A/N: This is the last of my prewritten chapters so it's a good job I have a bit more time now to write! I hope you like this one. I hope Emma's confusion and emotions come out as much as I wanted them to. Again, there's a little nod in this one to a previous work in this chapter as well (a different one than last time). Not sure why I do it, but it entertains me. Thank you so much for all your support. I appreciate it so much. You are all wonderful! Thanks!

Song: Take Me To Church - Hozier - watch?v=c-tW0CkvdDI

Warning: This chapter mentions self-harm and abuse.

Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time belong to ABC and the show's creators.

Killian wasn't in chemistry Monday morning when Emma arrived. She scowled at the empty chair, turning to look into the lab and see if maybe he was escaping the other students again. But the lab was also empty.

Where was Killian? That man was always early, always there when Emma showed up a few minutes before the bell. Was he okay? Normally Emma would chock up early absences to people sleeping in but with Killian, well she had a bad feeling. Had his father hurt him? Had Emma been wrong in assuming that he was okay when she dropped Liam off?

Emma cursed under her breath, moving over to her own chair. She turned in it, watching the door, fingers tapping in agitation. She reached into her bag and grabbed her cell phone, flicking the screen on and off, watching the minutes flick by. Every time she heard footsteps coming down the hall she'd perk up, staring at the doorway, waiting for that shaggy dark hair and black leather jacket. But it was never who she wanted to see.

Emma was glad Mary Margaret and Regina were at a college tour for the University of Maine and weren't around to see her nervous energy. Regina wouldn't let her live it down if she saw Emma so worried over Killian skipping class, especially after her accusations over the phone on Friday. But they didn't know. They didn't know Killian's younger brother had plates thrown at him with such force they opened his skin up like butter. They didn't know Killian had to intervene who knows how often to make sure his brother stayed some semblance of safe, no matter the cost to himself. They just didn't know. Hell Emma didn't really know. And that made her nervous.

Whale entered, calling the class to order before sending everyone to the lab. Still no Killian. Emma slipped her phone into her pocket before moving to her own station.

"I guess you're alone today," Whale said, coming up behind her. Emma nodded, trying to hide the way she was ringing her fingers together. "It's an easy enough lab though. You'll be fine on your own. Okay?"

Emma nodded again, pretending to pick up her lab sheet. When Whale walked away she slipped out her phone, calling up Killian's name in her text messages. Was she overreacting wanting to check in? Would he be overwhelmed and annoyed, thinking she was trying to interfere or was being nosy? Was she overreacting? Killian had been alone like this for years, he obviously knew how to handle himself.

But did he have to keep doing it by himself?

Though on the other hand, Emma was probably the last person he wanted forcing herself into his business.

She cursed at her own self-doubt and confusion before opening up a new message.

You okay?

She sent it off before she could change her mind or start to realize how ridiculous she was being. Pull yourself together Emma. She cursed at herself again, tapping her nail against the counter. She was never this easily distracted by other people before Killian arrived.

Emma went back to the lab handout and started the assignment. If anyone was to ask her if she checked her phone every five minutes she would vehemently deny the accusation. But Emma never said she didn't lie.

There was still no sign or reply from Killian through English class. Where was he? Emma was getting even more agitated. She actually snapped at someone who bumped into her desk, where she would usually just scowl and try to melt into the wall so people would ignore her.

Most of the irritation was worry but there was part of Emma that kept resurfacing the thought she'd had in chemistry. Emma had spent eight years forcing herself not to care about anyone other than a very select few and most of her worry about those people was to do with her belief that they would leave her alone if she didn't prove she was good enough. But now she wasn't worried about caring so Killian wouldn't leave. Now she was caring and worried because she wanted to make sure he was okay. She wanted to help him to make his life easier, not really for the selfish protection that she normally indulged in. This man had crept up on her and now she felt like she had no control over her emotions when it came to him. And that was as scary as it was irritating.

Emma made it to lunch before her worry got the best of her. Killian still hadn't texted her back. As soon as the bell rang Emma shoved her belongings into her bag and hurried to her car. Starting the car she considered her options. Obviously she knew where Killian lived but it wasn't like she could just go knock on the door if he didn't know she was coming. What if his father opened the door? But if his father was home would Killian be home too or would he be away somewhere, trying to keep away from the man Emma was quickly wishing would take a long walk off a short pier?

