Family Guy: The Spin-off seires
Episode 1: Puffed up Family Guy
Chapter 14: Cross-Country Battle Part I
A/N: Due to the content that you will see below, this chapter will be much longer than the previous chapters, so please read on! And please keep reviewing! This is just the beginning!
Disclaimer: I do not own Family Guy or Powerpuff Girls. PPG belongs to Craig McCracken, and Family Guy to Seth MacFarlane. They are both brilliant show creators and I hope both shows continue. They rock! Plus, if I had to choose between this and Powerpuff Girls Z, I'd choose this!
TV-PG-DLV
"No? What do you mean, no?"
"Professor, don't you hear yourself talk?" Blossom, like her sisters, were steaming pissed right now. They were just dumbfounded at how he could just talk to them like that as if no one cared about them. "You said it yourself! Townsville deliberately destroyed itself and put itself in ruins just so we could come back and clean it!"
"What the hell do you take us for? Some sort of slaves?!"
"Buttercup, watch your language-"
"I'll watch my damn language when they watch their damn manners!" When Buttercup was this angry, it was most wise to just let her be angry, because if you tried to get in the way, you'd pay for it.
"We're not their guiding light! We're their superheroins!"
"Ah ha!" Peter shouted into the distance suddenly. "I told you those smug little bastards were crack heads and alcoholics!" Peter started to laugh hysterically at his joke, thinking he had triumphed, but all he did was annoy everyone with his comment. As soon as he noticed no one else was laughing with him, he immediately stopped, hoping he didn't look like a total douchebag in front of everyone.
"Oh boy, this is awkward."
Peter turned his attention back to the three distressed girls and the Professor.
"But girls, you have to come back to Townsville. You can't just give up on everything you've come to know and love!"
"We can't, Professor. We've been fighting crime the entire summer, and look where it's ended us up?" At this point the girls were so weak from floating in the air for a long period of time they were forced to take to the ground, and they still had a hard time standing up. "We're tired, and dizzy, and we can't even go ten seconds with flying before we have to take to the ground. We're exhausted."
"I know, but, still, I can't let you give up on Townsville."
"Well it's obviously given up on us!"
"Yeah! Its citizens don't respect us anymore, so we don't respect them!"
Peter had walked over to the window by the front door to look out of it to see if anything was coming.
"And nothing you do or say will change our minds about staying with this nice family..."
But, like bricks on a fragile baby's head, their words hit them, as just moments later, the glass window by the front door shattered, and in popped an old friend of Peter's: Ernie, the Giant Chicken, Peter's arch enemy.
He practically slammed himself onto Peter and then slammed onto the floor, recklessly biting his arm. Peter tried to shake him off by punching his face and chest, and when that didn't work, he kicked him in the gut, hard, and forced him off of him, where he crashed into the dining table. Ernie stood up, growled, and once again threw himself onto Peter.
But Peter acted quickly and turned the tables by slapping Ernie and pinning him to the ground, where he then took his neck, and started slamming it onto the ground repeatedly. After like, ten hits, Ernie took a nearby vase and smashed it on Peter's head, stopping the ruckus, and forcing Peter off of him.
Then Ernie stood up and took Peter, and ran him into a wall, punching his back three times before Peter shot a back slap to Ernie's face, which caused him to fall to the ground, and let Peter punch him in the kisser four times before he ground his legs and slammed him into the ground three times before practically throwing him into the kitchen.
Peter rushed into the kitchen and grabbed the nearest barrel full of beer and carried it towards the fallen chicken. He held it up high for Ernie to see, but before he could drop it, Ernie kicked him in the crotch, forcing him to drop it on his own head. Then Ernie tackled Peter and slammed him onto the ground, repeatedly punching him in the face.
But before he got too far in punching, he noticed the family walk in to see the action, and his eyes set on the three girls.
"Hey who are those three?" He asked immediately, helping Peter up, pointing to the Powerpuff Girls. "Is you wife still on birth control?"
"Ha! No, she quit that after Stewie was born." Peter laughed, walkiing Ernie over to the three girls. He introduced them in order: Bubbles, Blossom, Buttercup. But, as usual, he got the names completely wrong. "This is Chubbles, Booze-ass, and Buttercup mint chocolate!" Peter giggled at his progress, not realizing he not only insulted the three girls, but he called them (in order) fat, alcoholics, and an editable chocolate sensation.
"So, what? Did she have an affair with that tall, skinny, unattractive guy?" The Chicken was referring to the Professor.
"Hey!!"
"Nah, that's just their father. He's a jackass!" Peter couldn't help himself. He was on a roll! But, he would soon be on the roll, as the Chicken tackled him and slammed him into the wall, and then threw him out the back door, and followed pursuit. Everyone else stayed back and stared in shock at the damage the two of them caused. Nobody was more surprised than the girls.
