She was silent for a minute as she rocked me, making soothing noises into my hair.
"Only you know that, baby."
"You didn't see his face, his eyes. I'm a monster!" I wailed at the memory. I couldn't bear it.
Mom clung to me tighter and whispered to me.
"No, baby, you're not a monster. You're just in love."
The word struck me, I stopped sobbing for a second in shock. Could it be true? Could I possibly love Suhail after such a short time? I sighed...I guess I already knew that. I lay back, cradled in my mother's arms, and wished I could stay here forever. Safe, and protected. She held me until I had run out of tears, until my body could shake no more.
"What kind of person does that to their best friend?" I mumbled sadly. I knew I would always hate myself for this.
My mom smiled grimly, a flash of recognition in her eyes. I looked up at her, confused. She stared straight back at me, taking my hand and inhaling deeply.
"You know that Jake and I don't age? Well, there was a time, long before you came along, when I had to make a choice. Between my own gorgeous vampire, and Jacob."
I gasped, taken aback by this admission. Jake...and mom?
"We stayed friends, but I thought I had killed Jake, that I would hate myself forever."
"So, what happened?"
She hesitated, before replying. "He imprinted on you."
At that a new wave of silent tears washed over me. I knew how strong imprinting was...would Jake ever find another soulmate?
"Does imprinting ever happen twice? What if the imprintee...doesn't..."
"I don't know, Ness," she spoke softly. "But whatever happens, it isn't your fault. We can't choose who we love, or who loves us."
"He's Jake though, Mom! He's always been MY Jake!"
"And he always will be. He's hurting, but he's not going to walk away unless you want him to. He loves you, even if it has to be as a friend."
Was it cruel of me to want Jake to stay? Would I be hurting more by making him stay, or by sending him away? I didn't know what to do, what to think. I just sat and wished this could fix itself.
"Suhail's waiting in the house...I expect he's getting anxious. It's okay to be happy, Ness." Mom kissed my forehead and helped me up. She took my hand and we walked, slowly, towards the main house.