Chapter 13: The District Rebuilding
"This was a mistake. BIG mistake." I say pacing through the living room consumed with anxiety. "I should have not agreed with this." I say as my hands start to shake slightly. This is a sign, when I start crossing the line to hysteria and Peeta knows it very well.
"Hey." he says, capturing me in the middle of my pacing and wrapping me in his warm embrace to stop me from trembling and pacing around the room. "It'll be okay." he says quietly as I close my eyes to calm down.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten.
I must have been out of my mind the evening when I agreed to do the spot about the district reconstruction for Plutrach. It was beginning of June, quite nice and warm early summer evening. We took a walk with Peeta and talked about it and agreed that we could do it to calm things down in Panem. To let everyone know we're okay and just friends. So as we came back home, we picked the phone and dialed the number.
"Hello?" we hear his voice. Peeta takes a deep breath and starts talking because he knows I don't have the courage to do this.
"Hello Plutrach! This is Peeta and Katniss." he says cheerfully.
"Ohh, I'm so happy to hear from you!" he exclaims "How are you doing?"
"We're fine, we're still healing." Peeta says.
"Are you calling because of the rebuilding spot?" he asks then and I feel knots in my stomach.
"Yes." Peeta says and he gives me a concerned look. "We were considering it really long and we would happily oblige, but we have a few conditions." he says in a business voice.
"Ohh, let me hear it then." Plutrach says in an amused voice. "I'm sure it won't be a problem."
"Well first, we would like our old crew do the shooting. Cressida and Pollux." Peeta says.
"Oh, that's not a problem, anything else?" Plutrach says.
"You know, we're still healing and things like cameras are stressing for us. Especially for Katniss." he says and gives me a look. "You saw how she run away last time." he adds. "So we wanted to do a deal with you. If Cressida and Pollux would be the only crew allowed to come to 12, we would shoot something with them once in a while." Peeta says.
"Hmm... That's a hard decision. I'll agree if you promise that if there's some big news, we will be the first to know." he bargains.
"Don't worry, you'll be the first to know when I'll open the new bakery." Peeta says cheerfully and he gives me a playful wink. I smile a little. Plutrach laughs too.
"Okay then, I think we can agree on that condition too. Cressida and Pollux are the only crew for district 12. Anything else?" he asks.
"Only one last thing" Peeta says. "We would really appreciate it if you let us know when you sent a camera crew in here."
"Ohh, you'll now about it." he says. "So you'll do the District Rebuilding Spot for me under these conditions?" he asks finally.
"Let's call it a deal." Peeta smiles.
"Okay, I'll send more information later, you will shoot it by the end of June." he says "I'm delighted that you agreed, have a great evening!" he says
"You too." Peeta says and they hang up.
Two days later, we got a letter from Plutrach, where he wrote about the spot, what should we do and say. Basically we're supposed to gather some information about the shops and we're supposed to go around and talk about them in the spot. Peeta happily took the task to get all the information. He spent all the day in the town, talking to owners of the shops.
I accompanied him in the afternoon, and I went to the candy man with him and we also visited the man who owns the future pub, where Sae will cook. He's really friendly person. His name is Bart and he happily talked about his new pub for half an hour. Peeta took notes all the time and then he wrote everything about the square and shops into a little script, we were supposed to learn.
Since that day, we have been rereading it every evening, trying to memorize everything about the shops. Peeta doesn't have big problems with it. I'm worse, but in the end of the second week, I have learned it well and I was able to say it all well enough.
Now, it's evening before the shooting and I'm consumed with anxiety. Scared of pretending and walking in front of cameras again. I know that I shouldn't be, because it's not that bad, but I can't help. We've watched spots about rebuilding in other districts in TV. We have seen the one in four, where my mum was speaking about the hospital for a while. She looked well. We have watched the spot from 3, 5 and 1. We have even seen the one from District 2 and to my horror, Gale was the one who did it, because he's still a famous rebel (not even speaking about his camera ready face). It made me feel anxious to see him on the screen. He was looking well though. His hair a little longer than usual, he seemed well and happy. All those spots looked well and easy, but right now, these things are not helping me.
