Winter Roses

-FLASHBACK-

Alex was 21 years old when she met Kubra Balik. She'd been informed by Fahri not to speak unless spoken to and not to ask a million questions when she did get the chance to speak. The young brunette had eagerly complied, a little nervous but mostly just willing to do anything for more money. She'd been helping with the bills at home along with Nicky, but it was still difficult to make ends meet. Maybe if things went smoothly, they could get caught up and eventually she and Nicky could move out and let Diane have some peace and quiet.

The young woman followed Fahri inside a dilapidated older building, realizing upon entry that looks could be deceiving. Inside, once you got past the first two doors, the place was warm with bright lighting and expensive looking furniture and even a few pieces of art on the walls. Fahri led Alex to a leather couch and told her to sit down, that they'd be with her soon. Alex sat down and looked around at her surroundings, taking note of the large men placed in front of the 3 doors she could see, including the one she'd just come through. The men were tan skinned with dark hair and muscular builds, each one with a very obvious gun belted to their hip. They looked professional in a scary way, and it just caused Alex to be even more anxious.

The dark haired young woman decided she'd done enough looking around and settled her eyes on her hands, the anxiety tightening it's hold on her chest. Alex had been known to cause a bit of trouble in high school, but she'd never been in trouble with the law before, and here she was trying to get a job that was sketchy at best. Alex didn't know what exactly Fahri was getting her into, but she was certain that if it was legal, they wouldn't have met somewhere like this.

A door opened, and Fahri moved past one of the big body-guard types, a much taller and broader man following behind him. Alex supposed that was Kubra, with the way the atmosphere seemed to drop in temperature as soon as he'd entered the spacious room. The man had a shaved head and dark, serious eyes. He sat down in the arm chair across from Alex and lit a thick, odorous cigar. Fahri stood beside the chair and looked down at Alex, throwing her a wink and a grin.

"You're the one Fahri told me about. Alex Vause." Kubra said, a strange accent curling his words and managing to make Alex's name sound foreign.

Alex nodded, not sure what to say. She could taste stomach acid in her mouth and was afraid if she were to try to speak, she'd puke all over this imposing man's feet. Alex didn't know why she was so nervous, didn't know why she had such a bad feeling, but she ignored it as best she could. The girl fidgeted with her glasses under Kubra's intense stare.

"You're a pretty one. Boyfriend?" Kubra questioned, his lips turning up just a fraction on one side as he eyed her.

"N-no." Alex said quietly, "I'm gay."

Kubra's thick brows shot up, and he chuckled. "Even better. Nobody's got anybody like you. Quiet, shy, attractive, and a lesbian. You'll have everyone eating out of your hands, begging for more."

Alex furrowed her brows, "What am I being interviewed for?"

The bald man gave her a curious look. "You're our new delivery girl, Alex."

"Delivery?"

"But first, we should go over the rules." Kubra flicked the ashes from the tip of his cigar into a fancy, cut glass ashtray sat beside his chair on the wooden floor. "First and last, do not fuck me over. Simple, really. Second, do what I tell you to do. Third, return all your earnings to me at the end of every night and I will pay you what you deserve. Fourth, do not tell anybody about anything that has to do with this job, including my name. If you do, you will regret it."

Alex swallowed, panic starting to cause her breathing to speed up. She pushed her eyeglasses on top of her head and leant back, trying to take a deep breath. "I don't even know what this is."

"I already told you, Alex. It's your new job. I'm your boss and you do what I say, unless you want to get fired. Nobody likes getting.. Fired." Kubra remarked, taking another drag off his cigar. His eyes were cold, now. Deadly.

"I don't-"

"You'll have your own body guard near you at all times, nobody will be able to hurt you unless they've got a gun. But you'll have one, as well. You'll be taught how to use it if you don't already know. But, just as the man I pair with you will protect you, he'll protect me as well. So, if you make him think you're doing anything that could cause me or my business any harm, you will be quickly brought in to see me. Willing or not. And, to make sure that you don't go run and tell the pigs all about this, you should know that I already know where you live. I also know 2 other women live in your house. But I won't do anything to them if you follow the rules. Got it?"

