A/n – I didn't create them, but damn, do I make them do the best things!

No profit, ill-will, malice, etc…

This chapter, wow. Erm, I think that this is my favorite so far, for so many reasons, and I really hope y'all like it, just as much as I do. Not beta'd, again.

HOLY CRAP Y'ALL, sweet merciful squirrels, I have over 100 reviews. Thank you, so much.

Just a word before I let y'all get to it, there is a massive heat wave going on cross country right now, and I am dealing with it, as I am sure many of you are, too. Monday thru Wednesday is supposed to be wickedly hot, and I am going to do whatever I can to keep me and my kids cool. I am also going to do whatever I can to keep my laptop functional, and if that means going to the pool or the beach, and not bringing the laptop, that is what it means. If you don't see any updates, it isn't writers block, I'll more than likely keep a notebook with me, y'know, those things with paper, you use a pen, or a pencil, crayons even to write, so that if the characters want to be heard, they can be, I just won't be online unless I can do so without melting.

Now, y'all read me whine about the heat, y'all have been dealing with me leaving chapters at odd points, so here ya go, Chapter 14

What a Man

"Erik?" I whispered, my mouth just brushing against his, we were so close.

"Yes, Sookie?" he whispered back, tongue darting out to trace my lower lip.

"What sort of legal representation would working for you get me if I were to damage my idiot brother right now?"

"Well, "we were still whispering, "I could probably retain better service for you on a personal level."

"Well, all right then!" With that, I turned to lunge at Jase. I wasn't sure what I was going to do when I reached him, and it didn't matter, as Erik never released his grip on me. I moved forward just enough to get snapped back against Erik's chest, his head resting on my chin, the hand that was at my hip now holding my hand, the arm that was across my back, now around my waist. Laf and Pam were standing behind Jason, in the open doorway. Laf looked shocked and angry, Pam looked amused.

"Ohhhh, Loverboy, I swear on all that is right and holy that as much as I may love you, I'm gonna let Lover and Pudding beat yo ass senseless. I'll help clean ya up, tend to your wounds all Florence Nightingale like, but I'm'a let them beat you down. It's for your own good." Laf sounded so profoundly sad and let down in that moment, it almost made me reconsider the beating I was planning on dishing out…almost.

"Darling, you and your family are so amusing! Erik, I don't think we have ever been as glorious in our infighting, have we?"

"Pamela, my purveyor of petulance and pith, I really think this is one you need to just step away from for a moment, yes? If you don't have anything nice to say, and don't want to be spending our money on lawyers and doctors, maybe you shouldn't be throwing flames on the fire?"

"Wait, you love me, Laf?" Jason asked, sedately.

"Jason, did Momma and Poppa drop you on your head when you were a baby? Did Gran sprinkle paint chips on your Wheaties instead of sugar? Did you forget to breathe when you were motor-boating Maude? What is your malfunction that you come in here, tossing around the concerned big brother routine, and all you can focus on is that Laf said he loves you. SERIOUSLY, he's been dealing with you tomcatting around for 7 years, in SECRET, and you didn't realize that he loved you? Is your penis made of chocolate, do you cum wine, did you get a PhD in cock sucking? How can you be so dense not to get that Lafayette loves your sorry ass, and that is why he put up with you, being, well YOU for seven god forsaken years! The only reason I have stuck around and taken care of you is because I HAVE to love you, I'm your sister!" Man, I am happy that Laf loves Jase, but really, that is not what is important here. What is important is that I am going to beat him 8 degrees of senseless for being so stupid. Hell, I might even beat the stupid right out of him!

"Oh Erik, I know I asked before, but I am asking again, please say we can keep her?"

"SHUT UP PAM!" Wow, four people shouting at the same time is rather loud!

"ENOUGH!" Erik yelled, literally over my head, "Here is how this is going to work. The Idiot Savant in Cock Block here is going to take Lafayette across the hall, into Pam's place, and further, into Laf's room. Once in there, I don't care what happens, but no one is leaving that room until three things happen, First- the two of you understand that you love each other, and work out how you are going to move forward, if there's going to be any sort of monogamy, and if not, what sort of rotation is going on, as I am fine with whatever you decide, but I DO NOT want this sort of drama under my roof, nightly.

Second- Whatever needs to happen to get the bunglehead understanding that his sister MAYBE choosing to have sex with me is none of his business, happens. I cannot promise that I won't rock her world, hard, on a regular basis. I cannot promise that it will be kept in the bedroom, in my apartment, hell, I cannot even promise that it won't incur an indecent exposure charge, to be honest, but I can promise that if she and I decide to fuck, to have a fling, to have a one night stand, or to have a relationship, get married, and grow old together raising rabbits, I will do right by her, she will know that something in her life has irrevocably changed, and I will do my best not to hurt her. That, sir, is ALL you ever NEED to know about the PERSONAL relationship Sookie and I have, or will have, or may have, whatever.

Third- and I am only saying this to you once, so listen, and listen well, Sookie Stackhouse's personal relationship with me has no bearing on her professional one at this point. Pamela is just as much her boss as I am, and as Sookie doesn't like women in that way, you can rest assured that she didn't 'sleep her way' into this job. I want it to be absolutely understood that if I hear you, her supposedly loving brother, make that insinuation one more time, not only will I allow Sookie to beat you senseless, I may join in."

I am so going to let this man scrub my back the next time I shower.

Erik took a deep breath, then continued, "Pamela, sweet, darling, lovechild of a harpy and a shrew, Sharpy, I like it. Sharpy, if you know what is good for you, you will also go across the hall, into your own apartment. Once there, you will set a time for three hours. During those three hours, you are not to knock on this door, unless there is an emergency. You are not to even THINK about unlocking this door, unless there is an emergency. When that three hours is over, you are more than welcome to come over and help Sookie get ready for tonight. I expect you can manage her hair, makeup and an outfit between when you are allowed back in here, and when you will be needed downstairs?"

Pam just nodded, then turned around and went to her apartment, making sure Jase and Laf were with her. Instead of letting me go, Erik just tightened his grip around my waist, lifted me up a few inches, and walked us to the door. Once there, he not only locked it, but put the chain on it. Then he carried me over to the Rabbit hutch, and used his free hand to check out the water and food situation, and sooth Cuddle Butt. After this, he walked me a few more feet, set me on the ground, turned me so I was facing him, and kissed me.

Oh sweet baby Jeebus, did he kiss me. His lips were surprisingly smooth, and his tongue, when I allowed it into my mouth, and wrapped my own around it, tasted like coffee and the cinnamon I smelled earlier. Good to know, either cinnamon in the coffee, or gum, or something…wow my waist feels so tiny in his hands, and my back feels even smaller, and holy shit, that is not a cell phone or a wallet, and he is not carrying a gun, which means what I feel pressed against my stomach…

By the Power of Greyskull, he is He-Man!