LOOK WHO IS BACK FROM THE DEAD. On the day after Halloween no less.
Why hello there, it's been a while hasn't it? I was in the midst of writing a Halloween story that I was going to publish. But it wasn't completed and/or very good. So maybe next Halloween? Who knows right?
So this lovely return to FanFiction is called Conversations with My Thirteen Year Old Self based of the song by Pink ( who grew up 10 minutes away from me! :D) and I actually wrote this in one night. INSPIRATION AT THE BEST TIME.
I would put everything I want to say here...but that's what the end is for. ;) Don't just not read the end, because there is a special contest at the end for all my awesome readers. Can't give it away though. Read on to find out!
But first, a disclaimer!
Disclaimer: I don't own songs or characters OR scenes. They have their respective owners. I just own the story they are put into. Thanks.
So I hope you enjoy! I shall try to update as soon as I can!
It was early on a Friday morning and she knew that she shouldn't be doing this. Getting caught for smoking on school property as a student was one thing… getting caught, as a teacher was a completely different story. She jabbed the cigarette into the small ashtray of her Honda and attempted to straighten her hair in the car mirror before gathering her things from her back seat and slamming the car door shut. Hillwood Middle School had recently become a very strict no smoking school, ever since an 8th grader left a cigarette burning in a trashcan and lit the entire back of an East Wing bathroom on fire. Kids just got dumber and dumber these days.
Helga Pataki stared up at the door to the building, the huge sign in blocky letters saying Hillwood Middle School and a crappy replica of an eagle hastily painted next to it. She sighed before walking into the building and towards her classroom. She taught 7th grade English, it had been her best subject in school and the only grade that covered poetry was the 7th grade, so she instantly took the class from out of the old teacher's hands. It had been a couple years that she had been teaching at Hillwood. She was still trying to get used to the concept that she was back in her hometown. She had sworn that she wouldn't come back but the job offer had been there. So she came home, regretfully.
It was quarter before 8 when her first class of the day filed into the classroom and she greeted them warmly. From 8 to 3, she had the attention of more than 100 students a day, walking in and out of the classroom. She took them time to learn their names and the way that they wrote, most of them being average to below average. But she noticed one student, who constantly seemed to surprise her. That was Talia.
Talia Evans was a seventh grade punk, according to the other teachers. Constantly making fun of the other students, missing class and assignments, talking back to other teachers and blatantly disregarding the rules. She could be summarized by only one word, trouble. For some odd reason though, Helga had almost no problems with the seventh grade's resident evil. There was the one exception; she constantly threw things at the boy in front of her, a sweetheart of a kid named Elliot. But she knew what she was doing. She had seen it all before.
Helga Pataki, age 13, was not interested in sitting in the back of the class, watching her boring teacher attempt to explain algebra problems on the blackboard. She was interested in the boy sitting one seat in front of her. Arnold. She crumpled an edge of her paper into a ball, put it her mouth and aimed for the back of his head. He turned instantly and she gave her best scowl.
"What?"
"Stop Helga."
"I'm not doing anything, Football head." She hissed.
He turned away from her and back to the teacher. She grinned as she turned her attention back to the notebook in front of her. Scribbling Mrs. Arnold Shortman into her notebook over and over again until the bell rang.
Helga spent most of the day reading Robert Frost poems with her students as she started her favorite unit, poetry. She had them each write a poem for the rest of the class period and hand them in. While she had a break before her last two classes of the day, she once again sat in her car, bottle of water in the cup holder and her high-heeled shoes off. She leaned back in the chair and put her feet on the console and started to read the poems of seventh graders. Most of them were about food, friends, and video games. The assignment was to write about something of meaning to you and she was starting to feel like it was Thanksgiving all over again with all the "I'm thankful for my friends" poems she was getting. She sighed and put the stack of papers down before she closed her eyes.
She heard a crash next to her and jolted awake. Across the parking lot was a courtyard and the students could sit there during their lunch periods. Usually this was about the time the 7th graders had lunch and she could see some of her students sitting on the picnic benches, giggling and showing each other their cell phones and IPods. The one thing that she noticed was the old oak tree that sat on the edge of the courtyard and underneath sat Talia. She wasn't facing the other students or tormenting them like she usually did. She sat with her knees curled up to her chest on the opposite side of the tree facing a metal face and staring off into the distance. Helga kept her attention focused on the girl as she watched her head sink into her lap. She was shaking from sobbing, or at least that's what it looked like. But in almost an instant, her head sprang up as Helga noticed Elliot on the other side of the tree. The girl started to yell and punched the fence before storming away while the boy looked on in pure confusion, but he attempted to chase after her. Helga stole a quick glance at the clock and slammed the car door shut, leaving the papers in her car. She had Talia and Elliot in her last period class so she would have to wait until then.
"Class, we're starting poetry today!" A couple groans. She expected this.
