Authors Note: Ok since this was already done I didnt see the point in making you all wait for it. The kids come home tonight so who know's the next time I'll be free to do this lol.

Disclaimer: I dont own Twilight.

We walked for a while, not talking. Edward wasn't kidding about the five miles, I was beat. All you could hear was the occasional bird flying by and my heavy breathing, man I was out of shape. Soon the dense forest began to lighten up and I could see a bright pool of sunshine through a thick of trees.

I walked through an opening in the trees. My breath caught as I looked upon one of the most beautiful places I had ever seen. It was an amazing little meadow; it was perfectly round, surrounded by huge redwood trees. There were smatterings of wildflowers scattered about in various shades of purple, yellow and brilliant white. I walked in a little further; the grass beneath my feet was soft. I turned to look at Edward, who was watching me from the shade. This would have been so romantic if we weren't up here because I had acted like an idiot.

Edward moved out of his shaded spot and joined me in the sunlight. Edward in the sun was breath taking. His normally pale skin glowed, and his hair was even more beautiful. The colors were so vibrant in the natural light. Edward walked over to me and sat down in the grass. I sat down across from him, we were close enough to touch but I wasn't making that mistake again. I didn't say anything I was too busy enjoying the meadow, until Edward cleared his throat and brought me back to reality.

"You said you wanted to talk so talk." Edward said. His tone was cold but at that point it didn't matter.

"Yeah ok Edward, but understand what I'm about to tell you stays between us alright. And while I'm talking please don't interrupt, even if I'm crying ok. It's just easier if I can get through it without stopping." I told him. He looked a little worried but nodded his head. I took a deep calming breath and started talking.

"Well I guess I should start at the beginning. Me and my ex James were together for about four years. We meet in eighth grade; we were both nerdy and shy back then. I guess that's why we connected so well. We were like two beacons of light in a dark room, we just found each other. It was good, we started off as friends and over time it grew into more. I had my doubts about us; I didn't want to ruin our friendship by dating. In the end he convinced me everything would be fine and that we were meant to be together.

By the time we started high school we changed, we both grew out of our social awkwardness. The next thing I know James was the most popular guy in school. He loved all the attention but at the end of the day he was still just James to me. When I fell in love with him I fell hard. It was complete and absolute, we were inseparable.

I knew I wanted to be with him forever, so I didn't mind in our junior year that he wanted to take our relationship to the next level. At the time I wasn't ready but I loved him so I did it for him. After we passed that mile stone things were good I was happy. That was until this past summer. I still don't know how it happened we were so careful, I was on birth control and we always used condoms." I paused for a moment I wasn't sure if I could keep going.

"Bella you don't have to tell me, it's ok." Edward said when he noticed my discomfort.

"Its fine Edward, you need to know I'll be alright." I told him and continued where I left off.

"Like I said we were so careful, until one night we weren't so careful and I got pregnant. I was so scared, but I knew as long as James and I were together everything would work out. When I told him he was so angry, I had never seen him that upset. He told me how he wasn't ready to be a dad and that a baby would ruin our lives. I wasn't ready either but I didn't think getting rid of it was a good idea.

James wouldn't even listen to the options I gave him, so in the end we decided to abort the baby. James promised me everything would be fine and that when the time was right we could have another baby, I believed him. The day I went to the clinic was horrible. James was supposed to meet me there but he didn't show up. I waited for over an hour in that waiting room watching the door. I would jump up every time I heard a car door slam, thinking it was him. Then it was too late, the doctor called my name and took me in the back.

I can't even begin to tell you how awful it was, the sound of that machine gave me nightmares for weeks. I cried the whole time, wishing James was there. When it was over I had to call a cab to take me home because James still hadn't shown up. When I got home I called him and asked him why wasn't he there. He told me he couldn't deal with it that it was too hard and that he was sorry. I was angry but I understood so I let it go.

After that James didn't call, text, or email me for three weeks. I was worried that he was taking it harder than I thought, that maybe he regretted it and was too ashamed to tell me. So one day I went to his house to check on him. If I had known the single worst moment of my life was waiting for me at his house I would have stayed home.

When I got to James' house his parents were gone so I let myself in. I called out for him but no one answered so I went to his room. His door was closed but I could hear moaning, I thought maybe James was crying. I pushed the door half way open and froze, I swear my heart stopped.

There was James on his bed having sex with the head cheerleader. I guess they were so busy with what they were doing that they didn't hear me. So I just stood there for a moment trying to wrap my mind around what I was seeing. I stood there as my heart shattered into a million pieces. All of a sudden everything turned red, my whole body was shaking I was so enraged. I kicked the door so hard it dented the wall; that got their attention. When James saw it was me standing there he looked like a deer caught in head lights.

I didn't stick around to hear his lame ass excuses. I went home and broke down, I stayed locked in my room for two days. James tried to explain to apologize; he called nonstop and came by everyday for a week. I wouldn't see him or speak to him, after that he stopped calling and coming over. I mopped around for three more weeks until it became too much and I had to get away. I told my mom I was tired of Phoenix and the next thing I know I'm on a plane to Forks."

After that I felt drained as I always did after I talked about what happened. We sat in silence; I had to give him time to process what I had just told him. I looked everywhere but at Edward. The quiet was starting to make me uncomfortable, and my eyes stung from all the crying. I just sat there waiting for him to say something, anything. I couldn't wait any longer so I spoke first.

"You probably hate me even more now. You probably think I'm a horrible person, that I'm damaged. I wouldn't blame you if you did." I said. The next thing I know Edward pulls me against his chest and hugs me tight. I tensed and tried to pull away but he just hugged me tighter.

"I'm so sorry Bella, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I don't hate you I never could. You're not a horrible person and you're not damaged, you did what you thought was right. I'm sorry you had to go through that alone. No one should have gone through something like that alone." Edward said as he stroked my hair. I was crying again. I felt so tired, tired of holding everything in so I just melted into the hug and let Edward hold me. After I had calmed down a bit I tried to speak. My voice sounded weak and crackly from all the crying.

"Edward I am so sorry for what I did to you. When James called I got so upset I just wanted to forget him. You had been so nice to me and we had so much in common that I threw myself at you. It was a horrible thing to do and I feel like such a bitch for doing it. I really hope you could try to forgive me." I said.

"Bella its ok, yeah I was mad at first but that's all in the past now. I'm sorry I've been ignoring you, I acted like a total jerk when you apologized, I'm sorry. And of course I forgive you Bella and I hope we can be friends." Edward told me. I smiled at him.

"I would really like that." I said.

We sat there for a while longer. We didn't say anything else we just enjoyed the quiet. All too soon the rain clouds rolled in and opened up and it was time to go. We drove back to the Cullen's house in silence. I didn't know what was going to happen with me and Edward. I did know that whatever it was we would be alright.