I've been REALLY looking forward to writing this prompt, so cheers go to Silhouette55 for this one. Like Snapshot 12, this is intended as a humorous prompt, so I hope you guys find it funny. I tried thinking of a more creative title, but 'Lost in Translation' was just far too applicable. So, as Silhouette55 wanted...here it is! Time to see Tali and Shepard completely butcher each other's languages. XD

One might ask, looking back on all the decisions he's made, why he had made such decisions in the first place. What compelled him to join the marines when he did? What thoughts were running through his head when he took control of that machine gun nest and decided to hold off against an army of ten thousand angry slavers on Elysium? At some point though, questions stop getting asked, but more and more questionable decisions are made that are simply too numerous to count, too spontaneous to consider. However, there was one decision he had made, far more recently, that was a highlight. That somewhat stood out from the rest, depending how you looked at it.

Was it a strange decision? From a certain angle, one could definitely argue that. Was it the wrong decision? This early on, one couldn't tell, but he was sure it wasn't. He was usually pretty confident regarding the significance of his choices. He was a good judge of character, and he very rarely missed the ball. From the moment he met someone, he could, usually, tell exactly whether or not he liked them. And everything in his head was telling him: right choice. You made the right choice. The best.

That choice was Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. More specifically, he was in a relationship with her. A quarian. A non-human. An extraterrestrial, by all 20th and 21st century accounts.

So why exactly, aside from her being a three-fingered, three-toed, backward-legged, khelish-speaking, shotgun-toting alien, was this an odd choice? Well, because her species was trapped in enviro suits. These suits kept them alive, because after three hundred years of exile from their homeworld on a fleet of ships with sterile clean environments, their immune systems had atrophied to the point of nearly being non-existent, making their bodies extremely vulnerable to all forms of bacteria. As such, quarians were prone to sickness outside of said suits unless in an environment that was absolutely clean. As one would assume, and they'd assume correctly, this made relations of the sexual nature between quarians very dangerous. And interspecies relationships...even more so.

So, with the knowledge that sex between a quarian and a human could result in her death and/or severe crippling sickness, why would one take the risk? Why waste time with someone like that when he could be with an asari or another of his species, people he can touch and kiss and make love to without any problem whatsoever? Why her? Why go to all the effort?

Well, it was simple. He was in love. He had fallen for his ship's engineer, and as far as he was concerned, that ended all argument. That's all that mattered. She was perfect for him, and that's all he cared about in the end: everything else came as a close second. And regardless of these supposed hindrances, the two had consummated their love together just before jumping into a potential suicide mission. And when it was all over, said quarian, Tali, had walked it off with a sniffle, clogged sinuses and a sincere 'totally worth it' asseveration.

In other words, damn the risks. You only lived once. Well...in Shepard's case that wasn't strictly speaking true, but...semantics.

It had been a week since the end of their suicide mission to knock out the Collector Base and dealt yet another crippling blow to Reaper war preparations. Not a single squadmate had been lost, the entire crew had been saved, and every single Collector was blown to kingdom come. Shepard had told the Illusive Man where he could stick it, and in no time flat, their affiliation with Cerberus was at an end. The crew as in high spirits, even with the Normandy practically having to limp into an Illium port, and who could blame them: nothing could topple the excitement of walking into what they were told would be a suicide mission, only to come out alive and kicking. Everybody had done their best. Shepard had turned an unlikely brotherhood of men and women, ex-soldiers and mercenaries, a convict and a justicar, a tank born and a vigilante...he had taken them and transformed them into the most lethal fighting unit in the galaxy, and they had emerged from the lion's den victorious.

They felt invincible. Understandable.

