounds.
"Super Slayer-Powers." she laughed. "What smells wonderful?" she asked while she was opening the oven, just to see the lasagna bubbling. She walked into the main room and stopped. "Riley," she smiled and leaped into his arms. "It's wonderful to see you!" She laughed, holding him close; he hugged her tightly, returning her affection.
"You look better than the last time I saw you," he told Buffy, mentioning he had seen her in the hospital.
Giles was happy to see she had healed and that her body was rested. His face went pale when he saw her re-enter the room some time later with her patrol clothes. "You're not going out." he said.
She looked at him; "It is quiet, just a quick sweep."
Spike came in, "I'll come with you."
Buffy shook her head, "No, you won't."
Riley stood up with a smile. "I'll go."
Giles watched them go and went to listen in. Spike looked at Willow and she grabbed her coat while they slipped out with Oz.
They walked in silence until finally Riley broke it. "Angel is human? That's great," he said trying to sound happy.
Buffy laughed, "Nice try, Riley. What brings you back to Sunnydale?" she asked, linking her arm through his.
"I was passing through. I have some down time and thought I would stop in and say hello. I'm glad I did, you look great Buffy."
She smiled and responded with, "Thank you."
They walked a bit more until he asked, "So are you and Angel an item?"
She frowned. "I don't know what we are, Finn. I'm still trying to figure it out."
Riley stopped, facing her. He took both of her hands in his, "I came back here, Buffy, because you're always in my thoughts." He stopped and cupped her elbows in his hands. "I still love you, and I thought that maybe we could-"
Buffy held a finger to his lips. "Don't, Riley, please, don't ask me to give you something I can't give. I love you but not enough to make you happy, not in a way you deserve to be loved."
Riley looked away but not before Buffy saw his eyes clouded with pain. "Angel," he whispered but she shook her head.
"Has nothing to do with it, he didn't then and he doesn't now." Buffy said firmly.
He stepped away from her. "Angel does not deserve you," he said, shaking his head. Buffy felt bad but she had to be honest.
"I guess I should leave," Riley said staring at her face.
Buffy gave a small nod, "It was great seeing you." They finished their sweep and made it back to the house.
"We are home, so you can stop following us now." she called over her shoulder at the three in the bushes who groaned.
The all sat down for dinner. Spike and Riley did not speak and that was fine for them. After dinner, Riley said his goodbyes, and Buffy walked him to the car. He tossed his bag in and turned, pulling her into a hug. She rested her head on his chest. "You're a wonderful man, Riley Finn. Take care of yourself." Buffy lifted her head to look at him, and he cupped her chin. He leaned down and gently covered her lips with his. Buffy allowed the gentle caress; it was sweet.
After a moment, he lifted his head. "Stay alive, Buffy. If you need me you know how to get in touch with me." She offered him a smile, and he kissed her once more before turning, getting into his car and driving off. Buffy watched him until she could no longer see his taillights, and then turned back to the house.
She stopped, seeing Angel standing there with his face blank. "Hi," she said as her heart fluttered at the sight of him.
"I came by earlier and they said you had gone out with Riley." he said, walking up to stand in front of her. "Can we talk?" Angel asked, drinking in her beauty.
Buffy answered slowly. "Sure, come inside."
She started moving towards the door, but he grabbed her arm. "No, let's go back to my place." he said.
Buffy agreed, "I'll go and tell them." He watched her go.
"Dawn, I'm going to go talk with Angel. I'll be back later, will you be okay?"
Spike came forward. "Slayer, do you think that's wise?"
She smiled. "You stay with Dawn please, and yes, I have to tell him how I feel."
Willow and Oz were going to spend the night at Xander's, so they left with Buffy.
"Call me if you need anything," Willow said she walked by Angel, not even looking at him.
Buffy and Angel climbed into the car and he drove off. "Patrol was quiet," he said, not really asking a question. She gave a nod of her head. "And Riley has left?" he asked, trying to keep his voice light.
"Yes," was her response. They drove the rest of the way in silence until they got out and he opened the door to let her in.
