Chapter Five: They're Here...Sort Of

As soon as Death left, the house began to shake a bit. "What's going on?" Scrooge asked, who was standing directly in the middle of the room. "I don't know, but it can't be good." The Horseman replied. Suddenly the television turned on. White space. Rat, who was staring in the direction of the TV, stared at the glowing box. "That voice," Rat said, walking towards the TV. "It's so beautiful, almost like singing angels." Jose watched as the Rat slowly made his way towards the television and lost all connection with reality. The Rat placed his paw on the television screen, the glass was cold, and Rat shuttered at the touch of it, but yet, he didn't care. He put the other hand on the exact opposite side of the screen and got on his knees. "They're heeeeerrrreee!" Jose's eyes got really big, "No, Senor Rat, I've seen this movie!" He said grabbing the poor creature by the waist trying to pull him away from the TV. "I'm sorry old boy," Rat said, "but I can't-look-away." Jose sighed, and looked at the wall. He smiled and reached for the cord that plugged the TV into the wall. The screen turned black, the white space was gone. Rat hung his head and breathed heavily, "Thanks old chap," he said removing his hands from the TV glass and backing up, "I lost it a bit there." Jose smiled, "Você é bem-vindo."

Just then Ichabod emerged from the hallway, he looked rather scared as if he saw a ghost, besides the Horseman that is. "What up with you lad?" Scrooge asked. "B-b-b-big, s-s-s-scary, d-d-demon." He said hair white and sticking up. "Demon?" The Horseman asked. Ichabod nodded, "D-d-demon." He said, shaking, looking like he was about to curl up into a ball and cry. "Where is this demon?" The Horseman asked. Ichabod pointed slowly down the hallway. "T-t-the closet." He said. The Horseman nodded as he carefully led Basks down the hallway.

The hallway was cold, unforgiving like the Arctic. The closet has a blue glowing mist coming out of it, it was very eerie, but the Horseman was necessary phased by anything, he's a ghost, he can do that. Opening the closet door revealed that yes, there was a demon, but he was small, like really small, smaller than a pencil. He was blue though, and rather scary looking, behind him was the inside of Diana Barrett's fridge. The Horseman laughed, "If only Bill Murray were here!" He said, he picked the little pathetic thing up and crushed him in-between his fingers. Just then out of nowhere, a gigantic demon, possibly the little one's brother appeared. He was big, massive, basically a dragon, and he was pissed. "Oh, I'm sorry was he yours?" The Horseman said with a 'not caring about you anymore because fucked with the wrong bull' type stare. The demon's nostrils were flaring, and he leaned his head out of the closet and opened his mouth. His breath was dreaded awful, smelled like rotting corpse, fish, and sour lemons. The Horseman waved his hand trying to fan out the smell, "Haven't you heard of breath mints man good lord!" He said. The demon closed his mouth and looked at him, "I don't really have a dental plan." The demon said, with a hung head. "No shit," The Horseman said, "I don't have life insurance," the Horseman laughed, making the demon laugh and smile. "So," the Horseman said, "do you mind leaving and all that business?" The demon nodded, "Sure, I don't even know why I showed up, this place is a dump." The demon said sticking his head out and looking up and down the hallway. "Wanna catch up some time?" The demon asked. "We'll play bridge," The Horseman said, "Thursday at seven?" He asked. "Sure, I'll bring the dip." The demon said laughing turning away. The Horseman laughed, "See you then." He said and closed the door.

The Horseman went back into the living room and realized that the chairs were stacked in a pyramid shape, and Terry was performing a séance. The Horseman turned to Scrooge, but he realized that he was writing on the wall in blood, Donald was on the floor, bleeding out, rocking back in forth grunting and carrying on like a crazy person. Cyril and Jose were nowhere to be seen but the front window was broken, so the Horseman could've guessed where they went. The only one would wasn't behaving like a crazed loon was Rat, who was crouching in fear underneath the table. "Sergeant!" He said, "Help, they're all possessed!" He said, "We need to get out of here!" He said, scrambling out from underneath the table. He looked up at the ceiling which had a blue spiraling vortex in the middle of it, "It all started when that thing appeared." Rat said. The Horseman nodded. "Seems we need help." He said, "Do you know of any supernatural specialists?" He asked, Rat shook his head, "No," he sighed, "Mr. Spielberg wouldn't like this, not at all." Screaming. Gunshots.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