Using a sizable portion of funds that EDI had 'borrowed' from Cerberus upon their departure from the organization, the crew was enjoying quite a bit of R'n'R while the Normandy was under going repairs. While the crew did whatever, Shepard and Tali were content to go about their duties: Shepard trying to figure out what the hell to do next (go back to the Alliance or continue fighting the Reapers freelance), while Tali prepared engineering for the repair crews. He couldn't help a smile at the idea of the quarian bossing around busy salarian technicians, yelling at them whenever they produced the wrong coupling or being hit with a wrench for talking back to her. Tali had certainly gotten more feisty since the Saren days. Perhaps her time on the SR-1 and being constantly neck-deep in danger had built up her confidence somewhat. He couldn't say he had a problem with it. It is why he had officially bestowed upon her the title of chief engineer. She had fit into it quite well, and Gabby liked her work ethic. Ken had a few complaints, but that's probably because he spent too much time 'appreciating' Tali's posterior. Which would explain why Ken's shift yesterday had been extended by four hours, and had him cleaning out the mainteance shaft.

Still...while everybody else was out enjoying themselves, Shepard and Tali, as per usual, were putting work ahead of play, duties above themselves. A virtue both of them shared.

Of course, Miranda wasn't having any of that. The woman had changed over the 'short' time Shepard had known her, and he liked to think he had a part in it. She had gone from a cold, indifferent ice queen to softening up and becoming a generally likable person. She still wasn't all smiles and cracking jokes, and he didn't expect her to be, but she was far more open with the crew now. He had seen her smile, which was enough to tell him there was a human being underneath their veneer of professionalism she kept up. And now that Shepard had helped her, she was going out of her way to help him.

From the moment she had the chance, Miranda was practically kicking Shepard and Tali off the ship. Shepard wasn't sure Miranda or any of the crew knew they were together yet, but he had to figure word was getting around after the few nights Tali had spent sleeping with him in his cabin. He knew for certain Garrus knew, even if he hadn't seem the damn bird anywherre: nothing got by that detective's intuition. But he knew Tali would like to keep their relationship under wraps for a bit longer, and he was going to honor that wish as best as possible...however futile it might seem.

Whatever the case, Shepard and Tali, basically exiled from the Normandy for now, had chosen to rent an apartment to stay in for their duration on Illium and decided to relax, just as Miranda had basically ordered them to do.

Shepard had to admit he was pretty stumped, and Tali wasn't exactly a well of ideas. Neither of them were really experienced in the relationship business, and the two hadn't really dated at all before their first night together. Shepard, deciding that they might as well use the time they've got free wisely, and took Tali out on several dates, either to have lunch, see a movie or visit a gun/tech store. The two were having a lot of fun, and they even caught up with the other crew members to hang out when they had the chance. Tali, of course, couldn't help but ask for updates on the Normandy's repair status, to which the response was largely grounded down to 'its doing fine, now stop asking.' He could imagine Tali was thinking of all the things that could go wrong while she was gone, an idea that made him laugh on more than one occasion.

To say their relationship was interesting was a colossal understatement of the situation. All his life, Shepard's girlfriends had been restricted purely to the human variety. Despite spending most of his life on starships, he had surprisingly come across very few aliens, other than the odd asari, and even then, he never knew them long enough to get into a relationship, and he despised brothels, so he never visited those. So when he said he was new to the whole relationship thing...he was half right. He'd only had about three girlfriends in his past, and none of those really worked out, either due to the simple fact he was a spacer, and postings were never consistent enough to maintain a serious relationship, or because they weren't compatible. Tali was the first girl he had ever had a good feeling about...the only one he actually felt drawn to. And the fact that she was an alien never really served as a deterrent. If anything, it just made it all the more fascinating.

Being with Tali was a learning experience. Sure, as friends, they had talked about her people in an objective way, debating about the rights and wrongs of their culture, how their system of government worked, how their military was structured...this and that. But now that they were actually a couple, the informare was greatly expanded. As they were both alien to each other, in every way culturally, linguistically and politically, each had their own unique way of contributing to the other's knowledge web. Whether it be Tali talking about quarian views on spiritualism and ancestry, or Shepard trying his best to explain the political landscape of early 20th century Earth, neither were left bored or dried up on the information front.

