Okay, so this one I'm not so sure about but the Muse wanted it written and, considering the content, keeping the characters in character is very tricky. I hope they're not too OOC… :/

Title: Boys Are the Same...

Author: Jade_Max
Characters: Captain Rex, Ahsoka Tano
Genre: Friendship / Angst
Era: The Clone Wars
Summary:Set after Episodes 10 & 11, Season 3; Ahsoka ponders her meeting with Lux Bonteri with some unexpected assistance...

Boys Are The Same...

Her Master hadn't been pleased.

A grimace crossed Ahsoka's face as she strode through the halls of the Resolute, headed for the observation deck. It was bound to be empty at this time of night and she needed a place, any place, private to think. Somewhere away from Anakin; away from his questions.

Questions about Raxus. About Padmé and their trip; about the Bonteris.

Questions that Ahsoka couldn't honestly answer just yet.

She passed through the doorway into the dark observation lounge and breathed a silent sight of relief when she found it to be empty. Ahsoka settled herself with her back to the side of the stairs leading up to the upper platform of the deck, leaning against the wall.

Lux Bonteri had been an unexpected and unwelcome surprise. Not so much because Padmé's friend had a son her own age, that she could deal with, but because she'd been thinking about him an awful lot and their parting.

The news of his mother's assassination hadn't yet fully absorbed and she unconsciously shied away from it.

Instead, she'd been thinking about the first time she'd seen him, when he'd tried to take her case at his mother's behest and the smile he'd flashed her; about the surprise she'd seen in his eyes when she'd refused. She'd been thinking about their talk in the gardens of his home, about how he'd forced her to reevaluate her stance on Separatists in the same way she'd forced him to reconsider everything he knew about Jedi.

She curled her arms around her knees, placed her chin on top and stared out the viewport.

That he'd flirted with her to do it aside, she'd seen the knowledge flash in his gaze before he'd reverted to 'teenage boy' type. He'd made her think as much as she'd made him and a part of her was proud of that; Lux couldn't consider Jedi evil the way his friends did and she was grateful.

Mostly, though, she'd been thinking about their parting; it bugged her that he'd not responded to her taunt. Irritated and confused her; why had she baited him like that only to be disappointed when he hadn't risen to it? She was a Jedi; wasn't she supposed to be above such petty nonsense?

"I thought I'd find you here."

Ahsoka jerked, her head snapping to the side to see the familiar form of the Torrent Company's commanding officer standing in the doorway. A smile blossomed on her face even though it was strained. She hadn't seen him in what seemed like forever and had felt every moment acutely; she could have used his insight on Raxus. The surge of relief at his appearance was unexpected.

"Rexster," her greeting was less than exuberant but didn't lack warmth. "Good to see you're back in one piece."

"You too, kid."

She flinched at the pet name, a reaction Ahsoka couldn't control and hadn't anticipated. She'd never minded the moniker before and she had no reason to mind it now; except she found she did.

He caught it and cocked his head to the side as he took her in. Ahsoka saw his eyebrows contract together as he stepped further into the room to get a better look at her face. What he saw made his eyes darken with concern; his expression reflecting it as he moved to take a knee beside her.

Unable to hold his gaze, hers skittered away.

"You are in one piece, aren't you?"

Turning her face away from the too perceptive clone, Ahsoka looked back to the viewport and the star field beyond and resumed her former posture. They were in orbit above Coruscant awaiting orders and Ahsoka hadn't wanted to stay at the Temple below. "More or less; I'm not the one who was off getting shot at."

"More or less?" he frowned, obviously not liking that answer. "Should I have Kix look you over, Commander?"

"No, no, nothing like that. I'm just thinking, Rex," she admitted hastily, before he took it upon himself to do just that. "It's been... interesting while you were playing special ops soldier."

"Interesting," his voice was neutral, his gaze searching her expression but unable - for once - to read it. "On Raxus with Senator Amidala?"

She glanced back his way with a grimace, not liking the even tone that could have been censure. "Does everyone know about that?"

"Just those of us General Skywalker tasked with keeping an eye on you."

Ducking her face into her arms with a groan, Ahsoka's cheeks heated. "Skyguy's way of saying he doesn't trust me anymore, I suppose?"

"His way of saying he's worried about you," Rex corrected. "May I join you?"

She shuffled over a little in acceptance and tilted her head, leaving it on her arms as she looked at him. "What about you?"

Rex settled next to her, placing his helmet on the stairs. He pulled both blasters for an easier posture and placed them nearby next to his helmet. He got comfortable, cocking one arm on a raised knee as he leaned back against the wall, before answering her, having decided before coming to look for her that he wasn't going to judge. General Skywalker could be a little... overprotective of his Padawan so Rex knew better than to take his opinions at face value.

"I don't know your side of it yet," he told her frankly. "The General seems to think it was your idea."

