~#~ (Chapter 14)

Jeff slipped back out of the room without speaking to Gordon or Alan. He quietly closed the door behind himself and wandered slowly through the house until he found himself staring at the elevator which would lead him downstairs. With a heavy sigh he pressed the button to call the elevator and let it take him downwards towards the sickroom.

~#~

He paused just in front of the island's medical room and rested his head gently against the door. Brains and the three medic-based agents had hinted that he was welcome to enter the room to visit with Scott and Virgil if he wished to but Jeff himself had been unwilling to do so. He found himself wondering why he'd ended up outside the room after leaving Gordon and Alan and stood with his head against the door for several minutes trying to pluck up the courage to either go inside or walk away.

He stepped backwards from the door, wrapped his arms tightly around himself and leaned heavily on the wall further down the corridor. He dearly wanted to say his goodbyes to Scott and Virgil but wasn't sure that he could cope with seeing his two much-loved children in their deceased state.

~#~

Eventually the decision was taken out of his hands when the door to the sickroom swung open and Brains stepped out. The bespectacled man pulled the door closed behind himself and turned to walk away only to find himself badly startled when he realised that he wasn't alone in the corridor.

"M-M-Mr Tracy," he called softly. "Are-are you alright?"

Jeff tightened his self-hug and bit hard into his bottom lip as he shook his head. "No," he whispered. "No, Brains, I'm not."

Brains walked slowly over to Jeff and tentatively rested a hand on his shoulder. "Do-do…did you want to go-go-go inside?" he asked. "Do-do you want me to get Ky-Ky-Kyrano for you?"

Jeff nodded silently and turned his face against the wall. Brains stepped a short distance away and spoke quietly into his watch. He returned to Jeff and hovered beside him with his hand resting on the sleeve of Jeff's shirt. "Ky-Kyrano will be here sh-sh-shortly."

~#~

There was a soft click when Kyrano pushed open the door between the storage room and the corridor. He made quite a sight, wearing a large chequered apron over his traditional pastel blue robes but regardless of how he looked, the gentle Malaysian man strode down the corridor and pulled Jeff away from the wall and into a tight embrace.

Brains moved away as Jeff buried his head in Kyrano's neck and hung, trembling, in his arms. Kyrano rocked him slowly from side to side, petting him and stroking his hair as he spoke softly to him in his native Malay. The soft lilting language had never failed to soothe his friend and this time was no exception. Jeff soon fell still and the quivering against Kyrano's chest slowed until it eventually stopped altogether.

Several minutes after he'd stopped trembling, the Tracy patriarch pulled himself out of Kyrano's arms and looked very apologetic. He sniffed slightly and then fished in his pocket and pulled out the napkin that he had stuffed in there earlier. He wiped his eyes, blew his nose and then chuckled at the scandalised look on Kyrano's face. "It was used at breakfast," he explained. "…and I told Mother I'd probably be needing it again before the end of the day so it made sense to keep it."

Kyrano shrugged and nodded his head towards the sickroom door. "Did you wish to pay a visit to Masters Scott and Virgil?" he asked. "Or was that not the intention of your trip down here?"

Jeff let out a wet snort and blew his nose again before answering. "I'm not entirely sure on my intentions," he admitted. "In fact I'm not sure that I had any. The boys, Gordon and Alan, are in the TV room. They're comforting each other so I left them to it. I've already upset both myself and Mother this morning and I didn't want to do that again so I guess I automatically walked the opposite way and ended up here. I've…I've been standing out here for a while, trying to decide whether I want to go in or not but…but…" A furrow appeared across Jeff's forehead and he shrugged. "I just don't know."

"Would it help if I accompanied you?" Kyrano asked softly. "Master Brains, would it be acceptable for Mr Tracy to enter the room at this time?"

Brains nodded. "I-I-I believe so," he replied. "If you bear-bear with me I'll just…I'll just…I'll check."

Kyrano pulled the apron over his head and walked back down the corridor, leant through the door to the storeroom and put it on a shelf. He paced gently back to where Jeff was standing and then turned around and waited for Brains to reappear.

~#~

"S-Scott is ready for you, Mr T-Tracy," Brains said softly when he stepped back out of the sickroom. "V-Virgil is a li-little more complicated. We-we've been mainly c-c-concentrating on S-Scott for obvious re-re-reasons so V-V-Virgil is not quite r-ready."

Jeff nodded and followed Brains as he quietly stepped back through the door.