"How are you feeling?" he asked as she removed her jacket. He took in her shoulder. "All healed up. It amazes me sometimes what a little sleep can do." he smiled. "Wine?" he asked, holding up the bottle.
"Sure, a small glass." she said, sitting down. She waited until he sat facing her for her to say, "It was a good by kiss between friends Angel, nothing more."
He shook his head, "I know that." He took drink and said, "Darla is gone."
She simply stared at him. "You didn't have to send her away, Angel. You obviously have feelings for her."
He didn't speak right away. "Darla has changed, Buffy, since she became human, but I did not bring you here to talk about Darla."
Buffy smiled sadly. "I saw you, Angel. She kissed you, and you kissed her back."
He understood why the others were so angry with him. "Now it all makes sense," he muttered taking another drink from his glass.
Buffy shook her head and said, "I didn't tell anyone what I saw."
He was confused and said, "If you saw her kiss me you would have seen me push her away as well."
Buffy put down her glass and stood up. "Angel, we do nothing but hurt each other. Maybe we should read the signs."
He stood up and took hold of her. "I love you, Buffy. I always have. We have a chance here, a real chance to have everything we have ever dreamed of."
She closed her eyes on her tears. "Don't, please don't," she whispered as his arms tightened around her.
"Buffy, we can do this."
She shook her head, "No, how much more do we have to hurt each other to see that?" Big fat tears slid down her cheeks, "It took a lot, but seeing you with Darla made me understand. I will always be second in your life; you are so used to it you don't even realize it. I can't get angry any more." She stepped away from him. "I have tried, Angel, to involve you, to open my life, but I will not be put on the back burner whenever Darla or anyone needs help."
He was suddenly very afraid. "What are you saying?" he asked.
Buffy turned to look at him. "I am letting you go, if you need someone to blame then blame me, I have finally accepted there is no 'us', Angel. I can't keep hoping and dreaming for something that will never be. I love you so much." She could no longer speak as emotion took hold. He watched her sit down on the sofa, but he was frozen to move.
"Buffy, don't to this," Angel said, reaching out to touch her.
Buffy bit down on her run away feelings. "I am not doing anything, Angel. I am just making a point. I have a life and a job. If you are in my life, Angel, it has to be for good, not part-time. I will not be pushed to the side." She wiped her face, taking a deep breath. He watched her pull her emotions tight. "I think you need to go back to LA and your life, and ask yourself, if I had not remembered would you still have come for me." Buffy leaned up and wrapped her arms around him. She softly kissed his lips, burning the taste and smell of him in her mind for those lonely nights to come.
"Take care Angel, I will always be here when you need me." She stepped away and walked to the door, he heard it open and close.
The sun had set. "Buffy!" His legs ran for the door. He saw her clear the hill, and he got in his car to make chase. His eyes were focused on her as she ran. He sighed when she ran up the stairs to her house and bolted inside.
He was about to pull away when his passenger door opened and Xander popped in. "Hey." he said. Angel just looked at him. "Are you going to drive, or what?" Xander asked. Angel pulled away from the curb. "So you and Buffy worked things out?" the young man asked.
Angel's grip on the wheel tightened. "No, Harris, she sent me packing. I don't get it. I love her and she loves me."
Xander shook his head, his infamous smile lighting his face. "If I may take a famous quote from Tina Turner's song 'What's Love Got To Do With It?'"
Angel looked at him, confused. "Coffee shop," Xander pointed. "And you're buying." he said, getting out of the car once Angel had parked.
Only once they were seated did he continue. "Go home, Angel. Make sure this is what you want. You have a life in LA, Buffy has a life here. Go get your head on straight, then come back and claim your woman, but only come back if you mean to stay. Buffy is not the same person you left all those years ago. She's a woman now."
Angel knew Xander was telling the truth. "I'm afraid, Xander. Everything I have ever wanted is within my reach, and with one wrong slip it can be gone. I'm a fool, I know what I did was wrong but in all honesty I did it to protect her, to shield her. If I dealt with Darla then she wouldn't have to." Xander smiled; he could understand that.
