If anyone is actually reading thank you, and I am sorry it has been some time since I posted. Ahh summer and the continued revolving door of house guests! As always I own nothing, JK owns all the loveliness of the Harry Potter world. Song I listened to while writing this: 1975-Somebody Else, The Broods-Mother and Father. They are on the H playlist on Spotify. Thank you for any reviews and comments. xoxo A

XxX

Hermione was full of confidence, feeling her old self until she stood in front of Draco's house. She had promised him she wouldn't run away and that was exactly what she did. Oh gods what if she was about to get chucked? Her stomach churned with all the food Molly made her eat. Oh gods why did he have to live in this posh part of Notting Hill, damn neighbors walking their dogs and children, they were staring at her. Ahh move Hermione she told herself! She could see Draco through the window, he was in his study. Her heart ached, somehow, someway she had had fallen in love with him, and she had hurt him. She wanted him; she wanted the life she imagined with him. But how could she live New Orleans and still keep Draco? She couldn't ask him to leave everything and everyone he loved for her. Maybe they could try the long distance thing….she looked up and watched Draco, he was practicing a speech. She smiled, just like her; he was a perfectionist when it came to his work. Whatever they had to do to make this work, she would do it. She crossed the street and as she raised her arm to knock on the door it opened. A tiny, pinkish house elf greeted her at the door.

"Well hello" Hermione said surprised

"Come in Miss, please"

Hermione bent down to look at the tiny thing straight in the face. She was dressed in a lovely pink dress, one you might see on a china doll. "I'm Hermione Granger" she stuck her hand out to shake the house elf's hand

"I'm Petite, and I know who you are" she leaned in, taking Hermione's hand and whispered "You are the miss who makes my Draco sing in the shower" she looked around as if she may get caught telling her secret

"Draco sings…in the shower" Hermione whispered curious

"Oh yes he is so happy these days, and he has a lovely voice" Petite added

Hermione grinned at this thought and wondered what he sang

"But today my Draco is sad, and has been in his study all day. My misses is worried"

"Narcissa?"

"Yes miss she was mine until she died, I took care of her. Now I take care of her Draco, he is mine." Petite continued

"Well I am here to hopefully cheer him up Petite" she stood up and walked towards Draco's study. She stood in the doorway and watched him. He was in his clothes from last night, and he looked terrible, a tray of untouched food was on his desk. His back was to her.

"Finally decided to come in?"

"How did you…"

"You broke into my house once, I wasn't going to let it happen again" he interrupted

There was a long burning silence between them, Draco finally turned to look at her. "What do you want?" he asked her coldly

It felt like he had slapped her "I wanted to apologize and tell you something"

He looked at her un-phased "Well no one is stopping you" he said coldly "Could we speed this up I have work to do"

Shit, shit, shit…..he was angry, but he had every right to be Hermione reminded herself. "I'm sorry Draco for last night, I saw Astoria and you didn't retreat rom her touching you and my jealousy got the best of me. She is so beautiful and I am so messed up and you two have history. I just lost it and instead of causing a scene I left. I'm a coward, very un-Gryffindor of me I know"

"Yes you were a coward, and I never run away when I see you hug Potter. Should I cause a scene if Weasley touches you? If I did you would be all over my ass about how they are your friends….well like it or not I have known Astoria a long time. Yes at one time I thought I loved her, that was youth, but now we are old friends, which I don't have many of. You know I have never once acted like a child the way you did last night, not once….and I am dying to know about the scars on your left breast….Philip huh….but it's not my business who you decided to fuck!" he was growling at her now he was so angry.

Hermione's hand instinctively went to her scar "It's not what you think though"

"I don't really care. I'm not sure this is going to work out Granger… I think…"

"No Draco stop! I came to tell you I love you and I'm ready to tell you everything…"she was starting to panic and tears welled in her eyes.

"It's too late Hermione; you keep running from me, is this how it would always be? Things aren't perfect and you run? Who can live like that…oh wait you can" he said coldly his gray eyes cold as winter

She blanched, his words stung badly "But Draco you don't understand, I'm trying to tell you it's all my fault. I …" she was practically sobbing now

"I run because I hurt my parents. The two people in the world most important to me and I hurt them beyond repair. I broke my own heart and I've never recovered, I'm broken Draco. I was until I came home though. You, Harry, Ginny, everyone make me feel better, and I realized I love you Draco…I want you and I want to be with you" she started to sob

Draco stood there with his mask on his face, inside he was dying, he wanted this to end, he wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her he loved her too, but he needed her to tell him, say it out loud. She needed to air her wrong doings or they would never survive as a couple. "Tell me what did you do, be honest with me for once" he stared her down

She didn't say anything, she just sobbed "Tell me Hermione" he shouted at her

That snapped her out of it. She started to tell him about how she modified her parent's memory to forget her and move to Australia the summer before 7th year. After the war she found them and brought them back home, she wanted them to come back in a place they knew "I reversed the spell on my dad first and everything was fine…" she was breathing deep between crying "But my mother…my beautiful mother, something went wrong, the reversal made her memory worse. She was lost to me and it was my fault Draco…my father….my father told me to leave, he said he never wanted to see me again….he said he wished I had never been born because my mother would still be perfect then"

He pictured all in his head, he saw her parents a few times in Diagon Alley with her when they had been kids. Imagining it made it worse and he felt nauseated.