Alex nodded, replacing her glasses to their usual perch and swallowing the lump in her throat. She couldn't believe what she'd managed to get herself into by simply taking a stranger's advice. Alex should've known as soon as they got to the run down building that something was wrong. She'd just been so hopeful.. Now, though, Alex was terrified of what this man was capable of doing to her family if she messed up even by accident. "Yes.."
"Good!" Kubra said around his cigar, clapping his hands together loudly and startling Alex enough to cause her to jump. "Now, for your initiation into this little crew of mine, you'll be delivering some H to one of the dirty cops at the station a few blocks over in Queens."

What little color there was drained out of Alex's face. "What?"

"That's your job, now. You're my newest drug pusher. You'll learn the in's and out's soon enough. That or get arrested. This is your first job, and it'll tell me how good you are and how quickly you'll progress, if at all. The cop'll let me know what he thinks after it's over. If you're shit, you'll get arrested and I won't have to waste anymore time on you. Remember, though. If you do get taken in, don't say a word." Kubra stated the last part with a hard voice, his calculating eyes never leaving Alex's.

xXxXx

Within 6 months, Alex was much better at selling drugs to people than she'd ever expected. She had been told by Fahri that since she was so 'quiet, good looking and shy', that Alex was the opposite of what most of the drug dealers in the area were like. It also didn't hurt that she was also a female, and a gay one, at that. All of those things, coupled with her being a fresh face in the game, meant nobody even knew to watch out for Alex, yet.

At first, Alex had been petrified. She'd managed to sell the heroin to Officer Mendez without problem, and he'd given her a long look up and down before tossing a thumbs up. After that, Alex and her newly appointed 'body guard', Oscar, had quickly headed back to Kubra. Once there, the man had informed her that Mendez had just texted him, saying that Alex had done well, but needed to work on her game face.

"You can't walk around looking like you've got a gun to your head. Nobody's got a gun to your head. If you really want out, I can make it happen. But the money doesn't get better than this for people like you." Kubra stated, knowing that if he played into Alex's desire for more in life, that she would never want to leave. He would be true to his word, though. If the young woman did decide that she wanted out, Kubra would see to it that Alex was released of her newly acquired job, on the condition that she never said anything to anyone about what she had learned. His collateral would be a threat to her family, but he had no desire to cause anyone harm unless they deserved it.

Kubra's play on Alex's most obvious desires had worked, and now that Alex had learned what to do and what not to do, she had a need to do better, be better. So, Alex did her best, and over time her ability to talk her way into and out of situations was growing rapidly. At first she'd only sold to people on her 'list', but then her 'customers' had begun racking up. Even a few here and there that used to rely on the H that the rivaling dealers for different crews sold. Alex was informed by Fahri that this was a good thing, that Kubra was pleased, but she would need to be more careful since she was becoming more well known. Alex's charm, something she'd been using since she was a child, seemed to draw people to her and while it made the girl a little anxious at first, she grew to love it.

Having people fawning over her was something Alex had experienced before, but it was different now. Now, Alex had a new sort of confidence slowly building up. She was able to go places with Kubra and Fahri and the crew that she'd never have been able to afford before. Kubra would always introduce her to people as his most promising new member. The girls would smile and flirt with her once Kubra mentioned her sexuality. Alex began going home with a new girl nearly every night after meeting Kubra and Fahri at their favorite club and handing in her earnings and the drugs she kept hidden in a special pocket on the inside of her newly purchased leather jacket. It was fine when it was just about sex, but on rare occasions one of the girls would try to 'get to know' Alex on an emotional level, but the brunette hadn't ever been good at opening up. So, she pushed thoughts of a relationship aside over and over, opting instead for lots of sex with lots of women. It felt kind of empty, but Alex continued on that way.

