Author's Note: Happy Friday! Thank you all soooooooooo much for the reviews! Some of the reviews I receive are so kind and wonderful that I actually sit here, smiling like a moron. Thank you! I'm so pleased that no one hated the last chapter, I was sort of worried. And what about the last episode? Insane! But, there was that wonderful nugget of Blair/Dan dialogue, even if it was about Serena, and Chuck and Nate joined in. Whatever. Anything you can get, right guys? So here's chapter fourteen. Blair and Dan will get even closer, or more twisted, depending on how you look at it. Hope you all like it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Chapter Fourteen
"You think your days are uneventful
And no one ever thinks about you
She goes her own way
She goes her own way
You think your days are ordinary
And no one ever thinks about you
But we're all the same
And she can hardly breathe without you."
-Keane

"I believe they call this the walk of shame."

Dan winced, stopping in his tracks. He had been sneaking to his bedroom, hoping the early morning hour would prevent anyone from noticing he hadn't returned the night before. Luck was obviously not on his side this morning, because there was his little sister, sitting on the couch in the near-dark, eating cereal. His shoulders fell and he shuffled over to the living room, lowering himself into an armchair defeatedly.

Quickly, he said, "Vanessa had a rough night last night- fight with her parents- I spent the night at Ruby's."

"In a tux?" Jenny remarked, raising her eyebrows. "You might want to change your story before you tell Dad though, Vanessa came over and hung out with us last night."

"Is Dad mad that I didn't come back?" Dan asked quietly, leaning toward his sister.

She shrugged, "I don't know- I went to bed at, like, eleven."

Dan sighed, hoping he was still in the clear.

"I hope you used protection Dan," Jenny commented. "If you get Serena pregnant that would be weird."

Serena.

Dan almost gagged at the idea.

Recovering swiftly he said, "Jenny, I wasn't with Serena-"

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, big brother," she smirked. "I was just saying."

Dan nodded, "Right."

Jenny spooned some of her cereal into her mouth.

"Listen, Jen, can you please keep this between us," he whispered. "I don't want Dad freaking out."

Rolling her eyes kindly, Jenny said, "I never saw you sneak in."

"Thank you!" he said, leaning in and kissing her on the cheek.

He disappeared into the bathroom and took a quick shower, dressing in some flannel pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, before retiring to his room. As much as he hated washing the smell of Blair off of him, he had to. If his father walked up to him in the early morning and smelled lilacs and foreign shampoo, he'd probably start asking questions. But Dan knew he'd smell Blair again, he's hold her again, he'd be with her again.

Laying over the covers of his bed, Dan stared at the ceiling.

Blair Waldorf stole my virginity, he thought with a smirk.

After falling asleep under several blankets on the roof, wrapped in each other's arms, they had woken up an hour or so before opening. Dressing quickly and picking everything up, they made their way back through the museum, holding hands and sneaking furtive glances at one another. The security guard had smiled at them kindly, and then waved them out of the building. It took only a few minutes to hail a cab, and before they knew it, they were snuggling in the back seat of a taxi, dreading the moment it would pull up to Blair's house. But it did, inevitably, and they kissed one last time before Blair opened the door, ready to step onto the empty sidewalk.

Instead of getting out, she turned and took Dan's hand in hers, "Thank you," she said sincerely. "For everything."

He responded with another kiss, and then she had stepped outside, disappearing behind the door that had been opened for her by the doorman.

All the way home he had been daydreaming, thinking of her. He couldn't help it. She was just so beautiful, so perfect in all her imperfections, so amazing with all her flaws. Every chip or fracture made his heart ache for her. He didn't care if she could be a bitch, he could be self-righteous. He didn't care if she was a little shallow sometimes, deep down, she cared for more than she let on. She cared for Dan. She loves me, he reminded himself smiling. And I love her, despite all of her flaws. Because of all her flaws.

Really? Every single one of them?

There was no walk of shame for Blair. No one was home- well, except Dorota, but even she wasn't awake to see Blair dazedly walk across the foyer and up to her bedroom with a smile on her face. She was walking on a cloud and drifting in and out of reality as she showered and slipped into an old Yale t-shirt and crashed into sleep under her covers. It even amazed her that she could feel this happy- this euphoric! But it was happening, and she was relishing it.

