MH:…Well, I can look forwards to at least one thing! Crazy crashed and burned last chapter.
Yeah, he was KO'd pretty badly. This time, he won't be getting up anytime soon…Hopefully!
MH: Rest assured, there shall be more fighting, but only during the last few chapters or so!
Now that that's all said, let's start!
Thank you all that reviewed! Thanks mucho!
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Master hand had no time to react.
In a matter of milliseconds, his insane brother was upon him like a mob of kitties after the mother lode of catnip.
"Super Fist of the Crazy: UNSTOPPABLE!!!!!!!!!" Crazy screamed in an amplified voice. His body lit up with a golden aura, and while under the influence of the move, he bashed Master Hand over every single square inch of the room, swinging him about like a rag doll.
After a minute of merciless bashing, Master Hand was more unconscious than a vegetable person in a coma.
"BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!" Crazy laughed triumphantly. "I……………HAVE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!"
Without wasting any time, Crazy set himself up in the computer chair, and while the channel was showing commercials, he did his dark deed.
"He he he…Let's see…" Crazy said. He opened up a few windows, then opened a program called Character Reconfiguration.
He laughed insanely, then he opened up windows with three-dimensional pictures of Popo and Nana, in suspended cyberspace. He clicked on the stretch tool, and stretched their faces to the sides, as to make them super chubby looking, then he increased their mass body index…
The Ice Climbers expanded inside their clothes like balloons, and when he was done, they were a good couple hundred pounds heavier. Of course, their clothes stretched to accommodate their super fatness, but now they looked like they belonged in a parade at the end of a string or two!
"HA HA HAAAA!!!!!!!!" Crazy laughed. "I love it when I'm evil! Now, to do Ganondork!"
He saved the changes he made to Nana and Popo, then he opened up a window with Ganon inside.
Unfortunately for him, he was going to hate life, Ganon, I mean.
Crazy shrank Ganon's muscles and made him look thin and reedy, then he swapped his gender over to Female. Now Ganon looked like his Gerudo counterparts, only taller and more imposing.
"Now, for the final…touch!" Crazy said. He used the wii mote to put lipstick on Ganon's lips, then he renamed him Gannonette.
"Eww, that name sucks, now that I think about it, but hey! It suits him fine!" Crazy decided. He hit the save button, just in time for the show to start. He hit the play button, and watched his evil unfold before him like a picnic of deliciousness.
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The opening scene, unsurprisingly enough, was the cottage Red Riding Hood lived in two chapters ago.
Inside, there was a huge commotion going on. Suddenly, the front door slammed open, and the two super tubby ice climbers were thrown out. Two wire frames, a Male and a Female, stood in the doorway. Due to a hologram, they had faces and clothing, and their looks hinted at a Swedish heritage.
"Go, an' neva come back!" The male frame cried. "You are no longer wanted here, ya eat me 'ouse out, day and night! What do me 'an my 'ard working wife get? Nothing!"
"J-Just, go away!" The female frame sobbed.
Popo would have replied, but his super fatness face was stretched taut. Inside his mouth was a watermelon, incriminating evidence of his hunger.
Nana couldn't reply either, because her face was just too fat.
As a last ditch attempt to get the super fatness kids away, the daddy frame grabbed a hot dog and stuck it on an arrow, and shot it into the forest. The two tubbies chased after it, with their Snorlax sized stomachs doing all the thinking for them.
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Ness had to find somebody, quick.
He had the book under his arm, and he ran through the hallways pointlessly, in search of somebody, ANYBODY, that he could put his trust in.
He was hanging his head in his mad dash, and he didn't see Matt in front of him.
He bowled right into the fighter, and the two rolled down the hallway a tiny bit before coming to a rest.
"Dang, Ness!" Matt yelped. "You almost popped my mecha arm off, you tackled me so hard! You playing football or something?"
"…" Ness stayed silent, thinking about what he was going to say. Then he remembered that Matt was a genius!
He'll understand me, WHATEVER I'm saying. Ness thought.
"Hey, Matt? I went in this boarded up room, and looked around, and I found…" Ness said, then he pulled the book from under his arm. "…This."
Matt's eyebrows furrowed in thought, and he gently took the book from Ness, and opened it up.
