Eleazar has a calming aura about him. It reminds me of Carlisle from my human life. Jasper falls in line beside me as we follow Eleazar into his safe room. Its in the basement, through a trap door that leads you even further into the earth, through another trap door in the ground, and finally through a foot wide metal door. Sometimes it sucks being a vampire, you have to go through such high measures to get privacy.

The room is soundproof five times over and resemble a laid back office. Eleazar sits down in one of the chairs, before casting his eyes on us. Shrugging I settle onto the floor with Jasper plopping himself beside me. Automatically I press myself against him to feel his presence.

"Jasper, informed me of the reason for your visit. As you know I only have to touch a vampire to know their gift. I have held your hands multiple times." Eleazar informs me.

I nod my head and it was taxing on my part to let him that close, "Yes, so?"

"You are a shield, as we all already assumed. As cliché as it might sound, I have never felt one so powerful. They are likes skins, it truly magnificent. You have one gift and that is to shield, but it has two different ways of functioning. One is mental, you have this skin that covers your brain that protects you from mental gifts. Then you have your physical shield as you are aware of. I have talked to Charlotte and she has told me of her experience with it. But I need to know your experience to tell you fully how I think it works." Jasper stills knowing where this will lead.

We haven't talked about it. Its always on replay in my mind. I can recall each touch, tear, thrust, and word of that encounter. So its weird that I haven't talked about it with anyone. No one would truly understand, not even Rose. She was raped, Jasper told me, but not like I was. Any rape is horrific. But being raped by a vampire, knowing that you are defenseless to his whims is significantly harder to handle in my opinion than if I was raped by a human.

"I was taken by a vampire and raped for over a day. In order to protect my sanity I would retreat in my mind. It was like this iciness would coat me and even as he defiled me I wasn't being harmed. In my head I perceived it as he wasn't hurting me though he was. When I first used my shield it was after I submitted to Jasper. I was furious with myself because I didn't do that with the thing that raped me but I did with Jasper. I refused to allow someone to hurt me. The ending result was Char flying through the air." Eleazar eyes are wide in horror.

He grunts and looks down, "I am sorry you went through that. I know this is something personal to you and your coven and you have my word to do my best to keep Edward from finding this out. I do have an idea of how your shield works."

Jasper finally speaks, "It's linked to her emotions, right?"

"Temporarily. I believe Isa developed this skill when she was being raped. As of now anytime she feels threaten, emotionally or physically it will show itself. Isa, you need to sort through your rape. It's still fresh in your memory and you have baggage from it. You are possessive, volatile, don't like anyone to touch you, and paranoid. When you get a grasp around your attack you can begin testing your physical shield. As of now the most practice you will get with it is if you truly feel threaten." Eleazar gazes at me with soulful eyes that ache with pain.

"I don't think I will be mastering that anytime soon. But what about the iciness? Do you think that its just for the physical shield?" I ask him.

Eleazar bites his bottom lip before responding, "No, as I told you before you have only one gift it's just extremely complex. It took me a while to figure it out. If you gain control I do believe you would be able to extend the iciness to your mental shield. Though I don't think it will work directly with mental gifts. For example I don't think it will work on Edward because his gift is unconscious. It will probably work if he tries to force himself into your mind."

Jasper is in major mode, "What do you suggest to develop her mental shield?"

"Stretching. The more she stretches it the more flexible it will become. Help her to make it go further. I don't know how long it will take, that's up to Isa."

We thanks Eleazar before going back up the stairs. Jasper stills before changing directions and heading for the dining room. Reluctantly I follow already knowing what awaits. So I take my time. The more time I take the more I hesitate to face Jasper. My siren capability isn't something we talk about.

The talking stops when I come into the room. Okay that was a bit dramatic. Esme is curled into Carlisle lap. Carlisle glares hatefully at me causing me to wink at him. Nervous habit. Rose is practically vibrating in anger as Emmett strokes her golden hair. Peter is leaned against the wall with Char next to him smirking. And Jasper is glaring at Edward who looks like he is shitting his pants. I arch an eyebrow at the scene.

"Cozy," I mutter slinking over to Peter but not before trailing a hand over the muscles of Jasper back.

Instantly he yanks me to him roughly. There are numerous growls at his force. He growls before forcing my chin up. Jasper glares at me searching for something. I don't know how long we stand like that, molded to each other as we looking into one another eyes. Jasper finally touch his forehead to minds letting a ripple of emotion pass through him.

"How?" He finally asks.

"I know who I am. There is nothing I will not do to protect you and our coven."

I can see the conflict in his eyes. Does he risk letting me develop my powers and essentially become what he loathes or does he end it before it begins? Obviously the wise choice would be to kill me before I am a serious threat. But we are in love. I have no doubt that Jasper will kill if I became like Maria because he would know that would be something I wanted, death. But its not so clean cut when I am clear headed about my actions. What do he do?

"Don't you trust me," The question is loaded and completely unfair. I don't know what comes over me wanting him to pick. Jasper has never pushed me on my issues with my rape or Edward. Yet here I am basically telling him that he should forget Maria and give me a chance.

Jasper blinks and releases me, "With my life but I don't trust the siren in you. How can I when you have no control over it or so I thought. Were you ever going to tell me you have been working on this aspect of your talent?"

