Eggs Benedict

Jacob and I stayed in bed naked for the next few hours- talking, laughing, touching, kissing. It felt so….natural, so easy. Like when Jacob and I first started hanging out, before he became a member of the pack. Of course, that was after I decided that I was going to conveniently forget about what I was doing to Edward for the time being. What was done was done, I thought, it was too late now, blah, blah, blah- it was amazing what I could say to try to justify my behavior. I managed to somehow convince myself that I should enjoy this time with Jacob, because who knew what was going to happen in the future. I refused to think beyond the moment.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. I caught more than just a glimpse of what my future would have been if I had chosen Jacob. Unlike during our first real kiss, where I just saw mental images, a series of snapshots, I felt now like I was living it- like the camcorder was rolling. It was almost as if we were playing some crazy game of house, or acting in a dress rehearsal. It felt real and imaginary at the same time.

I'm not sure what prompted the realization- watching Jacob working with his hands, delicately crafting another carved wooden charm in my bed while I read; seeing him sneak a grin at me, lighting up his face and my heart- but it some point, the realization hit, and it almost knocked me over. My heart is still beating. I could still choose Jacob.

"Bella?" Jacob's voice attempted to pull me out of my inner battle with myself. "Are you all right? What are you thinking about?" His arm reached out and he gently closed his hand over mine.

"Um, not much," I said quickly, trying to come back down to Earth. "Are you all right?" I asked reflexively.

Don't be ridiculous, Bella, I scolded myself. You're married, don't you remember?

Jake grinned again. "I just spent two nights in a row with the most incredible woman that I know," he replied huskily. "And I still have her naked in her bed. I'd say I'm doing pretty phenomenal." His voice cracked with excitement. He looked down, embarrassed. The cocky part of his personality had vanished in the last couple of days- he seemed to realize how tenuous our being together was- and I'm guessing he didn't want to screw it up. He was my Jacob.

Of course I remember, but people get annulments. They even get divorced. Look at my parents, for crying out loud.

I had to smile at his enthusiasm, embarrassment. I couldn't help it. "Me, too," I said. Didn't you mean your vows? Don't you want to be with Edward forever?

Things have changed. Edward lied to me. And I want to be with Edward, but being with Jacob right now feels...perfect, too.

My inner dialogue continued, despite all attempts to quiet the voices. I felt the little Bella devil and little Bella angel that were hovering over my shoulders conversing. "Don't you think that Edward being gone has something to do with you feeling this way? How would you feel if he was here?".... "Maybe space is what I need. Besides, I've known that I've loved Jacob for a while now".... "Then how could you marry Edward?" Honestly, it was enough to cause a person to have a nervous breakdown.

Early that afternoon, Jacob had to return to La Push to scout the Quileute lines and talk to Sam. Not wanting to be left alone for an extended period of time with my thoughts, afraid that they would take over and I would develop schizophrenia or multiple personality disorder within a single day, I begged to go with him. Charlie was still out fishing; I made sure to write a note to him as we headed out the door. Jacob drove the Guardian.

When we got to the reservation, Jacob quickly left to go take care of business, promising he would be back as soon as he could. Billy wasn't there; I had the place to myself. I debated going for a walk on La Push beach, then quickly reconsidered. Too quiet. Instead, I went and turned on the TV, flipped through the channels, settled on Emeril. I turned the volume up, trying to drown out my own thoughts. Bam! If Emeril couldn't do it, then nothing could.

Ironically enough, a few minutes into the show I realized I had seen it before- Emeril was making his version of Eggs Benedict. That I had already seen it was not unusual; they showed reruns all the time, and I watched the shows pretty often, trying my best to translate the gourmet cuisine I saw on the TV into easy dinner recipes for Charlie. But what was funny was that it was one of the shows that I watched in this very living room, the day that Jacob first told me that he was in love with me. He had kissed me hard, not allowing me to protest, and I had punched him with everything I had. My, how things have changed. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Jacob returned a few minutes later, grumbling about pack responsibilities. Apparently Sam had roped him into attending some pack functions- something about some other tribes visiting or something. I don't know. I tuned him out about the details. All I paid attention to was that Jacob was going to be busy in a couple of days- that we would be separated. "Bella, Edward is going to be back before then anyway, aren't you going to want to spend some time with him? Talk to him perhaps?" the Bella angel reminded me. Yeah, Yeah.