"While I was reading it, some black thing oozed out of the room and possessed the chair I was sitting in." Ness explained while Matt nodded and leafed through the book. "I beat it, and it exploded and covered me in this nasty black ooze. I fainted, and when I came to, I was on the floor, but everything was the same as before, only I was on the floor!"
"…" Matt closed the book, and looked at Ness with a worried expression.
"…What?" Ness asked nervously. "Did I say something?"
"…You said this…thing was black?" Matt asked.
"Yeah!"
Matt flipped the book over in his hands, and looked at it in a pensive manner, before replying, "…While I was acting in Red Riding Hood, we were attacked by a strange black bear with crimson glowing eyes."
"…What!?!?" Ness shouted. "The chair had red eyes too!"
"Then there was that beast in the garden." Matt said. "It was called a 'Sharb', if I remember correctly."
"Think they're related? It sure seems like it…" Ness said.
"…This is really worrying me." Matt said. "I feel something's up. Some of the others have been feeling strange presences, then these things start appearing."
"But, back in the room I was in, it was like a dream…" Ness said. "I can't tell if it happened or not!"
"Ok, Ness, stick with me." Matt said. "I'm not scheduled to appear in the auditorium until the last play is up. I think we should inspect this book: I have a feeling we may find something."
Just then, there was a blood-curdling scream down the hall.
Without even saying anything, Matt activated his arm cannon, and bolted down the hall, with Ness on his heels.
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While following the scent of the hot dog, the fatties Hansel and Gretel came upon a house, from which came the scent of…
"Caaaaaaandy!?!?!?" Both Popo and Nana cried in deep blubbery voices. They ran towards the house, but since it was at the bottom of a hill, they lost their footing, and rolled downhill.
They slammed into the door harder than a stampede of elephants, but somehow the door didn't break.
The door opened, and a positively livid 'Gannonette' appeared. Her face softened at the sight of the tubbies. (Why? You know.)
"Oh Dear!" Ganon wailed. "You two look simply STARVING."
The tubbies nodded.
"Now, now. That won't do at all! Come in, and have a bite or so!"
They walked right in, without giving it a second thought, because stomachs are stupid, and you should never let it do your thinking for you. Therefore, they didn't suspect a thing.
After they stepped in, Ganon looked about evilly, then closed the door. He then boarded it all the way up, and attached a bunch of locks to it, making it impossible to escape.
He walked into the main room, which had a cozy fireplace burning, and a table full of food that the piggies were porking out on.
"Help yourselves!" Ganon said needlessly, while he went to fetch the biggest cauldron he had. Not suspecting a thing, the Ice Climbers continued eating while Ganon dragged into the room a gigantic iron cauldron. He put it on the fire and threw a couple more logs on, then he got some water and put it in.
In a feat of strength that would put Arnold Schwarzenegger to shame, Ganon hefted Popo right out of his chair, and threw him into the cauldron.
Comprehension dawned on Nana's piggy little eyes, and with a disgusting, blubbering yell, she bolted from the room at what she thought was super fast.
Unfortunately for her, her super fatness was making her go at a snail's pace. Ganon picked her up too, and threw her into the oven while cackling evilly, then he shut the door and cranked up the heat as high as it would go.
He sat down at the table, and started setting up the table cloth and dishes. He was going to have a FEAST tonight!
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Matt kicked the door down with a mighty jab, then he saw Luigi cowering in the left corner of the room, with a Sharb bearing down on him.
The Sharb in question had its claws drawn, and was about to pounce on Luigi, when Matt shot a net over it that tightened. The Sharb lay on the floor, twisted into a ball by the net. It growled while making another sound like little metal balls hitting each other in its throat.
"Something tells me it's mad!" Ness yelped.
The Sharb opened its mouth wide and screamed in a high pitched voice, like a Banshee, then it tore the nets to shreds in unbelievable speed. It lunged at Matt, but then it exploded in a gooey mess. Everybody shouted in extreme displeasure, but Luigi's scream of fright quickly turned to one of pain. He slumped to the floor, holding his chest which was spattered in the ooze. Green flames lingered around his right hand, a sign he had thrown the fireball vanquishing the Sharb.
Matt and Ness, for some reason, were unaffected by the ooze.
"Luigi, hang in there!" Matt said.