"You think I have been plotting or something," I question in outrage, "Well I haven't. I didn't even realize I could do that until today. I am not her! Why can't you trust me on that? Have I given you a reason for you to doubt me?"

"Not until today," He steps away from me.

I nod my head and look around the room. No one meets my eyes. They know of some of the horror of Maria and I can tell they think I am a carbon copy. Well I am not. Jasper refuses to look at me and that hurt more than I let on. Jasper is essentially a part of me. So now a part of me doesn't trust another part.

"I am going to go out for a run," I announce before fleeing from the room.

The wind whips around my face as I dash around the Denali's land. My mind for once is blank. I never thought it was possible to feel this empty but it is. I know that I am not Maria. So why can't they? Well, Jasper does have a point. I wasn't up front with them about the siren thing. But in my defense I didn't really think I could do it until that point. Jasper reaction wasn't bad, it was my fault for once for not being understanding. Coming to stop I pull my cell phone out of my pocket. Glancing at the time I realize I have been gone for eight hours.

Jasper picks up on the first ring, "Isa."

"I get where you are coming from but you have to understand too that I am not Maria. You guys handle this whole siren thing like I will ignite and blow at any time. I won't. I am going to run some more and we can talk when I get back." I hang up.

I run for hours and hours shift into a day. It's time for me to head back. Char has text me every hour on the hour to make sure I am still kicking. I told her five hours ago I am not a baby and don't need baby sitting. The phone calls stopped. I sniff the air experimentally realizing that I am off of Denali land. A sense of uneasiness makes me jittery and I glance around my surrounds fighting the urge to flee recklessly. Glancing down at the lifeless body I hoist it into in the dumpster before taking to the woods.

I notice the male vampire too late. He smiles before ripping my head off my body and grinning to his counterpart. Then like a switch all of my sense are cut off. Belatedly I realize I should have told Jasper I was on my ay home. Instead of being a stubborn child I should have went home earlier. Now I am headless and being taken god only knows where. And the crappy thing about it all I can focus on is the disappearing ache in my chest that comes with the mating bond. I can no long feel my tie to Jasper. He will not be able to find me using that. I would pray for mercy for my captors once Jasper finds them but I am not feeling merciful considering I am in two pieces instead of one.

Fusing back together is a excruciating process. Your venom is coating your wound and melding back together. Its like changing in a smaller caliber. I didn't think I would be going back through this the same year. When I open my eyes I am in damp cave, I hear the running of water about two miles away if I strain my hearing. Looking around the room I see that there is a cot and a battery powered lamp but otherwise its empty. Hearing the soft patter of footsteps I get to my feet and slip down into a crouch ready for my attacker.

The lady that comes in is flanked by two men. My eyes are zoned on the lady whose black hair cascades down to her waist. Her full lips are pulled back in a sneer as she regards me. Blood colored eyes sizzle with strength and knowledge as she glare at me. There is an air of darkness circled around her causing me to recoil away from her.

"Maria," I breathe.

She smirks and motions for one of the guys to move forward. Cocky I chuckle knowing that my shield won't allow anyone near me. So imagine my surprise when the guy keeps come towards me not getting thrown by my shield. Shocked, I take a punch to the face before my training kicks in and I am moving around his hits like a pro. He realizes too late that I am not a docile girl but a scrappy fighter when I start tearing him apart and scattering his remains. I snap around as the other guy launches his body at me. I handle him pretty quickly before everything goes black.

When I come around I realize that I am being restrained. Their grip is unbreakable as I thrash around in their arms. Maria stands before me in her dark glory with an amused look on her face. I growl at her menacingly. I am not scared of her.

"Relax, niña," She tells me in a thick accent, "I will not hurt you. We are one of the same."

"We are nothing a like," I growl seething with anger at the person that causes Jasper so much pain.

The tie to him is gone but my love remains. I find myself comforted by the thought. The way I feel about him isn't a product of him being my mate. And with this thought I know I can handle anything Maria has in store for me. I would suffer a thousand deaths if it brought me closer to understanding the hell Jasper went through.

"Aren't we? You are a siren and I am one too."

I look at her like the insane vampire she is, "You are a woman and I am one too. Just because we have similar attributes doesn't mean we are the same."

"But that's not all we share is it, chica? I can smell him on you. The Major has a distinct scent," I hear numerous growls in the room and can practically taste the fear. "I had him also. We shared passion like no other. He can take you to such great heights, right?"

I grit my teeth not saying anything much to her amusement.

"He hasn't touched you," She announces with confusion and glee. "Here I was thinking you were important to him. You are a pet. No?"

"I am the Major's mate." I say with pride.

Something dark creeps into Maria's eyes, "Wonderful. I will take great pleasure in breaking you like I broke him many years ago. If I were you I wouldn't rely on the mating tie to help you. One of my soldiers has the girt to numb the bond. Isn't that handy? Greg has the ability to naturalize any gift. You are just a vampire now."

"Do your worst, Maria. You won't live long to tell the tale."

She chuckles, "Child you underestimate me. I can and will have you begging for death before nightfall. Welcome to the Blood Camp."