Author's note- just about the only thing I left out was exactly why there was so much blood. It's because the needle after it's in all the way is moved around like an egg beater. Nice, right?
It was a gel solution. Thick. About as thick as toothpaste. Which meant more painful.
Charlotte had no idea how effective the lydocaine could be. Some people couldn't feel a thing, for others, the lydocaine had no effect. The only way to really tell was to stick 'em again.
Jessie's skinny body began to shake from the pain.
Charlotte swallowed. Guess she's one of the latter.
"You okay?"
"Yeah," Jessie's voice was practiced. The voice of a person used to pain- and having to lie about it.
"Okay, let's get the second one done."
The second one was worse. Or, there was only so much pain Jessie could endure.
The tears rimming her eyes began rolling down her cheeks. She began to shake, trying to control her pain.
"Okay?" Charlotte asked.
With a visible effort, Jessie sniffled, her jaw shaking. She could only answer "Um hmm," in the affirmative. Since it didn't require unclenching her jaw.
Third one Jessie was whimpering and gasping.
By the fourth she was crying aloud.
Fifth she was sobbing.
Then she started screaming through a clenched jaw as the pain became unbearable.
Charlotte's mind drifted to the people in the waiting room, knowing they could hear her.
As Charlotte injected the 7th vial, she saw Jessie's hand unclench from around its mate, and she grabbed for Charlotte's arm- the one holding the needle.
It was an unconcious movement, she knew. Purely a self-preservation measure. Only a response to pain. And since no one was holding her down, she could move.
"Jessie," she ordered, keeping her voice low, steady and authoratative, "Do not touch me. Don't move," she hissed.
Overwhelmed by the sheer and unimaginable agony of the procedure, Jessie was still able to stop herself with her hand just resting on the sleeve of Charlotte's white lab coat. Even wracked with pain, Jessie still had the muscular control to keep the weight of her arm off of Charlotte's. She was holding her arm up and off Charlotte.
Charlotte was amazed that even with the shaking, which was uncontrollable, Jessie had remained as motionless as possible. If it'd been Charlotte, she'd have been running away by now.
She thought of the patients she'd seen do just that. Literally leap off the table, grab their clothes and run out the door after the first needle, in much less sensitive areas.
And people think ballet dancers are weak, she mused.
The look on Jessie's face told Charlotte that she was thisclose to begging her to stop.
Don't look at her.
Charlotte reminded herself to try to keep her eyes off the kid's face.
Charlotte pulled the needle out, and let out a breath. It was then that she realized her shoulders were up to her ears. She pushed them down.
"Let's take a little break." She sighed, wanted to slump down in the seat Addison was in, but knew that was unprofessional.
"How many more?" Jessie asked the question and the words shook like leaves.
Charlotte pitited her. She knew it was a stall tactic.
"About 16 more to go."
"Can we not?" Her voice was still able to hold a joking tone. Charlotte realized again that being argumentative or making your 'audience' unhappy was unacceptable. Even lying here being tortured, she was trying not to upset Charlotte.
You're nuts, kid. This isn't a ballet. I didn't pay to see you dance around on bloody tip toes and look like you're not in agony.
Charlotte played along, carefully dabbing up the blood pooled on the kid's vagina.
Wish Cooper could see this, she thought bitterly. Might shut up about what I can and can't do. Love to see him try this without cryin' like a baby, or screamin' or pukin'.
She was glaring without meaning to.
Then she saw Jessie glancing at the clock. They'd been doing this for over an hour. The needles had to be moved in very slowly, and the solution injected at a snail's pace. The slower you insert a needle, the more painful the injection. But, there was no other choice for this procedure. Sloppy work on her part and Charlotte's patient would end up like she had during Addison's crack pot procedure- unable to talk or worse.
Charlotte looked at Addison.
She noticed the other doctor looked a little green.
She looked back at Jessie, who was collecting herself, trying to slow her breathing and wiping her tears from her face, sniffling.
"Ready to get back to it?" Charlotte asked her.
Jessie's entire body slumped with the weight of her fate.
With visible effort Charlotte watched her change the expression on her face to a smile and relax the rest of her body. As if she weren't terrified. As if Charlotte were not going to spend another hour doing nothing but slowly inserting and slowly removing large needles without working pain meds from Jessie's groin.
"Sure," she smiled.
Charlotte's gaze flickered to Addison. She saw her swallowing, and realized Montgomery was most likely swallowing back vomit.
She shuddered.
"Allright Jessie," she began, knowing what was to come, "now that your body has gotten used to the amount of pain, I'm going to do the worst one now."
She looked at Jessie's eyes widening in horror. Being a woman, she could hear her thoughts, Oh god, my clit!
Sure enough Jessie lifted her head and looked in horror at the dot she'd allowed to be placed just above it.
Forcing a shaky smile she put a hand over the area, in a stop sign formation, without touching the skin.
Charlotte was grateful. Again, Jessie knew exactly what not to do in this situation. She knew medical protocol. By not touching the skin, it was still sterile. Plus if she had, Charlotte noted, Jessie's hand would be covered in her own blood. Charlotte couldn't wipe away the blood the large needles caused until the procedure was over.
"Maybe we can skip that one?" She smiled again.
It was begging, pleading.