"I ran away to America, and since then I have drank my way through the pain. I never properly broke up with Ron, I just left and you're the first man I have been with longer than one night in my whole adult life" Hermione couldn't look at Draco's horrified face, her stomach lurched and she ran to the bathroom. She sobbed as everything came up. She laid her head on her arm and closed her eyes hugging the bowl.

She felt hands rub her back "Shhh, its ok love, shh I'm here." She slowed her breathing down; she moved to sit against the wall. She looked at Draco; tears silently poured from her eyes "Now you know, I hurt everyone I love, so it's better if I leave them, because eventually I hurt them. I broke my father's heart and took the love of his life away from him. My mother will never see me get married or meet my children Draco. I need her so much."

Draco closed the lid to the toilet and flushed it. He pulled Hermione into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. She buried her face into his chest and cried some more. "Nightmares? Is this why you drink so much Firewhisky?" he felt her nod her head in his chest. He rubbed her back and soothed her "Let it out, let it all out" after a while the sobs stopped and tears just streamed, he could feel them soaking into his shirt.

"Hermione Granger I love you and always will" he whispered in her ear

He could feel her smile on his chest "But why, after what I have just told you, I will surely hurt you. I've hurt Harry, Ron, Ginny…you. Why do you love me?"

"It's always been you, the one they told me I couldn't have, I wasn't good enough for you when we were kids" she raised her head and looked at him skeptically "It's true; you have always been good and fair. Even after all the terrible names I called you, things I did; you never once were blatantly mean to me. I respected you so much, and gods you're so damn smart, you beat me in every subject. I love that you argue with me and that you're five steps ahead of me, it's so sexy. You don't let me win, and you could give a damn about my name or money. I knew if I ever wanted to have a chance with you I would have to change my ways. Just the thought that one day I could have a chance to win your heart, made me a better man."

Hermione sighed and tucked her head under Draco's chin. She listened to his heart for a while; she loved listening to the steadiness of it.

"Hermione, you never have to worry about another woman, Astoria was my past, and you are my future." He lifted her face from his chest, holding her little pixie face in between both hands he needed to see her eyes; he needed to see that she believed him.

She nodded "I know that" he leaned in to kiss her; her fingers covered his lip and stopped him. "Can I brush my teeth, and maybe get a shower?"

He laughed "Yes I will find you something clean to wear"

They got up from the bathroom floor and he started the shower for her. She climbed in after stripping her clothes off. He took her clothes out to Petite.

"Is my Draco hungry yet? What about his miss?" she smiled

"Yes Petite but I can make us something" the look he received could have froze water "Ok ok, you can but let's wait for Hermione, her stomach is a bit upset" Petite smiled and skipped off to the laundry with Hermione's clothes

Draco returned to his bedroom. He opened his chest of drawers, the middle drawer, and pulled out the pair of grandpa pajamas he had bought for her. He smiled thinking about that first morning, he laughed to himself thinking about Hermione answering the door her hair sticking up, eye mask shoved up on her forehead, and grandpa pajamas on. He had no idea what he would have done if she would have answered in something small and lacey. He laid the clothes and a new toothbrush out for Hermione in the bathroom and gave her privacy.

He changed his own clothes realizing he was still in his clothes from the night before. He put on a pair of black flannel pajama pants and his favorite washed out Slytherin shirt from his school days. He headed to the kitchen to wait for Hermione.

Draco had just finished a text to Theo and Blaise when he heard bare feet on the hardwood floor. Hermione sat on the stool next to him at the large marble island. Once she sat a bowl of chicken soup appeared in front of her and tomato soup with grilled cheese in front of Draco. Draco eyed her soup with uncertainty "Should you be eating stew…when your stomach is upset?"

"This is not stew, its chicken noodle, and it's amazing when you have an upset stomach…I just need some saltines" and they appeared on a plate in front of her

Draco shook his head…"Americans' he smiled and started in on his soup

"You're eating tomato and grilled cheese…very American"

He rolled his eyes at her, grilled cheese…uhm toasted cheese, she was losing her accent, but a southern drawl was starting to emerge, it was adorable. He noticed it especially when she argued and she started speaking quickly. They ate quietly together, Hermione slower than Draco. When she was through he held out his hand to her "Come on it's been a long weekend" he led her down the hall. Sensing her exhaustion Draco turned to her at the stairs and picked her carrying her all the way to his bed. He pulled the duvet and sheet back laying her on the left side.

Draco's bedroom was all shades of black and charcoal gray, it was modern, simple and right now the dark felt cozy. Draco turned on his bedroom light and it gave a soft glow, there was barely enough light for Hermione to see across the room. Draco picked up a book from his bedside and crawled in next to her. As soon as he settled she moved and snuggled into him.

"Shall I read to you? I have Pride and Prejudice but I am sure I can find my copy of Hogwarts a History somewhere…" he smirked at her

"I can never turn down Mr. Darcy" she smirked back, the look on his face made her laugh out loud "What? I can be in love with a fictional character if I want…people do it all the time. Women would be swooning all over you if you were a character! Bad boy turned good, we love that shit"

"Well of course they would…I would give Darcy a run for his money" he snorted

He opened to the first chapter and started to read. Hermione sighed, she was so content and the weight of the world felt like it was off her shoulders. As he read his left hand played with her hair, she was done for and fell asleep within in minutes.