"Vamos cobardes, terminemos con esto!" It was the rooster, shooting and blazing like no tomorrow. In the garage, the teenagers revealed themselves to be trained killers, trained for one purpose, to eliminate all threats towards 'the family'. They all had their weapons, paintball guns, ready and loaded, Panchito smiled, "Like I said, vamos cobardes!" He said. One by one, they surrounded the rooster, each pulling out a different weapon this time, TT-30's, a Russian pistol. Panchito looked each of them in the eye, "Let's go!" He said, pulling out both revolvers and doing his spinning. There were four of them now, one of the entered moments ago and already had his pistol out. The one who entered late, his name was Pedro, standing behind Panchito was Marcus, on Panchito's right was Keith, his left, Rocky. Rocky aimed his pistol first and fired, Panchito ducked and performed a sweep, knocking Rocky to the floor. The rooster, still crouching, aimed both pistols at him and shot simultaneously, making two shots sound like one. There was a loud echo, a ringing sound, that made Pedro cover his ears and drop his weapon to the ground. Nonetheless, Pedro pressed on and walked towards the rooster, who was now standing. "I'm impressed," Pedro said, "but not that impressed." He said as he swung his left arm towards the rooster who simply caught his hand. "Really, that's your first move?" He said with a smile. Marcus slowly came up behind him, but he didn't do it very stealth like, for he made a lot of noise with his gun. Panchito grabbed a hold of Pedro's arm and flipped him over like a rag doll right on top of Marcus. The rooster turned towards them and smiled, "Ha, now you see how a real man takes care of business yes!" He said with a confident laugh. Keith meanwhile, did the one thing Marcus couldn't do, be stealthy. He very slowly grabbed a hold of Panchito's lasso, but just as he grabbed a hold of the rope, the rooster looked down. "Do you want to keep that hand?" He asked. Keith nodded, "Yes Mr. Pistoles, I do very much." He said, removing his hand from the rope and standing up, "For what reason?" Panchito asked. "Pardon?" Keith said. "For what reason do you want to keep your hand?" Panchito repeated. Keith looked down and sighed. Panchito sighed, "It's alright," he said, walking towards him, shaking his hand, "I won't tell nobody, my lips are sealed." Keith smiled, "Really you'll do that Mr. Pistoles?" Panchito nodded, "Of course!," he laughed and pulled his free hand back and formed a fist, "just tell me why you're here eh?" Keith nodded, "We were sent to kill you actually, you posed a threat to Patricia, I mean, the Don." Panchito nodded, "That's what I thought." He said and threw a hard blow to Keith's head, knocking him unconscious.

Panchito let Keith drop to the floor, he looked around the room and saw that Marcus began to stand. "You're one tough sheriff." He said, rolling his shoulders and jumping up and down, loosening up for a punch. "But I'm going to make you bleed like the-" Panchito punched him in the face, with the speed of an MMA fighter. "Yeah right." The rooster said, giving Marcus a hard uppercut. Marcus staggered back a bit, and wiped the blood from his face and nose. "Come on, come on, come on!" He said begging the rooster to try again, this time he would be ready...to cry like a pansy. Panchito ran towards him, jumped in mid stride, and kicked Marcus down. Standing over him, Panchito spun his pistols, "I don't want to do this, I really don't, so just tell me, what do you want eh?" Marcus spat in the rooster's face. Panchito wiped off the saliva and hit Marcus in the head with the butt of his right pistol, knocking him out cold. He sheathed the weapons and walked to the center of the room.