That is, she was enjoying it until she woke up.

Blair had slept for almost seven hours, so it was nearly noon when she awoke. She lay in her bed thinking back to her birthday. Everyone forgetting, Dan, the roof of the Met, the kitten. A meow issued from somewhere under her bed and she hung her hand over the side until the kitten, so far unnamed, crept into the open. Blair pulled her new pet onto the bed and placed her on the duvet beside her.

She hadn't meant to lose her virginity to Dan Humphrey.

"Shit!" she hissed out loud, causing the kitten to jump.

How had she gotten this far? How had it happened like this?

A knock sounded from the door and she groaned, "What?!"

"Miss Blair," Dorota's voice called. "Phone for you."

Trying desperately to clear her mind and abate her anxiety, Blair got up and walked to the door, opening it, she took the phone from the maid.

Dorota whispered, "I be leaving now for my day off."

Blair waved her away and closed the door, frustrated and distracted.

"Hello?"

"Blair-Bear!" her father's voice gushed into her ear. "I am a horrible and pitiful excuse for a father."

Knotting her eyebrows, she blurted, "What?"

"Your birthday- I didn't call you or anything yesterday!" Harold Waldorf reminded her.

Realization dawned on Blair. She had been so distraught over the whole losing-her-virginity-to-Dan Humphrey-thing that she hadn't even thought about everyone forgetting her birthday.

Shaking her head, Blair said, "Oh- Dad, it's fine."

"No!" he said. "I'm sure everyone was so wonderful and spoiled you- and here I was, so busy with the new house... How can you ever forgive me?"

"Dad, you're already forgive-"

He cut her off, "Why don't you come and visit next weekend? You can leave on Tuesday night and be here for the whole Thanksgiving weekend."

"That sounds really nice, but I don't know."

The idea of spending a weekend in France, where no one celebrated Thanksgiving, with her father and his gay partner, in a huge house in Lyon, actually made Blair cringe. At this point though, all she could think about was Dan and her plan for hurting Serena and Nate, and the previous night. She could feel the pressure rising in her throat. Her stomach churned. All she wanted was to get her father off the phone, and she felt as if she was clutching at straws to do so.

She resisted the urge to sigh, "I'll have to talk to Mom about it, okay?" she didn't wait for a reply. "I'll call you when I have an answer. I have to go though, love you," and she hung up.

Blair sat in the center of her bed, trying to will the harsh anxiety away. Concentrating with unparalleled focus, she tried to think only about her breathing. In. Out. In. Out. But other thoughts began to wriggle themselves into her psyche.

I love you.

She actually covered her eyes as the words rushed back to her.

I love you too.

Her teeth began to grind together.

Just because you sleep with someone doesn't mean you're in love with them, it doesn't even mean you're close to them, she told herself.

But her heart was telling her otherwise.

Losing control did not bode well with Blair Waldorf, and she stood up, beginning to pace the room. The whole affair with Dan had started off as a way of getting back at Nate and Serena, an easy way to screw both of them over. Killing two birds with one stone. How had she allowed herself to get so involved? At first it had been fun and silly to make-out with Dan, to allow the Brooklyn boy to think she needed him, to let him play with her hair. But now- How had she let those three words escape her mouth? How had she let him get so intimate with her? She hadn't cared if Dan got hurt in the beginning, but now he was being so sweet. He cared. She didn't want to hurt him now, she didn't want him to love her. But she didn't want to love him either. And she didn't really. She had only said that she did because he had been so nice. Hadn't she?

The doubt that dropped like a five ton stone in the bottom of her stomach made her feel heavy with sick dread. Her legs grew weak and she began to frantically shake her hands as if they'd fallen asleep. It felt as if her stomach lining had been turned inside out, like her insides had been shaken up and nothing was properly aligned anymore. This weakness made her pace faster, made her thoughts run at a dangerous pace, trying to latch onto something that wasn't this panic, that wasn't any of the things that led to this panic.