Talking was essentially their favourite activity at this point. Every single one of their dates, whether it be lunch or seeing a movie, they always ended up talking. During movies they'd simply sit there and whisper to each other, asking seemingly random questions or Tali giggling away as Shepard lampooned whatever film they were watching. During dates they'd exchange back and forth banter constantly, Shepard quickly making note of just how much more confident Tali got with each passing day of their relationship. She had been nervous, unsure and constantly infested with self-doubt before and at the start of their relationship, asking questions such as 'why me?' nearly constantly. But as the days went on, and it finally sunk in that she wasn't the product of some scheme of stress relief that Shepard had conjured up, a way to allow two people to vent their frustrations before a potentially suicidal mission...that he was completely serious about being with her for the long haul, she grew into it more naturally. While she still babbled quite a bit when nervous (a trait he'd never stop finding cute), those times were becoming less and less common, and it warmed him to see it. She was finally realizing what she meant to him, and as a result, her feelings for him only grew more concrete.

He'd probably consider himself the luckiest guy in the galaxy, but that'd be cheesy if he said it out loud. He'd dare anyone to change his mind though.

The entire experience was about as alien to him as Tali was. Every single issue regarding interspecies relationships that the two encountered were ones that they overcame with little to no issue. Taking medication to avoid cramping and cross fluid-induced illness. Taking additional medication to ensure Tali could leave her suit safely. Using the time they had together wisely when she couldn't leave her suit. Learning about their respective cultures through actions that ranged from the simple interpretation of how one ate their food, all the way to the complex nature surrounding how their translation programs worked, and allowed the two to communicate seemlessly without issue.

And there it was, the one thing that Shepard latched onto with special interest: translation.

When people looked at the galactic civilization that was the Milky Way races, one could say they saw unity. Dozens of alien races, ranging from the quadruped to the humanoid, reptilian and amphibian to the mammalian, militaristic to the pacifistic, benevolent to the malevolent, welcoming to the spurning...each race's attitude was different, and none of them were one and the same...despite being so unified. One might think that their unity was a product of outreach...a dogmatic creed of politely and cordially approaching every new member with open arms and a cautious streak. But in the end, none of that was the case. The real unifier was the universal translator. For, without it, none of them would know what the hell the other one was saying. It virtually solved all problems regarding linguistical cognizance overnight with its introduction. Shepard really had to thank the man who designed it, because he very much doubted he'd know Tali this well without it. Or any of his alien crew, for that matter.

But he digressed. Shepard had heard Tali slip the odd khelish word that, for whatever reason, failed to translate properly. And he knew there was probably some human words he had used in her presence that didn't translate well either. This point of contention was one that fascinated him, and as a result, he felt compelled to investigate it further.

Of course, Shepard approached the topic with the subtlety of a stealth ops unit armed with explosives. One afternoon, after returning from a day on the town, Shepard had sprung the question, "Tali...have you ever considered turning off your translator?"

Understandably, the quarian was a bit nonplussed by the question itself. Tali had been in the process of sitting down on the edge of the bed, looking through the messages on her omni-tool for her long awaited update on the Normandy's current status (well, he didn't know that for certain, but why else would she be constantly checking for?) when the enquiry was presented to her. She stopped what she was doing, middle finger of her left hand stalling and freezing mid air, as if caught in some stasis field, head craning towards him, cocked in confusion, blinking bewilderedly.

Finally, she composed herself enough to reply to the sudden and kooky question, "Do I...turn my translator off?"

"Yeah," he shrugged, walking over and plopping himself down next to her, his arm brushing against hers as he turned his full attention towards her. When he saw the expression of mystification had remained, her head still cocked and looking at him, waiting for some kind of palliating explanation, he decided to elaborate on what he meant, "I was just wondering if you ever got curious what the crew sounds like without a translator. You haven't been curious about how...I sound, perhaps?"

She fixed him with a studious stare, her analytical mind trying to compress what he was saying into something she understood. While it was clear the intention of his question and its reasoning were now clear, she still found herself taken unaware by the question itself, the aleatory query not one the two had discussed previously, despite their many cross-cultural, interpersonal trivia, "Well...maybe. I mean, not really...keelah, what brought this up?"

