Whoa man…shit just got reeeaaal!
THE FAERIES' RUIN…chapter 14
Setting: Haunted Woods, with our heroes (and Xandra).
Hanso (helping Brynn up): You did all this?
Xandra: Um, duuuuh.
Brynn: But why? Why would you want to destroy Faerieland?
Xandra: Okay, I'm about to do a lot of talking and none of it is really that interesting, so you might as well just scroll through it.
Author: Pfft. Yeah. Seriously.
Xandra: Faerieland was a symbol, Brynn. That's all. Symbols have power, and getting rid of that symbol is something Neopia has needed for a long, long time.
Brynn: *turns on Hanso* What is she talking about?
Hanso: *throws hands up defensively* I don't know! Bitch is crazy!
Xandra: You see everything in black and white, good and evil, right and wrong! It's not that simple, Brynn. It's never that simple.
Hanso: Yeah, there are way more colors than black and white! There's speckled, and striped, and purple, and pirate, and Halloween, and—
Xandra and Brynn: Shut up, Hanso.
Hanso: OkayI'llstopnow…*looks down*
Xandra: Ahem…now where was I?
Brynn: Monologuing.
Xandra: Oh. Right. We've been TOLD that the faeries are good and kind and care about Neopets, but do they really? What's the real truth, not just the truth that we've been made to accept?
Brynn: What do you mean? The faeries have always protected Neopia! Everything was fine until you turned them to stone!
Xandra: Oh, I knooow you did not just go there, girlfriend!
Brynn: Yeah, so what if I did? *snaps fingers*
Hanso: Cat-fight! 8D
Xandra: *points at a nearby Shadow Annihilator* You!
Annihilator: Derp?
Xandra: Bring them!
Annihilator: Herp derp. *grabs Brynn and Hanso*
(Scene changes to the group standing amidst the ruined architecture of Faerieland)
Hanso: Um, is it safe to be here? You know, what with all the flying debris and destruction and—
Xandra and Brynn: Shut up, Hanso.
Hanso: *shuts up* :-x
Xandra: Neopia will be ruled the right way this time!
Brynn: You're mad!
Hanso: More like batshit insane…*cough cough*
Brynn: A world full of soul-sucking monsters? Who would want that?
Shadow Annihilator: *sheepishly raises hand* c:
Xandra: They were never the real threat, Brynn. Those wraiths were an unanticipated side-effect of the spell that froze the faeries. Still, they have their uses. But no…what I intend is a new Neopia free from the tyranny of the faeries. A world for Neopets, ruled by a Neopet—me!
Hanso: Um…this is kind a world for Neopets. This is www.neopets.com, after all.
Xandra and Brynn: Shut UP, Hanso.
Hanso: Okay okay fiiiiiiine. *pouts*
Brynn: What tyranny are you talking about? The faeries never did anything to harm us!
Xandra: Nor did they do anything to help us! Do you know how much power the faeries have, Brynn? Do you have any idea?
Brynn: I never really thought about it, no.
Hanso: Yeah. We're not nerds, like you.
Xandra: I'll tell you what they do with their power. They make soup, they paint Neopets, but most of the time, they just sit pretty on their clouds, and they don't do anything.
Brynn: What about helping Meridell's entire population? Like Illusen?
Hanso: Or keeping Sophie out of harm's way, like Ilere?
Xandra: Buh—
Brynn: Or feeding countless poor and hungry pets, like the Soup Faerie?
Hanso: Or healing the wounded and injured, like the Healing Spring faerie?
Xandra: Well—
Brynn: Or saving Jeran when he fell off the Darigan Citadel, like Psellia?
Hanso: Or being totally cool, like Jhudora?
Xandra: That's not—
Brynn: Or training weaker pets to defend themselves, like the Battle Faerie?
Hanso: Or protecting the f&%#ing cosmos from Sloth, like the Space Faerie?
Xandra: OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH. You have a point…
Brynn: Does that mean you'll change the faeries back?
Xandra: Pfft, naaah. Don't you see, Brynn? They're brainwashed you! When I was young, the faeries noticed my magical abilities and let me come to study with them.
Brynn: Well gee, that sure was nice of them. Way to thank them by TURNING THEM TO STONE.
