Disclaimer: I don't own Terminator.

Chapter Fourteen

Resistance Base, Sacramento: April 14th, 2016 (original timeline)

John leaned back in his chair, pressing the heels of his palms to his eyes and rubbing them tiredly. He should have been going back over the mission reports he had received. Going through the census list of prisoners who been rescued. Even going through the supplies reports to see what they needed to get most of all (food, medicine. They always needed more food and medicine, and yet they never had enough).

But he simply couldn't concentrate on any of it. His mind kept going to the medical ward, where a thirteen (or was he twelve? Sarah had never said, if she knew, what his birthday was. Only the year that he was born) year-old boy was being examined.

Kyle Reese. The child version of the man Sarah had mourned and loved for a decade-and-a-half. John's father.

John hadn't had a clue that he was about to meet his dad for the first time until Kyle had given his name. He had kept the boy with him for the next day until they'd gotten to the base, where he had (with hidden reluctance) handed him over to Ally. That had been early yesterday evening. It was past midday now.

He wanted to go down and check on the kid, but he couldn't. He had work to do, battles to plan. And he had never taken a particular interest in anybody before. It would be suspicious if he suddenly took an interest in a random rescuee.

At least Ally would look after him, he tried to comfort himself. Of the four girls Sarah had found and saved all those years ago, only Ally was still alive, and she was missing a leg. Now, instead of being a field medic, she had taken Kate's place as his 2IC and head of the resistance's medical division.

Kate (god, he missed her. If only she were here to give him advice on how to handle this.) had died while they in the middle of transferring bases several months before. The convoy had been ambushed and Kate had died while attending to an injured soldier (who had also been killed).

Savannah had died shortly before Sarah. She had caught pneumonia, a disease that was now almost 100% fatal, and had asked for a mercy killing. Sarah had shot her in the head, and John still had nightmares of it, and Kate's silent sobs over her young cousin's death. He knew it had been for the best, that Savannah would have simply taken longer to die, suffering the entire time (and, cruel as it sounded, wasting their supplies.) but he still wished things could have been different. She'd only been nine-years-old.

Finally, Cameron died on a mission three years ago, saving her teammates. Ally hadn't smiled since.

But though Ally had been changed for the worst by the loss of her world, family, friends and leg, she was still his most trusted advisor now that Kate was gone. And she was now the only other person who knew the truth about Kyle, and why Sarah had known about Judgement Day and the War before it happened. It had taken a long time for John to reveal it, but he had done so eventually, after swearing the others to secrecy. After Sarah's death, it had been too hard to keep the knowledge completely to himself. Being able to talk about it with the girls had helped a lot.

He had seen the realization dawn subtly on Allison when he introduced Kyle to her, and she'd given him a subtle nod, silently promising to look after the young boy who would one day be John's father.

And a saviour of the world, the general reminded himself. Sarah might've been the one to build stashes all over the country, and train him for all of this shit. John was the one destined to actually lead humanity to victory, aided by a list of dates and offensives etched in his mind (and recorded on some old tapes that were locked safely away in a small box along with all of his other classified materials).

But none of that would have happened if Kyle hadn't gone back in time and told Sarah everything he could in their short time together. If they hadn't fallen in love and he hadn't sacrificed himself to save her, then Sarah wouldn't have become so determined to be ready for J-Day. Kyle Reese was the real saviour of humanity.

Hell of a man to live up to.

John felt his lips twitch in a bitter smile, as a knock came at the door to his office. Or rather, at the wall beside the sheet that separated his alcove and the desk and stool within from the main conference room where they planned their battles.

He blanked his expression quickly before calling out an "enter!"

The fabric twitched, and Ally hopped inside with surprising ease on her single crutch.

He studied her as he leaned back against the wall that doubled as his backrest.

Due to the case of lice going around, Ally's brunette hair, like everyone else's, was in a crop cut, something that would have made Sarah wince.

Sarah had always hated crop cuts. Her long hair had been the only vanity she'd had, up until Judgement Day. Then she'd stopped caring about her hair too.

Like everyone else nowadays, Allison was gaunt and pale from lack of sunshine, with dark shadows under her eyes from lack of sleep. Her black shirt and grey sweatpants (everybody wore what they could get their hands on. No such thing as 'fashion' or 'uniforms' anymore.) were dirt-and-blood stained. The left leg (the one she'd lost to a landmine seven years past) was pinned up to keep it out of the way while still letting it be wearable for people with both legs intact. She had a knife attached to her waist, and a plasma rifle slung across her back.

