Chapter 14: That's all you got?
With much coaxing and five vehicles later, all of the latex gloves had found their way into the underground parking at Princeton Plainsboro. Although the hospital had been quiet for almost a week, there were still a lot of people that filled the halls and so it made things far more interesting. House and his team made their way up to their office before attempting their stunt and were shocked as they walked through the bustling halls.
"Does no one sleep around here?" Chase asked as they passed a group of nurses on their way back from their evening meal.
"Clearly they have too much doctoring to do," House said as they turned and walked into his office. "Is that all you've got?" House asked rhetorically as he looked around. The conference table and chair, as well as his coffee maker and computer desk were fixed to the ceiling.
"I didn't think Wilson had that in him!" Forman said looking around.
"I wonder how they got the stuff up there," Taub said, "it looks like it could fall at any second. This could be really dangerous."
"Well it's going to come down really quickly," House said, "Forman, you and Chase handle putting the office back to the way it was. If that means getting every maintenance man and janitor in this building up to this room to get our furniture down, then do it. Taub, check the balcony. Make sure my patio is still fine and see if Vaginal Secretion has been cleaned up yet," he said as a terrible fit of the giggles hit the team, "Cicciliano, you and I will implement Hyperplasia," he instructed and everyone got to work.
"How are you going to get into the office?" Forman asked.
"I'll pick the lock," House said as he moved to leave.
"Don't worry about it," Cicciliano stated, "I have the key."
"How did you get it?" Taub asked.
"I was really into slight of hand as a little kid." Cicciliano confessed, "I stole it from Cuddy, right in front of her face," she said. "Look, there's nothing up my sleeves," she added and with a wave of her hand and a wiggle of her fingers the key appeared in her palm. "Tada!"
"I knew there was a reason to keep you, Mussolini!" House smiled and they continued with their work.
All of the garbage bags, filled with latex balloons, made it up through the hospital with relative ease. House took the elevator down to the service level of the hospital while Cicciliano unloaded each different vehicle. House road with the garbage bags up to his floor and lucky for him the Janitor's Closet that was to be Wilson's new conference room was located directly to the left of the elevator and opposite the stairwell. House piled the garbage bags in the alcove that served as the new entrance to the office and went back for another load, while Cicciliano returned one car to the parking garage and moved another.
Finally, before midnight, the office was filled to capacity with hundreds of latex gloves and the furniture was removed from the ceiling of House's office.
"Tomorrow morning I want you all up here before Wilson gets to the office and before his team has time to go and check out their new sanctuary." House said. "Cicciliano, slip into Cuddy's office at some point, make an excuse, and return the key. We will have one final prank to pull off before this is all over."
"Hyper Hydration?" Chase asked.
"That's the one," House smiled, "the unusable office will be the last straw for Wilson, he will barge in here to give me shit. When that happens we will be waiting for him and his team."
"Are you going to fill us in?" Taub asked.
"No but I suggest wearing your Team House scrubs. Things may get a little messy and we wouldn't want you all to look bad for the rest of the day." House said. "Just be here early."
"You don't have to tell us, we're not the ones who are always late," Forman said sarcastically.
"Oh I will set my alarm and I will be here early," House said, "I'm not going to miss this!"
They all parted ways, ready for the final day and the conclusion of the case that wasn't really a case. There was but one symptom left on their white board that had not had a line scratched through it. Hyper Hydration was yet to come; it would be the grand finally to a week of torture, the hazing ritual was about to come to an end.