ok, so this is a real short chapter but it is also not the last chapter. the last chapter will be up tomorrow, maybe, it depends how much time i have to finish it but its one of my main priorities. Thank you for all your reviews, they mean a hell of a lot to me.

Rachel frowned against the sun, trying to open her eyes but it hurt to much.

She flinched slightly when someone touched the side of her face, dragging their fingers from her cheek. After a few seconds everything came back to her. Where she was. Who she was with. What an unbelievable night she'd had.

She grinned, leaning closer to Quinn and hid her face in the shade of the blondes neck.

"Morning, love" Quinn whispered into her ear, pressing her lips against her temple.

"Morning" Rachel mumbled against Quinn's neck making the blonde smile.

"You ok?"

"Never been better. Are you?"

"Same" Quinn said, gliding her fingertip down Rachel's bare side.

"What time is it?"

"Half eight"

"We should get up and get dressed then" Rachel murmured, sitting up and grabbing her clothes.

"Last night was the best night of my life" Quinn whispered, leaning up on her elbow and ran her fingertips down Rachel's spine as the brunette pulled her pants on.

"Mine too" Rachel agreed, grinning as she pulled on her bra and shirt "I can't do I tie" Rachel said, turning to Quinn as the girl swung her legs out of the bed and pulled on a hoodie that just grazed her thighs.

"Come here" Quinn smiled, walking around the bed and pulling the tie from around Rachel's neck "It's the wrong way around for one"

Rachel smiled, watching Quinn as she looped and pulled at her tie until it was a prefect knot around her neck.

"I love you" Quinn whispered, tugging lightly on Rachel's tie.

"I love you, too"

Quinn smiled, pulling lightly on Rachel's tie until the brunettes lips were pressed against hers.

"Quinn we should get..." Puck started, walking into Quinn's room but stopped shot when he was the girls.

"Noah! Get out!" Rachel snapped, standing in front of Quinn the shield her from Puck's view.

"Right, sorry. We have to leave soon, Quinn" the boy said as he pulled the door closed.

"You're cute when you're protective" Quinn said, resting her chin on Rachel's shoulder and smiled.

"I didn't want him looking at your legs"

"You realize Puck's seen my naked before, right?"

Rachel spun around to look at Quinn "What? When!"

"When we were four" Rachel playfully glared at Quinn.

"That's not the same thing"

Quinn chuckled "I gotta get dressed"

Rachel nodded, walking past Quinn and lying back down on the bed. She was still tired which is understandable since she didn't get to sleep until about six.

"How long will it take you to get to Yale?"

"About eleven hours I think. Puck did all the research"

"Ok, you'll call me when you're there won't you?"

"Of course"

Rachel nodded against her arm, turning her head to watch Quinn as the girl pulled on a pair of pants. Rachel couldn't help her eyes from wandering over Quinn's back, wondering how it was that muscly, Quinn never worked out.

"I can feel you staring"

Rachel just hummed because she wasn't actually sure what Quinn had said.

Once Quinn was dressed she threw the rest of her things into her suitcase and headed downstairs with Rachel.

Puck took the case out of Quinn's hand and walked a little in front of them as they headed out to the truck.

Everyone was there. Santana. Marley. Even Kitty.

Quinn said by to everyone, friends and family before stopping at Rachel "I love you" Quinn said, cupping Rachel's cheeks and pulling her into a kiss.

It took every bit I control, which wasn't really all that much anymore, for Rachel to tell herself to kiss back.

"I love you, too" Rachel whispered breathlessly but not because of the kiss. She could feel it already, the dark fuzziness.

"You sure.."

"Yes, Quinn" Rachel said because she knew what Quinn was going to ask "Now go. And text me when you're there"

Quinn nodded, reluctantly getting into the car and rolling down the window "You mean everything to me, Rachel"

Rachel just nodded because knew if she opened her mouth she would cry or scream. Maybe both.

Quinn smiled one last time before Puck peeled away from the sidewalk.

"You need a ride, Rachel?" Santana asked and Rachel shook her head.

"I'm gonna walk home"

"Are you sure?"

"Yea" Rachel sad and turned before anyone could say anything.

She felt drunk walking home, not being able to remember how she'd walked the past few steps and by the time she got home she knew she was losing it.

No one was home, but she guessed she'd have to use to that. Being lonely.

The first thing she did was pick up her phone when she got home and called her sister.

"What's up, kid?"

She knew her mom dying wasn't her fault. She didn't hold the gun to her head but her dad dying was her fault and she knew that.

"Rachel?"

"You know, mom dying, that wasn't really my fault" Rachel said, her mind having no control over her body anymore as she pulled on her tie in attempt to her to off but it was just rubbing friction burns into the back of her neck "But daddy, him dying was my fault"

"Rachel? What're you talking about?"

"Do you ever wish I wasn't born? You would be an only child and daddy would be here, maybe ever mom. I'm sure you and dad would be better off if I wasn't here"

She could hear mumbling on the other end of the phone as she put it down on the table and headed into her dads room, picking up the medium size box on his bedside table and headed into the front room again.

Ellie was still calling her name on the other side of the phone but she was to far inside her head to do anything. Nothing seemed real. She could see the TV, hear the TV but it wasn't on because she didn't turn it on. And the clock, why was that so loud.

Tick. Tick. Tick

She cupped her hands over her ears before using one of them to pop the pills in the silver wrapping onto the table.

She closed her eyes, trying to drown out all the noise around her as she shakily took the pills into both of her hands and tilted her head back to help her swallow them before laying back on the sofa and closing her eyes