"You better not take forever!" Rahul screamed. "Battle timer is on! Inactive players will be automatically lose the match!"
"What are you talking about?" Alex asked.
"I don't want this to take forever. It's my request," replied Rahul proudly. He slapped his belly, and Ryan thought he had never looked more like a Snorlax than at that moment.
"Alright."
Out went Alex's Starmie from its Pokeball. Rahul's Kadabra went flying out of his Pokeball as well.
"Whoa, Abra, look, it's your papa!" Ryan proclaimed carelessly, patting his Abra on the head.
"Bra rah!" Abra grunted, his eyes moving back and forth with great suspicion. "Rah, rah, abra, abra rah! Bra, abra. Rah. Rah, abra, abra, rah, bra, abra! Abra!"
Luckily for us, no one knows how to translate Abra's language.
"Alright Shuriken," Alex said in a low rumble, "use Blizzard."
"Thunder Wave!" Rahul roared like an Entei in heat.
Ryan watched as the Starmie's attack missed, and the Kadabra's attack hit, paralyzing the Starmie.
"Ah, RNGesus," Alex said and no one paid attention to what he said. It was great.
"Thunder Punch," Rahul stated calmly.
"Blizzard again!"
This time, both attacks hit, dealing a multitude of damage to both Pokemon. Ryan wondered who would die first. It was truly suspenseful. He grabbed a bucket of popcorn from his backpack and started munching on it hastily.
"Whoa, who do you think will win?" he asked Kelly, who was standing nearby.
"Rahul has only three badges," Kelly reminded Ryan. "I'm not sure he can win. His Pokemon probably aren't at high enough levels."
"Come on Kelly, believe in the big man. Rahul is awesome. Plus we have no idea what his full team is, since we've never seen him do a battle like this. In fact, we don't know pretty much anything about him 'cept he's awesome."
And Kelly, bless her pink hair, could not offer any counter to such a logical statement.
"Shuriken return!" Alex said, throwing a different Pokeball. "Go, Mahogany!"
"Thunder Punch!" screamed Rahul.
The aforementioned Thunder Punch hit Mahogany, who Ryan's Pokedex told him was an Exeggutor. The attack did very little damage, though it did paralyze the poor plant-egg-thing. Who the heck would make a Pokemon look like that? You would have to drink an insane amount of orange juice to think that eggs evolve into a palm tree. I mean seriously, it was one of the first 151 Pokemon and you're telling me that they already ran out of interesting ideas for Pokemon? This guy looks like he should be coming from the 600s at the very least. Someone probably just gave the Pokemon creators a bunch of eggs, and their first thought was that eggs become palm trees, and I don't know why anyone would think that.
Seeing his attack missed, Rahul became distressed. "Kadabra, return! Go Dragonair!"
"Sleep Powder!" Alex ordered Mahogany.
"Dragonair, use Toxic!" Rahul commanded.
The attack failed, yet somehow Mahogany was still paralyzed. Amazing how Pokemon physics work sometimes, especially in gen 1. Mahogany, the poor guy, was unable to follow up with an attack of his own. Dragonair then used an Ice Beam, which was super effective to the palm tree wannabe, and Mahogany once again used the Sleep Powder move. Dragonair fell asleep, bless its heart, but woke up the very next turn after taking a devastating Psychic attack! Wow, what a move! Alex twirled when he saw the attack hit, so sure was he that victory was in his grasp. He almost busted out the yo-yos at that point. Almost.
"Come back, Mahogany!" Alex ordered. "Go Incinerator!"
A Charmeleon went flying out into the battlefield, only to be met by an Ice Beam. Due to the undeniable power of the old gods of Alex's homeland, Incinerator managed to survive the devastating hit.
"Body Slam!" grunted Alex. The attack did decent damage to the Dragonair, though it was nothing to write home about.
"Surf!" ordered Rahul. Somehow, the Surf attack, despite being even more devastating than the Ice Beam attack, didn't take out the Charmeleon. "Wait, how is he not knocked out?!" Rahul yelled. "Surf should easily take out a Fire Pokemon! Are you kidding me?!"
No one said a thing to him, though Ryan reflexively patted his own belly.
"What do you think?" Ryan asked Kelly.
"Alex is by far the superior trainer. His Pokemon are stronger, and he's spent more time with them, learning their movesets and styles," she noted. "Rahul has only three badges. He's not experienced enough. This Alex kid is a far smarter trainer too, and he's outplaying Rahul. It's not just that his Pokemon are stronger, but his strategy is far better than Rahul's. He's anticipating Rahul's moves, whereas Rahul isn't capable of such advanced thinking."