Peeta calms me down and directs me to bed, because we need to be rested for tomorrow as he says. And so I oblige and lie down into my bed, while he goes into my bathroom, which has become his too through the last month. In fact all of this house is becoming his too. Gradually, his things start to appear in here. His toothbrush next to mine, his favorite mug in my kitchen, his pills in my bathroom cabinet, his dirty clothes in the laundry with mine. Eventually I emptied one of the drawers in my dresser for him and now it's filled with his clothes. It seems that I got a roommate.
When he comes back, I'm hidden under the covers, trembling and scared. He slips under the covers and he throws it over his head too when he finds out I'm hidden in there. For a while he's looking at me in the dim light.
"It'll be fine." he says quietly running his hand over my hand. "It's just Cressida and Pollux, they're our friends." he says. I just nod slowly, but my anxiety still lingers in my body. He smiles slightly.
"You need to shake that anxiety away." he says and I see a spark in his eye. He's up to something.
"I don't know how." I say.
"Ohh, I'll show you." he smiles widely, which only confirms my theory that he's up to something. And in the next moment, he does a tickling attack on me and after a few seconds, I can't help then laugh out loud and fight with him. I end up lying on the floor, holding my hips tightly, breathing heavily and still laughing. He offers me his hand and I get back to bed.
"Better?" he asks with a smile.
"A little." I say and manage to smile slightly. He embraces me in his strong arms and my heart calms down.
"Night, night." he whispers and gives me a light kiss.
When I wake up, it's still before down, but the sky is getting light. Peeta is lying next to me, still soundly asleep, but I can't sleep anymore. Carefully I break free from his arms and I go out of bed. In the first moment I think about hiding in the closet, but then I change my mind. I go down and out of the house. I go out to the backyard and sit into the swing bench which is in there. I can see down from the Victor's Village hill, directly at the town. It seems calm in this morning hour. I wrap myself in a blanket I took with me. It's quite chilly morning for June and my bare feet are cold. I think about today and I feel anxious. But still it's better than yesterday. By the evening it will be over. I don't know how long have I been sitting here, but the sun starts to go out when a voice startles me.
"Chocolate time!" he says cheerfully, while he sits next to me. I unwrap myself from the blanket, he scoots as close to me as possible and we wrap the blanket around us again. He hands me a cup of hot chocolate and sips from his own cup. We remain silent as we watch the beautiful sunrise on the right side of our view.
"How do you feel?" he asks and gives me a concerned look.
"I'll deal with it." I say quietly, my eyes staring at the bright sunrise. I don't have and other option than dealing with it.
"That's my brave girl." Peeta says with a smile, while he tightens his hug around me and kisses my temple softly. It makes me smile a little.
When the sun is out, we go back into the house to prepare for the shooting. Luckily, Plutrach didn't insist on a prep team for us. He said we should just look normal. I take a shower and spend a lot of time in front of the dresser. This is my weak spot. Even though I'm a girl, I have never been interested in clothing much. I didn't care about it as much as the other girls. So now I'm trying different outfits and I'm starting to be annoyed, when I don't like anything on me. I don't want to wear dress. I would not feel well in it. Finally I have brown shorts, which reaches above my knees and a yellow empire waist top. The top is a compromise between my usual boring shirt and dress. It's not dress, but it makes me look more girlish. It highlights my breasts and it falls down in folds, which looks nice. When Peeta comes he confirms that my appearance is okay with a huge smile over me.
"You look beautiful sweetheart." he says and rewards me with a kiss into my hair.
"I still have to do my hair." I say annoyed.