The pier. That was where Killian was working now wasn't it? Maybe he'd be around there? Liam did say they liked the water. That seemed like the best chance for tracking Killian down. If she didn't find him there she wasn't sure what she'd do. Other than continue her decent into this slightly pathetic panic.

Emma slid the car into drive and moved towards the docks. Granny's was on the way so she pulled over and ran in, grabbing two sandwiches and a couple of cookies from the kitchen, shoving them into her bag as she hurried out again, trying to avoid getting caught by a Granny who was in the back doing inventory.

Emma hadn't been to the docks in years. If she wanted to be near the water she'd go to the beach, because it was usually empty and allowed her to keep out of the way of the people who worked the fishing vessels on the dock. Funny how Killian was once again making her break her routines and actually go to the dock, especially during working hours.

If there was actually no reason for her to worry about Killian she'd kill him for all he was doing to her.

Emma parked in the lot, groaning at all the trucks already there. How was she supposed to find Killian when she didn't actually know what his job was? Or if he was here. One way to find out. Emma grabbed her bag and got out, hurrying towards the pier.

The men watched her as she tried to casually walk around. Men watched her from their boats but Emma tried to ignore them. For Storybrooke being such a small town she didn't recognize them and that made her nervous. She scanned the area.

"'Lo love, you lost?" one of the men leered out at her. Emma stopped, watching the man as he climbed up one of the pier ladders from his boat below. Her hands fisted at her side, a chill running up and down her back.

Emma opened her mouth to speak but before she could there were footsteps coming up behind her. Emma prepared to whirl and defend herself. "I'm afraid the lass is looking for me, Tom." This voice she knew. Killian.

A slightly wet hand slipped into hers. "Come on, lass." Killian pulled on her hand, and Emma turned. Bending close to her ear he whispered, "I'll let you go as soon as we get to the bench."

Emma nodded, allowing Killian to guide her along, focusing on how warm Killian's hand was, how relieved she was that he'd shown up, how he smelled vaguely of fish. Killian stopped when they'd gone around the corner of the pier, stopping behind a trailer container that was near a bench. He immediately released her hand and Emma drew in a deep breath, staring at the ocean.

"What are you doing here?" Killian asked. There was a bit of anger but also confusion in his tone. Emma tried not to let the blush rise in her cheeks. Maybe this had been a terrible decision?

But when Emma turned she knew she hadn't made a mistake. Killian had a purple and green bruise flaming under his eye, forcing it slightly shut. His lip was a bit split but looking like it was starting to heal. Emma ran her eyes over the rest of his body, as if she could see through his clothing for other injuries.

"Don't." Killian's voice was a whisper, eyes shutting as he sat down.

Emma nodded, settling beside him, leaving a gap between their thighs. "How's Liam?" she asked after a moment of silence, not sure what else to say. What could she say?

"Lee's good," Killian replied, a slight hint of a smile in his words. "He's very excited about his new 'job'." Emma smiled, running her fingers across the zip of her backpack. Killian drew in a deep breath, causing Emma to turn at the sound. "Why are you here?" Killian asked again.

Emma shrugged, biting her lip. Should she make up something about chemistry class and an assignment? Or did Killian deserve her honesty? To know that someone actually cared? What would Emma want if the roles were reversed?

"I was worried."

"About chemistry? Lass, you're smart enough to do it without me."

Emma shook her head, watching the waves race towards the shore but feeling Killian watching her. "No. About you."

"You were worried about me?"

"Why so surprised?"

"Did you just ask me that?"

Emma snorted. That was a fair response. "You didn't show up today and then I sent you a text and you didn't respond. And with Friday-" Emma trailed off.

"I can handle myself." But did he have to alone? Emma didn't voice that though. That was too far for her. What if he rejected her, told her to mind her own business? Emma was already so mixed up by this man that she was scared to push him away and have that throw her for an even bigger loop.

