Saiyan Jabs

Author: Edward Tudor

Rating: K+ to M

Warnings: Yaoi, homosexuality, m-preg, AU, crossdressing, etc, etc; you HAVE been warned

Summary: Quick one-shot stories randomly written prompted by one word. Goku/Vegeta only (seme/uke)

Bunnies

T

He sighed as he watched his children frolic happily in their backyard. They sped across the yard; little stubby legs powering their small bodies as they tried to run and avoid 'it' in a game of tag. Six brown tails wagging in happiness, making Vegeta's own tail curl in delight at seeing the smiles on their faces.

"Hey, love," his mate called. "I got you the food you wanted." Vegeta sat up a little straighter in his rocking chair and eagerly looked over the food on the tray. A pile of tacos filled with different types of beans and a large bowl of bean soup. He made a quick grab for the first taco as Goku put the tray down, savoring the taste of meat, lettuce and lots of beans.

Goku chuckled.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say that little tyke in there wanted to kill me."

"Hmmph!" he huffed. "Beans don't affect a Saiyan like they do a human. We get gassy, yes, but it's always from the top end. I'll probably just be burping tunes to amuse the children." Goku laughed at that.

"They'll love that! Firm and controlled mama belching like papa? They'll never let you live it down!"

"Of course they will," he smirked. "Because they're my children, so I'll have a lot more dirt on them when they grow up." Goku just shook his head in sympathy for the boys'.

"And I always wondered where Kabocha got it from." Vegeta smiled as he leaned up and gave him a peck on his lips as thanks. Goku, as always, beamed like the sun and eagerly sat in the chair next to his mate.

Vegeta sighed as he watched their children gather together to change the game from tag to hide-and-seek. In a way, despite being thrilled at having such a large and flourishing family, he couldn't help but also worry if maybe it wasn't too much.

Zukkini was their eldest at eight years old. He looked more like Goku, and would probably grow to the height of his papa, but his eyes were definitely that of Vegeta. Kabocha was the second child at six years old. He had Vegeta's hair but their papa's features. Nira and Wakegi, the only twins in the family, were four years old and little Vegeta clones. They were as naughty as Goten and Trunks once were and Vegeta could only imagine the trouble they'd get into when they were older! Abokado was three years old and, oddly enough, despite having Goku's hair and Vegeta features, was very protective of the youngest, Jagaimo, who was only two. Jagaimo was the only child in their little flock who had been born Super Saiyan and stayed Super Saiyan. He stood out quite a bit with his blonde hair and glowing seafoam eyes, but none of the other children thought much of it. He supposed Abokado was only protective of him because everyone else had a pair. Zukkini and Kabocha were very close, and the twins naturally so.

His smile faded a bit as he realised that within eight years they already had six children. Six children! It wasn't that Vegeta had anything against having a large family; he was actually very happy. But right then he felt rather…whorish.

Goku noticed the drop in mood and was instantly by his side.

"What's wrong, love? The little one decide that beans aren't what he really wants?"

"Oh no, he still wants beans, the Moyashi," he muttered. "I just…it's just the hormones."

"Well, tell me anyways. I want to make you feel better."

Vegeta sighed.

"You know, Kakarot, that in the last eight years we've had six children?" Goku nodded, but Vegeta could see he didn't know where this was going. "Which means I've spent more than two third of those years either being pregnant or getting pregnant again! I'm starting to feel like those lettuce-scoffing fluff balls who are always constantly mating and popping out hordes of infants!"

"You mean bunnies?"

"Yes! I feel like a female one! I'm not blaming you or insinuating that we're having too much sex, but I don't like the idea that if I'm not carrying an infant, I'm spending most of my time between caring for my current children and lying on my back making a new one!"

He huffed and felt quite silly despite still feeling annoyed. It was the one downside of being pregnant; his moods and thoughts fluctuated so no one knew when he was going to be okay or upset or suddenly decide to go on a murderous rampage.

"I understand how you must feel, love," Goku said, hugging him to show he was listening. "Maybe we are a little like bunnies, you know? I can't help but think how gorgeous you are and I always want to show you that. But we can work this out. If you don't want to have any more children, we can work it out."

"It's not that I don't want to have any more children, but more that I think we're having too many too fast. Not that I'm not happy with our brood," he amended. "But…"

"No, I get it. Too much, too soon."

"I want lots of kids, just within a four to seven age gap between."

"I understand, and it makes sense. Truth be told, I was also getting a little worried about you, lately. You've been carrying a child nearly every year I'm scared that it's taking a lot out of you. No doubt you're very strong, Vegeta, but…"

"No, that's being going through my mind, too."

They paused, each silent as they thought.

"We are a little like bunnies, huh?" Goku sighed.

"Yes, we are."

"Well, how about this? Tonight, once all those little miscreants have been put to bed, we can talk about how we can prevent any other unplanned pregnancies."

"Mmm," Vegeta nodded, stroking his rounded belly. "That would be a good idea. I'd like my children to see me as a mama in full Saiyan glory rather than a mama who constantly pushes out siblings." Goku chuckled.

"I doubt they see it like that, but okay." He paused and glanced at the rounded belly. "So, what are we naming this little one? It's just another two months and then he'll be due."

"Mmm, I just hope he's not like Kabocha and the twins. They all came two weeks too early!"

"That's because they're just like you! I bet they were thinking they spent too much time in mama's tummy and wanted out so they could do things themselves."

"Well, Zukkini and Abokado were just like you! Late!"

"Hey, what can I say? They must have loved being in you as much as I do." He chuckled.

"Lecher!" he tsked. "Jagaimo was the only one who was on time. At least I can say one of my children was punctual."

"He's got a lot of consideration for his mama," Goku agreed. "Even when he makes a mess in his nappy, he'll only cry once you're done with whatever you're doing. He's a very bright boy."

"He is, isn't he?" Vegeta paused. "Moyashi."

"What?"

"I was thinking this one should be called Moyashi."

Vegeta turned to find his mate staring at him, looking a little horrified.

"You can't call him that!"

"Why the hell not?"

"Well, he's going to grow up one day, isn't he?" he reasoned. "I don't think anyone would like to be called a bean sprout! He may end up as large as me!"

"And if he's my size?"

"Would you like to be called something so cutesy?"

Vegeta thought for a second and realised his mate was right. But he didn't want to give up on the name. He named all his children after what they made him crave. He felt it was something of a revenge for allowing them to control his eating habits for nine months.

"Mame, then."

"Mame?" Goku paused and thought. "Yeah…yeah, Mame sounds alright."

Vegeta smiled as he returned to his taco, mood abated and greedily biting into the corn shell. So maybe they were like bunnies. At least these bunnies knew when to stop.

AN: absolutely the worst ending, I know.

Oh, and these are the meanings of their kids names.

Zukkini – zucchini

Kabocha – pumpkin

Nira and Wakegi – both mean spring onions

Abokado – avocado

Jagaimo – potato

Moyashi – beansprout

Mame – beans

Jagaimo is a veggie Hetalia:Axis Power fans should be familiar with, considering Lovino calls Ludwig this every time Feliciano tells him about 'Doitsu' and Moyashi -should be familiar with D-Grayman fans.