The days passed on in the castle. Sometimes it bustled with life when Hange and her chosen squad for training with Eren were staying in the castle and I had my hands full with taking care of the household. Luckily I got some help during these times, Simon often volunteered to help. I could tell it wasn't just because he enjoys my company and asked him about it one time. He'd told me he used to help his mother a lot with the household since he was the oldest of three brothers and that he simply liked doing these trivial household choirs, it relaxed him. Petra helped occasionally as well but I'd noted she'd taken more and more distance from me. This became mostly noticeable when Hange and her squad had been called back to the headquarters. I was quite certain why this was but didn't bother too much with it. I was sure she would come around and tell me her feelings and thoughts in time.

It happened little over two weeks after we'd first arrived to the castle. Hanges squad had left after the dinner and I was taking care of the washing up. Petra had come into the kitchen and asked if she could help me to which I was grateful for since the piles of dirty plates, glass and other things was never-ending in my imagination. We had some small talk in the beginning; she telling me a lot about how Erens training was going both with Hange and the more regular training he was doing with them when Hange was gone. For sometime we had been silence now, concentrating of taking care of the wash up. I'd noted she'd casted me some looks the last half hour or so like she was eager to say something but just couldn't find her voice. I'd handed her a plate just a little recently to be dried up and put in it's place and when I now was about to hand her the next plate she was still stare absentmindedly at the plate in her hands.

"Petra, are you alright?" She jumped in surprise but managed to keep the plate in her hand and started to dry it off.

"I'm fine." She simply said and went to place the plate on the shelf with the other plates. I watched her as she took the other plate from my hand without looking at me.

"Are you sure? You don't look to well." Still she didn't look at me but I could see her anxiety grow. "Petra." She sighed, stopped drying the plate and looked at me with tears forming in her eyes. It was clear she fought hard to keep the tears from rolling down her cheeks.

"I just…He, he isn't just someone you're husband knew, is he?" I sighed not surprised over the question.

"Sit down. I'll make some tea and then I'll tell you everything." I said and gave her a comforting smile as I took the plate out of her hands. She looked surprised by my calmness and also a bit confused but did as she was told. I put the plate back to its place before I started with the tea. When I'd put the kettle on the stove I sat down and opposite to her. "There was never a husband." I started and she looked at me wide eyes. "That was something Erwin came up with to protect me from questions about my past or people looking down on me because of it. So I could live a simple and trouble free life, which didn't work out to well either way." I said, joking more to myself than for her. I sighed again and looked at her. "I'm from the underground city." Her eyes widened even more and her mouth open in surprise. I smiled at her reaction. "I don't know how much you know about the underground city but it's a cruel world down there. Criminal gangs rule there and if you don't get sick it's a high risk you get murdered. Women are forced into prostitution and children get orphaned and have to live on the street. But I don't really have the right to complain, I had a good life. I was raised and loved by decent parents. But when I was fifteen my family were killed. My mother had the time to tell me to hide before they came to the room where we were and she got killed. I hide in a pantry but was found by Levi. I've never been so scared in my life as when he stood there and looked down at me with those intimidating grey eyes. I thought for sure that my life was over then but then he suddenly closed the door to the pantry. He was ordered to stay behind to kill me and when the others had gone he came back. Since that day I stayed with Levi." The tea kettle whistled making Petra jump, she'd been so intently listening to me that I think she forgot about the kettle. I stood and walked over to the kettle to pour up the tea. When I placed the cup in front of her she thanked me and put her hands around the warm cup but kept starring straight forward with a questioning look on her face. "Something you wonder about?" She looked up at me, an unsure look on her face.

"Why didn't he kill you?" She asked after a few moments of silent. I smiled, taking a sip of my warm tea before I answered.
"I don't know. He never told me and I never asked. He told whoever it was that had been leading the gang that murdered my family that I was dead." I took another sip of my tea, thinking back to when I and Farlan had a conversation about this.

"So you stayed with him after that?" I put down my tea cup.

"I did. He did tell me I was free to do what I wanted and I did try to leave but fear of the unknown got to me. I'd been raised inside my grandfather's taverns, protected by his reputation and so I'd never really been introduced to what it really meant growing up and living in the underground. I had no way to protect myself or a way to make a living that wouldn't include doing unspeakable things."