"Whoa, did you just see what they did!?" Blossom shouted in horror, thinking this stuff always happened. "Does this happen a lot?"
"No, but when it does happen, everyone usually runs for the hills." Brian replied, who had gotten so used to Peter running off fighting Ernie that it doesn't even matter to him anymore.
"But, where do they go?"
"All around Quahog, leaving a path of bloody hell in its place."
Meanwhile, Peter and the Chicken hadn't gotten far from the house. They landed over by the lawn of the house, and had stood up to continue their fight. Peter took the Chicken by his neck, and pounced him with his knee twice, before smashing his kisser, and then pushing him out in the streets. Some cars were coming down the street at about 70 mph, so they had to swirve out of the way to avoid hitting Ernie.
Unfortunately, they ended up crashing into some buildings and fences, and being blown up on impact. But it did not distract the two enemies for a moment, because instead of taking notice, Ernie simply stood up, brushed himself off, and started punching Peter in the gut, leading him to back away from him, which eventually led them off of the lawn, and down Spooner Street.
Many cars passed them and crashed into buildings so they wouldn't hit them. Ands as always, they paid no attention to this. Their little squabble started to change once they reached the end of SPooner Street, and entered the city of Townsville.
Ernie decided to tackle Peter and take him into a nearby house, which happened to be the house of the Powerpuff Girls' neighbors, the Smiths. They crashed into the window, and started smashing furniture into each other, hoping to knock each other out. But they were unsuccessful each time. So, Peter punched Ernie in the gut twice, then kneed him in his face, knocking him out, leaving Peter to tackle him out of the kitchen and out to Townsville again.
This time, they continued hitting each other with punches and kicks until they ended up at a big mansion with an 'M' on it. It was big, and white, and it had a big, black gate which opened and led to two open roads to which you drive your car up to. It was the mansion of Princess Morbucks.
Peter & Ernie both took the left road, and this time, Ernie was on the attacking side, grabbing Peter's shirt, and punching him in his gut, and face, He did this all the way up the road.
And before they entered the mansion, Peter managed to grab a piece of nearby wood, and smash it on Ernie's head, letting his guard down and allowing Peter to tackle him to the ground, and let him get in a few punches before Ernie stood up, and shoved Peter into the mansion door.
Before they went any further, they stopped for a moment and took a good look around to see how big the mansion was.
"Whoa, look at this place!" Peter echoed to Ernie. "It's so big!"
"I know! There must be like, 40 people living in here!"
"Nah, I heard this is the only mansion in this damn town, and there's only like, 2 people in here. Some rich bastard and his daughter. But damn, this place is empty!"
"Well not necessarily! Listen..." Both Ernie and Peter took to listening, as a eery, and loud sound took to the air. It was the sound of a chainsaw going. Peter and Ernie took to the house and followed the sound as it led them all over the house. They finally stopped when they came across a room where the chainsaw was the loudest.
So they opened the door to reveal what was making that sound. It was Princess Morbuck, working a chainsaw on three dummies that looked like the Powerpuff Girls. She was laughing maniacally while she was doing this, and it was pretty disturbing.
"Hey, who the hell is that?"
"I have no idea. But I know women act like this after losing their virginity."
The two looked at each other for a moment, still confused about waht Princess Morbuck was doing. But it quickly faded from their minds, and continued their little bout. Peter body slammed Ernie to the ground, punched him in his kisser four times, and then picked him up, and threw him into a nearby wall. Then he grabbed a glass vase that was sitting nearby, and smashed it over Ernie's head, and then took his head, and smashed it into the wall several times before Ernie grabbeda picture frame and smashed it over Peter's head.
This left Ernie to stand up, and give Peter a few hits in his gut and face, and then shove him into the wall as well. Peter clawed his way out of ERnie's grip, and they started making their way out of the hallway, leaving a path of destruction behind them.
Their little squabble led them outside once again, and this time, they rolled down the lawn, after Peter tackled Ernie. They stopped once they made it down the lawn, and then continued down the sidewalk into town.
They continued throwing blow after blow after blow on each other until they had driven themselves out of the neighborhood and into the city now. As before, cars were swirving out of control so they wouldn't hit the two, and ended up crashing into buildings.
They kept going until they came across the newest addition to the city: The helicopter parking lot. It was this gigantic area where this big helicopter sat, just waiting to be flown. There were some guys in uniform standing over by it, ready to fly it for the first time.
Unfortunately, they would never get that chance, because moments later, Peter and Ernie came up the corner and entered the parking lot, still throwing blows at each other, and now scaring the others gathered around it.