Audrey Hepburn saying, "The British are coming! The British are coming!" while rattling her keys over her head in Breakfast at Tiffany's.

Mickey Mouse.

Her grandmother's old trunk of vintage party clothes.

The dollhouse that had been custom-made for her in second grade.

Her father and mother, holding hands and smiling while Christmas tree shopping in sixth grade.

Nate asking her out on their first date.

Getting drunk for the first time with Serena.

Laying beside Dan on the roof of the Met as he rambled silly poetry to her off the top of his head, making her actually giggle.

Listening to his laugh through the skin and bones and muscles of his chest as they lay together, counting the stars.

"Goddamnit!" she shrieked, stomping her foot.

She couldn't get away from him.

The doubt that had fallen into her stomach began to writhe and squirm violently. Feeling the desperation sink in, Blair stalked into her bathroom, slamming the door behind her. With shaking, angry hands, she wrenched the taps of her bathtub until the shower was running, steaming and hot. The fog began to fill the room, and she knelt on the floor before the toilet, feeling the pity and despair cloud her vision. Tears ran, hot and heavy down her face, and the sobs shook her body, but the twisting panic in her stomach wouldn't relent, and she needed the only release she felt she had. Because her consciousness was dwindling, and because she felt she had no control anymore, she grabbed her hair in one hand, and stuck her free index finger down her throat. Her tonsils contracted, but her whole gag reflex was so used to this routine that she received no response. It wasn't until she had the finger as far back as she could go that she felt the bile rise, rise, and then finally exit. Because she hadn't had breakfast that morning, there was nothing she could really fight with. So Blair stood on trembling limbs and gathered as much food as she could, before laying it all on the bathroom floor and consuming the majority of it; it was ammunition in an ongoing battle against herself.

"Is Miss Waldorf expecting you, Dan?" the doorman, Peter, asked as Dan made his way toward Blair's building.

After many visits to Blair's house, and several occasions of dropping her off at the front door, Dan felt the doorman had an understanding of what was going on. He had seen them kiss goodbye several times, but he was probably still seeing Nate enter and leave the building and kiss Blair goodbye too. Upon arriving at the hotel for Blair's birthday surprise, Peter had denied Dan's request of letting him into the elevator without telling Blair first. After a long-running explanation of the day, and an embarrassing confession of how he felt he was falling for Blair, the doorman had given him a smile with old, shining eyes, and allowed him upstairs. Now the man smiled at Dan as he approached, and gave him a friendly handshake.

Smiling in return, and because he just couldn't stop grinning all day, Dan said, "I was hoping to surprise her again."

"She got in pretty early this morning," he raised an eyebrow. "You sure she's awake?"

Rolling his eyes good-naturedly, Dan said, "I think I'll take the risk."

"Suit yourself," Peter said, opening the door. Dan stepped inside and headed for the elevator. Peter called after him, in an all too teasing manner, "Try the fetal position if she attacks!"

Giving Peter a little chuckle, Dan disappeared into the elevator and pressed the familiar shining button before him. He watched the doorman disappear from view as the oak-panneled doors slid shut.

After finally falling asleep in his bed earlier that morning, Dan had slept for only four hours before Jenny's hair-drying had woken him up. He tried to fall back asleep to the dull roar of the dryer, but she then began to belt out pop lyrics while she straightened her hair, so he had given up and taken cover on the fire escape outside his bedroom window. With the window mostly closed and the noise of classical musical blasting from the next building, he managed to shut his sister and the whole of the loft from his mind. He peered down his street, glimpsing the river and the bridge. Taking a deep breath, he had thought about where he stood with Blair. He tried to be hard on himself, tried to scold and berate himself for falling for and sleeping with, essentially, the enemy. But he just felt so happy and content with it all, he couldn't manage to be self-righteous and hateful too.

Unfortunately for Dan, his father had noted his inability to return home the night before. Because of a problem with a damaged painting at work though, Rufus had quickly left the loft, telling his son that they'd go out for dinner that night, just them, and have a nice long talk about curfews and girls.