Last period of the day on a Friday was always the roughest for Helga. They kept moving around in their seats waiting for the bell to ring and let them go home for an hour and a half. She handed out copies of the Robert Frost poem, stopping each desk. She noticed Elliot sitting in the fourth row, closest to the window with Talia behind him, laying her head on the desk. After a few grueling minutes of attempting to finish reading, she assigned their poetry assignment and the children set out for work. She decided that this class period, she was going to have some of them read out loud. After a half hour of sitting in silence while pencils wrote on the lined papers in front of them, Helga asked the class to read out loud.
"How about we start with…"
Several students raised their hands eagerly while she kept her attention on Talia in the back row, while she seemed to be still writing.
"How about you Talia?"
She looked up at her and Helga gave her a smile. Talia looked down at her paper and back up to her. She hesitated before giving an answer.
"Can I read later, I'm not…I'm not done yet."
"Of course! Elliot, how about you?"
The bell rang after several students shared their work. They attempted to run out of the classroom.
"Excellent work today guys! Make sure you write some more this weekend!"
Talia was attempting to walk out of the room when Helga stopped her.
"Talia, can I talk to you quickly."
The girl cringed but replied.
"Am I in trouble, Miss Pataki? Because I didn't read in class?"
"No. I would like to see your poem though."
You're angry I know this the world couldn't care less
You're lonely I feel this and you wish you were the best
No teachers or guidance
And you always walk alone
The girl reached into her pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper and handed it to her. She read the first couple words quickly but slowed down. This girl was truly in pain. She put the paper down and looked up at the girl who had a worried expression in her eyes.
"Was it not good?"
"It was excellent, Talia. Very sad but very powerful."
She beckoned her to sit.
"Is there something wrong, Talia?"
The girl looked flustered as she scrambled to find the words.
"You might not have clearly stated it in your poem, but you're hurting. You're not just angry and sad, there are some complicated emotions in this."
Talia did not make a noise.
"I'm fine." She squeaked.
"You're angry and you feel like you're alone. You feel like nobody in the world is here for you and you wish that you were someone else. Someone better."
The girl looked at the floor and sniffled a few times, but didn't look up.
You're crying at night when nobody else is home
Come over here and let me hold your hand and hug you darling
"I knew that feeling before."
The girl looked at her with tears in her eye
"You did?"
"My childhood was no walk in the park. I know what it's like to try to hide how much pain you really are in."
The girl looked down at the floor again.
"There was times were I sat in my room by myself and cried all night. I couldn't tell anyone, I didn't want to tell anyone because it would ruin me. I had a reputation to uphold. "
"Does it get better?"
I promise you that it won't always feel this bad
"I promise that it does. It's something you have to realize on your own, though."
"What were you like when you were 13?"
There are so many things I want to say to you
"When I was 13? I was a mess…."
Helga paused. Did she really want to tell this thirteen-year-old girl everything that happened in her past? She wasn't entirely sure. But one look into Talia's deep green eyes and she knew that she had to say something.
You're the girl I used to be
"I was a bully. I made fun of the other kids, I was a tomboy, and I liked baseball and boxing. I didn't let people know that I was hurting because if they did, I'd get treated differently. I didn't want any pity. I just wanted to live."
"Were you lonely?"
"My parents weren't the greatest. It was okay when I was younger; it got worse when I got older. I was glad I was lucky and got out."
"I only have my dad. He's…usually gone."
"What happened to your mother?"
"She…left…when I was eight. My dad hasn't been the same since."
"How so?"
"He's depressed. He drinks a lot, he doesn't really work. He collects unemployment and used to get money from my mom since he has full custody. She stopped sending money a couple years ago."
You little heartbroken thirteen year old me
"I never knew your life has been that way. I can understand why you feel alone. But there has to be someone that can make you feel better."
"There is someone."
Helga smiled.
"Let me guess. The spitballs, the paper airplanes, the constant teasing all mean something…" The little girl blushed.
"Is it obvious?" Helga laughed.
"You really like Elliot, don't you?
Talia smiled.
"I do."
"What do you like about him?"
"He's always been nice to me…the first time we met…"
Helga wanted to pay attention to what the girl was saying but felt herself thinking about Arnold. It had been so long since she had even heard from him. Her heart broke the tiniest bit, but she turned her attention back to Talia.
You're laughing but you're hiding
God I know that trick too well
"You seem so different than the way you act when others see you. Laughing and teasing to make the pain go away. It only works for so long. Maybe Elliot caught onto that."
"He did?"
"I know that someone in my past did."
"Who?"
"His name was Arnold, I had been in love with him since the day we met…"
You forget that I've been you and now I'm just a shell
Helga Pataki, age three, walked the dark and rainy streets alone on her way to her first day of preschool. A dog stole her lunchbox, she was covered in mud and she was about ready to cry as the rain kept falling on her head and she could hear the sound of thunder in the distance. Until she couldn't feel the rain anymore and instead saw a big yellow umbrella over her head. A miniature sun during this miserable day. She looked at the little boy holding the umbrella.
"Hi. Nice bow."
"Huh?"
"I like your bow cause it's pink like your pants."
She watched him walk through the door into the preschool and she watched him at the window, a huge grin on her face and sighed happily into the windowpane. He was perfect.
"You mean you were in love with this kid and never told him?"