"Leave it loose." he says with puppy eyes. I'm not usually leaving my hair loose. But today it could at least mask some of my scars. So eventually I oblige and I leave it loose. The only thing I add is a yellow hairband which matches the top. As I look into the mirror, I'm surprised, who is standing in there. I really look good and like a girl now.
At 9:30, we head to the town, where we're supposed to meet with the crew. Peeta takes his notes into his pocket, just in case we'll need to revise and he takes my hand tight. Probably to unsure that I won't run away. When we arrive at the square, Cressida and her crew are already there. We greet with everyone, Cressida and Pollux both give me a tight hug and I must admit that I'm glad to see them again. Then Cressida tells us how we will shoot it. We'll start with the justice building, and then we'll go to the right and around the entire square. That means that after justice building the bakery will be the first one. We have agreed that we will take turns with Peeta in introducing different shops until we reach the pub, which will be the last.
We're about to start and I'm nervously playing with my fingers, when Pollux comes to me. He tries to tell me something. It's hard to understand his gestures, but after a moment I get it.
"Don't say it for cameras, but for me." he wants to say. And it reminds me of other old friend. Cinna, who told me to answer the interview questions for him not for the Capitol people.
"I'll say it all for you." I smile at Pollux and he gives me thumbs up.
"Ready?" Peeta turns to me.
"No, but I'll manage." I answer as Cressida starts to count down until start of the live broadcast. We put on our best smiles with Peeta as Cressida signals that we're on air.
"Hello everyone! This is Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen from district 12!" Peeta says enthusiastically. Okay, now it's my turn.
"Hello! We're here to show you, how is District 12 recovering after the war and how are we rebuilding the town center." I say and fix my eyes on Pollux instead of the camera. He gives me a thumb up, which makes me feel better.
"We'll start with the justice building." Peeta says and we start to say informations about the justice building. Then we move to the bakery, which takes a lot of time. When the bakery is done, we continue around the different shops. The shoe shop, clothes shop, the butcher, the toys shop.
We're just over the half, when I speak about the apothecary. The camera just moves to shot the building, when Peeta grabs my hand. We had agreed we will act like friends on camera, so no handholding. But now, he grips my hand so tight that it almost hurts and I feel how his hand starts to shake hardly. And when I realize what that means, cold sweat comes up on my forehead. Does he really have a flashback right now?! By the corner of my eye I see that he's standing there, shaking and his eyes are fixed on something. Definitely a flashback. What a great timing! What will I do now? I can see, that Cressida and Pollux have noticed it too.
As the camera turns back on me, I put my biggest smile on to hide my panic.
"Okay, we're just over the half, so we will take a short break now and you will hear a few words from our sponsors." I say cheerfully and I don't dare to let my smile vanish until Cressida signalizes, that we're off. When she does, I turn to Peeta scared.
"Peeta?" I ask scared. He doesn't look at me. His eyes remain locked on something. And as I look in that direction I see it. There is a single tracker-jacker, buzzing around.
"Peeta it's okay, it will not harm you." I say calmingly. He looks at me for a while, but then he looks at the insect again, his eyes full of fear. Now it landed at our feet and it is sitting on the ground. Peeta seems so scared. And I hate that little insect for harming Peeta so much. For scaring him so much. So I channel my feelings into one violent stamp right over the tracker jacker. The disgusting cracking sound hints, that it has been destroyed. Peeta looks at me in awe, like I've just done something unbelievable and impossibly brave.
"I will not let them harm you again." I say stubbornly. "Come on." I say quietly and lead him towards the bakery steps. I sit him down in a shade and look at him. He's pale and shaking and he doesn't look good. I take his hands and press my forehead against his.
"Hey, it's okay." I say quietly.
"Katniss, I want to go home." he says pleadingly.
"We will. I promise." I say "But we have to finish the spot. I have to finish it." I correct myself as I realize that Peeta is not able to do it.
"Katniss you have three minutes." Cressida calls at me. My heart starts racing. How the heck I'll finish it by myself?!
