A/N: When was I going to update this, I bet you're all asking. Well, if you didn't know, I have just finished my first semester of college and needed some adjustment time. Also, I was slowly diverging from the Hetalia fandom but now that season 5 has a release date I've been snared back in. Awesome, right?

I was going to do Llamas with Hats 3, but I like to put different parodies in-between the major funny ones. So here's a not-so-funy-but-still-pretty-funny parody.

This is all Arthur in EDDIE IZZRD'S sketch "Do you have a flag".

Warnings: Major misplacement of the word "metaphorical" and a very wrong stereotype of India. I'm on holiday break, I don't want to do more research.

I DO NOT OWN HETALIA NOR DO I OWN ANYTHING THE BRILLANCE THAT ARE EDDIE IZZARD'S WORDS. Thank you. Please review and keep in the fandom.

Arthur leaned over the side of the ship and watched the waves slap against the planks, the thin layer of wood the only thing separating himself and the crew from life and death of drowning.

Well hadn't he gotten metaphorical lately? Arthur assumed it was because his brain had nothing else to do but to amuse itself by thinking and fantasizing to pass the time as mile after of mile of ocean passed beneath them. Where were they going anyway? He remembered being very excited on the start of the trip, but there was something about an endless nothingness that really dulled the senses.

Oh, yes, India. They were going to India. For what again? Arthur shook his head and descended below decks for some more thinking. Maybe he could come up with some more fancy words to describe his lack of remembrance on the whole thing. That would be fun.

He snorted. Yeah, right.

It was another few days – another few days of metaphorical sunsets and storms and Arthur was pretty sure that he had seen a mermaid at some point or another – before a crewman screamed out the words everyone had been metaphorically dying for: land.

It was a land like no other, much different than the England back across the ocean. It was flatter and warmer and not as green as the island he called home. And huge. Just the bay they were risking to dock in was larger than the town Arthur called home.

Men bursts from their bunks below decks the minute the ship rocked to a halt near the beach. Impatient for the dingys to carry them to land, they jumped off the side of the boat and swam to shore. Boxes, chests, and casks were ferried between the boat and the beach where they were stacked and counted and emptied. Last of call came the Union Jack.

Oh yea, that was why they had come to India. To add the land to the wonderful club called the British Empire. Being the head of this collection, Arthur assumed he should climb down to the land and have a look around himself.

As he made the last jump to the tiny boat bouncing on the small waves, the captain of the great vessel that had carried the hundreds of men months away from home sat beside him. Wasn't that daunting.

There really wasn't much to see. Or, at least Arthur didn't want to venture into the woods alone. Who knows what kind of savages lived in the twisting trees or hid in the scrabbling bushes. Mountains hid the rest of the land behind their towering bodies.

By the time he had walked the length of the beech, the crew had finished the unloading and had found a freshwater supply. Now they watched Arthur wring his hands nervously with their bushy eyebrows raised.

Arthur grasped the pole of the flag just a little bit tighter as his sweaty palms lost traction on the metal. He supposed he should do what his commanding officer done when in the last, newly gained territory. But someone had to have been watching them. Natives. Savages. Beasts. They wouldn't want their land taken so easily, and there weren't any soldiers present on the ship. Just him and a bunch of seamen.

Well then.

Arthur took a deep breath and shoved the pole into the sand. "I claim India for Great Britain!"

He held his breath. No one jumped. No one screamed. There wasn't even a rustling of the grass. Well, that hadn't been so-

"You can't do that!"

Arthur whirled to find a group of tanned skinned men jump out from the cover of trees. "We live here!"

He couldn't just kill these….natives. They'd have back-up and kill him! Something had to be done. Certainly not running and hiding as much as his gut screamed at him to do so. "W-well…I can! Because…because.."

"Because of what? There's four million of us! You can't just claim us."

Arthur gripped the flag pole a little bit harder. The flag… "D-do you have a flag?"

"What?"

"I asked, do you have a flag?"

"A what? A silly like square of colored cloth? Why would we need that?"

"No flag, no country." The crew behind Arthur chuckled. Even the gruffy old captain cracked a smile.

"Says who?"

"Says the British Empire!" And the rules he had just made up. Maybe this would work in Bermuda too.