"Yes, 'cause I know oh so many people on the Separatist side of things."

His lips kicked into a half smile at her dry statement. "That's what I thought."

"At least you believe in me," she sighed again. "Sometimes I think my Master doesn't trust me at all."

"You're a lot like he is, kid, he - what?"

She knew he caught the flinch this time because he stopped. "Can you not call me 'kid'?"

"Sure, Commander."

"Ahsoka, Rex; please?"

"Protocol-"

"Protocol can take a long walk out a short airlock," she shot back tightly, squeezing her arms about her legs defensively. "I'm not your commanding officer right now and I certainly don't much feel like a Jedi."

He fell quiet, watching her, and Ahsoka tilted her head back to stare at the ceiling, waiting, knowing he wouldn't stay quiet for long as he assessed her with the analytical mind he applied with such devastating effectiveness on the battlefield. She wasn't disappointed when he finally spoke again.

"If you're not my Commander or a Jedi, then what are you?"

"Confused," her smile was faint, self depreciation and pained as she turned her head back his way. "A confused girl who needs her best friend more than she needs a soldier right now; I need you Rex. Not the Captain or the leader - just you." Her eyes held a plea that caught and held his. "Please? Can you do that for me?"

He searched her gaze, seeing the misery and confusion and exhaled softly. He was a goner before he even voiced an objection and didn't bother. He'd do as she asked if it would make things easier for her. "What do you need me to do?"

"Listen... just listen."

He nodded at once and they both fell silent again, Ahsoka turning her gaze back to the stars as Rex continued to watch her. As if seeing her for the first time or as if she was some kind of curiosity; one he couldn't understand. Being simply 'Ahsoka's friend' was a new role for him; it had always overlapped with the other roles in their lives.

"If you want me to listen then you need to talk." He finally urged, his tone surprisingly gentle.

"I don't know where to start," she admitted.

"How about the beginning? Unless it's not crucial I have all the facts?" his lingo made her smile; he was ever the soldier even when trying not to be. "Or maybe what brought this on."

"Which part?"

"The name thing for starters."

She grimaced. "I don't much feel like a kid?" she exhaled, frustrated with how that sounded and pushed on. "How much did Skyguy tell you about my trip with the Senator?"

"Mostly he just ranted," Rex admitted, his tone turning teasing. "Something about stubborn females wanting to fix the galaxy without any thought to their own safety and the people who worry about them."

His tease had the desired effect and Ahsoka laughed. "Something like that, huh?"

He nodded.

"Not quite how it was. Padmé - Senator Amidala - er..."

"I know who she is."

She shot him a look and continued, "-has contacts with the Separatists from before their break with the Republic. She, apparently, was friends with many of them before the war and thought we could broker a peace deal if we met face to face. With travel between Republic and Separatist worlds being illegal, she asked for my help in getting to Mandalore. From there we could switch to a transport for Separatist space."

"She used your status as a Jedi for her own devices?"

"I knew what I was doing when I agreed to it, Rex," she kept her words honest despite hearing the disapproval in his tone. "I knew what I was getting into. At least, I thought I did."

He was quiet, continuing to watch her, and Ahsoka couldn't bear to watch him watching her. She knew what came next and he was likely to be disappointed with her. She couldn't stand the thought of watching it bloom in his face and eyes; his good opinion meant a lot to her. "When we got to Raxus, Padmé introduced me to Mina Bonteri. She... wasn't what I expected."

"What did you expect?"

Blinking, Ahsoka considered the question and then shrugged. "I'm not sure. Someone like Ventress and Grievous or maybe Dooku; you know, sinister and evil looking? Slimy and evil; someone who would make everything about the Separatists I knew to be true. What I got... Mina Bonteri was cultured; classy. She had manners and poise. I guess with how we're always fighting droids, I just never really thought about the people those droids were doing the fighting for."Rex didn't comment and Ahsoka could sense without trying how badly he wanted to. "You can voice an opinion if you have one, Rex."

"You asked me to listen," he rationalized, admirably refraining from revealing his thoughts. "Somehow I don't think you discovering the Seppies are people is why you don't want me calling you kid anymore."

She exhaled loudly. "Is it written on my face or something?"

"Not as badly as you'd think. Here, I'll..." he lifted one hand, licking his thumb and making to rub something off her cheek.

She laughed, catching his wrist before he would have touched her. "Rex!"

"Just trying to help."

Shaking her head, she tugged his hand down and released it, her fingers lingering on his wrist a fraction too long - not that she noticed. Her thoughts were otherwise occupied. "I appreciate it," she acknowledged. "But you're right. Mina Bonteri, as different from everything I had envision Separatists to be, doesn't cover all the bases. She had... has a son - Lux."

Rex didn't say anything and Ahsoka didn't dare glance at him, suddenly feeling foolish for asking him to listen; it made her feel young and gauche, his 'kid' moniker suddenly seeming appropriate. Why had she ever thought that asking Rex for his help would make this easier?