Charlotte was honest with her. "Jessie, I'd like to, and I do understand. But that is the area that gives you the most pain- dead center of your pubic bone, and the most sensitive location on your entire body. But if I leave that area alone, it's just going to keep hurting, which will make everything worse.
She took a breath in, and realized with more than a little embarrassment that her voice was shaking, and she was speaking as if she were running out of oxygen.
Way to sound professional, King.
"I don't want you to have to go through all this, only to not get that spot done, and because of that, have it undo all the good of the other injections. If that happened, you'd have to come back in and re-do this entire procedure."
Jessie was subtle, but Charlotte saw her glance at the door just then, calculating. Wondering if she could get away.
Addison rose from her chair then, and Charlotte accepted she was going to leave, not wanting to be witness to any more torture.
Instead she stepped up to Jessie and put her hands down on top of Jessie's.
Charlotte stared at her in obvious shock, yet was so grateful for the help now, she felt weak.
Addison's eyes met hers.
"Thank you," Charlotte mouthed.
"I'll just help you keep your hands still," Addison smiled at Jessie.
Jessie didn't register her. She was staring at the ceiling. She was so tense all the tendons around her neck and shoulders were sticking out.
She looks like a Cardassian, Charlotte thought.
"Just try to stay still."
Again, she slowly pushed the needle in.
Jessie screamed in agony. And when the pain didn't stop, she just kept screaming. Charlotte hoped that she'd be lucky and pass out. But knowing dancer's pension for body control, she doubted Jessie could allow herself to do that, all the while knowing that this woman young as she was, was that much in control of her own body. She had to be. She'd have had to be held down otherwise.
Charlotte felt her patient's body levitate off the exam table. She knew it was sheer pain response. Sadly the involuntary movement caused the needle to be pushed in further, only increasing the ballerina's pain.
Jessie was shaking, screaming and sobbing. Sweat soaked through her skin. The smell of perspiration, terror and blood filled Charlotte's nostrils like a musk.
"You're doing great Jessie," Charlotte spoke softly. "Just breathe."
Withdrawing the needle, she saw Addison's hands, white-knuckled, upon Jessie's hands. Jessie's hands were still laced together at her waist.
Scanning the ballerina's body, it was obvious that Jessie was almost entirely off the table. The only points of her body in contact with the table was one heel, a shoulder blade, and the side of her pelvis closest to Charlotte. Other than this, which Jessie could not help, she was motionless. And she'd moved slowly enough as to not knock Charlotte's needle out of its position. Or, maybe she'd just gotten lucky on that point.
Thinking back on it, she realized tht Addison's knuckles were white not because she was working so hard to hold Jessie down, but because she'd been so upset she was squeezing Jessie's hands. Jessie was holding herself still.
Jessie gasped for breath, but was unable to relax her body enough to lay on the table again.
Charlotte finished the other side of Jessie's pubic bone. Then moved down to the the insertion point of Jessie's gracilis muscle where it met up with the underside of the pubis.
Charlotte was expecting this area, close to the leg, the joining of thigh and groin to be less painful.
When Jessie yelled in pain, Charlotte jumped.
Charlotte felt her face reddening in embarrassment, even though she'd said nothing about it aloud.
An hour later, Charlotte was sponging off streams of blood off her shaking patient.
Fortunately the gel precluded needing bandaids or stitches. Of course it didn't do anything for the bleeding begun by initiating the procedure.
"All right," she smiled. "You're all done. You can clean yourself off, and leave."
Charlotte chuckled.
"When you get back to dancing, I promise you, I'll be in the front row."
She started for the door, Addison seeming in a confused daze followed her as she added over her shoulder, "and you can pay at the front desk."
Once the door closed behind them Addison pulled Charlotte aside.
"That's it?"
"That's it?" She echoed incredulous. "We been in there for almost three hours."
Addison rolled her eyes.
"You don't need to monitor her? Be certain she can stand after a procedure like that?"
Charlotte shrugged. "She'll be fine. Didn't do anything major to the muscles that affect the movement of her legs. She'll be able to walk."
"She'll be in agony," Addison corrected.
"No," she contradicted her, "already was. She'll just be in a little pain."
"I think I may need to re-think having you at the practice," she muttered.
"Uh huh," she answered unconcerned, "you do that. Then tell me who you're gonna call when one of your gyny patients needs this same procedure done. Don't tell me you'd belly up to that."
They'd made their way halfway down the hall in the opposite direction when Jessie exited the exam room.
She was white as a sheet, looked in shock, about to pass out, and could barely walk.
Addison remembered, "She didn't bring anyone with her."
Charlotte just blinked.
"She's going to have to get herself home," she explained.
Addison looked at her, mouth agape. "You're going to let her go home by herself?"
Charlotte looked at her like she was crazy. "She'll be fine," she insisted. "I'm the one that's done this procedure before," she reminded her. "I know what condition patient's are in. Besides," she added, "Jessie's takin' the bus home."
Addison turned around and headed for the front desk. "I'm calling her a cab," she announced.
"Better be payin' for it yourself," Charlotte answered before the red-headed doctor could get more than two steps away. "That girl just paid $500 for that procedure."
"Out of pocket?" Addison was shocked.
"Insurance doesn't cover procedures like this. I'd think you'd know that."