Everything was quiet, not a sound, Panchito looked around and saw the bodies of Rocky, Keith, Marcus, and Pedro, he felt sorry for what he did, but in truth they did try to kill him and furthermore they destroyed his friend's house. "Well, that takes care of-" A motion of a hand, a twitch of an eye, all at once, all four of them stood up, and pointed their pistols at him, loaded, and had their fingers on the trigger. Panchito looked around the room again, and saw that he was, once again surrounded. "Alright," he said, "if you must, but first let me do one final act if you don't mind." He said as he threw his pistols up in the air, and caught them, aiming each one at an assailant at their heads. "Adios hombres." The rooster said and shot Marcus and Keith. Pedro and Rocky fired their pistols towards the rooster, who moved left then right, avoiding both bullets. He shot Rocky in the head, which exploded into bits and pieces. Pedro grabbed Panchito's other pistol from his hand, the rooster sighed, "You're going to regret that." He said. "Oh yeah," Pedro said, "how so?" Panchito smiled as he put his right foot forward, left foot back. He then lifted the ball of his right and turned his whole body sideways. He pivoted his right, his back was facing Pedro, who didn't move, he was watching, observing, and curious. Panchito looked back over his shoulder, then with all his weight on his right leg, jumped, he then launched his left straight back underneath himself, protecting the groin area, and kicked Pedro hard in the face. The jumping spinning back kick. The rooster landed, and punched the killer hard in the face. Pedro dropped the pistol, Panchito caught and shot in one fluid motion, he didn't even move. Pedro fell down to his knees, his face bleeding and a bullet inside him submitted and was dead. Panchito spun his pistols back in his sheath.

Back in the living room, things only got worse, as Scrooge began roasting Donald in the fireplace, speaking gibberish and Jose was back in the house, shaking off whatever took over him. " Santo fuma! O que está acontecendo aqui!" The parrot exclaimed looking at the Horseman who was looking up at the blue portal thinking of a way to stop it. "Jose," the Horseman said, "you enjoy flying?" Jose nodded, "Si senor, I go on plane trips all the time." The Horseman shook his head, "I meant natural flying."

"Oh, um, it's been a while since I've actually flown, why?" Jose asked walking towards the Horseman. "Jose," the Rat said, "you need to save me." The Horseman and Jose looked at the Rat with confusion. Rat didn't have time to answer because he de-materialized like a Willy Wonka chocolate bar going through the Wonka Vision machine and Rat's particles were sucked into the TV. Just then, six large men wearing all black, and black cowls, came in with guns. "Where is Pistoles!" The first one to enter said, who was the leader, whose name was Robert. Panchito very timely came in through the door. "Right here you palooka," he said and shot him. The other five came rushing towards him, before Jose or the Horseman could assist him, three of the remaining five were already on the ground, one unconscious, two dead. Reason, the beautiful wonderful 360 kick, also known as the tornado kick. As the leader rushed forward, Panchito got back into side stance, rotated the ball of his front foot, pivoted, put his leg up at exactly forty-five degrees with his leg also coming out at forty five degrees, he switched making the other leg parallel to the ground, he kicked, driving the leg more upward, forcing Robert's head back unconscious. The other two came up from his sides. From his left Panchito did the classic crane kick and the right he just quickly turned and shot him. The other two Jose and the Horseman took care of, since the others were busy having a paranormal moment. "Who sent you?" The Horseman said, picking the one of them up by the collar. "Patricia." He said. "Why?" The Horseman asked. "Because he went against the family, you don't go against the family!" The henchmen said. "Don't give me that Godfather shit," Jose said, roughing the other guy up, "why are you here!" He said, getting just as mad and wishing that he could kick the lights out of him but couldn't. "We're here to kill you, you made a mistake by crashing that party. Everyone there was supposed to die, the kid was bait, he was part of this too you see, he's actually twenty-six, and his goal was to get rid of Pistoles here, Mr. Zachary works for Jesse Summers." Jose nodded, "So, Summers wants Panchito dead?" Both henchmen nodded. "Go," Jose said, "and tell them that they messed with the wrong family." Jose let the henchman go and when he was exiting with his companion, the Horseman stopped them, "Try and kill the rooster again," he said, "I won't be merciful." The henchmen nodded and bolted down the street.

"Now," Panchito said, looking around, seeing that everyone was participating in some sort of weird dithyramb. "What's up?" He asked. Jose turned towards his friend, "Where did you learn to do that?" He asked. Panchito nodded, "I took self-defense classes for about ten years on weekends." Jose shook his head, confused, "Where were I and how did I not know?" Panchito laughed, "Remember all those 'fishing trips'?" The rooster said. Jose nodded, remembering a time when it seemed that all Panchito would do was 'fish'. "But why?" The parrot asked. The rooster shrugged his shoulders, "Just something to do." He said. "Now, what's up with nuestros amigos?"