"…C-cold…" Luigi gasped. Matt and Ness watched in surprise as condensed water floated out of Luigi's mouth like fog. Luigi's eyes rolled back into his head, and he collapsed on the floor in a dead faint. Matt quickly picked him up, but to the touch, Luigi felt like ice.
"How many more of us are going to be attacked like this…?" Matt sighed.
Ness hung his head sadly. Luigi still had a pulse and everything, but he was ice cold. Other than that, everything about him was fine.
"It's so weird." Ness said. "What the flippin' fudge is going on?!?"
There was the sound of running footsteps, and Fox appeared in the doorway.
"…Huh!?!?" Fox said.
"What?" Ness asked.
"I could have SWORN I heard Luigi screaming a moment ago." Fox said.
"He was attacked." Matt said. "It's another one of those clawed Sharbs."
"…Where is it?" Fox asked.
"It exploded, and everything left of it vanished." Matt explained.
"I've never heard of anything like that before." Fox said.
"Welcome to the life of a smasher." Matt joked. "…Anyways, the goo got everywhere, and it made Luigi faint."
"What about you two."
"…Ness was just attacked a while ago, and earlier, remember that bear we fought, Fox? some of the goo got on my shoulder, just where my Mecha arm connects to my body."
"Now that you mention it…" Fox said. "Some of the goo from that bear got on my arm." Fox rolled up his sleeve, and showed his arm, which was really pale, like he had been inside a cave for a long time.
Matt set Luigi down, then looked at his own shoulder. His skin was papery white under his shirt.
"Ok, something really wrong is going on." Matt said.
"I thought we already decided that!" Ness shouted.
Ignoring Ness, Matt pulled out the black book. "Ness, before he was attacked, he found this."
"Looks like a diary to me. A man's diary." Fox decided as he looked over it.
"I thought as much."
"…I have a feeling it's not related to the attacks, but that it'll help shed some light." Ness said. "It has this weird set of lines in it, like a prophecy."
"Let's hear it, then." Matt said.
"Those stained by the blood of darkness are destined to fight against the darkest of darkness. Only their inner light stands between them and utter destruction. It is a curse, and yet, a blessing, for those to find, and to discover." Ness repeated.
"…So w-we're…cursed?"
Matt looked at Luigi, who's eyes fluttered feebly.
"I should hope not!" Matt said. Luigi smiled, but kept his eyes closed.
"W-what happened?" Luigi asked. "It's…like a dream."
"You were attacked." Ness stated, blunter than a butter knife.
"…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Luigi sprung from Matt's arms, and shot out of the room screaming louder than anybody knew he could.
"Well, he handled that well." Fox sighed.
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Ganon was sitting still, at the table, when the cauldron containing Popo toppled over. Ganon screamed like a girl, seeing as he WAS one now.
Boiling water flowed across the floor, and before it reached Ganon, he was already standing on the table. Popo popped out of the cauldron, looking like a lobster he was so red. He was, however, unaffected by the boiling water: it only made him warm.
Popo tackled Ganon, and just like that, Ganon was defeated. Popo got up and freed his super fatness sister from the oven, then they left the house, and Ganon'ette' behind.
In the house, Ganon gasped for breath, since every particle of air was squished out of him/her when Popo tackled him/her.
The fatties eventually lost weight, and were able to return home, where everybody, some grudgingly, lived happily ever after.
THE END
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"That sucked, major big time!!!" Crazy screamed. "AWFUL! MY EYES! BUUUUUUUURNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He reset everybody back to their normal body size, and other stuff, but forgot to fix Popo's and Nana's diabetic problems related to expanding their girth. He left Ganon as he/she was, since he had to be a witch in the next show too.
Crazy messed with Peach's hair, making it grow a hundred times faster than normal, but he left Enrique as he was.
"…HA HA HA!!!!!!!" Crazy screamed evilly. He also made Peach super thin. "I'm so going to love this!"
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One more normal fairy tale play, then we can get to the big play!
Enough of me making promises. I'm just going to DO this!
MH: Yesh, while you sit here, lording over it all, I'm getting beaten senseless by my own nutty brother, who's nuttier than squirrel poo!
Oh, yeah. I don't own the saying I just used, but it's so FREAKING funny! Anyways, another update today is a good possibility, so stay tuned in!
With that said, Adieu, and Review!
-Shining Riku-