Also sensing that time was going to be a factor, and that we better make the most of our limited time together, Jacob asked me what I wanted to do next. "As long as you don't say cliff diving, honey," he specified with a grin.

"Um, we could go out to the garage. I saw that you were working on a new bike," I suggested.

"The garage, huh?" He raised an eyebrow and gave me a flirtatious look, his full lips pouty, before giving me a mischievous smile.

Oh, yeah, that's right. The garage. I had momentarily forgotten what had happened there the night before last. The kiss that had kicked everything off. The memory made my temperature rise just a bit. I looked awkwardly to the ground.

Jacob's kiss caught me by surprise; my eyes had still been focused downward. The first thing I felt was warmth, heat. On my lips, encircling my waist. The heat spread through me like a brushfire. From his jawline to my chin. From his torso to my chest. From his powerful arms and hands to my body, as they moved all over my back, dipped down to my butt, came back up to rest on my hips. By the time the kiss ended, I was sweaty, gasping for breath, and my heart was pounding erratically. "Or," I whispered, "We could just go straight to your bedroom." I blushed, my cheeks turning even more crimson. I slapped my hand to my mouth. I couldn't believe I just said that.

Jacob didn't say a word. Staring at me, he slowly reached for my hand that was still at my mouth, kissed it. Taking my hand in both of his, keeping his eyes locked on mine, he started walking backwards slowly toward his bedroom, gently leading me through the house. I marveled at his coordination- walking backwards without looking and managing not to trip over anything. The intensity of the look in his dark eyes almost frightened me. Almost. Wow. It was the sexiest look I had ever seen.

Jacob finished leading me to his bedroom, slowly shut the door. We stayed in there for the next eighteen hours.

I woke up the next morning with butterflies in my stomach. As mush as I wished I could say I woke up feeling even more relaxed than the morning before, I just couldn't. My first thought: Edward will be back tonight.

My second thought: God, I'm ravenous. I need food. I hadn't eaten since lunch the previous day- Jacob and I had been in his bedroom since mid-afternoon. We hadn't emerged for dinner. Needless to say, those two thoughts had my stomach all but doing cartwheels.

Using all my strength, I lifted Jacob's smoldering arm from around me and got up. I threw on my clothes from the previous day; got myself presentable. I headed downstairs to make some breakfast, hoping against hope that Jake and I were still unsupervised. No such luck.

Billy was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. He looked up at me knowingly and gave me a sly smile. "Well, good morning, Bella," he said.

This was too embarrassing. I was tempted to turn and run back into Jake's room. Unfortunately, my digestive system simply would not allow it. My stomach protested loudly.

"Bella, you sound famished. Help yourself to whatever you want in the fridge," Billy gestured to the kitchen. "And feel free to use whatever you find in here to whip yourself up a masterpiece. In fact, I'll have some of whatever you make, as well, if you don't mind." He paused for a moment, cleared his throat. "Oh, and Charlie called looking for you last night. I told him that you weren't feeling well and that I wouldn't let you leave; said you went to bed early. I'm sure that's why Jacob's bedroom door was closed for so long last night. Right, Bella?"

"Oh, r- r- r-ight," I stammered. I hesitated, trying to decipher Billy's message. It sounded like a bribe- make him some good food and he'll cover for you. I slowly approached the fridge, opened it, poked around. Not a lot of ingredients, but enough to get me started on something- and I could always send Jake out to get some stuff- he could make it to a grocery store and back in no time. This was important. But what to make? A light clicked on. "How about some Eggs Benedict? And home fries?" I asked, almost pleaded.

Billy had an expression on his face for a moment that was absolutely impossible to read. I held my breath. After a moment, he let his face go into a wide grin. "Sounds fantastic."

I heaved a sigh of relief; started removing some things from the refrigerator- eggs, cheese, potatoes, when I heard Billy's voice again. "Bella?" I looked up at him; he was looking straight at me with knowing and powerful eyes. It was intimidating- I almost dropped the eggs.

"Yes?" I whispered.

"Jacob loves you so much. Take care of him, will you?"

I gulped, nodded. It took me a minute to make sure my voice was strong enough. "I love him, too, Billy. I will." I tried to sound convincing. The first part- I meant it. The second- I just didn't know.