Title:
No Way Back
Part: 14/?
Author: Jemma
Story Status: IN
PROGRESS
Season: Five
Spoilers: Ascension
Categories: Angst,
AU
fic
Pairings:
Sam/Jack
Rating: K+
Content Warnings: Angst, UST,
swearing
Summary: After the events of Ascension, Sam turns down
the offer of an 'under-the-covers' operation. But when an old
face returns to the SGC, she decides to accept it. However, when her
recruiter finds out why she really took the post, they blackmail her
into working as a double agent at the SGC. (AU story)
Sam/Jack
Archive Permissions: Please ask.
Disclaimer: I do not
own any of the characters relating to Stargate.
They belong to MGM and any of their associates. I'm just playing
around with them for a little while!
Authors Note: Written based
on the following challenge:
Challenge
#1,968
(Added 20 March 2003)
1. Has to be about S/J (cause I'm addicted
gg) 2. Maybourne wants to win Carter for one of his projects, but Sam
rejects it. 3. Sam is annoyed as she thinks there is no future for
her and Jack, as Laira shows up at the SGC.
4. Sam is really
depressed and finally goes to Maybourne. 5. Maybourne realises why
Sam is on his side and plans to do something.(good/bad?) 6. Please a
good S/J ending. Submitted by Maggie.
This is very much a work in progress!
I had a wonderful first week at Uni, but am already feeling quite overwhelmed at the amount of work ahead of me! So, I've started this so that I have something to 'dip' into on study-breaks! It may end up being quite a long fic, and take me a while to write. As I post parts, and feedback you can email me will be greatly appreciated to keep it going!
Date: 7th March 2008
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Sam had left her two friends behind in the commissary, wishing that she hadn't opened her mouth and asked anything about the Colonel. She didn't make a habit of talking about her past, and watching her cousin die in the way he did came under that heading.
Flicking the cover on her watch, she picked up the pace, realising that she was due for her meeting with the Colonel and the General in less than 5 minutes.
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Jack was sitting in Hammonds office, in front of the older mans desk, in silence. He had left Laira a little over 10 minutes ago, after trying yet again to persuade her to go ahead with the treatment. It took him a moment to realise the General was saying his name.
"Colonel O'Neill?" "Jack?"
He snapped himself out of his thoughts. "Sorry General, miles away."
"That's ok son. How is Laira doing?"
"She…she's ok sir. The treatment, for the cancer…she doesn't know if she wants to go ahead with it."
"I understand her cancer is advanced?"
"Yes sir," he replied. "Stage 3. The chemotherapy, radiotherapy…" he trailed off, not wanting to think about the words he was about to say. "It's only gonna slow it down sir."
The General shook his head slowly and pushed himself back in his chair.
"I am sorry to hear that Jack," he began. After taking a deep breath he continued. "My wife, it was cancer that got her, as you well know. She took all the treatments, all the drugs. I had to watch her suffer for months Jack, all the side-effects, the pain…"
Jack looked up from studying his hands in his lap, to look at his friend. "What are you saying sir?"
Clenching his jaw slightly, he replied. "I'm saying, that whatever Laira decides, you need to support her on this one Jack. Even if that means no treatment."
The Colonel lowered his head once more. "I think I understand what you're saying sir."
A knocking at the door broke the atmosphere in the small office immediately.
"Come," the General called out as Jack rubbed his hand quickly over his face.
"Major Carter, come in."
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Stepping into the office, Sam immediately sensed the slight tension in the air. However, as soon as she closed the door and turned back around, everything seemed to be back to normal.
"Major, come take a seat," the General said to her with a smile, a gesture that Sam found extremely comforting.
She had kept her head down throughout her probation but still felt apprehensive of the meeting. But then, she thought, who wouldn't? It was her career after all.
"Thank you sir," she replied, walking forwards and taking a seat next to the Colonel, who had as of yet, failed to say anything. She glanced in his direction as she sat, and noticed he looked pale, tired, stressed.
"So Major," the General began, drawing her attention back to the man in front of her. "How do you think things have gone the past couple of weeks?"
"Good sir. I've had quite a…productive two weeks with Dr. Lee; we've made significant advances with the device he was studying."
She saw the older man smile at her emphasis on the word 'productive'.
"Indeed you have, Dr. Lee submitted his report to me this morning. And otherwise, you've had no problems or difficulties?"