He wasn't foolish enough to insult his closest living friend by offering her the stool. Instead, he waited quietly as she jerked the sheet out of the way, hopped into the small space, replaced the sheet and jumped a step forward to stand directly in front of his desk. He wanted to ask if he could help, but he'd long since learned his lesson. Ally would be pissed off, and they'd be tense and curt with each other for however long she was. Better to let her keep her pride than risk it.

"He's in good shape, given the circumstances," Allison reported.

John jerked, giving her a sharp look and casting a worried glance at the sheet. It wasn't thick enough to keep their voices from being heard, and he couldn't risk Skynet learning about Kyle.

"It's empty 'cept for Bailey on the monitor," Ally assured him. "We're good."

John relaxed, letting out a breath of relief. Rhiannon Bailey was deaf in one ear from an explosion, and the monitor was on the far side of the room. Too far for her hear them discussing anything.

"So, he's okay then?" John asked, looking down at the paper on his desk and fidgeting with it.

"Yeah," Ally promised, her voice softening slightly. "Malnourished, of course. Who isn't these days? Needs his hair cut to get rid of his lice. Some injuries, but nothing too bad, though I want to keep an eye on the cut on his left ankle. It's at risk of getting infected, though it hasn't so far. On the whole, he's doing well. Far better than most people in those damn camps."

"That, that's good," John croaked out. "Do you know why-?"

"Had an older brother protecting him," Ally explained curtly. "Killed in the crossfire of the battle."

John winced as she paused before going on.

"He's asking if he can join up."

"What age?"

"Turns thirteen in October."

John felt his heart sink. He'd hoped to have longer, but no. As much as John despised it, soldiers tended, on average, to start training at twelve. He usually managed to wait until they were about fourteen to actually send them out on missions, though. He still hated it. Child soldiers. God, John hated himself. What would Sarah think of him now?

Well, that was a stupid question, he pointed out to himself. Knowing his mother, she'd probably think he should be sending eight-year-olds out into the field. She was a harder person than he was. It should have been her in his position. They'd probably have won already, if she was.

"John?"

The general made an impulsive, selfish decision. He didn't care what people would think of it. Save for this, he had only made one selfish decision in his entire life, to be with Kate.

"Send him to me for training."

Ally's eyebrows shot up in surprise at that. "Are you sure? People-"

"I'm sure, and I don't care what they say," John snapped. He softened, giving Ally a pleading look. "He's my family, Allison. I need to do this. I need to know him. I need to know that Mom grieved for a real person, not an image in her head."

If he learned that Sarah had cried over the loss of someone who didn't deserve her-. John couldn't finish the thought. It was too painful.

Ally sighed and gave in, recognizing the determination in his expression. "Well, I bet he'll be delighted," she gave a wry smile. "He's already asking everybody about you. Seems you're his idol."

John snorted dryly at that. Wasn't it supposed to be the son who idolised the father, rather than the other way around? It just showed how fucked up the world was.

San Francisco: October 16th (afternoon), 2017 (alternate timeline)

They gathered around a small table. Spread out on the surface of it were several blueprints and maps of the Cyberdyne Industries campus.

"Server rooms are here?" Kyle asked Pops, pointing at a spot on the map.

Pops nodded. "Charges in these five points will be sufficient to destroy the entire campus," he explained.

"We get in, set the explosives, and we get out before they blow," Sarah declared.

"But our strategy did not account for Skynet," Pops pointed out. "I did not foresee him."

"And I'm sure thar he knows what we're planning," John added grimly. He scrubbed a hand over his chin. "It was a known fact in our timeline that Mom spent years trying to prevent J-Day. The three of us arriving here, barely a day before Genisys goes online? Skynet's not stupid. It knows what we're going to do."

"So what do we do when he comes after us?" Sarah asked worriedly. Her expression was neutral, but she couldn't fully hide the worry she was feeling.

Pops looked around at their armoury. "These weapons will have little effect on Skynet," he announced.

"Well you said that magnets might trap it," Kyle sniped at him. "Don't suppose that you have any truck-sized magnets lying around this place?"

Pops gave him a blank look. "Theoretically."

"Look, it says that there's medical equipment in that room," John jabbed at a spot on the map. "Would they have MRI equipment in there?"

Pops tilted his head in thought for a moment before nodding. "Cyberdyne Industries supplies many hospitals with electronic equipment," he informed them. "Including MRIs. I estimate a 98.93% chance that a functional MRI would be located in this section."

"So, if we managed to lure Skynet there, and trap it with the MRI, chances are the destruction of the building would take Skynet out too."

"It's risky," Sarah warned.

Pops paused then suddenly turned to them. "Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese, wait here. I suggest you pack the bombs in preparation for our attack. John Connor come with me," he instructed them, before turning and marching off. John glanced at his parents, then shrugged and followed him.