Surprisingly, Rex waited - as if to see if she had more to add - and then, when she didn't speak for more than a minute, stepped boldly into the silence with an unexpected question. "How old is he?"

"My age, give or take a year," she flinched, suddenly feeling just awful for dragging him into her problems. "I'm sorry Rex, I shouldn't have-"

"Did you like him?"

The loaded question was soft, even, and dropped with the finesse of a thermal detonator explosion.

There was no way to avoid it and it brought Ahsoka's thinking back to the original line of thought she'd been considering before he'd joined her. He'd been a good listener and, frankly, there was no one she trusted more - not even her Master - so, hard as it was, she answered him honestly.

"Not in the way I think you mean," she denied, finally risking a glance at him and was relieved to see he seemed to be putting his considerable brain power to use for her. "We could be friends, I think. He... he accused the Jedi of being evil."

"What?"

"Exactly." She grinned at his offended response. "Don't worry, Rexster, I set him straight. It made me think though."

"About?"

With a wave of one hand, she indicated the ship and the stars beyond, even the planet below they couldn't see from this side of the ship. "The politics, the war... all of it. I still think the Separatists are wrong but it seems like there's a lot of miscommunication happening on both sides; it makes me feel... old."

He let the age comment slide with no more than a sharp nod of his head; that he understood. "So the Senator managed to teach you about politics after all?"

"Just not what Anakin hoped I'd learn," her shoulder slumped. "Rex?"

"Yes?"

"Have you ever... ever had a crush on someone?"

"A... crush?"

"Yeah."

"There are all sorts of bad droid jokes in there," he informed her with a shake of his head, "but I'm fairly certain that's not what you're asking."

"You know, thought about someone all the time with a little lurch in your chest? Wondered what they're doing when you're not with them; wondered if they're..." she faltered but continued, "if they're thinking about you? Worried about them when you didn't know how they were… that kind of thing."

Rex held her gaze for a heartbeat before looking away. "You have more experience with that than I do, Comma- er... Ahsoka." he corrected himself before she could, neatly sidestepping the question. "We clones are aged at an accelerated rate for warfare. We train, we sleep, we eat, we train some more; there's no room in that regime for the kind of idle fantasy you're talking about."

"Idle fantasy?" She echoed the words, amused. "Not words I'd ever thought to hear from you."

He shrugged and in that simple move she could see she made him uncomfortable with her question. Still, true to his word, he stayed where he was and tried to offer what insight he could - as her friend. "You may have noticed that the GAR doesn't exactly promote female interaction with the men," he offered by way of explanation. "We're soldiers, born and bred, and Jedi are often the only females we encounter in our short lives."

"Other than the Kaminoians."

"Right."

"But it's not the same, is it?"

There was a moment of loaded silence when she thought he wouldn't answer, but Rex was nothing if not honest; it was one of the things she liked best about him. He gave her the same courtesy she'd given him.

"No."

Ahsoka wrapped her arms about her legs again, considering his revelation and the implication, her gaze on the view port but not looking through it. Instead she watched the faint image Rex cast and trying to read his expression. "Have you ever had a crush on someone, Rex?"

His reaction surprised her, though it shouldn't have. She was making him really uncomfortable. She could hear it in his voice and saw him squirm; little more than a shift in his posture and a tensing of his muscles, but a clone-squirm none-the-less.

"I don't think I'm the right person to ask about... crushes."

Fascinated by his response, it was as neat a dodge as she'd ever heard, her curiosity came immediately to bear. He'd have simply denied it if he hadn't, so did that imply he had... or perhaps did have a crush on someone? It was enough of a curiosity to derail her thoughts about Lux.

"You have feelings like I do," she turned to look at him, an almost impish smile playing about her lips. "Unlike a Jedi who can't have attachments, there's nothing in your regulation manuals about clones and fantasies."

"You're probably wrong about that; there are regs for everything. But this wasn't about me. Do you have a... crush on this Lux kid?"

She laughed softly, but it was a hollow sound. "I don't know; maybe."

"Maybe."

With a sigh, she turned, releasing her legs and crossing them so she could face him. "I might," she hedged uncomfortably, suddenly not finding it as amusing with herself in the spotlight, nor enjoying the revelation. "I've been thinking about him a lot since I got back. Part of it is because he just lost his mother so I'm worried about him; he's all alone now."

"And you don't like that."

"Would you?"

Rex didn't say anything, seeming to understand it wasn't actually a question she expected an answer to. It wasn't as if he had any kind of gauge to measure it on anyway; he didn't have parents and so had never lost them.