"No sir, none at all." A little voice in the back of her head was screaming at her, but she knew that Laira being on the base wasn't exactly a problem she could ever bring up in a probation review, in front of the Colonel, or with the General at all. "I've been working my allocated hours, no late nights, I feel good."
"I'm pleased to hear that Major, very pleased. Colonel O'Neill, do you have anything to add about Major Carter's performance over the past two weeks?"
She looked across to the man sat at her side. The General's question seemed to have caught him off guard, and she couldn't help the feeling or irritation which spread up from her stomach. This was her review after all, would if kill him to try and be a little involved? As soon as she'd thought those words, she mentally kicked herself.
"Ah, no sir. Reports I've had from Major Carter's colleagues have all been acceptable. I'm happy for her to return to active duty."
"Very well then," the General was practically beaming. "Major Carter, you are now relieved of your probation and are returned to full active duty as of now. Congratulations Major."
"Thank you sir," Sam replied, standing from her seat and saluting her superior officer.
"Major, please report to the briefing room tomorrow at 08:00 hours to SG-1's mission briefing to P29-779."
"Yes sir," she replied. "Thank you…both," she added cautiously, before turning from the desk and leaving to give her team mates the good news.
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Sam had struggled to remove herself from Daniel and even Teal'c's grips after she had told them her good news. She thought they might even be happier than she was, but then again, her thoughts were already occupied elsewhere…
"Did Jack say anything to you?" Daniel had asked her eagerly.
"No," she replied, shaking her head slowly. "But I think he's got other things on his mind."
"Indeed," Teal'c had concurred.
"Have either of you heard anymore about Laira?" she asked quietly.
"We have not," Teal'c replied. "We were going to visit her, would you care to accompany us?"
Sam took a moment to consider the offer. Granted, a week ago you couldn't have dragged her into that infirmary for anything, but now…knowing how ill Laira was and how the situation was almost identical to that of someone she loved very much…
"Yeah, I'll come down with you."
She saw amazement pass over Daniel's face for a moment, quickly replaced with a smile and "great, shall we go?"
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Laira had been confined to a bed for longer than ever before, and she was not enjoying the experience. She wished more than anything that her mother could be with her, to help her and talk with her about her illness. But she was alone…although, she did have Jack. But she doubted he would understand if she did decide not to accept the treatments being offered to her by the earth doctors.
As she turned from her right side to lie on her back once more, she saw some familiar faces at the door to her room.
"Daniel, Teal'c, come in, please." As they entered, smiling at her as they walked, she saw another person coming in behind them. "Major Carter, it is good to see you."
The blonde woman smiled at her as she approached the bed, though Laira could see the awkwardness in her movements.
"Laira, how are you doing?" she heard Daniel ask her.
"I am well Daniel, thank you."
"That is good to hear," Teal'c had replied.
A slightly awkward silence fell on the room and Laira looked to the woman standing at the end of her bed. She could see that the Major was doing her best to smile and look at ease. Laira smiled at her before speaking.
"Do any of you know where Jack is?"
"Um…" Sam began. "I just came from a meeting with him and the General…he's probably on his was back."
Laira nodded her head gently in recognition of the woman's answer.
After a moments silence, Daniel spoke. "Ah, we just wanted to see how you were doing, so we'll let you get some rest before Jack gets back…"
"Thank you Daniel, thank all of you for your concern."
The younger man squeezed her arm gently, whilst Teal'c bowed his head gently. To her surprise, Sam did not move.
"Ah guys, I'll catch up with you in a minute."
Laira noted the look of surprise on both mens faces and watched as the blonde woman let them walk past her and out of the room.
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For a moment, Sam thought she might have gone completely insane.
But ever since she had learnt what was wrong with Laira, it had hit her close to home. She knew that she had to say something. Something to help. She'd let horrible thoughts enter her mind when Laira had first arrived at the base and couldn't help but feel guilty about these as she saw the woman before her; tired and pale.
She moved slowly to the side of the bed and could feel the woman's eyes following her as she walked.
"Major Carter, is everything ok?" she heard her ask, and couldn't help but laugh when she registered exactly what had been said.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"
"Perhaps, but you look as though you have something…difficult…to say…"
Breathing out deeply, Sam spoke. "Well, I just wanted to…apologise really, for not coming to see you sooner…I've been on probation you see, which has kept me…"
"It's ok Major, I understand," she interrupted.