"I bet that's because they know each other!" Ryan chimed in.
Kelly shook her head, annoyed. "You could learn a lot from Alex."
"So could you!"
"I have seven badges, and I'm about to get my eighth," the pink-haired girl contended. "I'm far better at this than any of you three."
"Oh yeah? I bet I could beat you right now! What do you think, Abra?"
"Bra."
"Darn right!" Ryan replied.
"Please, there's no way I'm going to fight you. I'll leave you here before that happens."
"B-but why?!" Ryan's face fell.
"There's already a battle going on. It's too difficult for the readers to keep track of two battles going on at once. Plus, I need my Pokemon healthy for the trek through Viridian Forest."
"Curses!" Ryan said, shaking his fist at the sky, causing Abra to fall off of him. As he looked down and saw Abra lying in the grass, the weeds around him, Ryan thought that the little Pokemon looked just like Santa Claus, and that made him feel okay again.
Regardless, back in the actual battle, Rahul used Surf again, causing Incinerator to faint. It was a crucial knockout, Ryan thought. Since Rahul got the first knockout, the good Ryan thought that there was no way the big man could lose now. He felt like busting out the sparklers for such a momentous occasion. His good friend with the goatee of a god was about to win.
Alex sent out Shuriken again, who was met with a devastating Thunderbolt attack. It was super effective, wow! But, Shuriken had a card up its sleeve as well - the oft used Blizzard. This time, the attack hit, and Dragonair fainted. A stunning turn of events in Ryan's eyes! But then, Rahul brought back out his Kadabra, who used Thunder Punch again. This time, Shuriken the Starmie was dealt with and bam, bam, bam, it fainted. Ryan thought he saw a tear come to Alex's eye then, for Starmie is one of his most favorite Pokemon ever. Then, Alex took out his Tauros, whom he called Robbie Jr., ("Hey, I have one of those!" Ryan told Kelly, who seemed to not hear him) and wrecked the Kadabra with a Hyper Beam like a durian in a meat shredder. At that point, Rahul took out his Lapras, a Pokemon Ryan had never seen nor heard of before, and had Dexy not confirmed it to be a real Pokemon, Ryan would not have believed his eyes. It was crazy how there were Pokemon in his own region that Ryan did not immediately recognize, but he dared not tell Kelly this, for she would have only called him stupid again had he revealed that fact to her, and he didn't like her when she was being mean to him.
Then, Alex sent out his Jolteon, named Snuggly (and this made Ryan think that perhaps Alex is a fairy, but more on that in chapter 23). This scared the heck out of Rahul, who squealed, jumped up in the air, and stroked his beard ferociously, before withdrawing Lapras, and sending out his Rhyhorn. However, Alex seemed to have anticipated this, for he had his Snuggly-pooh use Double Kick instead of the expected electric attack. It was incredible! A super effective attack! Wow!
Rahul ordered his Rhyhorn to use Earthquake, but Alex withdrew his Snuggly and sent Mahogany the palm tree out again.
"Don't let your eggs get cracked!" Ryan shouted to much fanfare from Abra. Neither Alex nor Rahul seemed to hear him, as the two were busy twirling and grunting about like a couple of circus bears on lunch break.
What happened next still haunts Rahul to this day. If one brings up the next battle, Rahul will throw curry at them or try to end the Skype call faster than Roger Goodell can play the xylophone (that dude can play the spoons like it's nobody's business - he's like a centipede who's eaten a couple hard candies). Suffice to say, the next battle did happen, regardless of Rahul's feelings about it, and though one must cry oneself to sleep just thinking about it, the fight must still be documented for posterity's sake. Rahul then switched out his Rhydon for his Magneton, his most treasured Pokemon, and one he actually thinks is a good Pokemon in gen 1 physics. Mahogany used Mega Drain then, to which Rahul's Magneton had no answer. Then Mahogany did it again (Alex is a classic spammer, which is also seen with his younger brothers when they like to spam Meta Knight against me, and I will never forgive Zach and Robbie Sr. for doing so (this is why Dean is my favorite to this day)). Then, Magneton tried to use Supersonic, but the attack missed. Rahul must've nearly ripped off his wife-beater at that turn of events. Then Mahogany put the big man's Magneton to sleep with Sleep Powder. Stunning finish I say, as any soccer commentator would say. The Mahogany used Mega Drain and Psychic for good measure, nearly wiping Magneton, Rahul's prized Pokemon, off of the face of the Kanto region.