So, Dan had six hours until his father would grill, and possibly ground him, and he was going to make the most of it.

Because of Blair's confession of loving him, and because of the wonderful time they had had the night before, Dan figured going over to her house to surprise her would be fine. He knew it was risky to show up unannounced, when Nate or Serena could be lurking around, but he didn't care anymore. With every footstep and subway stop a new line of poetry blossomed in his head. A story centered around a character falling in love with a girl, much like Blair, began to trickle through the crevices and over the grooves of his mind. He laughed at this idea though. That's called an autobiography, moron, he reminded himself. But the poetry flowed still, like a dam being removed from a flooded river. There was no room or tolerance for worry and caution.

The elevator opened and Dan stepped into the now-familiar Waldorf foyer. Everything was as it usually was, neat, clean, organized, and pristine. The whole penthouse was eerily silent though, like it was empty or forgotten. Not even Dorota entered the hall to ask who had entered. The quiet was calm, and completely unassuming, but something made Dan swallow hard. Something wasn't right, and he could feel it.

With hesitant steps he mounted the stairs and arrived at Blair's door. Knocking lightly, he walked inside.

The room was empty.

The bed was unmade, with the covers thrown back. Clothes were discarded all along the floor, and the small kitten lay curled up in one of Blair's sweaters on the carpet by the foot of the bed. The curtains were half open, and what light could manage to get into the room was falling across the floor in wilting slats of winter sunlight. Across the room, behind the bathroom door, Dan could hear the shower running, but he also heard the sound of someone retching violently. Worry kicked in and he hurried across the room, his hand on the doorknob. He stopped himself before he opened it, remembering that he was invading Blair's privacy as it was.

With a hesitant knock against the wood, Dan called, "Blair? Are you all right?"

There was no response.

Dan waited for a few minutes, by which time the fearful sounds of vomiting had subsided, quickly followed by the toilet flushing, he then said, "Are you sick?"

No response.

Without thinking, and not quite understanding why he was doing it, Dan opened the door and stepped inside, "Look, Blair, if you're sick you don't have to be embarrassed-" He cut himself short once the intense steam had filtered into the bedroom and he could see properly into the bathroom.

Half-leaning against the side of the tub, and half-lying on the bathroom floor was Blair. She was dressed in dark blue silken pajama shorts and a Constance Billard French Club t-shirt. Because of the heat in the room due to the steam, the clothes were sticking to her body and her hair was growing limp and frizzy. Perspiration dotted her forehead and collarbone, but she seemed to pay no notice. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was harsh, as if she was forcing it deeply in and out. Even from where he stood, Dan could see that she was shaking uncontrollably. But these things didn't even frighten him, it was the scene around her that disturbed him. Littering the bathroom floor were empty boxes of cookies and crackers, tupperware with little or no remnants of food left, empty ziploc bags, wrappers for expensive chocolates, the plastic wrapping from fancy cheeses, discarded cartons of yogurt, and two liter bottles of soda. The scene was haunting, but the reason wouldn't click, Dan's brain wouldn't allow him to register what had actually happened- what was actually happening.

Blair hadn't heard Dan come into the penthouse, or even into her bedroom. The shower had been on full blast and the sound of choking and sputtering was like a volcano erupting right within her ear canal. It wasn't until after she had flushed the toilet for the umpteenth time, when the tears were still, slowly seeping down her face, with her forehead rested against the cool surface of the tub, that she realized he was standing in the open doorway of the bathroom. For some reason she didn't move, didn't try to mask what she had done. Something told her she should try to conceal her actions, try to hide this from everyone, especially Dan. But her brain was working in slow motion, and she couldn't quite figure out how to get up or talk.

The heat in the room finally got to Dan and he hurried across the tiles, stepping over the evidence of a binge, and grappled with the knobs of the tub before the water finally shut off, leaving the room a quiet, steaming, mess.

Blair groaned unconsciously, and Dan lowered himself down to her level. He put an arm around her waist and hooked her arm around his shoulder. The sudden upward movement seemed to bring her to her senses slightly and she began to slur words together.