Sam nodded slowly. "So," she began awkwardly again. "Have you made any decisions about the treatment Dr. Fraiser spoke to you about?"
Laira smiled. "No, not yet. I'm waiting for guidance from the ancestors as to what I should do." After a moments pause, she added, "It's hard to make a decision, when Jack is always trying to persuade me one way."
"He just wants you to be ok," Sam replied quietly.
"Yes, he does. But he knows as well as I, that whatever decision I make, that is unlikely."
"Laira…" Sam began.
"It's ok Major. I don't need to be protected from this. I understand what is going to happen to me."
"It sounds as though you've already made your decision."
Laira smiled slowly. "I think perhaps I have."
"You understand that without treatment, you will die?"
"I know. But with it that is equally likely. I've never heard of these treatments. I have read your literature and know how they would affect me, for very little benefit."
Sam nodded her head. She suddenly felt overwhelming respect for the woman before her. To understand so little about a disease but to then go on and make a decision as brave as hers; she admired her strength.
"I um…" she began, hesitating as to whether she should say anything. Though having already started, and with Laira looking at her expectantly, she continued. "A relative of mine, a cousin, he had a similar illness to yours. He did have the treatments, but in the end the disease won. He died."
Sam noticed her hands were gripping the side of Laira's bed hard, so hard her fingers were turning white.
"Why are you telling me this Major Carter?"
Sam thought about the question for a moment. "Because…I just wanted you to know…that your decision is a brave one, and perhaps…a very sensible one."
Looking down to the woman in front of her, Sam immediately saw that she was smiling.
"Thank you…Sam."
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The General had paperwork that needed signing after the meeting with Carter, which Jack had wanted to put off so he could get back to Laira, but the General had insisted it be done given that Carter was back on active duty. Together they completed the work in half an hour and the General had let him go as soon as it had been completed.
As he made it back to the infirmary, he noticed that Laira was alone but awake.
"Hey," he called out gently as he entered the room.
She turned her head to face him and he could see that she was smiling.
"Jack," she breathed out quietly. He could sense that she was feeling tired and weak.
"Hey, how you doin'?" he asked quietly, pulling up a stool to the side of the bed and resting his hand over hers for a moment before returning it to his lap.
"I am well."
He smiled at her as he took in her oddly, relaxed, appearance. "You seem…different…" he pushed carefully, not able to pin down exactly what had changed in the last hour.
The woman in front of him smiled once more. "Jack, I've received the guidance I needed."
The questioning smile he had had on his face since sitting down beside her evaporated.
"And, what exactly does that mean…" he questioned. He saw her arm reach forward from the bed and he immediately took her hand. "What's goin' on?"
She took some shallow breaths before answering. "Jack, I'm not going to be having the treatment."
And then it happened. Snap.
"What do you…when did you…?" he began, keeping his anger at bay, but only just.
"Daniel, Teal'c and Major Carter came to see me a little while ago," she started. "I spoke at length with Sam in particular. Jack, I was waiting for guidance from the ancestors and I think I got it. She hasn't been to see me for the time I have been here. Now on this day, when I wanted to make my final decision, she came here."
He could feel anger rising once more, but not because of Laira. He clenched his jaw, but tried to relax the fingers which were holding hers.
"And what exactly did Major Carter tell you?" He heard himself almost spit the words and immediately felt guilty for unintentionally directing his anger at the woman in front of him.
"She did not influence me Jack. She spoke to me, asked how I felt. She told me about a loved one who had a similar disease to mine and this for me sealed my decision. I do not want to have months and months of these treatments, to feel worse than I do now, only to prolong my life for a little longer. There is no point, I want to enjoy what time I have left and when my time comes, I will join the ancestors in the stars"
Jack nodded slowly, rapidly trying to think of yet another counter argument. "Haven't you thought what…"
"Jack, please," he heard her plead. "I do not wish to argue about this any longer. I have made my decision, please, help me to honour it."
Hearing her beg him for her help almost broke him. He stood from his seat and moved closer to the bed, resting his hand in her hair as her blood-shot eyes looked up at him. "Of course I will," he whispered.
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There it is! Thoughts anyone?! What's gonna happen when Jack sees Sam next…?!