"I can't leave until we deal with Gaven," he said. "I will keep my distance until then." Xander did not say anything, they drank in silence. He dropped Xander off and went to the mansion. Xander went to Buffy's. Willow was at his place so he felt okay leaving Anya alone. Xander used his key; "Hello?" he called out, but there was no response. "Dawn?" he called out.
He went to the kitchen just as Buffy was going up the stairs. "Hi." she said.
He took in her blood shot eyes "What ya doing?" he asked, watching her place a mug, and various items for making coffee onto a tray.
"Researching Gaven." she said he followed her into the other room, surprised she was alone.
"I sent them all to bed," she said as she prepared her coffee. "Spike will be down in a bit once Dawn is asleep." They walked down into the basement, and he saw the journals and books open. "You can hit the 'net if you have the time." Buffy smiled, pointing to the laptop. Xander sat down and began to work.
"Buffy, I spoke to Angel." he said as he typed. She did not respond. "He wants to help with Gaven, and then he will be leaving," she still did not respond so he turned to look at her. She had her eyes closed. "Buffy?" he asked, coming to sit beside her. She opened her eyes and he found that they were shining with unshed tears.
"Good." she said, more to herself then to him.
He went back to the computer. There was a knock on the door upstairs. "I'll get it." Xander said.
"See who it is before you answer!" she called out.
Buffy heard voices, but she was so involved in the journal that she was reading when they came down. She looked up when they had finished coming downstairs.
"I thought I would come and help," Angel said, putting down the donuts he had brought. "They're still hot," he said.
Xander reached for the box, "Ooh, warm donuts," he drooled.
Buffy smiled and said, "Easy, Homer." Xander stuck his tongue out at her before biting into a warm jelly donut.
Angel sat down and read her notes. She just offered a smile and went back to work. He took her appearance in, and noted she was dressed for bed. She was wearing a pair of pajama bottoms two sizes too big and a baby doll t-shirt that made it easy for him to see that she was not wearing a bra. Her breasts were full and round, and they stood firmly against gravity.
They all worked in silence, and it was hitting 1:30am when Buffy kicked Xander out. She made her rounds upstairs, and Spike opened his eyes when she opened Dawn's door. "Stay here Spike, Angel is here to help." She saw him frown, "I'm okay, Spike, trust me." she said and he finally smiled. Giles was snoring away in his bed, exhausted. She pulled the covers over his body, and then took a moment to appreciate his manly chest full of hair. "We need to find you a woman," she said softly.
Back in the kitchen, she pulled out a bowl of watermelon, and went back downstairs. Angel had started the fire, its shadow dancing on the walls. "You don't have to stay," she said. But all she got was smile; he had gotten comfortable. His shoes were off, his shirt undone, showing the white undershirt. Buffy went back to work, and as he watched her reading he remembered when she hated research. She bit into a chunk of melon and he felt desire race through him when the juice slid down her chin. He saw her blink then smile, then frown at the book in front of her. She looked at him, putting the bowl on the table.
"I found it," she said, and he came to sit next to her. "Here, read this." Buffy said, pointing out the passage. He took the book from her. It was an old codex that made reference of his travels with Darla, Spike and Dru. The hunters that tracked them through the Watcher counsel made the later entries. "Buffy," he gasped, "You can't do this!" He said, shaking his head. Buffy just looked at him.
"This seems to be the only way." Buffy said her voice very matter of fact.
He put the book down and looked at her. "There has to be another way," he said, watching her lean back on to sofa.
"We will have Giles look at it in the morning." she said.
"Have you ever had a sword stabbed into you?" he asked. "It hurts like hell, let me tell you."
Memories of the past danced in Buffy's head. Close your eyes. She would never forget the look of pain and confusion in his eyes as she sent the sword through his chest. Him while he was reaching out to her as he was sucked into the vortex of hell.