~#~

Scott was lying in the centre of the heavily air-conditioned room on one of the hospital-type beds. His head was resting on a soft pillow and a sheet had been pulled up to his bare shoulders.

Jeff tentatively stepped towards the bed but ground to a halt several feet before he reached it. Kyrano stopped beside him and gently rested his hand on the small of Jeff's back. "Take your time, Mr Tracy. There is no need to hurry."

Jeff nodded and sucked in a deep breath. The frigid air from the sickroom hit his lungs and he coughed quietly several times before he, this time more carefully, took his next breath. He stepped slightly nearer to Scott and then stopped again and looked around the room. "Where is everybody?" he asked quietly. "…and where's…where's…"

Brains moved to stand beside Scott's head and reached down to gently stroke his hair. "V-Virgil's in the s-s-surgical suite," he replied quietly. "As-as-as are our…um…g-guests. They…they're making Virgil pre-pre-presentable so that you can s-see him. He…he may not be com-com-completely ready b-but it will sa-save you from having to go-go-go through this twice."

Jeff nodded again and took another step forwards. He paused then took another, slower, step and then one more until he was level with the bed. Brains stepped backwards so Jeff could have some quiet time with his son but when Kyrano tried to pull back as well, Jeff baulked and made a grab for his arm. "No," he croaked. "Stay. I…I need you to get me through this."

Kyrano inclined his head slightly and remained in place beside his friend. Jeff shuffled forwards until he was standing beside Scott's head and then crouched down until his face was level with his son's. "Scotty," he whispered. "Scotty, I'm so sorry you had to leave us. I know you loved us all but I guess that you just couldn't face the idea of life without Virgil. The two of you always did have a near-symbiotic relationship, right from the moment he was born…" Jeff paused and bowed his head as tears flowed freely from his eyes. "I…I guess we should have known that if we lost one of you then we'd probably lose the other but I…I…it shouldn't have happened."

Jeff reached out and stroked his fingertips against Scott's pale forehead in the gentlest of feather-light caresses. "You should have stayed," he croaked. "Scotty. You should have stayed."

Jeff's lip wobbled as he pulled his hand away from the cold, lifeless body that used to be his first-born son. He dropped backwards until he was sitting on the floor and soon found himself wrapped in Kyrano's arms as he gasped for breath. "I…I…I don't know what to do," he cried. "How…how can we go on without them? Sc-sc-Scott…Virgil…how, Kyrano? How?"

Kyrano found himself rocking Jeff gently from side to side, just as he had in the corridor not too many minutes before. "You will endure, Mr Tracy," he said softly. "Just as you did before, you will endure. You will remain strong and with the help of Masters John, Gordon and Alan you will come through this complete, whole and unbroken."

Jeff sniffed wetly against his shoulder and coughed a little. "Before?" he croaked. "You know as well as I do that I barely survived Lucy's passing. If it hadn't been for the boys then I probably wouldn't have done…and now…now I've lost two of them as well." Jeff let out a ragged sob that turned into a full blown, wrenching cough which left him breathless.

Kyrano rubbed his back vigorously and then pushed him upright. "You will survive this, Mr Tracy," he said sternly. "Just as you did before. It is an awful and distressing thing that only three of your boys remain but those three are going to need you now, more than ever before. Master Gordon has been through much in the last few days and seemed on the point of breaking this morning. Master Alan is confused and unsure of everything that is going on and Master John has been isolated on Thunderbird 5 where he has been unable to give or receive comfort to, or from, anyone. The three of them are going to need your help, your love and your support to get them through this. In turn they will give you the help, love and support that you need to do the same."

Jeff nodded and dropped his chin against his chest. "I know," he whispered. "…but it's…it's…" Jeff gave up trying to find the words and shrugged helplessly.

Kyrano nodded sympathetically and smiled as Brains appeared with a chair. He helped Jeff get off the floor and pressed him into the chair before gently rubbing his shoulder. "You need to make your peace with Master Scott, Mr Tracy," he advised quietly. "Do not leave the last words spoken to him be those of anger and upset. Make your peace with him before Master Virgil is brought in."

Jeff wiped his cheeks with the base of both hands and then let out a short barking laugh when Kyrano pulled a handkerchief from somewhere within his robes and handed it to him. "Thank you again, my friend. If nothing else it will save the tableware."

Kyrano smiled and dipped his head in reply before stepping back just slightly to let Jeff's quiet words to Scott remain his own.