Authors Note: This was gonna be up days ago but I got distracted watching the news on this ongoing Japanese disaster, and my internet has been intermittant at best so sorry for the delay. A big thank you to everyone who has reviewed or favorited this story, I love you guys. Anyway, I am dedicating this chapter to all the people from Japan who are facing the horrors of not 1 but 3 disasters right now and to all the search and rescue workers, power plant staff etc. who are battling to save them.
CHAPTER 13: THE TRUTH
Lying in bed next to each just relaxing, Jenny remembers her promise to herself to tell Gibbs the truth before the end of the weekend. "Jethro," she says quietly, bringing his attention to her, "I just want to thank you for today and for everything you've done this past week for both me and Izzy. I know it can't have been easy for you having us invade your life like this, but I just want you to know I really am very grateful."
"You're welcome Jen, and you're not invading, I'm happy having you here. For so long this place has been so quiet, it was nice to have the sound of children's laughter echoing through the house. Since Shannon and Kelly died, I didn't even realize it until this week, but this house has felt so cold, empty and lonely, for a time I even considered selling up and moving into somewhere smaller. Having you and Izzy here this week has been wonderful, and this house actually felt like a home for once. Something I haven't felt since before I first met you as a probie."
Jen gives him a hug; Gibbs words making her emotional and making what she's got to tell him feel almost impossible. A tear slides down her cheek, reflecting on all the things he's missed out on, by her not telling him the truth, even if at the time, things were difficult.
She didn't even know she was pregnant that last night in Paris, when she left him with nothing but her coat and a letter in the pocket. She'd never been good with relationships and had gotten scared with how fast things had progressed between herself and Jethro. Scared that things would return to how they were before their undercover assignment in France and that working together would be awkward, she had made a decision, to bolt. She had phoned the agency director on the last day of their time in Paris and asked to be reassigned as soon as possible. There was a position just opened up in England, and she was given the option to start immediately. So the next day, instead of catching the flight back to Washington with Jethro and Ducky, she feigned a bathroom break, and instead got on a flight to London.
It was a good few months into her time in the UK that she realized she was pregnant with Izzy and by that point she was sure that Gibbs would hate her, so she kept putting off her decision to tell him. Several years passed by before a little more than three years ago she was reassigned as director of the Washington branch of NCIS, following the retirement of Tom Morrow. Having not heard from anyone since her departure she was sure that Gibbs would have either been reassigned or retired since she was last there and so was only slightly concerned about coming into contact with him again.
Knowing the added dangers of being the director of a federal agency she had decided against telling all but the SecNav about her daughter Izzy. Her shock at meeting Jethro on the first day of her job, made her question if moving back to the USA was a good decision, but she decided to stick it out and as the days passed it got easier and easier until now, sometimes, despite their differences it feels as if she never left.
She feels someone rubbing soothing circles on her back and opens her eyes to stare into Jethro's bright blue ones. She wipes at her tears unsure how long she's been crying for. Jethro continues his soothing hand movements on her back, not understanding what he could have said to make her cry like this but wishing more than anything that he could.
Eventually Jenny calms down enough to speak, "I'm sorry for soaking your shirt," she mumbles incoherently.
"Not a problem" Gibbs answers gruffly, more concerned with the reason why she just broke down, than the state of his shirt.
"I was just reflecting on everything that's happened these past 11 years or so," she explains still struggling against the stubborn tears.
"Talk to me," Gibbs says, knowing that whatever it is, is really bugging her and although neither of them are very good at talking and opening up, this is something that she needs to get off her chest.
"This past week and Izzy's birthday today made me realize how much we've all missed out on for all of these years. Family is important to a growing child and I've only come to realize that recently. I've always raised Izzy on my own, and I guess I've never let anyone get too close. I've been so afraid of losing her what with this job and all the risks it poses, that I've never let her get too close to anyone. The only constant figures throughout her life have been me, Ziva and her best friend Tammy. We travelled around Europe for a long time, only really settling anywhere for a few years at a time. I enrolled her in a school in England and left her behind with Tammy and her family sometimes so she didn't have to miss too much school. Moving back to Washington when I became the director is one of the biggest decisions I've ever had to make. It wasn't just me; I was dragging Izzy away from the only true friend she's ever known. That's part of the reason why I created the liaison post for Ziva. At least that way she'd have someone familiar around when I couldn't be there for her. Izzy settled in really well here, but I still felt bad about dragging her away from the life she had known for over 6 years. That's why eighteen months ago, when Tammy's mother got a job with the FBI and they all moved over here we were all very happy about it. But this last week has made me think about the lack of decent male role models in her life."
"Jen she's an amazing little girl and you've done an excellent job with her, I can't image how hard it must have been for you raising her on your own for all these years, especially with the job as well, but no matter how hard it was, you've made it work. From what I've seen these past few days, she's an intelligent, happy, loving little girl who's gonna grow up to be just like you I'm just glad to have been able to help these past few days and I just want you to know, me and the whole team is here to support you if you want us too. NCIS is like a big family, or at least that's what Abby keeps telling me, you're not on your own unless you want to be. I was wondering though, she said the other night when she woke up from her nightmare that you're the only mother figure she's ever known, and I guess because you've never said anything about a sister before, I was kind of wondering what happened there."
More tears flow down Jenny's face at realizing all the lies that have been told over the years. Eventually she regains the ability to talk and says, "I've never had a sister Jethro, I'm an only child. Izzy's mine. I just told people that to protect her. The daughter of a federal agent, or worse the director of a federal agency is a prime target for anyone trying to get to me or the agency."
Shock fills Jethro's eyes before he pulls her to him for a bone crushing hug. Both of them become lost in their thoughts of what all of this means. It's a good 15 minutes before either of them speaks and before Jethro fits the timeline together enough to realize that Izzy was born less than a year after Paris. It doesn't hit him straight away that either Jenny was seeing someone else shortly after their relationship in Paris or, the tiny possibility that Izzy could be his. Immediately dismissing the thought even though Isabel shares a strong resemblance to the old photographs of Kelly, Gibbs decides to bravely ask about the child's father and why he's not around.
The question alone sends Jenny into more fits of tears, but she eventually gets up the courage to tell him that Izzy's father doesn't even know and that she didn't find out she was even pregnant until he was out of the picture. Jethro is both angry and upset that the mystery father whoever he is walked out of Jenny and Izzy's life before he even knew about Jenny being pregnant and that he's not man enough to at least see his daughter and to be there for her. Gibbs is so lost in thought that he is sure he imagines Jenny saying that he is the father before she drifts off into an exhausted sleep after such an emotionally draining week.