"Dannnnnnn," she pointed to the toilet, panic shooting her into autopilot. She shook the fogginess from her brain and pulled away from him, "No. You shouldn't be here- Y-You should go."

Dan took her shoulders in his hands as she tried to push him out of the door, "Blair, what is wrong? What's happening here?"

She shook her head, new tears leaking from her eyes, "Go."

"I'm not leaving until you explain to me-"

"I don't have to explain anything to you!" she shouted suddenly, the noise surprising herself more than Dan. "Just- Just get out of my house!"

She tried to twist out of his grasp, but he held tight, "Bla-Blair! Stop it!" she fought against his vice, wanting to get away from him, away from the situation, away from life, away from herself. "I'm not leaving you alone-"

"Go away!" her voice was rasping and choked by tears, and her throat ached terribly.

Control was spiraling so far away from her, and it had been so close. Nothing was going her way, nothing was right. Where was the perfect life she deserved? Who were these people who she called friends and family? The people she wanted to be cast in the movie of her life were nowhere in sight. The script was not unfolding the way she had planned. She wasn't the heroine she wanted to be. There was nothing elegant or sophisticated about being picked up off the bathroom floor by the boy she was having an affair with, her breath probably reeking of undigested yogurt and brie.

Because Dan wouldn't let go of her, and because nothing ever went her way, she began to twist with renewed vigor to get out of his grip. When her struggling didn't work she began to hit any surface of his body she could reach; his arms, his chest, his face, his stomach, his shoulders. He endured it all, keeping his hold on her tighter than ever.

When her angry violence slowed and the tears and sobbing took over, she covered her mouth with both of her hands, with her arms held tight against her chest, and buried her eyes in the fabric of Dan's shirt. Slowly, he put his arms around her. She sobbed against him, tears soaking through the material of his shirt as she cried, like she had never cried before. He alternated between rubbing her back, smoothing down her hair, whispering comforting words, and kissing her head, while she cried, hoping to relieve some of the pain.

Finally, when her crying had subsided somewhat, Dan led her over to her bed. They lay down under her covers and she curled up against him, insisting that he put his arms around her while she tried to regain her composure. She knew she was crying because of him, because he had thrown her whole plan off-kilter, because he had taken her by surprise and made her fall in love with him, but even so, she needed him and she was glad he was there to comfort her. Without his kind words of, 'It'll be okay' and 'I'm here, you're all right' and his soft soothing hands working the tension out of her back by simply moving across her skin, she knew his presence had a calming, pleasant effect to it. His smell- his body heat was all she needed.

After an hour or so of lying together, when Blair had gone still and her breathing had returned to normal, Dan whispered, "I wish I had known."

She shook her head against him, "No one knows."

"Your parents don't-"

"They do," she mumbled against his chest. "And Serena."

He rubbed the top of her head with his chin, "You need help."

"I've gotten help-"

"Get it again."

She closed her eyes, though he couldn't see, "Please don't give me a prescription right now, okay? Can't you be the one person in my life who just lets me be?"

"Blair, this isn't okay. I don't want you to get hurt-"

Too late.

She scoffed, "Why'd you even come here?" she pulled away from his arms and sat on the edge of the bed, with her back to him. "You should never have found out."

"Hey," he said beratingly. Tugging at the hem of her shirt, he said, "Come here."

She glanced at him and saw the sad smile on his face, "Why?" she snapped.

"We don't have to talk about anything you don't want to," he told her.

She contemplated this, and because she was still shaking and shivering, she crawled into his embrace and took a deep breath of his body spray, feeling her nerves start to unwind, finally.

Blair was so near to falling asleep that she thought she was dreaming when she heard Serena's voice floating through her mind, followed shortly by Nate's.

"Baby B!" the excited blonde's shrillness crept upstairs. "Time to party!"

Then Nate said, "Serena, she might be asleep-"

"She better not be asleep!" Serena yelled over-dramatically for Blair to hear.