Both Peter and the Chicken entered the helicopter without realizing it, and then actually got it to start, after Ernie managed to shove Peter into the control panel. This actually got the helicopter to start flying up into the air, 3,000 feet.
But the two of them did not notice considering they were still beating the hell out of each other. Not even when Peter dove into Ernie and kicked his gut and forced him to take retreat to the top of it did they noticed they were moving. All they did was continue throwing blows at each other and shoving each other into the helicopter, which started moving all over the place. Luckily, when Peter was shoved into the control panel, it also activated the auto-pilot, so they didn't need to worry about that.
All they needed to worry about was their combined weight shifting the helicopter all over the place, which it did. But not until it hit its peak height of 6,000 feet. Then it started moving all over the place as it headed into town.
It soon made its way into town, where it crashed into many buildings, and scared away thousands of people, hundreds being killed. The helicopter touched the ground, and burst into flames. Everyone thought that Peter and the CHicken were dead, but they weren't.
They had climbed out of the helicopter and ran out in time.
Meanwhile, back at Peter's house, everyone had gone back to their normal routines. They had all gotten used to Peter running off like that, fighting the Giant Chicken, and they explained to the girls that it was normal in Quahog for this stuff to happen. So the Girls decided to take to the couch and watch some TV. Of course, since Peter had crashed into it earlier, it was all staticy, so the picture quality wasn't that good. But the girls didn't really care.
They were just happy not to have to worry about Peter fighting his arch enemy...
...or so they thought.
"Good evening, Quahog. I'm Tom Tucker."
"And I'm Diane Simmons." They had just turned on the TV to the Channel 5 Quahog Action News, and it wasn't looking so good. "Breaking newss hits the studio! We have gotten reports of a disfigured fat guy traveling along the streets of Quahog going into the next town of Townsville,apparently fighting some guy in a chicken suit who goes only by the name of 'Ernie'. Quite a situation we have here, Tom."
"'Quite a situation we have here, Tom' indeed, Diane. In the past 11 minutes, these two fat bastards have destroyed half of Quahog's suburban buildings, terrorized the citizens, killed at least 500 of them, left an entire mansion in shambles..."
"Princess!" All three girls shouted, immeidately recognizing the mansion in the picture they showed.
"...and crashed a helicopter right at the edge of town. Luckily, no one was killed there. Witnesses say they now saw the two heading towards Pokey Oaks Kindergarten, a kindergarten school located in the ourbrinks of Townsville. The school is said to be filled with deaf and/or blind children, as part of an after school program started by Pokey Oaks's own, Ms. Sarah Keane."
"Ms. Keane!" Out of all the citizens of Townsville left, other than the Professor, Ms. Keane, their kindergarten teacher was the only one they trusted, because she was so nice to them, no matter what they did and no matter what they had gone through.
All three girls, even though still in much pain, took to the air, and made their way out so they could save the kids, their teacher, and the school before it was too late.
But the girls found it hard to fly from all the pain and aches in their bodies. So they were forced to take to the ground. Instead, they opted to ride with the family as they chase after Lois's idiotice husband...
...who was now only a few blocks away from the school, and still fighting Ernie, as they made their way onto the sidewalk where the school was. They had left behind a rigerous path of destruction behind them, and still had the energy to dish blow after blow on each other.
And after five more long minutes of the same old thing, Ernie seized the oppurtunity to tackle Peter and shove him to the ground, and get him in a headlock, while still punching his gut. Five hits, and Ernie had thrown Peter down 3 feet down the sidewalk, and pinned him to the ground.
Ernie gave him one hard knee right into his crotch, picked him up, and punched him once hard enough to knock him into the grass that was now surrounding Pokey Oaks.
They had arrived at the front door of the school, still landing blows on each other like there was no freakin' tomorrow. Peter grabbed Ernie's head and smashed it into the door, giving him a major concussion. Peter then took thois oppurtunity to shove him into the door and break it, and toss him inside onto one of the tables.
As a result, all of the blind and deaf children freaked out and started running all over the place, freaking out and not knowing what to do at all. Ms. Keane also freaked out, not because of the children only, but because of her child as well. At this point, she was 7 1/2 months pregnant, with a baby girl on the way, and she couldn't risk any of the action Peter & Ernie were giving, as they could possibly kill the baby.
Ernie was shoved into a table, which broke in half, and punched in the gut several times before taken by the neck and smashed into the wall. All the kids immediately ran for the door so they could get the hell out of there, except for the blind kids, who couldn't see. So they just kept running in circles.
Meanwhile, back on the outside, the Griffins had just driven up to Princess Morbucks's mansion to see if they couldn't stop Peter before it was too late. When the girls got out of the car, all they saw was half of the mansion cracked and blown up, and no sign of Peter or the Chicken.