Xandra: You don't get it. I tried to convince them time and again to get more involved in the affairs of Neopians, but they would never listen to me. There was no reasoning with those winged tyrants, and so they had to be overthrown!
Hanso: …'winged tyrants'? You…you were Nox in disguise!
Xandra: Um, duuuh. I needed some sort of ruse to get this back. It was the best I could do on such short notice.
Hanso: Wait…so you're telling me that you paid for something you already owned? Ha. Fail.
Xandra: …#%$&!#%$, Hanso. It's hard to believe that all my careful planning was almost spoiled by one greedy, arrogant thief.
Hanso: Hey, I may be greedy, and arrogant, but I'm not—oh, no, wait, you had it right.
Xandra: *smirks*
Hanso: If that thing was such a precious, all-powerful artifact, why would you leave it lying around like that?
Xandra: Ha! This thing? All-powerful? I see why Brynn keeps you around.
Hanso: It's 'cause I'm so handsome. ;D
Brynn: *rolls eyes*
Xandra: This is a trinket. Granted, I needed it for my plan, but this and its sister artifact just amplify my magic; they aren't sources of power themselves.
Brynn: Still doesn't change the fact that you just left it lying around unprotected.
Hanso: For a handsome thief to steal. ;D
Xandra: Shush! No plot holes!
Hanso: You can't spell 'handsome' without H, A, N, S, and O! Booya!
Xandra: I'm seriously regretting letting you live.
Hanso: I'll be quiet. :c
Xandra: *holds up the two artifacts* You see, I may be the strongest magician the faeries ever took under their wings, but even I couldn't take them all on without a little help.
Hanso: Ha…"took under their wings," I see what you did there.
Xandra: *rolls her eyes* Anyway, now that I have both of them, there's no one in Neopia who cans stand in my way.
Hanso: Epic foreshadowing!
Xandra: Shut up, Hanso. You two now have a choice. I've let you live this long because I see potential in you. Otherwise, I would've done away with you like I did that boasting fool Nox.
Hanso: Wait, so…Nox is actually dead? O.O
Brynn: TNT actually put death in a plot?
Galem (from HATIC): Um, hey, yeah. I died too. :/
Bringer of Night (also from HATIC): *grunts angrily*
Coltzan: Yeah, you know, I'm not dead too, or anything.
Lord Kass: Word.
Hanso: Okay, okay, we get it.
Xandra: Hanso, you're sly, clever, and a fairly resourceful thief. I can use those qualities.
Hanso: Oh well I'm flattered—
Brynn: Hanso, you idiot, she's the enemy.
Hanso: But she gave me a compliment! D:
(Poor Hanso, you can tell he never gets them very often. Tsk tsk.)
Xandra: Brynn, you puzzled out the location of the second artifact all by yourself. I'm impressed by your tenacity. You may lack vision, but you're not the mindless grunt I took you for.
Brynn: Thank…you…?
Xandra: I'll need help rebuilding Neopia in the new image I've created for it, and that help will come from Neopets who share my vision of bettering themselves using their own strengths, not faerie blessings.
Author: Oh my Fyora is she still talking?
Xandra: So…what do you say?
Brynn: I say you're insane!
Xandra: So you've mentioned…I can't say I'm surprised. And you, Hanso?
Brynn: Of course he won't!
Hanso: Stop it, Brynn! I can speak for myself.
Xandra: Think of it, Hanso. If you help me rebuild Neopia, you'll be recognized a hero. No one will care about your past. You'll be able to reach a status you could never have under the faeries' rule!
Hanso: Recognition? What's that? I wouldn't know since NO ONE APPRECIATES ME, BRYNN.
Brynn: Buh—buh…Hanso, no! You…you can't! You can be good…you are good. I can't fight her alone! I—I need you. We have to stop her!
Hanso: You see how the others distrust me, even when all I've done is try to help. Even you…I know there have been times when you thought I was leading you astray.
Brynn: But I…
Hanso: If I help Xandra, maybe I can start over, make a good name for myself. Because in this world, I'll always just be a thief to you.
Brynn: Hanso, no! I lo—
Hanso: Locked me in a dungeon cell? Yeah, I haven't forgotten that. *shakes hands with Xandra* You've got yourself a deal.
Brynn: *jaw drops*
Xandra: Ha. Pwn.
Chapter 14, end…