"You can't finish it alone." Peeta says scared and he tries to stand up.
"You are staying here." I say stubbornly. "You calm down and I finish the spot."
"Katniss you had problems remembering your own lines, how could you do mine?" he asks.
"I can do it." I say angrily as Cressida calls that I have one minute left. I don't know if I'm trying to persuade Peeta or myself. I hold his hands for a few more seconds then I stand up and go in front of the camera. Both Cressida and Pollux are looking at me with concern.
"What?" I say angrily. "I can finish it by myself!" I say stubbornly. I take one deep breath and let my face light up in a huge smile.
"Welcome back in district 12!" I say cheerfully. "Sorry for the longer break, Peeta was not feeling well, so I have to finish this without him." I say and I start to speak about the sweets shop. Luckily I know this one well, so it calms me down a little. To my surprise I'm able to say everything about the rest of the shops. I'm able to be cheerful and talkative and happy. I have no idea, where did that enthusiastic reporter girl come from. The last building is the restaurant and I feel knots in my stomach as we approach it. It was the hardest part and Peeta was so eager to do it well. Luckily I'm able to say all the important things, by some miracle I even joke!
"So that's all from us, I hope you enjoyed this spot and I hope you'll come and visit 12 one day. Have a great day all around Panem! This is Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark from district 12!" I finish, huge smile still pinned to my face, until Cressida calls cut. Then I lean against the pub wall, I cover my eyes with my trembling hands and I slide down on the ground, taking a deep breath. I can't believe I finished it without Peeta.
"Katniss you were dazzling." Cressida calls enthusiastic. "Plutrach says it was very successful and they will replay it few times during the week." she says. Pollux pats my shoulder encouragingly with a smile and it makes me feel better. Peeta comes from the other side of the square and he sits next to me still a little pale.
"You did it." he says in unbelieving voice.
"Ohh did you doubt about me?" I say with tired and desperate smile and he hugs me tight. We say our goodbyes as the camera crew is picked up by hovercraft and they head back to Capitol. We head home slowly and quietly. Holding hands tight and both feeling exhausted.
As we come home, we head to the living room. Peeta collapses down on the couch and hides his face in his hands. I look at him for a while.
"Chocolate time I guess." I smile slightly. This is something like our signal, when one of us is sad or has a bad day. We just call 'Chocolate time' and we make a hot chocolate. When I make two cups and bring them to the living room, Peeta is already sitting and watching me with a careful look. As I sit down next to him, he pulls me to his lap and wraps his arms around me.
"Thank you." he whispers into my ear. "Thanks for being so brave." I sigh.
"I had no other choice." I smile at him.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I was trying to fight it, but as I saw the tracker jacker, I was so scared, that I will get more venom into my system again. And I was scared that I will hate you again." he says desperately.
"It's okay." I sooth him and run my fingers through his hair. "I understand it."
For a long time, we sit in the living room, sipping our chocolate. Buttercup jumps into my lap and I stroke him until he closes his eyes and purrs happily.
"I think we should look at the spot." Peeta says and turns the TV on. It is just announced and we appear on the screen. We watch as we introduce the buildings. In the middle, when I'm at the apothecary, without any blink I announce the brake with a dazzling smile.
"Wow, nobody would say that something bad happened." Peeta says admiringly.
Then the next half comes, where I manage to say everything well and introduce every building including the pub. I end it all in there, with a shiny smile.
"You are amazing." Peeta says and hugs me.
Later we get a call from Plutrach, who's enthusiastic about our success. Then I got another call from my mum, who says we were amazing and she says she was happy to see us. When we lie down into the bed to sleep, I'm really exhausted. I curl up with Peeta and hide my face in his chest.
"Thanks for saving the day." he whispers into my ear.
"You're welcome." I say quietly. "Once in a while it can be me, who is the popular one." I joke and he laughs quietly. I fall asleep on his chest and I hope I will never have to shoot spots again.