"What happened then?"

"Well, I mostly took care of the household and cooked while he was out doing what he was doing. I never really involved myself in it, thinking it best not to but over the years I got to understand he was quite a notorious thug. Lucky for me that meant protection again since people knew I lived with him, most didn't dare lay a hand on me."
"Most?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. I smiled

"There was a few stupid enough to try." I lowered my eyes, watching the tea cup. "He doesn't easily scare or intimidate me but those times he does because I don't know to with lengths he'll go or if he be able to stop." Looking up at her again she watched me in calmness with a hint of sadness in her eyes. "If you don't want me to tell you more I won't." I said, sure she was hurting as she put it all together.

"No, I want to know." I nodded and continued. Telling her in summary about how Farlan became a part of our household, about Isabel, how I felt like I've gained a new family, how mine and Levis relationship slowly turned into something more, about the offer to get a citizenship at the surface and when Levi and the others got caught by the survey corps. I told her about Erwin catching me as well, my time spent at the survey corps headquarters, how I learnt about Farlan and Isabel's deaths and how finally Levi had asked of me to live on with my life without him. When I was done she just watched me in silent, tears slowly still rolling down her eyes and her breathing loud. "I…I could never have imagine." She said as she wiped her tears with her hand.

"How could you?" I said, still smiling at her. Then she looked ashamed and apologetic.

"I'm so sorry, I was stupid for thinking that you and Levi…" She silence but I knew what she had been thinking.
"It's alright. I can understand you would think that." I said, looking down at my now cold tea for a short moment before I looked up at her again. "So now you know the truth. But you can't tell anyone. Eren doesn't know and I want it to stay that way until it's necessary for him to know."

"Yes, of course. I would never." She said and managed to form a smile on her face as she nodded her head. I watched her and took a deep breath before I continued to speak since this part was hard for me.

"And I want you to continue care for and love Levi." Her eyes widened and she blushed. "I can tell you do and I hope this new knowledge about him will make you understand him better. His not easy to understand and he don't easily shows his true feelings but he cares for others in his own way. So keep on devoting yourself to him and always stay by his side." "But, what about you?" It stung a little even though I knew the question would come. Petra's brown eyes watched me with so much confusion.

"I'm happy as long someone is there for him." I told her. "When all this is over, when Erens training is over here and Trost District is rebuilt, then where is my place?" She looked at me with her mouth slightly opened and her eyes saddened. "I'm a civilian and my place is in Trost District, working in a tavern and living on wishing my foster-children don't die on their missions outside the walls and hopefully will be granted with a visit from them form time to time telling me all about their adventures." She looked so unsure and sad. "Don't worry; I want you to do this for me." She kept her expression for a moment before she smiled at me and nodded.

"I will." I smiled back at her and just seconds later the door to the kitchen opened. We both turned our heads towards the door to see no one else then Levi. He looked at the two of us and then at all the dirty plates and things that still needed to be washed. I looked at Petra for a moment and she stared at her captain with a mixture of feelings in her eyes, her mind surely full of everything I'd told her.

"What are you doing?" Irritation was clear on his voice and I turned my head back to him.

"I'm sure you're not blind to see we're having a cup of tea as we're having a conversation between women." He cast me an irritated glare which I answered with a smile. "Don't worry we're done. I'll take care of this and in the mean time you can be a gentleman and escort Petra back to her chambers." I stood, looking at Petra who'd snapped out of her thoughts and looked at me with a clear blush on her face.

"I'm sure she can make her back way by herself." Was the respond and I turned my head to Levi yet again.

"And I'm sure Eren won't turn into a ramping titan at this précis moment so the need for protecting a civilian like me is quite low." I crossed my arms, keeping my eyes on his.

"Valerie, it's alright. I can walk myself back." Petra stood with her blush still visible. I kept my eyes on Levi and at last I saw the signs of him giving in. He turned his eyes to Petra.

"I'll escort you." I smiled in triumph and Petra looked choked. She looked at me and I gave her a hug as I bid her good night and soon I was alone in the kitchen. My smile slowly faded from my lips as my breathing became shaky and tears formed in my eyes. It was better this way.