"Oh my god," Rahul said in disgust. "How is this happening?"
Then Magneton woke up. It used a Thunder, which though it paralyzed the Exeggutor, was not a very effective attack.
"Gotta use Mega Drain again," Alex said out loud. "Spam, spam, spam, yo. Gotta make my brothers proud."
"Gotta go faster, faster," Ryan sang tunelessly in response. Abra barked at him for such an atrocious showing, and the boy blushed and didn't sing no more, no more.
Rahul didn't seem to learn from his last attack and used Thunder again. It wasn't super effective this time either, wow! And Mahogany used another Mega Drain. Sadly, for all of us readers, Mahogany was paralyzed by this attack, which prolonged this fight by at least two turns.
"Man, this is horrible," Ryan commented. "They are just using the same attacks over and over again. What the heck? I didn't pay to see none of this jive nonsense!" The boy threw his popcorn down in disgust. Abra, shocked by Ryan's wanton mishandling of the popcorn, teleported to the ground and grabbed a couple of pieces before teleporting back to his master's shoulder.
Rahul tried to use the non-effective Thunder again. But his Magneton's attack missed. Then, Mahogany's move finally went through, and surprise, surprise it was another Mega Drain. Everyone applaud this masterful effort, please, for Magneton was at last dealt with, and this long, horrible, boring battle was mercifully brought to an end. Praise Gooby.
"Go Charizard," Rahul said.
"Return, Mahogany," Alex replied. "Go Meteor," the boy said, sending out his powerful Golem.
"Fire Blast," Rahul ordered his Charizard.
But the attack was not very effective, alas. This fight just won't end, Ryan thought. Six vs. six is a long, long battle. It takes forever and ever and ever and man we're like 1600 words in, and turns like this are not helping.
"Charizard, Fly!"
"Rock Slide, Meteor!"
Alas again, the Rock Slide attack missed, prolonging this fight further. Ryan looked at the non-existent watch on his left hand. "Hey, do you want to go to Viridian City now?" he asked Kelly.
"We could," Kelly said cautiously, "but Rahul will whine and chase us down and it'll be horrible if we leave. Besides, the fight is almost over. Rahul is definitely losing."
"But he's such a guy…" Ryan muttered sadly. "I always want him to do good because he's so nice to me and has some rocking facial hair. But he does bring this upon himself."
As all of that was irrelevant, Kelly did not reply.
Then, Charizard used a Fly attack again. As expected, it wasn't very effective. It was as if Rahul didn't know which moves were effective against his opponent's Pokemon. Then, Meteor used Rock Slide again, and this time, through the power of magic, the Charizard was knocked unconscious! Such a super attack. Ryan nearly cried it was so beautiful to watch the Charizard get taken out by a single attack.
"Go Rhyhorn!" said Rahul, throwing another Pokeball.
"Earthquake, Meteor!" Alex commanded.
The Earthquake took out Rhyhorn in a single attack. Even Abra jumped and shouted in with pleasure at this. Popcorn ran down his face in buttery chunks, so hysterical was the little Pokemon. Ryan had to calm him down and remind Abra that this was just a game, that this was just a Pokemon battle. It wasn't real life, no matter how much Alex and Rahul wanted it to be.
Rahul remained calm, even in the face of sure defeat. "Go Lapras! Use Ice Beam!"
The Golem absorbed the attack before he could render an attack of his own, and fainted from the sheer power of it.
"Go Snuggly!" Alex shouted. "Let's end this."
"Bra, abra, rah, rah, rah!" Abra shouted. Clearly, he wanted this fight to end too. Like any good game of monopoly, this fight had been over after about five minutes in, and the slow defeat of Rahul had been quite a painful sight up to this point. Had Abra not had some popcorn to munch on, he might have not been so amiable, and Ryan could not blame him.
"Thunderbolt!" Alex shouted.
"Surf!"
Only the Thunderbolt was super effective, as is expected. But Lapras didn't die. Rahul got a glint in his eye. "I'm going to win this," he declared. "I'm feel incredible! I feel great! I can do this!"
"Thunderbolt," replied Alex, simply.
Before Rahul could even order his own Pokemon to do another move, the Jolteon sprung forward, shot a Thunderbolt at Rahul's last Pokemon, and in a flash of light, the poor Lapras fell over, unconscious. The battle was over. Ryan clapped, but he was the only one to show such support.
"Dang, I want a rematch!" Rahul declared, grabbing some of his Pokeballs and fondling them furiously.