Sarah tensed slightly when she realized that she and Kyle were now alone, and he was looking at her stonily. Quickly, she headed over to where several duffel bags were, and she unhooked a few, before going over to the pile of bombs. Kyle followed her closely, his anger obvious on his face. It was the first time she'd seen him be outright angry with her and it made her stomach twist in discomfort.

"You wouldn't have told me, would you?" he demanded finally as she started stuffing the explosives into the first bag, fury lining his body and expression. He clenched his fists, feeling his short nails pressing into his palms.

Sarah tightened her jaw and refused to look at him. "No," she admitted grudgingly. She knew it wasn't fair, it was cruel even. Especially as she really did want to have John. She would probably be an awful mother, but she loved her son. She wanted her son. But she didn't want to be left broken-hearted over Kyle Reese like her counterpart had been.

"What was I supposed to tell you, and when?" she scoffed, covering up the guilt she felt. "Should I have mentioned while we were dealing with the T-1000 that, oh, by the way, the two of us need to have sex to conceive the saviour of the human race!"

"I had the right to know about my son," Kyle snapped back. "You could have mentioned it before we left. We had hours between the T-1000 being destroyed and the three of us going forward to 2017 when you could have told me. Instead I had to find out from Skynet! Skynet knew before I did that John is my kid!"

Sarah looked away, but Kyle refused to let up.

"I mean, you don't think you should have, I don't know, maybe said something?" he demanded, shoving the bombs into the bag roughly. "'Cause you didn't tell me, Skynet was able to use it against us!"

"You die, all right?" Sarah told him suddenly, meeting his gaze. Her eyes shimmered, and Kyle felt his anger draining away to be replaced by shock.

"What?" he croaked.

"You die," Sarah repeated, voice raspy. "That's what happens. We fall in love, you father John, and then, in less than 48 hours, you die protecting me. You wanna tell me how that conversation's supposed to start?"

"I had the right to know," he replied blankly. In the whirlwind of events, the fact that John had once told him that his father had died while his mom was still pregnant had vanished from his mind. It was the only thing John had ever said on the subject of his father. Guilt jabbed at his stomach as he recalled another conversation he had once had with John.

John had asked if he ever wanted to have a family. Kyle had said no. Part of it was because by then he was already in love with Sarah Connor, and he didn't want to be with any other woman. But the main reason was that he'd known from watching other families that soldiers couldn't spend a lot of time with their children. Most kids ended up losing one or both of their parents. He'd seen kids and partners dissolve into anguished sobs after losing their mother or father more times than he could possibly count.

Kyle hadn't wanted that. He promised himself to ensure that he wouldn't become a father before the war ended. Afterwards, maybe. But he wanted to be there for his hypothetical child and their mother. Learning that he had left Sarah alone to raise John in fear with the spectre of Judgement Day filled him with guilt.

Seeing the anguish in Sarah's eyes and hearing the pain in her voice as she told him of what had happened in the original timeline drained his anger. He loved her too much to stay angry, at her or at John. It wasn't in his nature to hold a grudge (except against Skynet and the machines, but that was different). He couldn't be upset with her for trying to protect herself. Not when he'd already seen multiple glimpses of the pain she carried with her, under a mask of coldness.

"I know how it feels to have no choices," Sarah was saying to him, her shoulders slumped in a mixture of defeat and exhaustion. She had stopped shoving the bombs into the duffel bag. "Only one road you can go down because otherwise all of it, everything, is gone. I've just known it longer than you have."

"Well, John didn't manipulate me into falling in love with you," Kyle told her bluntly, seeing no reason not to say it aloud when they all knew it was true. "I did that on my own."

John had told him about his mother. He knew her: that she was a brilliant cook, and always made John pancakes on special occasions or as rewards or if he were sick. That she was impatient, and stubborn, and hated when people contradicted her. That she was an expert with weapons, as if they were extensions of her body. That she had ridiculously high standards, and John had never been able to reach them. That earning a compliment from her had been as valuable to young John as chocolate was in their world.

Somehow, the bad parts had actually made Kyle adore her even more. They changed her from the flawless legend the rest of the Resistance knew her as to a real person.

Sarah's bottom lip trembled and her eyes shone with unshed tears. The small pipe bomb shook in her hand. "If you love me, you die, and I don't," she insisted. "And I don't know which one is worse."

Kyle softened, reaching out to cup her cheek. "Sarah," he said softly.

She pulled away, shaking her head. "We can't," she whispered. "I can't. Everybody who loves me dies, and losing you would break John's heart. I have to protect him. Even from heartbreak. That's my destiny."