"I told him. Once. He…never responded. He just kind of ignored it…"
Helga Pataki, age nine, had just finished saving the neighborhood from being torn down by Scheck Enterprises and watched the grin on Arnold's face at his success. It hadn't been too long ago since she admitted on the top of the roof of the FTI building that she had been in love with him and kissed him with all of her might. She would occasionally touch her lips and blush. She watched the bus driver kiss the love of his life. She smiled but quickly frowned as he turned her.
"Pretty crazy day." She blushed.
"Yeah, we said a lot of nutty things up there."
"Yeah."
"Yeah…um…about all that stuff I said, Arnold…I…I mean… it was crazy back there…"
What was she doing? There was no possible way she was going to get out of this. She kissed him for god's sake!
"Yeah with all the excitement we just…kinda…"
"Got carried away?"
"You didn't really mean all that, did you? You don't really love me, right?"
"Right."
Was she off the hook? Everything could go back to the way it was?
"You were caught up in the heat of the moment, right?"
"Right!"
A miracle.
"You actually hate me, don't you?" She scowled.
"Of course I hate you, you stupid football head, and don't you ever forget it! Ever!"
"Okay."
She stormed off in the opposite direction and when she was out of sight. She screamed and jumped around in happiness. She could still hide everything.
"Miss Pataki?" She stopped her memory and turned back to the girl sitting at her desk.
"Yes?"
"You never told him again."
"I never could."
"Why?"
"I…I'm not sure."
"Do you think I should tell Elliot?"
"Tell him when you're ready. Not because I told you to. It was a mistake for me to not tell him again. I'm single and I'm almost 27. I'm alone and just kind of empty."
I promise I love you and everything will work out fine
"Are you ever going to tell Arnold?"
"If I see him again someday, maybe I will."
"Then maybe I'll tell Elliot, when I'm ready."
"Good. Everything will work out if you let it."
Talia got up from the seat and slung the backpack over her shoulder.
"Thank you, Miss Pataki."
"I'm always here, remember that."
The girl smiled.
"I will."
"One more thing."
Talia turned back to her teacher.
Don't try to grow up yet
Oh just give it some time
"You don't have to give up the act you have going. But maybe tone it down a little?"
She grinned.
"I can't guarantee that."
Helga laughed.
"Give it some time. You'll get used to the idea…."
Oh don't lose your passion or the fighter that's inside you
"Your poem is really good, by the way. I think you have a real talent for it."
"Thanks, Miss Pataki."
"Have a good weekend, Talia."
You're the girl I used to be
Talia walked out the door and left Helga in an empty classroom to collect her thoughts. Talia wasn't really the troublemaker that people kept claiming that she was. Talia was her; a memory of the past catching up with her.
The pissed off complicated thirteen year old me.
One version of herself that she knew she could fix.
And that is the end of Chapter 14.
Soooooo. If you don't feel like hearing about any of my stuff, scroll down a bit and you can get some story updates. Go ahead. Ignore the Italics below.
As for my stuff, I'm SO SO SORRY that I haven't been update. I mean it's been more than a month. Le gasp. But I'm in some new college clubs, being a broadcasting major and stuff, not a lot of time for writing. And if you are questioning me because I'm in a creative writing class, my answer is...I can not do two things at once. D: So I am truly sorry. My semester ends in 5 weeks and then my Christmas break will be full of updates. Enough that it will probably be almost weekly. YAYYYYY!
So if you scrolled down, shame on you. Only kidding. Story update time!
Mission Forever- About that. That will probably not continue for a LONGGGGG while. (Don't kill me!) It's just I'm not as inspired to write this one as I am/with my newer piece/Songs/IWBTCA. So I'm not sure if it will get done. Sorry fans. :\
Newer Piece- Once these five weeks are over, a short story will be going up called Fighter. Whoo. I have mentioned it before and now it's going up live. Considering that THAT is the actual piece I have been attempting to work on in creative writing. I just have to make it Hey Arnold like and then INTERNET.
Songs- This is the fun one. I have decided to hold a small contest. This next chapter will be Chapter 15. Jeeze. 15 chapters. Never thought I'd get there. But since it is 15 and my second favorite number, (My favorite number is 30, if I get to there, there will be an EVEN BIGGER CONTEST) I thought I'd hold a little writing contest. But what you win? Hmmm...if you are interested, the winner gets to write part of a short story for Songs of Hillwood with me for Chapter 15 AND gets to pick the song and get the sneak preview for next chapter! (Not stoked? Well fine, here's more.) The winner also receives a special mention in my newest piece "Fighter" with an original character that they created! (Hope that gets some interest!)
Guidelines:
You need to send me a link to the song. (You can contact me through private message here or on Tumblr. My tumblr is katehems dot Tumblr dot com)
You must also submit the lyrics to the song plus some of your writing with the song. Make your own version of Songs of Hillwood chapter and send it to me! I love commenting on other people's writing and I WILL send back comments if you want them.
You must submit your writing before the end of the month in order for it to count!
Easy enough, right? What are you waiting for? Start writing!
Hope you enjoyed chapter 14 and I hope to see some entries soon!
-Kate