Half a year into it and the money Alex was making helped out at home quite a bit. Diane and Nicky both had asked her what she was doing for a job now that she'd left Red's, wondered how the heck she managed to come home with a chunk of cash every night. Alex told them she was working at a club and got paid under the table in cash and also made tips. Nicky had wanted to come see her 'at work' but Alex quickly 'informed' her that she couldn't get in without knowing the owner. Nicky had given her a suspicious look but let the subject drop. Diane wondered where Alex slept, since she was gone more often than she was home. Alex had blushed and shrugged her shoulders, avoiding her mother's eyes.

"She sleeps anywhere there's a sexy, naked, girl. Am I right?" Nicky nudged Alex's arm with her shoulder, a shit-eating grin on her face.

Alex face-palmed as Diane choked on her coffee, sputtering about how gross that was to hear about her own kid. Nicky simply burst into laughter, looking back and forth from Alex to Diane, pointing a finger like an overly enthusiastic child.

"Oh, fuck off." Alex had grinned after finally lifting her head to look at Nicky.

"Watch ya fuckin' language." Diane said seriously.

There was a long moment of silence before all 3 women began laughing loudly while sat on the 2 person love seat, eating dinner together. Their spirits had lifted since Alex had taken most of the load off their shoulders with her new job. The small house felt a little more worth all the trouble once it was easier to keep running.

-END FLASHBACK-

'I'm gonna fucking kill her,' Alex thought to herself as she trudged through the snow and people. At the moment, Alex was fuming. Her anger had completely taken over and all she could think of was going into the diner and embarrassing the absolute hell out of Red. Alex wanted to humiliate her, she wanted to slap her, and she wanted to know why the older woman always treated her so poorly as of late.

After what seemed like an hour and 5,000 miles, Alex finally reached the little diner with the bright red door and fancy gold letters. From the window she could see that it was quite busy, people bringing their family there for the holiday season to show them one of their favorite places, no doubt.

Good.

Alex shoved the door open and was spotted Red immediately, her back to Alex as she was speaking to a wealthy looking old couple. The brunette wasn't thinking clearly, all she could think of at all was how Red managed to fuck up what she had with Piper. Again.

Quickly, Alex was behind Red. She took hold of the older woman's long, white shirt sleeve and yanked on it to get her attention. Red whirled around, wide, confused eyes narrowing when she realized who it was. The couple she'd been speaking to looked startled, but were too curious to look away.

"We need to talk. Now." Alex seethed.

"Go wait in my office. I'll be there when I can." Red stated, her voice low and even. She had some idea what this could be about, but wasn't in the best situation to deal with it right at the moment.

"No, Red. Now." Alex repeated herself, hoping her eyes would burn a hole straight through the old bitch in front of her.

Red scoffed, "I'll be back there in a minute. Go." She shooed Alex like she were a stray animal, turning to apologize to her patrons.

"Goddamn it, Red! You're such a fucking bitch." Alex finally lost the barely-there cool she'd been holding onto. The tall woman had wanted to make Red feel how she had felt earlier and the time before that in September, but that all went out the window when Red had fucking shooed her. Alex shoved her glasses on top of her head and rubbed at her face in anger and even a hint of hurt. Why didn't anybody give a fuck? Why was it okay to fucking shoo her?

The whole diner had gone silent, all heads turned towards the clearly pissed off, tall brunette and the scarily silent Russian. Before anybody had time to realize what was about to happen, the sound of the slap rang loud and clear through the entire diner. There was a collective gasp and quiet murmuring.

Alex's head was still turned sideways, even nearly a full minute afterwards. She had felt the strike to her face when it had happened, but now she couldn't feel anything at all. That was the hardest Red have ever hit Alex, and she knew there had to be a perfect hand print on the side of her face. The brunette eventually met Red's eyes, still unable to feel anything physically or emotionally.

Red was in shock. She had never intended to strike Alex that hard- the blow she'd just delivered was something reserved for people she hated, not careless young women she considered her family. Even more startling was the fact that Alex hadn't retaliated at all, and was just looking at her. The stout, older woman was so focused on staring back at Alex that she didn't notice the person standing just inside the door, the person who'd come in just in time to see what had transpired.

"What the fuck!?" A voice shouted. Then, Red was being roughly shoved backwards by an angry blonde.