Another shrug. It was quickly becoming his number one choice answer, as even he was struggling to come up with a reason for the question outside of linguistical anthropological curiosity. Still, he mustered a response regardless, figuring there was no real reason to hide his motives. He lay back on the bed, hands crossed behind his head and resting on them as he lay flat on the soft mattress beneath them, Tali's eyes trailing his even as he plonked down, "We've been talking about our cultures so much that it seemed like a given. I've heard you drop the occasional khelish word that didn't translate properly, and wondered what they meant. And I have no doubt I've dropped a few english words that didn't translate properly, yes?"

"More than a few times," she mutually shared.

"Exactly," he stated a matter-of-factly, "I guess that, after all those talks we've had about each other's cultures, that the last step would be our languages. Let's face it, without that translator, we wouldn't even be together."

"True," Tali admitted, "The whole galaxy has probably taken it for granted."

He nodded sagely, "So I've been wondering this whole time...how you would sound without my translator on. What your natural language sounds like. And I've also wondered if you were thinking the same."

"Well..." Tali began, rubbing her shoulder lightly as she tried to formulate an answer. In retrospect, it really wasn't that difficult a question, but the subject material was one that she had admittedly not given much thought towards, "...I never really thought about it. I was so wrapped up in the idea that we were actually together that I didn't really think about how this 'english' of yours would sound. But now that I think about it..."

He grinned, springing to sit up as he noticed the curiosity in her tone, watching as she, rather adorably, tried to copy the human mannerism of stroking her chin in thought, her three fingers rubbing against the bottom of her vocalizer making the display rather funny, but endearing, "Its an interesting thought, eh?"

"I'll admit," she began, finally lowering her arm as she landed both hands on her lap, "Its definitely intriguing."

Suddenly, a thought popped into his head, and his grin only widened, the commander turning fully towards his quarian partner, "What if...we gave it a try? Turn off our translators for a little bit?"

Her head snapped to look at him, her look meek, but she didn't make any immediate objection to the suggestion. In fact, she seemed to be onboard with the idea, the twin orbs behind her mask narrowing in thoughtful contemplation. Finally, she looked up at him, shrugging carelessly as a smile graced her lips, eyes widening gradually, "Sure...why not?"

Clapping his hands on his lap, licking his lips, he turned to her and contemplated how best to approach this. After about a minute, he nodded again, bringing up his omni-tool, "Guess I'll go first...here we go." After finding the universal translator buried under numerous subprograms and applications, he finally found the app itself and pressed the command to halt the process. There was a noticeable click, but other than that, no other indication from the wrist-worn device that anything had changed, even as he closed his omni-tool and turned back to Tali.

At least until she spoke.

"Neiilm xe nah rara'set meh deh?" Tali asked. He blinked several times until he realized his translator was now offline, and what he was hearing was his girlfriend's unfiltered, untranslated voice for the first time. He had expected her actual voice to change, but it didn't: only the words changed. He had absolutely no clue what she had said, which only caused him to become more curious. He had heard bits and pieces of khelish before, but never in complete sentences, and never quite like this.

"Geja meki geh?" she asked, this time sounding a little more frustrated. He could only grin, offering a reply of his own.

"Works great," he stated, "Can't understand a word you're saying."

While he couldn't understand anything she was saying, she could understand him. The quarian gave a quick nod, before bringing up her own omni-tool to deactivate hers. He frantically held up a hand to halt her, and thankfully, she noticed before she was able to deactivate hers. She looked up at him quizically, confused as to why he would suddenly want to stop her.

No point to this if we both can't understand each other. That'd just be chaos. Have to take this slow.

He made sure to relay this fact to Tali, and the quarian gave another nod of understanding. He quickly disengaged his own, turning back to her with a wide grin, "Well...that was certainly a whole different experience."

"What did I sound like?" Tali queried, omni-tool poised and awaiting her own turn. She sounded anxious, almost as if expecting a negative response to her unfiltered voice.

He was quick to assuage her doubts, holding up a hand defensively, "Don't worry, you didn't sound any different than usual...aside from a bunch of words I don't recognize leaving your mouth. You...sounded pretty much exactly like I expected."