Angel watched the play of emotions on her face and realization hit him. "Shit, Buffy, I didn't mean--" She stood up and he followed her, taking her shoulders, careful of her injury. "I'm sorry." he said.
She turned to look at him. "I will never forgive myself," she whispered, "I died that day too." She allowed him to draw her close to his warmth. She was suddenly very cold. "I killed you, and I damned you to hell." she said, trembling.
He wrapped his arms around her. "No, you did what you had to do. What happened was bigger than us, Buffy, you had no choice. You were dealing with a monster."
She lifted her head to look at him. "I didn't kill the monster, Angel, I hurt you." He was lost the moment he looked into her eyes.
"Buffy," he moaned before his lips covered hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close. She was not sure how she ended up on the carpet, she was only sure that his hands were everywhere, her body was alive, charged with his touch, and soon they were both naked. She gasped when his heated flesh touched hers, his mouth closed over her nipple; he lavished it with his tongue while his fingers caressed the other. She moaned softly, her fingers curling in his hair. What he did to one he did to the other. His hands traveled down to touch the heart of her. "I love you," he said, touching her heat. Buffy suddenly was very afraid, her body stiffened, and he lifted his head. "What is it?" he asked, concerned.
He looked into her face, but she turned her face from his view. "Hey," he said, coming up beside her. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked, afraid he had hurt her in some way.
She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she cried.
He didn't understand, "What?" he asked.
"I'm afraid," she said.
"Afraid of what, love?" he asked, cupping her cheek. When she did not answer he gave her soft shake.
"Of you, I'm afraid of you," she cried, the dam breaking. Sobs rushed out of her. Angel was confused, so he did the only thing he could think of. He stood up, and Buffy curled up on her side. She was crying so hard she was not aware of the lights going off. He left me, her mind cried. She jumped when she felt his arms close around her. He had shut off the lights and closed the door so the only light in the room was from the fire. He spooned her to him, his arm pillowing her head. He covered them with the blanket that lay on top of the sofa. Buffy cried herself to sleep; he whispered words of comfort into her ear until sleep claimed him as well.
He woke with a start to find the fire was still glowing gently, but he was alone on the floor. He lifted his head and saw her sitting on the sofa, staring at the fire, and wrapped in a blanket. "Buffy," he called out getting to his feet. His nakedness didn't bother him, and he sat next to her, not touching her.
"I'm sorry," she finally said.
"You said you were afraid, are you afraid of me?" he asked quietly.
Buffy spoke without looking at him, "Not of you, but of what happens whenever you and I make love." Buffy spoke softly.
Angel understood. "Buffy it wasn't your fault, you did nothing wrong." He wanted to hold her.
"Angel, the first time we made love, it was wonderful. You were wonderfully gentle and caring." Her voice was laced with tears. "I woke up, and you were gone. Then Angelus said things, horrible things." He knew what the demon had said while he was trapped inside, unable to do anything. "Then, I found out that because of what we did, you where gone. I let the monster out." she said, finally looking at him.
"Then, we try again. We make love and you turn back time and erase it. Take all my memories." Her voice cut out.
"Buffy," he said, touching her, but she shook her head.
"No, tell me, Angel, was I really that bad, did I disappoint you that much?" she cried.
His heart shattered, as he finally understood the damage that had been done to her. He finally realized that her whole sexual outlook was built on her experience with him. "No, love, you did not disappointment me. You were a wonderful lover, Buffy. I'm sorry; I just assumed that you understood you had nothing to do with my choices. I did it all to protect you" He reached out and lifted her into his lap. He didn't realize she was naked under the blanket, and when her mound settled against him, he swallowed his moan. He felt himself harden against her heat.
"Buffy, you were always all that was good in my life, and you still are. I am still leaving when this is over. I think we owe it to ourselves. Xander was right; we'll play this your way." Buffy stared at him, she couldn't speak. Her mind was focused on the velvet steel she was sitting on. Angel saw the desire in her eyes, and he cupped her hips, grinding her to him. "Do you feel what you do to me?" he asked. Buffy let the blanket slip from her body. She began to rock back and forth, sliding her wetness over his heat, and he moaned deep in his throat.