Blair opened her eyes, realizing that they were getting very close to her bedroom, probably walking up the stairs. She winced when she realized they would probably throw the door open without knocking and attack her on her bed. Dan was beside her, alert, sitting up. They exchanged a look of understanding and he grabbed his shoes and disappeared into the closet. Blair shot up and quickly closed her bathroom door, shutting the evidence of her 'habits' away from the other two.

She started to walk toward her bed again, hoping she looked calm and casual, when the door swung open and Serena breezed in. Nate followed behind her, looking sheepish and bashful as he allowed Serena to take center stage.

Blair tried to pretend like she cared when Serena approached her and took her hands in hers, "Blair, I am the worst best friend in the world."

Yes, you are, Blair wanted to say acidly, but she just gave Serena a quizzical look.

"And we've agreed that Nate is the worst boyfriend."

"What are you talking about?" Blair asked, almost desperately, afraid Nate was going to break up with her and Serena was going to tell her that they were going to be together.

Serena exclaimed, "YOUR BIRTHDAY!"

Oh right, that again.

"You know I'm so scatterbrained, and school has been so crazy that we didn't even realize. I mean I haven't even looked at a calendar since September- Well, until this morning," the blonde said in a rush. "There's really no excuse for it and we are teeeeeeeeeeeeeeerribly sorry."

Blair thought bitterly about the fact that Serena spoke so plainly for both of them. From where he was crouched in the shadows of the closet, Dan was thinking acidic thoughts along the same lines. They shouldn't have forgotten at all. Her best friend and her boyfriend couldn't remember her birthday? He was appalled. And why can't Nate apologize for himself? he silently asked, scowling at the door. Coward.

Yeah, way to have Serena do all your dirty work, Blair wanted to shake her head.

"We want to make it up to you," Nate said.

Serena's face lit up, "Yes! We want to take you out today- We're doing whatever you want!"

"Guys, that's really nice," Blair said. "But I've been feeling a little shitty today, I kind of just want to sleep."

"No!" Serena nearly shouted desperately. "You can't stay inside! You want me to call Dan and he can pick us up something from Magnolia and bring it over?"

Blair wasted no time, stumbling over her own tongue to say 'No!' but Serena had already dialed Dan's number and had pressed it to her ear.

Within the closet Dan's ears had perked up, but he figured he would just not answer the call and they would never guess he was at Blair's, only a few feet away. Unfortunately, Dan's phone wasn't on silent. An irritating electronic version of a song by The Strokes began to drift from the closet. Blair began to cough and wheeze, hoping to block out the sound. Dan began to slap his pockets, scrambling to find his phone, nervous to be heard.

Serena looked around, "Do you hear that?"

Blair nearly began hacking up a lung, choking, "Hear what?"

Finally, Dan found his phone in his jacket pocket and, with shaking hands, ignored the call. As soon as the voice mail sounded to Serena she looked at the phone and hung up.

"That was weird."

Miraculously, Blair's fit of coughing subsided and she asked, "What's weird?"

"I think he ignored my call," Serena replied.

Trying to act naturally, Blair simply asked, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Nate furrowed his eyebrows, but Blair was so desperate for the topic of Dan to be done with, that she spoke quickly, "Maybe it was an accident- Who knows? The point is that I don't really want anything from Magnolia."

"Blaaaaaaaaaaair!" Serena mock-whined, but it sounded irritating all the same. "We have to celebrate your birthday somehow!"

"I appreciate that, but I already celebrated and I feel like shit," she gave them a weak smile. "Let's celebrate some other day, okay?"

Serena frowned, and Nate looked between both of them uselessly.

Pouting a little, Serena suggested, "Can't we at least spend time with you here?" her eyes brightened. "We could all lay in your mom's bed and watch old movies! If you're feeling better later we can order Chinese or pizza and drink champagne 'til we fall over."

Panic ripped through Blair's chest like a knife-wound. There was no way she could spend the day with Serena and Nate- Dan was still in the closet! If she agreed to a day of old movies and junk food it might distract her from thinking about Dan and her feelings, but it would also mean that Serena, Nate, and she would go straight to her mother's room and stay there for the rest of the day. How could Dan get out without being seen or heard? Biting her tongue, she began to think furiously. She had to get Serena and Nate out of the house for a long enough period of time for Dan to get out and disappear before they came back.