She seemed reassured by this, giving a quick nod, "That's...good. Very good. Glad to hear it."

He frowned, cocking his head at her, "What...did you expect? That I'd somehow find your voice less appealing without a translator?"

"Maybe."

He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he reached forward and wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her against his side and rubbing her hip soothingly, "Well, don't worry. I've never had a problem with your voice before and, translator or no translator, that hasn't changed. It won't change."

He was initially met with silence, but before he could speak again, the quarian simply pulled away from him gently, nodding, "I know..." she then looked up at him, a grin clearly hiding underneath her visor, "...just wanted to hear you get all sappy again."

He chuckled, "Ohhhhhh, you're a piece of work, Tali'Zorah." But I love you all the same.

She just giggled lightly under her breath, shaking her head, "Much obliged."

Once the two of them finished laughing for a minute or two, they were finally composed enough to continue with their little social experiment, Shepard clearing his throat as he turned back to her, cracking his neck in the process as a sort of pseudo-preparation for what was to come, "Now...its your turn. This time...I'm going to see if I can teach you a few human words, yeah?"

She pondered this idea at first, not sure if she was ready to try this new idea he had in mind. Ultimately though, she didn't see any real reason not to go through with it, and after a brief moment of composure, she gave a brief, but firm, nod.

A ghost of a smile, followed by a larger one forming, "Okay...turn off your translator, and just follow my lead, okay?"

"Okay," she replied simply, before using a single finger to tap at her omni-tool, disabling her translator instantly. From this point forward...well, things were going to get interesting for the quarian.

There was a moment of silence that followed the action, the two of them staring aimlessly at each other, not speaking a single word. The room itself offered no respite, sharing in their silentium as even the external milieu was dampened and muted. Tali simply sat there, fingers twisting and pulling at one another, while Shepard thought of where to take this. What word should he start off with? Obviously a basic one, but none came to mind at first. However, after about two seconds, he was quickly able to think of one, and he shook his head as he realized the obviousness of it. He had to stop himself from hitting his head out of annoyance towards his denseness.

What better word to start off with than your own name?

"Tali?" he began, only to realize she wouldn't understand him. The quarian slowly turned to face him, only able to note the questioning tone of his voice, and not the actual question itself. She cocked her head comically, and he moved to repeat his statement, only to pull back once he realized the futility of it. Sighing, scratching his stubble, he turned towards her, cleared his throat, and simply said, "John."

She remained silent, so he chose to repeat the word again, hoping that by repeating it she would realize he was giving her a word to try and pronounce, "John."

It took her a second, but she had always been a quick learner. She pieced together what he was trying to do even without knowing what he was saying, and the sound of a cleared throat could be heard as she verbally prepared herself. After one shaky breath, she spoke, her voice sounding strained as it tried to regurgitate the alien word presented to her, "Joahn?"

He shook his head, leaning closer as he made sure to enunciate the entire word (which was difficult, given it was a single syllable word), "John."

"Joan?"

He had to bite back a laugh at that, knowing he had to do his best to be patient with her. Learning another person's language on the fly was difficult enough, especially when you were learning from somebody who had absolutely no expertise in cross-linguistical education. He was no translator, so he had to work with what he had. Licking his lips, he thought of how to approach it, but decided repetition was probably the best way. Let her hear what he was saying, and emulate it as best as possible: that's how he learnt to speak when he was a kid, so maybe it would work here with Tali?

How hard could it be, really?

Harder than he believed, probably.

"John," he stated again.

This time, Tali seemed to stew on it for a few more seconds, before finally trying again, "John...?"

He grinned pridefully, nodding at her success. Tali saw this and bobbed her head lightly as well, pleased at her own victory at well. However, in her glee, she temporarily forgot that her translator was turned off, turning towards him with a giggle, "Be'let demk'et'exa pedne akamen!"

Grinning a little, he shook his head, pointing towards her mouth in an effort to remind her the translator was still on. Sighing heavily, she raised her omni-tool, tapping at a few times before restoring her translator to full operation, reiterating what she had tried to say before, "Keelah...that was harder than I thought it was going to be. So you're sure I said your name right? I didn't...screw it up? You're not just saying I said it right to make me feel better?"

