Sorry it's been awhile :P

Something I'd like to say; I've only ever been to one wedding and it was three years ago so I skipped a bunch of wedding jizz jazz in this chappie.

Oh, and if you go to my profile, I think at the bottom, there's links you can copy and paste to your web browser to see. Pic of Lindsay and Emma and stuff. Yeah.

DISCLAIMER:: TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco does not own the 39 Clues or their characters, only her own. MWAHAHAHAHAH.

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Emma's Wedding

I stubbornly pulled on my heels.

"Who the hell invented heels?!" I asked Amy and Sinead who were getting ready beside me.

"Lindsay, get out of your bitchy mood and get excited!" Amy said. "It's Emma's wedding, for God's sake!"

"Yeah, whatever."

Okay, truth time. I was really freaking excited. I was all giddy inside and stuff, but I have a reputation to maintain, so I acted like a total bitch.

"Is Emma ready yet?" Amy asked

"I don't know, ask Emma." I mumbled.

"Lindsay you're the maid of honour—" Sinead started, but I cut her off

"Yeah, yeah. Brb." I said, leaving the room.

So... The wedding is at the Cahill Mansion. The backyard, I mean. Yep, there's all chairs and flowers and jazz, along with the makeshift-alter up front. Then we are just going to have the reception at some hall downtown. Then Emma & Ham are going on a honeymoon to Hawaii. Lucky f*cks.

Amy and all them are watching Ryder and Lindsay at the mansion while Emma and Hamilton are gone. Luke, Phoenix and I are going to go back to LA for a bit, then I'm going to go back to the mansion to chill.

So I left the room and found Emma in her bedroom. She honest to God looked depressed.

"What's up?" I asked, sitting on the bed beside her.

Emma wasn't even dressed yet, and she was supposed to be out there in half an hour.

"I just... My heart is saying yes, my stomach is saying no and my brain is telling me to forget it all and go back home."

"What?!" I shrieked, jumping off the bed. I couldn't think of what to say; I was too shocked.

Emma placed her head in her hands.

"I don't understand — you love Hamilton, you have kids... Explain." I told her.

Emma stayed silent. I saw her shoulders slightly shake, as if she were silently crying.

I walked over to her window. It looked out at the backyard. Everything was set up so perfectly; the white chairs each had a silk sheet wrapped in a bow on them; there was a red carpet leading up to the alter; there was also a sort of wall of flowers behind the alter to make it look really cool. People were filing in, filling up the chairs.

I was not letting Emma mess this up.

"Come on, Emma. Time to get ready." I said, grabbing her arm. I tried to lift her up, but I hadn't exactly regained my muscles after breaking my arm, so I'm pretty weak.

Emma ripped her arm away from my grasp. "Just let me think."

"You only have twenty five minutes to think before the ceremony starts."

"I don't care."

"Okay, Emma, you've been planning the prefect wedding since you were thirteen. You finally have the perfect guy to marry and your going to flake out like that ginger — who, coincidentally, is named Emma — from Glee on her wedding day. And on that episode of Glee, the guy she was supposed to marry — Mr Schuester — was devastated when he stood at the alter for an hour before realizing she was gone. Do you want to do that to Hamilton? And knowing that dolt he'll probably go and cry himself a river like Isis did when Set killed Osiris. He'll kill himself like Romeo did when he thought Juliet left him. He'll eventually give up, just like you did on your bloody wedding day. So, unless you want a freaking Glee Club singing some cheesy get-back-together song on your front porch a few weeks from now, I suggest you get your stupid dress on, and go marry that idiot on steroids." I folded my arms and took a huge huff of breath.

I really shouldn't be, but I was seriously pissed off at Emma. She was just going to blow up her chance and a beautiful happy life.

Emma sniffled and glanced at me, tears streaking her cheeks. "Did you make that up on the spot?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Yeah."

"Well brava, then. Stay here while I go get my dress on." Emma grinned, gave me a huge hug and left the room.

I stayed frozen on the spot. That stupid lecture I just gave... Changed her mind? Oh my God. I am a miracle worker.

I did some weird handicap-sort fist pump.

I left the room and went back to the room I was original in. Amy and Sinead were talking with huge grins on their faces.

I frowned. "Hey?"

They turned their attention towards me.

"Oh, hey Lindsay. Emma told us about the speech you have her." Amy said.