"Love me, Angel," she said, and that was all he needed to hear. He pulled her mouth to his, knowing that he was ready, and from what he felt he knew she was ready too. He hooked his hands under her arms and lifted her. His massive organ stood proudly for her eyes to see and as he slowly let her slide onto him, Buffy gasped. It had been a long time, and Riley was nowhere near Angel's size in length or width. Angel felt her stretch to accommodate him, and watched both pleasure and pain lace her face.
"Oh, God." he moaned when she had fully accepted him into her body; her heat nearly undid him.
His mouth found her breasts and he lavished them with love. Buffy began to move up and down; the sounds coming from her drove him crazy. His hands went to her hips as he guided her. She was lost in ecstasy, her pace quickening, and he sat back, watching her with amazement. "Angel," she gasped, and he felt her tighten around him as she rode him.
"Yes, baby, take it." he said, cupping her hips.
Suddenly, she clamped down on him to the point of it being almost painful. "Angel," she cried out, arching her back as her climax washed over her. He felt her contract around him; she slumped forward onto his body, panting. His hands slid over her slick body. He turned and slid out of her, much to her dismay. He slid off the sofa, and before she could react, his mouth found her heat, causing her whole body to jerk. "Angel, I have never--" she gasped, and a moan cut the rest of her statement off as his tongue glided over her wetness.
Buffy was lost in pleasure she had never new existed. He sent her over the edge three more times before sliding back into her. Her legs cradled his hips as they moved, and he filled her completely. The sensations were too much, and soon she was sailing again. Angel kept a tight rein on his control. He wanted to give as much as he could, his pace was steady, but it was getting harder, she was moving with him, matching him, thrust for thrust. Her hands know held her breasts as she teased her own nipples into hardened pebbles. "Buffy," he panted, quickening his pace. The sounds of their wet flesh slapping together filled the room. His hand cupped her shoulder, pulling her to him once, twice, and he was lost. The force of his explosion sent Buffy over the edge with him. He fell on top of her, completely exhausted.
He kissed her lips, smiling. Her face was glowing. "I love you," he breathed but she has already fallen asleep. He shifted so they were spooned together he was still deep inside of her. Hours later, Buffy woke with the sensation of him moving within her, and she opened her eyes to find him staring at her, his eyes glowing dimly. She smiled in the darkness, taking all he offered. They rest of night was spent loving each other without words. The sun was just beginning to kiss the sky when they both fell asleep, completely spent.
Buffy woke, feeling all warm and fuzzy, and she looked out the window to see that the sun was shining. She looked over her shoulder at Angel, and her heart filled. "How am I going to let you go?" she whispered. She slipped from under his arm and pulled her clothes on; she had just made it to the kitchen when Giles walked in. He stopped, staring at her.
"I take it you slept well?" he asked. Buffy suddenly felt she needed his guidance.
"Giles are you up for a walk?" she asked.
He smiled, "Just you and me?" he asked. He had missed their quiet times.
"Yeah, let me get dressed and we'll go." She quickly showered and pulled on a pair of shorts and top. She left a note and left with Giles. She waited until they reached the park to say anything.
"Business or personal, which do you want first?" she asked, handing him his coffee.
He looked at the colorful paper cup. "It's just coffee, right? No frappy this or that?" he asked, making her smile.
"No frappy nothing." she laughed.
"Business, then." he said, breaking his muffin in half and passing one piece to her. They had found a place in the park to sit.
"I found a way to kill Gaven. I found it in the Watcher's journals. The documenter was there when the spell was placed on him to keep him protected.," she said, and he took his glasses off.
"How could I have missed that?" he said.
Buffy frowned, "Giles, you're human. We all missed it. Finding it is all that matters."
He covered her hand with his. "Buffy, I am your watcher, it's my job," he started, but she cut him off.
"Don't, Giles. You are more than just a Watcher." he looked at her. She did not miss the question in his eyes, "Giles, you know that both Dawn and I could not do without you. You have always been there. You're my family Giles; I love you more than words can say." His eyes glazed over with tears, but he blinked them away.