But they did see Princess come out of her house, scared like a weiner. She made her way down her lawn and through her gate, cowering like a baby. The girls instantly flew up to her to see what the matter was.
"Princess, what's wrong? Why are you cowering like a baby?" Bubbles asked her immediately, not even seeing that Princess was horrified.
"What's wrong? My house just got destroyed by some fat guy and a guy in a chicken suit!" She shouted to them in distress. "Those guys are out of control! I heard they've gone through half of the town and destroyed it!"
"What did they look like? What were they wearing?"
"Well, the chicken I know wasn't wearing anything except some stupid fur coat, and the fat guy...um, let's see...a white shirt...green pants, brown shoes, and he was wearing glasses."
"Do you have any idea where they could be heading now?"
"I heard some people around the neighborhood saying they saw those two bumbling imbeciles heading for Pokey Oaks, and there's a class going on there right now for the deaf and blind."
"A class for the deaf and blind? Why would Ms. Keane start a class for the deaf and blind at night?"
"She said she wanted to raise money for some dumb organization that teaches blind and deaf children even with their disabilities. But I think it's stupid!"
"Yeah, you have a point, Princess. Thanks anyway." The girls immediately returned to the car, and took off, speeding towards Pokey Oaks Kindergaten.
Although everyone thought that this was a very reckless thing to do, they did not show their grudge in public because they were used to this, and they didn't want people to get the wrong idea.
"Of all the things Peter has done, this is the most reckless!" Lois started stirring to herself. "I mean, we take in three stray girls who are sick and exhausted, and then he goes off fighting a guy in a chicken suit."
"You know, dad has done this three times in the past, mom." Meg said to Lois, taking her away from her self-conscious. "Everytime, when we're doing something important, he goes off and destroys half of Quahog."
"Yeah but this time, we have guests in our house, and this time Peter's gone off fighting the Chicken in Townsville."
"If he can destroy half of Quahog with just a fell swoop with that chicken, who knows what they could do to Townsville?" Brian pointed out, with some edge in his voice. "This is even worse than when Peter tried to drive and read at the same time."
(Cue Cutaway)
Peter was in his car, reading a magazine on porn. But, at the same time, the car was moving on the road. Peter was trying to drive with his feet while reading a porn magazine.
But it was all in vain, because Peter's leg soon because sore and he had to drop it and ease it. But the wheel turned viciously out of control, and spun the car at a rapid pace.
And soon enough, Peter crashed into his own garage, and had lept out to try and avoid it, but he crashed into a pile of nails.
(End Cutaway)
The Griffins had arrived over at the school, to see that it had already been hit by the Chicken & Peter. Ms. Keane was outside, practically pleading for help for her students and herself. It wasn't safe to go back into the school because of all the damage the two have done.
The girls flew up to Ms. Keane to ask her what the matter was.
"Ms. Keane, what happened here?" Blossom asked almost immediately.
"Girls! Oh thank god it's you!" Ms. Keane was relieved to see them. "Thank god you're alright! Oh it's horrible! A fat guy fighting some man in an ugly chicken suit came here and smashed out door, terrorized the kids, broke all the windows and the fire alarm, and ripped out some of the nails in the walls."
"Are they still here?"
"No, they're long gone. I saw them head into the city towards city hall."
"Aw man, this bites!" Buttercup exclaimed. "We have to go into that damn city!"
"Buttercup, we have to. We have to protect this city from the clutches of evil! Besides, if we don't get Peter back, we'll never hear the end of it from Lois."
"Oh yeah, good point."
So the girls headed back to the car, and they all drove off into the city of Townsville, which had already been hit from the wrath of the two idiots.
Most of the city's citizens were already freakin' out from the terror they had just gone through, and they had no idea what the hell to do next. Peter & The Chicken were nowhere in sight, but they were there. ANyone could see from the damage done.
The Griffins and the girls had arrived only moments later to see all the destruction and damage done to Townsville.
Everyone was running amuck around, trying to get out of there in case the two came back to finish what they started. They were still somewhere in Townsville, but no one knew where.
Everyone got out of the car except Stewie, who was strapped tightly into his baby seat so he wouldn't get hurt.
They started searching the town frantically for Peter & Ernie, and try to stop them from fighting each other and destroying the town before it practically broke in two.
Boy, was this family getting itself in too deep...and as soon as they would realize it, it would be too late.
End of Chapter 13!
Coming up, the dire search for Peter & Ernie begins, and the girls' conditions begin to worsen. Plus, see what Townsville really thinks of the Powerpuff Girls, and how the Griffins will respond to it.