Instead of saying anything Emma reached into her backpack and pulled out the bag of sandwiches and another with the cookies. She took one out and handed it to Killian who took it with a shocked expression.

"Only the egg were ready. I hope that's alright."

"It's fine, lass. More than I brought with me," Killian said, murmuring the last bit as if Emma wasn't supposed to hear it. "Thank you," he said, louder this time.

"So they didn't care that a high schooler shows up when he should be at school looking like," she waved her hand at her face, sandwich flopping in her hand.

"Told them I had a fight over a girl. They didn't care- thought that was great, bloody wankers."

"Well they seem like proper gentlemen today," Emma replied sarcastically, shivering at the look the man who's spoken to her had worn.

Killian gave a little grin around his sandwich. "Whatever pays the bills."

"Does your father work?" Emma asked, blurting out the question before she could consider it. Killian tensed and she wondered if she'd gone too far. But Killian took a deep breath, another bite of his sandwich and then started to speak.

"Sometimes. They haven't fired him yet. He works as a night janitor, it's why you've heard Liam say we couldn't go home until the evening."

"To avoid him?"

Killian nodded. "It's about the only job he can keep since no one else is around."

"Was he always like this?"

Again, Emma wasn't sure if he would answer but like Emma had felt at the archery competition, Killian seemed compelled to answer her. "No. Not until Ma died. But he wasn't really that bad then either, just drank a lot."

"You were still in Brighton then?" Emma asked, passing over a cookie. Killian took it, a little surprised O forming at Emma remembering where he was from.

"Yeah." Killian took a bite of cookie, lost in thought for a moment. Emma let him drift, just sitting there and waiting. Killian shook his head, turning to face her. Emma watched the faraway look fade from his gaze as he focused back on her. "We stayed there a year after she died. I was eight when we left England. Came to the States. I don't know if anyone from my family knows where we went." There seemed to be more to Killian's words, as if he were thinking about someone in particular, someone he missed terribly. "Six months later Papa met Lee's mother. I didn't like her. But I didn't really matter. They got married and we got our official papers for residence. Lee arrived when I was ten. After that the violence started. Papa didn't take kindly to a baby crying when he was hungover. Lee's mother took off when he was three with another man. Left Lee in his pram until I found him after school. I knew there had been a reason I didn't like her."

"You've been looking after your brother like this since you were," Emma did some quick mental math "thirteen?"

Killian shrugged. "I was pretty terrible at it then."

"You were still a child yourself," Emma replied, her heart breaking.

"I haven't been a child in a while."

"I was fourteen when I entered the foster care system," Emma blurted, shocking both of them. "Technically I was never placed. I just stayed with Granny because she'd already been in the system from raising her granddaughter Ruby."

"But your parents are alive?"

"I assume so," Emma answered. "They gave up all guardianship of me then. I haven't seen them since I was eight and I probably never will again since they aren't my parents anymore."

"Sounds like you haven't been a child in a while either."

Emma shrugged again. "Ruby seems to think I still behave like a selfish child."

"Why?" Killian asked, looking almost angry. But why would he be angry about that? Would he be actually upset for her?

"Because I don't make people's lives easier and I push everyone away."

"Maybe you're just trying to stay safe."

Emma nodded, standing, feeling like it was time she leave before she blurted out something more dangerous, something that showed just how fucked up she actually was. "Maybe."

Killian stood with her, running his hand down his jeans awkwardly. "I guess you have to go back to school."

Emma nodded, shouldering her backpack. "Will I see you this week?"

"If the bruising fades."

"Okay."

"Thanks for lunch."

"No problem." They were both staring at each other, awkwardly shuffling around, not sure how to say good bye after such a heavy conversation.

Since she wasn't sure what else to do Emma started walking back to her car. "Swan?" Killian called. Emma turned back to where Killian still stood by the bench. "I'll text you next time if I'm not coming in okay?"

"Good." Emma turned back towards the parking lot so he wouldn't see her pleased smile. She wouldn't have to worry now. She hadn't pushed him away. Emma had taken a chance and Killian had met her half way. Huh.

If Emma didn't lose her smile until she made it back to the school, well, who was to know?