Alex snapped out of her daze at the sound of Piper's voice. She realized what was happening and knew she needed to get Piper away from Red before something bad happened. Alex may not have cared what would happen to her if she'd been the one to get into it with Red, but she did care about what would happen to Piper. Alex shoved her glasses back down onto the bridge of her nose. She moved quickly and wrapped an arm around Piper's waist, dragging her backwards and away from Red, who'd been backed right into the table the elderly couple was still sat in. Piper struggled against Alex, making it very difficult to keep a hold on her.

The blonde only stopped struggling once she'd managed to get close enough again to give Red a taste of how it felt to be hit in the face. The slap was a little off kilter and less hard than Piper would have preferred, but she had certainly made contact, and everyone knew it. Everyone including Red's youngest son, who was making his way towards the scene at a threatening pace, a look of confused anger masking his face.

"How does that feel?" Piper growled, "Huh?"

"Let's go. Piper, we have to go." Alex said, pulling the blonde away much more easily this time.

Piper gave Red one last lingering death glare before finally following Alex right back out the door they'd just come through. Once outside, Alex didn't release Piper's hand, but instead began to drag her down a side street and away from where most of the people were walking. The blonde followed her silently, still so very pissed off that she was shaking.

The blue eyed woman had quickly realized what might happen when she'd told Alex to go home not even an hour ago. She'd gotten dressed right after she heard her door close and then dressed at a record pace. She had then ran to the elevator, hoping against hope that it'd get to the ground floor before Alex did. She'd still ended up behind the brunette, though, and had followed closely behind her to the little Russian diner, entering just in time to witness Alex get the ever-loving hell slapped out of her. Seeing that had made something primal snap deep inside Piper, and she'd simply reacted.

Now, Alex was leading her further and further away from any sign of the crowded streets and Piper didn't know where they were going, but she couldn't quite bring herself to care. Her heart was still racing and Piper had a feeling it might explode.

Eventually, Alex stopped walking, but still didn't let go of Piper's hand. Instead, she laced their fingers and looked up at the night sky, taking note of all the millions of snowflakes still drifting downwards. After a while, Alex looked at Piper.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you, earlier. I didn't even really mean to.. I just.." Alex sighed and ran the middle finger of her free hand over her bottom lip, "Sometimes I can't help it. I just get mad or sad or happy or numb and I can't do anything about it. It's like I'll know, right? I'll know I shouldn't talk because I'm gonna say the wrong thing because my fuckin' moods switch faster than even I can keep up with. But the mood is all I can feel and it fucks with all the thoughts in my head. Earlier it was just very quickly anger that took over and when that happens I always get royally pissed off at even the smallest things. You asked me that question and I got mad. I'm sorry."

Piper just stared at Alex, amazed that Alex was actually opening up to her.

"You're just staring at me. Jesus, I'm sooo not good at this. Did any of that even make sense? I'm trying. I said I would try." Alex nodded to herself before looking back at Piper, taking note of the smile that was starting to spread across her lips.

"Thank you for trying. It does make sense." Piper replied. "How is your face? I can't see it in the dark very well."

Alex absentmindedly ran her fingers over where she'd been slapped. "It burns. Not something that I haven't dealt with before, though.."

"How are you?" Piper questioned, glad that her nerves had started to calm down again.

Alex shook her head, "I don't wanna.. I mean.. Can we talk about it later? Will there even be a later? I don't know where we stand."

Piper pulled Alex into a strong embrace. "Of course there will be a later. We both reacted badly, baby. I'm sorry, too."

Alex released a deep sigh and rested her head on Piper's shoulder, closing her eyes and snuggling her face into the crook of her girlfriend's neck. They stood like that in a dark alleyway for several moments, swaying back and forth in the loud city night with snow falling heavily around and on top of them. Alex knew the emotion she was feeling right now, so heavy in her veins it almost hurt. She decided then that she wanted Piper to know how she felt.

"I love you, ya know." Alex whispered, kissing Piper's jaw.

xXxXx

A/N: Please review and let me know what you think. -SK