"Yeah, something about Glee, Shakespeare and Egyptian Mythology...?" Sinead said, giving me a questioning look.

"It worked, didn't it?" I shot back. "Emma was near God ready to fly back to Malibu!"

"Oh my gosh, why?" Amy asked

"She was freaking out. Nothing serious. Nothing I can't handle," I stated, smirking.

Emma came back in. It honestly took her fifteen minutes to put on her dress, shoes and jewelry, do her makeup, and do her hair. What is logic.

Her dress.. Oh gosh it was beautiful. Lets try to do a brief/good description of this magnificent dress.

It was white (duh). It was strapless, and there was small silver jewels outlining the top. It was tight until about the hips, where it exploded into a magical rainbow of sincerity and fireworks.

... Erm scratch that.

It just sort of poufed out in ruffles and such.

She curled her hair and she also had on some silver bracelets and silver heels.

"Have fun walking down the stairs." I commented, giving a nice smile.

Emma flipped me the finger.

Okay so FAST FORWARD.

AAAAAND STOP.

K so we're downstairs now. Jonah, Dan and Jake are all with us. Hamilton's already at the alter and — going by superstition, I guess — he hasn't seen Emma yet before the wedding.

"Who's walking you up the aisle?" I asked Emma.

Before she could answer, an older man stepped inside. He had grey hair, and a nice smile. Who the f*ck let you in here?

"I am," The man answered. "Goodness gracious, Emma-Lea, you look amazing."

Amy, Sinead, Jonah, Jake, Dan and I all gave each other weird looks.

"Dad?!" Emma blurted, a shocked expression on her cheeks. "You.. I never even invited you! And now you show up, saying you're gonna walk me down the aisle!"

Jonah stepped up all non-macho and joined their conversation. "Wait, you're Mr Wyoming? As in, the Mr Wyoming that brutally abused Emma when she was 5-9 years old?"

This Mr Wyoming dickhead opened his mouth like he was going to reply, but I interrupted him.

"Wait, back it up a couple bus stops; you abused my best friend and I didn't even know about this?" I shouted, my temper rising.

Mr Wyoming looked down at the ground, not meeting anyone's eyes. Emma was glaring at him, though.

"I have enough permanent bruises all over my body, didn't you notice those?" Emma replied, kinda directing her anger towards her father.

"Well, kind of I guess. But I thought they were just those mysterious mystery bruises that just appear on your legs and you don't know where the hell they come from. And speaking of which I got a couple on my legs right now. But I think—"

Dan punched me in the shoulder. "There's another bruise; your welcome. Now shut up."

"Are you walking her down or not because we gotta go... Like now." Jonah stated.

Jake looked out the front window "Would you look at that? Casper, Cheyenne and some old hag sitting beside each other!"

"Hey, that old hag is my wife!" Mr Wyoming spat, pointing his finger at Jake.

Jake held up his hands in a surrendering motion.

"Okay, enough. Dad, you can walk be down the aisle, I guess." Emma decided, biting her lip nervously.

So blah blah blah entrance. Amy, Sinead and I stood in a line on one side of the alter (me in front because I'm beautiful. And also because I'm the maid of honour...) then Jake, Dan and Jonah were on the other side (Jonah in front because he's a global superstar and demanded the front. And also because he's the best man..).

Hamilton stood in the middle, a HUGE grin on his face.

So then wedding stuff happened. Sue me, but I wasn't really paying attention. I kept thinking about what upgrades I should put on my FNFAL later when Dan and I play Black Ops. Suppresser is always a good option. Maybe an Infrared Scope... Naw what about.. Flamethrower! Decisions have been decided!

"You may now kiss the bride!" Said the priest, as he closed his book.

Wait where the hell did time go? Hash tag Shortest Wedding Ceremony Everrr. Hash tag Off Guard.

Anyways so then Ham here leaned in and the crowd drew in a sharp intake of breath then Hamilton touched his lips to Emma's and the crowd exhaled in a powerful 'Aww!'

Hash tag One Sentence.

I really don't get weddings. I mean, you basically define your life after one simple kiss. A couple kisses all the time, so isn't it basically like getting married over and over again when you kiss? Who cares, I've done too much thinking for today anyways.

Emma and Hamilton walked back down the aisle and people threw flowers and sunshine and lollipops and rainbows and glitter. K, the first part was true though.

Omg. Guess what comes next.

The reception.

Hash tag TIME TO PARTAAYYY