"I know things have been hard with Angel, me, and Gaven. A lot of change in a short time, but never doubt that you are not needed." He squeezed her hand.
"Okay, what kills Gaven?" he asked putting his glasses back on his handsome face.
Buffy swallowed. "Me. I kill Gaven." She went on to explain, and by the time she was done, he was pale.
"No, it's too risky," he said.
She smiled. "It's the only way," she said, and Giles knew she was right.
"Spike isn't going to like this," he said, looking up at the sky.
She sighed, "I know but it's the only way." He just looked at her.
"Okay, next on the agenda." he said, not wanting to talk about Gaven any longer.
"Angel and I made love," she said all in one breath, and she told him about her discussion and how she thought it would be best if he left to get his head on straight to make sure he wanted this and her.
Giles listened. "That is all good, Buffy, but what do you need my help with? You seem to have it all in order."
She dropped her head. "I don't want him to go. I'm afraid he won't come back. Giles, I love him so much." she said, looking at the child playing ball with his father.
"Buffy, if it is meant to be, it will happen" Giles did not know what else to say so he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and gave her comfort the way only a father could.
Back at the house, Spike slipped from Dawn's room and made his way downstairs. It was too quiet. He opened the door to the basement and listened. When he heard nothing, he went downstairs and stopped cold when he saw Angel sleeping soundly on the sofa. Spike could tell he was naked under the thin blanket and he felt anger at the older man. He turned and went upstairs.
Dawn saw his face. "What's wrong?" She had read Buffy's note.
"Nothing." he said as he paced the room.
"Spike," Dawn said, touching his arm.
"He slept with her, he knows he is going to leave her and he did it anyway."
Dawn did not know what to say so she offered, "It was their choice," she said, knowing this would be hard for her sister.
Spike pulled her close. "I know it is, but it doesn't make it any easier."
Wanting to break the tension, she held up Buffy's note. "We have a meeting to prepare for." Dawn went upstairs to take a shower.
Spike waited until he heard the water running and retraced her steps until he was lying back in her bed. Dawn walked into her room wrapped in her robe. She stopped, seeing Spike sleeping, and smiled, letting the robe drop to the floor. She climbed into bed and nestled herself against him.
Buffy was a little surprised that no one was up yet. She put the box of muffins down and started the coffee; Giles went to make some calls. "Grab that journal, please," he called out. Buffy quietly made hers way downstairs she stopped at the base of the steps to look at Angel sleeping. He was beautiful, and the urge to go to him was strong. She picked up the journal and leaned down to kiss him.
His arm snaked out and grabbed her, pulling her on top of him. He rolled slightly, pinning her in between the cushions and his body. "I woke up and you were gone," he said kissing her neck.
"I had things to do," Buffy laughed as he began to kiss her neck. "Angel the others are on their way over."
He released her with a groan. "When did you become all work and no play?" He pulled on his pants, "I will head home and be back." He turned to look at her, and he saw the look of disappointment in her eyes at the quick dismissal. "I am leaving now because if I don't you'll be naked writhing beneath me before you could blink." he clarified. Buffy's face grew hot at the image that formed in her mind. He leaned down and kissed her.
Buffy followed him upstairs and saw him out before turning and making her way upstairs to wake Dawn. Buffy was still in a dream state when she twisted the knob and pushed the door open, "Da--" the rest was lost in seeing Dawn naked and nestled in Spike's arms. Spike opened his eyes. "Buffy," he called out, pulling the covers over Dawn's body.
"Sorry," Buffy muttered. "I should have knocked."
She closed the door, and Spike swore under his breath, and then nudged Dawn. "Wake up love, we've been seen."
Dawn gasped, "Giles!"
Spike laughed at the horror on her face, "No, worse." he said, pulling on his pants.
"Buffy," Dawn groaned and flopped back on the bed. They both got dressed and went downstairs. The others had arrived and were seated around the table. Buffy came into the room when the doorbell rang she went to get it.