His grin never lessened, "Not at all. You aced it."

"It was much harder than I thought it would be," she admitted, shrugging her shoulders.

He pursed his lips in thought, patting her shoulder gently, "Its alright. I think it'll take us both sometime to get used to this. But, if we want to make a genuine effort to understand each other, we'll probably have to do this more often."

Tali just scoffed, "I'm not exactly the best teacher. I'm an engineer, not a linguist."

"Neither am I," he reminded, leaning forward and tapping his forehead against her mask, "This is a learning experience for both of us. So how about I try a full sentence this time, just three words, and you try and pronounce what I am saying."

She nodded, "Okay. Hopefully I don't mess it up too badly."

He could only smile, "You won't. I'm sure of it."

And so they did. It was no smooth ride, for sure: they both had their hurdles they needed to circumvent, and trying not to succumb to frustration as confusion set in for both of them was difficult, but they were convinced they could do it, and so they did. Slowly, one word and hours at a time, they learnt to speak sentences to each other. They would definitely need professionals to teach them each other's full languages, but what they were doing was a stepping stone to aiding the other in understanding the linguistical tempest that was cross-species language barriers.

Shepard and Tali had beaten the odds before. They had defied all other expectations already. A language they couldn't speak fluently wasn't going to keep them apart, and if they could surmount that, then anything else was possible.

It was definitely an interesting shore leave.

A/N:

Yeah...I have no excuse for why this prompt took so damn long to write. In all honesty, it shouldn't have. The only excuse I have is that I got wrapped up in gaming for two weeks, placing Halo MCC, Sea of Thieves and Battlefield 1 (and finishing up ReCore), hanging out with friends and being too damn tired to do anything inbetween, that fanfiction just sorta...fell through the cracks. It sucks, and I was growing just as frustrated as I'm sure you guys did with every day that passed without a release, but finally...here it is. Btw, keep in mind that the initial AN at the top of this chapter was written two weeks ago...when I was starting the prompt. Hence the disparity between the tone in that initial AN and this one.

This prompt didn't turn out entirely the way I wanted, and that's fine. I was hoping to go more into depth with the teaching between them, but I just couldn't figure out how to do it. I've never encountered author's block as hard as I have with this, and I knew if I couldn't this way, it'd be another month before it was finished. In the end, I made a decision, and I powered through it. If this isn't how the prompter envisioned, then I apologize. But it was either this, or never end up seeing your prompt realized at all. I hope you can at least say the prompt made an admirable attempt to satisfy what you wanted. If not...then nobody is more disappointed than me in the final product.

Hopefully, with this prompt done, I can finally move on and get back to (semi) normal posting. I know that sounds like I've turned this prompt into a sacrificial lamb, but that wasn't my intention. My writing ethos ever since my initial first few fics has always been to give everything I write the greatest amount of attention possible, but with this prompt...I just couldn't do it. I tried my hardest, but it just wasn't happening. In the end, I did the best I could with what conviction I had...and this is what came out of it.

Now, this following announcement you can either take as good or bad news, depending how you view Flashpoint. As of this prompt being released, I am no longer adding any new prompts to my Flashpoint outline. What prompts have been posted before this prompt's upload will be the ones I write (which leaves me 12-11 prompts left after this to write). The reason for this is because I've come up with a whole bunch of new story ideas, and one of them I was hoping to fit into Flashpoint's original upload slot. This does not mean Flashpoint is being cancelled...all it means is that I need time to actually write this new story's outline, and I can't do that with time being juggled between both EQC and Flashpoint...one of them has to be put on hiatus. So with that said, this is both good and bad news...good, because it means I'm writing another story, and bad, because you people who love Flashpoint may not get more of it for a while.

So I'll end my author's note there. I'm still a tad disappointed regarding this prompt, but hopefully we'll be back to full operation now that I can start Chapter 8 of EQC and that FABT is now officially wrapped up. Here's hoping, anyway.

Keelah se'lai, troopers!