"All right," Blair nodded. "You guys go get popcorn and candy from Blockbuster- I'll stay here and get everything ready in my mom's room."

Within the closet Dan listened, admiring Blair's quickness, but he frowned. He didn't want to leave her, he wanted to stay and make sure she didn't throw up the junk food she would probably eat later that day. He didn't want to leave her with unfeeling viciousness of Nate and Serena. Dan felt as if he needed to protect her, to help her, to be there for her. But by agreeing to their idea of spending the day at her house, Blair was pretty much saying, 'Dan, you need to leave,' and he knew it was because of what had happened, because he had found out she had some sort of eating disorder. In the darkness of his confined space, he cringed.

Clapping like a little kid, Serena grinned, "Okay! Come on, Natie!" she grabbed his arm and they left the room.

Once the two were safely in the elevator and Blair had heard the lift begin to descend, she closed her bedroom door and walked over to the closet. Opening the door, she watched Dan walk out, a little angry, a little disappointed.

"We should wait a minute or so before you leave-"

"Blair, when is this going to stop?" he asked her curtly, then turning to sarcasm. "I love hiding in your closet and all, but- I mean, come on."

She looked at him for a few long seconds, not saying a word.

He shook his head, "Why are we playing this twisted game?" he looked deeply into her eyes. "I care about you and I want to help you- How can I do that when we're supposed to be a secret?"

"I don't need anyone's help-"

"Blair," he cut her off. "I found you on the bathroom floor-"

She nearly jumped as she shouted, "Stop it! Just stop!"

He stared at her, watching as her face tinged pink and her chest rose and fell heavily.

"I do not need anyone's help," she said with finality.

He was reaching the end of his rope. He loved her, he knew this much, but she was too confusing, too drastic and stubborn. What could he do? He couldn't stand this secrecy anymore, but he wasn't sure he could stand not having her in his life either. What would he do if she simply refused to open up about their relationship, refused to break up with Nate and insisted he continue seeing Serena? He wouldn't have any ammunition against that except refusing to see her, and he wasn't sure it would hurt her as much as it would crush him. Because of all the confusion, and because of everything that was happening, he shook his head, he strode passed her and toward her bedroom door.

She followed him, and when he had his hand on the doorknob she said, "Dan."

He turned and looked at her. No words left her mouth, she only stared into his eyes pleadingly, desperately. She wasn't sure what she wanted to say, what feelings she wanted to convey or what ideas she wanted to express. So many thoughts and emotions were pulsing throughout her body, clogging up her mind and sending her heart racing. There was too much to think about, let alone say, but she didn't want Dan to leave angry; she didn't even want him to leave yet. And although she wasn't sure what she had stopped him for, or what she wanted to say or what she meant, the one look that passed between them seemed to explain it all, and Dan understood. He wasn't sure exactly what the look directly explained, but he did catch her meaning behind it, buried within it, and he knew he wasn't so angry anymore, only irreversibly confused.

Without saying a word, he nodded, letting go of the doorknob to take her hand in his. He leaned in to kiss her but she delicately covered her mouth, shaking her head. He smiled, understanding her fear of breath reeking of vomit, as if he cared at this point. Instead, he kissed her forehead and gave her hand a squeeze. With one last look he left her room and exited the penthouse all together, walking slowly, no longer caring if Serena or Nate found out he had been there.

Author's Note: Aaaaaaaaaah! So he knows her secret and he still loves her! Well, duh. So, will Blair finally just get over herself and love Dan completely? or will she run away from him? I know the answer, but you will have to wait and see! Sadly, the following chapters will be winding the story down. Well, it'll wind down and then up and then down for good... You'll see. Hope you liked chapter fourteen! Fifteen will be up soon! Season finale of Gossip Girl soon!? Dan/Blair interaction?! Personally, I hope Serena and Georgina throw down because that girl obviously needs a slap in the face. And Blair should make some snappy comment or stand there in all her complex-lovely-character-wonderfullness! Anyway, thanks for reading, reviewing is great, sorry about the rant!