"Sarg," Bill said, standing on the porch. "I brought these over since you'll need them. It's only a month and half way." He passed her the envelope, which held the ball tickets. "Buffy, what happened to your shoulder?" he asked, looking at the bruise and tender spot where the new skin had grown over.
Buffy had to think fast, "Rock climbing with Dawn." He looked at her and frowned. "Bill, you want a cup of coffee?" she asked.
He shook his head. "No, I have to go in; someone broke into St. Mike's and tore the place up."
She looked at him. "St. Mike's, why St. Mike's?" she asked.
"There were a lot of old text books that were taken, blood. I'm thinking devil worship."
Buffy felt uneasy. "I'll come with you," she said. She left him in the living room. "Giles, I have to go to work." she called out.
Spike caught her in the hallway, "Slayer," he started, but she shook him off.
"Sorry, I have to go. Bill is waiting downstairs, can it wait?" He gave an affirmative shake of his head. She pulled on her clothes and gun and was gone.
"We miss you, Sarg. The place it too quiet." Bill said, tossing her a glance, and was rewarded with a smile.
"I'll be back soon enough." she said. They approached the scene. "Block that street off," she began barking orders, seeing people standing in awe of what was going on. Buffy pulled on rubber gloves. The church was a mess. "Bag everything," Bill called out. Buffy noticed the burn marks on the sides of the books from the fire. There were piles of ash along the floor.
Vampires, she thought. She turned to look at her partner, "Bill, whom ever did this is long gone."
"Summers," a fellow detective called out, "You have got to see this!" he said, calling them into the back room. "There is a lot of blood back here. I can't find any animal carcasses or bodies," he said.
"Thanks, Tim." Buffy said, stopping. She looked at the back wall; there in plain sight was her cross and bow symbol as well as Angel's tattoo for all to see. There was also a body with a railroad spike rammed in its head. Last was a key, all of them drawn in blood.
"Buffy," Bill touched her hand. She jumped. "What is it?" he asked, and she shook her head.
"My friend has a tattoo like that drawing," Bill stuffed his hands in his pockets.
"Oh," was all he said.
She began to look around, the smell of blood heavy in the air. "I want a list of all that was taken, ASAP." she said, gazing around the room. She left the room and came back with a camera and began to take pictures of the drawings. She used a whole roll of film and then passed the camera to Tim "Get these developed at the crime lab and drop a copy of them at my place once they're done." He left and she turned when something caught her eye: a wall tapestry that was not hanging right. "Bill," she called out making the man stop.
"What is it?" he asked, following her gaze. Buffy pointed to the tapestry. He came to stand by her; she reached for the pull string and gave it a tug. "Looks like something is inside," he said.
The runner came down, and she swallowed her scream. Both Buffy and Bill were suddenly caught in the downpour of what was in the wrap. "Jesus!" Bill yelled, jumping back. He saw a body fall to the ground in a lifeless heap.
Buffy blinked, soaked. "Are you alright?" Bill asked wiping his face, his hands coming away red. "What the hell?" he gasped, as Buffy looked at her hands. They were red as well. She looked down at her clothes to find that they, too, were a deep, crimson red. She was covered in blood. She looked at the body.
All the strength left her as she saw whose body it was. "No, no, NO!" She fell to her knees. "Riley!" She felt for a pulse, but she knew it was too late. He was a pale white; they had bled him dry.
SPK – You seem to truly understand the hidden pull of emotions of this story thanks for the update
Julyhearts – I am not sure if you like this story or not …lol Trust me there is a purpose for Riley.
Rean – I like the way you think, thanks for the review
Arica P.O.R – I really love your name! A little "Cliffy" is a good thing.
Fivebyfive09 – Thanks for the beta offer but Dana is helping me out. Thanks for the great review
Pinkyblue-ice – You have posted a review for each and every chapter I have posted. Your honest insight is refreshing and makes me want to put more into my story. Your reviews do mean something to me. Thank you for all your support!