"Well," Rat answered from the recesses of the TV, "they've lost their marbles, we don't really know what to do to be honest, now get me out of here!" He said. Panchito walked over to Scrooge, put his aside and pulled Donald out from the fireplace. Panchito laughed as he looked at his friend, whose white feathers were now brown, some of them even peeled off. "Donal'" Panchito said, "you alright mi amigo?" He asked. Donald nodded, "Yeah, I'm alright, thanks for asking, who are you?" He said. Panchito slapped him in the face. "Ow!" Donald said, "geez why'd you do that for?" He said. "You don't remember me?" Panchito said, halfway concerned. "Never seen you before in my life. Name's Donald." The duck extended his hand. Panchito shook it, smiled, put two fingers in his mouth and whistled. "Oh, The Three Caballeros, The Three Caballeros, they say we are birds of a feather!" Panchito sang. "Come on Donal' you know the words yes?" The rooster asked with a somewhat pleading smile, Donald hummed the tune but didn't sing anything. "That's it!" Panchito said with a smile, "Now, who am I?" Donald looked at him, "Um, a crazy Mexican rooster who sings terribly out of key? I don't know." The duck said shrugging his shoulders. Panchito sighed and hung his head, "Jose!" He said, yelling assertively, "do your umbrella thing." Jose nodded and pulled out his black umbrella from his sleeve and played it as a flute, the same tune he introduced Donald to back in Brazil. Donald's behind moved to the rhythm of the samba but other than that he didn't have a revelation. When Jose was finished, he thought of one other solution. Daisy's letter. He walked over and handed it to him, "Here," Jose said, "it's your girlfriend." Donald took the letter and opened it, "Thanks." He said and read the letter:

Dear Donald,

I'm going to New York City to open my winter fashion line up. You said you wanted to make our relationship better, so this is your last chance. You never support me in anything, and I really need this for my career and my life and hopefully our lives, but only if you can make it on time. Be at Times Square during Macy's I'll see you there.

Love, for the last time maybe,

Daisy

P.S. - Don't bring that stupid, fat, annoying, son of a bitch rooster friend of yours, if I see him, I'm going to ring his neck out (it was the war, he was there, you weren't, he left me- don't talk to him about it either, he'll lie and say it was my fault- which is wasn't)

Donald's eyes twitched as he threw the letter down on the floor. "Panchito," he said, regaining his memory, "we need to talk."

"Sure about what?" The rooster asked.

"Not now," Donald said, "first we need to help these guys." He looked up at the portal to the room, "Shit." he said with a sigh. "Hold on, I can fix this." He walked down the hall and into Tina's room. Funny enough, Steven Spielberg was sitting on the bed, typing away on his computer. "Oh, hey Donald," he said with a smile, "like it so far?" Donald shook his head, "Get out!" He said. Spielberg nodded, "Fine just let me do this once last scene and...done." He closed his laptop and walked out of the room. "Have fun." He said with a smile, whistling a made up tune. Donald looked back towards him and followed him, "What did you write!" He called. "The ending you miserable duck. The ending." With that Spielberg ran towards the door and out onto the street. Donald ran after him and tackled him. "What the hell happens!" He screamed, punching Steven in the face. Spielberg laughed, "The end my friend, the end." Donald looked back at the house, and then back at Spielberg, "You're a sick man." Steven smiled, "You don't like the story, so I changed the ending for you, don't worry, you'll survive...at least." Donald turned back towards the house and ran as fast as he could. He was just about to make it to the front door when the house exploded into a large mushroom cloud that reached up into the sky, thousands of feet into the air, past planes, clouds, and into the far reaches of space. Donald, who escaped the explosion with minor scrapes, looked back to Steven Spielberg, "What happened to you?" He asked, "You used to be great." Spielberg stood and shrugged his shoulders, "I became real." He said. Donald nodded, "Yeah, a real piece of shit." Donald said as he stared back at the mushroom cloud as tears rolled down his face.