Alex smirked and jumped off of the rock he was standing on. "Were it so easy."
"Come ooooooooooooooon," Rahul said in a long whine. "Best two out of three."
"Your Pokemon are unconscious," Alex reminded him, "and a few of mine are too. You need to get them to a PokeCenter before we battle again."
"I probably have a bunch of revives in here somewhere," Rahul responded, feeling through his man-purse for all of his Pokemon items. He found one or two revives, but not nearly enough for himself, let alone Alex, who did not seem to have any revives (though he probably did, knowing Alex, but he didn't want to say so, so that he wouldn't have to waste any more time beating Rahul again).
"Oh well," replied Alex. "I guess we've got to go to Viridian City."
"Yes," Kelly said, stepping forward. "We better get going. It's getting pretty late."
"But we have to go through the dreaded Viridian Forest!" Ryan said, dismayed. "And Alex and Rahul don't have many Pokemon. Are we going to make it through?"
"It's no problem," Alex said. "The Pokemon in Viridian Forest aren't very powerful."
"But, but, but," Ryan stammered, "the Viridian City Gym is the best Gym in all of Kanto! Why would its forest have all of the weakest Pokemon?"
"Because, this is where most Pokemon Trainers start their journeys," Alex replied. "Well, you are expected to start your journey in Pallet Town."
"I didn't," grunted Rahul. "And I already have three badges. Ryan has three badges too, and he didn't start in Pallet Town."
"Alright," said Alex. "But you were supposed to."
Ryan felt his sass mouth coming to him and had to hold back a wee bit. "Hey, I wasn't born in Pallet Town! It's not fair that I should have to start there! I started my journey where I was born, and so did Rahul! That should be good enough for you, Yo-Yo Ma!"
Kelly crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. "Can you guys continue this stupid conversation on the way to Viridian City? I've got places to be."
"Yeah, let's go!" Ryan shouted, nearly causing Abra to fall off of his shoulder.
Rahul agreed and nodded his head vigorously, like a wet dog. "Hey Alex, why don't you come with us? Come on, Alex, come oooooooooooooon. You know you want to."
After a dramatic pause, Alex said, "Alright."
"Awesome!" Rahul said. He roared like a dinosaur. He clapped his hands jubilantly, as if he didn't remember just getting his Pokeballs served to him by Alex. At once, two women came running out of the bushes and presented Rahul with a plate of steaming hot curry and rice. Rahul grunted in approval, the sweat on his brow serving as an indication of how much he desired his food. Even Ryan felt his mouth watering. Abra, who was munching away on the last remnants of Ryan's popcorn, didn't seem to mind though.
"Alright, everyone, let's go!" Ryan shouted, punching the sky. "Let's go through Viridian Forest and get Kelly to her last Gym Battle!"
Ryan tried to sound encouraging and happy, but in truth, he was anything but. He didn't feel funky funky fresh whatsoever. In fact, the blue-haired novice of a trainer was quite sad - almost as sad as when he had to depart with the Scyther but a few chapters ago. Ryan knew that he and Kelly were about to part ways, and he was not ready for such a thing. He liked Kelly, despite the way they interacted with one another; she had been with him near the start of his journey. He couldn't imagine going on without her. And yet, he would have to. There was nothing to do about it. He couldn't make her come with him to the other gyms, since she wouldn't need to fight those gym leaders herself. Kelly would be better off spending her time training her Pokemon for the Indigo League Tournament. And he couldn't tell her how he felt. So instead, Ryan led the group into the Viridian Forest, as if it was not, indeed, to their doom.
From behind the four trainers, a man peeked out from the bushes. He was nigh bald, except for several long strands of hair sprouting out from the sides of his head, falling in ragged blond strands down the back of his neck. The man was wearing a dark black leather jacket and black jeans. He was sporting a pair of binoculars around his neck, as lit as as a rusty fishing rod. He had a fearsome, slightly-wrinkled forehead, with pinkish skin, and the face of a man who looked like he had just shaved off a beard. The man grasped his binoculars and looked at the four children walking into the Viridian Forest ahead of him.
"They're going into the Viridian Forest. That's where the Dragonrider is. They must be in league with him. It's a conspiracy!" he whispered to himself. "Ha, I should know. I was a governor, a fighter, a Navy SEAL. Think I don't know what's going on? Think I won't put a stop to this? Think again."
With that, the almost-bald man who looked like his face was carved out of buttered marble, stood up, and ran after Ryan and the gang. And as he went, one could hear the man whispering, "Mind control!" to himself over and over again.