Chapter 14 – Octopus's Garden

Alfred wondered why the hell he was on a boat.

Boats and Alfred had never really gotten along. He was fine with a small jaunt out onto an ocean or lake, but he never really felt the need to go on a long-term ride on a boat. Or ship. Whatever you wanted to call it.

Planes, since his people had invented them, were always more his speed. He had always wanted to fly ever since he was small. He loved flying; the sky was his domain.

So seriously, what the hell was he doing on a boat?

As a meme from a few years ago went through his head from that thought ("I'm on a boat!"), he heard an evil laugh coming from Arthur. Oh yeah, that's why.

Alfred had found an ad for a "Pirate Experience Tour." According to the website associated with it, the tour took the passengers on a real life pirate ship and sailed them around for a day to give tourists the "real pirate experience." It wasn't really very pirate like except for the fact it was a real pirate ship, but, of course, Alfred had immediately thought of Arthur, his boyfriend and ex-pirate.

So now he was stuck on a boat with Arthur slipping into pirate mode.

Alfred sighed and got out his iPod, hoping that if maybe he acted like he didn't know who Arthur was people wouldn't associate them. Seriously, and Artie's always saying that I'm the embarrassing one. He pointedly ignored Arthur with one leg on the railing, acting like he was everyone's boss.

So Alfred just sat back and watched the waves, humming along with the song that was playing. He really tried not to pay attention to what Arthur was doing to embarrass them both and he figured it was better that way.

Right until one of the workers dumped Arthur right beside him.

"Who the bloody hell do you think you are, you bilge rat? I'll throw you overboard faster than you can - !" Arthur was raving, similar to the way he did when he was drunk. Alfred quickly wrapped his arms around his partner to make sure he didn't actually throw anyone over.

"Please try to not let your companion get to carried away, sir. This may be a piratical experience, but he's disturbing the other passengers." The worker gave them both a stern look, and then continued on his way.

Alfred gave him a sheepish look, and then turned back to his crazy pirate boyfriend.

"Iggy, you have to behave or they'll throw us overboard. Jeez, and you complain about my behavior." Alfred rolled his eyes as Arthur came aware of himself and blushed bright red.

"Don't call me, Iggy!" He hissed, embarrassed by the way he had been behaving.

"Yeah, yeah." Alfred went back to listening to his iPod until the song he was listening to made him pause. "Hey, Artie, you sailed all over the world, right?"

"Yes." Arthur gave a proud smile.

"Do octopi really have gardens?"

It was Arthur's turn to stare at his boyfriend. "Why the bloody hell would an octopus have a bloody garden?"

"It's in the song. You know, Octopus's Garden. See, with all this ocean and stuff around us, it totally is the perfect time to listen to this song." Alfred quickly justified his actions.

"Uh, I guess." Arthur was giving Alfred the look that said, "Oh my God, you are mental."

Like the man who had just been playing pirate had any right to talk.

"You know, I'm fairly sure that was one of the songs they wrote while drugged." Arthur continued. "Octopi don't have gardens."

"I see," Alfred said, a bit disappointed. "But that would be something totally cool to see! Although," he paused, "I guess the premise of the song still stands."

"What premise?"

Alfred grinned and pulled Arthur close to him. "Having a place where it can just be you and someone else without other nations constantly bothering you."

Arthur returned that grin. "Yes, that would be nice."

As they kissed, they distantly heard the guard that had been looking after Arthur shout, "Hey! I told you not to disturb the other passengers."

Still, they ignored the guard. After all, it's not like pirates never did any snogging on their ships.

And this sort of thing actually made Alfred like boats.

AN: Sorry about the late update! I've been really busy with summer classes and a slight lack of inspiration. Also, I've got a chapter planned next week for the 4th of July, but then I won't update the next week due to a combination of summer classes, work, and the final week of a show I'm in. Still, when I decided to do this song an image of pirate!Arthur got stuck in my head so that's the reason for the random location.