Ahsoka sighed. "I keep wondering what he's going to do now that he's an orphan; if he'll be okay. I wonder if I'll ever see him again and, if I do, if it'll be in an arena where all the misconceptions I tried to break about the Jedi have only been reinforced because of his mother's death. I'm worried about him," she reiterated, "and I can't seem to think about anything else."

"There are always orphans in war and it sounds as if this Lux is better off than most."

"Well, yes but... I remember what it is to be alone in a crowd," she admitted. "Master Skywalker is the only Master I've seen that comes close to matching my own... er..."

"Exuberance?"

"That's one way of putting it; he called it recklessness."

"You're in good company."

"The best," she agreed. "And I wouldn't want it any other way but... Lux is... well, he's unlike Anakin in just about every way. Steady, solemn, direct. He doesn't hide anything about who and what he is."

"Predictable?"

"Rex!" she looked at him aghast as his eyes twinkled.

"Boring?"

"Stop that, it's not what I meant," her tone was stern. "He's very... cultured."

"Ah."

"And what does that mean?"

"Nothing," Rex assured her, his eyes dancing for a moment as if she'd just confirmed his opinion before turning serious. "Let me get this straight... Ahsoka." She smiled when he said her name and it spurred him into continuing, trying to understand her angle. "A... crush," the way he hesitated every time he said it made her smile widen, "is supposed to be a precursor to something more if it's mutual, correct?"

"Right."

"And if it's mutual," his words were slow as he considered the situation, "then the next logical step some sort of a romantic attachment."

"Right again; except Jedi can't form attachments." She made a face, her smile disappearing. "I don't even know if I want to; I don't know him that well."

"But?"

"I like Lux but there's no future in it."

"Does there always have to be?" His question was soft, his expression thoughtful and intense, as if asking something else entirely but Ahsoka didn't follow his train of thought; he guarded it carefully.

"I guess not. It's just... frustrating. I don't even know if I'll ever see him again."

His answering half smile was full of empathy even as his eyes seemed to gleam with satisfaction. "He's a Seppie, ki-... Ahsoka. Nothing good can come of it."

"I know," she sighed. "The most likely place I'll see him next is on the battlefield, right?"

"Right. It's best not to get too attached."

"Like you and your crush?"

"Unlike your little Separatist Senator," he returned with an almost feral grin of pride as he pushed to his feet, "she can take care of herself."

She laughed, delighted, and accepted the hand he held out to her, letting him pull her to her feet. "So you do have a crush."

"Based on your criteria."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I respect her because she's earned it; she's someone who's not afraid to put her life on the line for a friend and cares more about those around her than her own skin no matter that she's not the one who was born in a tank," there was an intensity to his look that she didn't fully catch or understand but there was no mistaking his implication. Or the fact he'd not released her hand. "I worry more about her safety than I do my own and often wonder what trouble she's gotten into without me to watch her back."

Her eyes widened as she put what he was saying together with what he'd already said. "Rex-"

"If that respect warrants another name," he finished with the same intensity, not letting her jump in, "label it as you like." His comlink went off, preventing her answer, and he keyed it, finally letting her go. "Rex here."

"Rex, it's Anakin; have you seen Ahsoka?"

"She's with me, sir" he told the Jedi crisply, reverting back to soldier mode without so much of a blink of an eyelid.

"Good. Join me in tactical and bring her with you; our orders just came through."

"Copy that, sir," he keyed the comlink off before sweeping down to collect his blasters and helmet, holstering his weapons with a smooth, practiced move before tucking his bucket under one arm.

"Rex, I don't-"

He turned to find her still watching him and smiled for her when she struggled to find the words. "Unlike your... crush, Commander," he motioned for her to go by him and fell into step as they exited the observation deck and out into the corridor, "I don't consider my respect for you to be a bad thing; without it, I'd never follow your more spectacular orders."

She exhaled. "I'm grateful you hold me in such high esteem, but I'm not all you think I am."

"Reality is perception; to me and the men, you are."

"I guess that's not so bad." she smiled, relieved it wouldn't cause problems between them.

"No," he was completely agreeable, though his tone implied he wasn't simply speaking about his comment as he cast her a long look; one that was full of approval. "Not bad at all."

His words rang a bell in the back of her mind even as she grinned, accepting the compliment for what it was. She was forced to deliberately ignore it, however, as they turned the corner and entered tactical where Anakin awaited them.

It wasn't until later, when Ahsoka was sliding into her cockpit and readying herself for the mission, that she realized why Rex's words had been so familiar even if her reaction had been completely opposite; they had been Lux's flirtatious words upon remarking on her Jedi 'form'.

From Rex she hadn't found the admiration childish or contrived, but honest and heartfelt. There'd been no ulterior motive in his statement; no childish urge to try and gain 'points' for idle flirtations. There'd been only honest admiration and conviction; no games.

It only reinforced her opinion as she started her systems for pre-mission check. Boys were the same be they Republic or Separatist; the honest admiration of a man was something else.

fin