The Nightmares Get Worse
She heard the normal sound of her cell door as it hit the wooden wall behind it. She wondered what she had done wrong now, or what was causing Saleem Ulman to be angry with her this time. She didn't even bother to look up, already knowing that it was him. But, Ziva was taken by surprise.
Saleem grabbed a handful of her tangled curls and yanked her to her feet, pulling her hair and causing her to wince in pain and making her legs shake, as they hadn't been used in sometime and were very weak from lack of nutrition and use. Ziva swayed and nearly fell, but Saleem held her up roughly by her arm. She could feel it bruising already under his touch.
There was a sack placed over her head and Saleem said nothing to her. He didn't even mutter a single word; not in Arabic or any other language at all. He dragged her by the arms from her small, dirty, dusty cell into the hallway, which she had only seen the one time, when she was still a free woman and an assassin of Mossad.
Saleem threw her into a cell face-first onto the floor. He removed the sack from her head and grabbed her hair again, turning her face to see someone tied to a chair in this small room. Saleem's laughter filled the air and she filled with dread as she lay in the dirt on the floor.
"He is going to watch this and then you get to watch him die… because honestly once he has seen you naked he cannot live any longer, you remember what I did to that one that tried to have you that day," Saleem said while still laughing hard to himself.
Saleem slammed her face into the dirt and held her down by the wrists while kneeling behind her and getting himself and her ready for this moment.
Ziva's eyes snapped open and she let out a small and quiet scream. She was shaking and sweating and looking around her room fearfully. She grabbed her phone immediately, but stopped. That nightmare was far worse than anything she had ever experienced since her return from Somalia. She wondered what caused the change.
She remembered that a week ago she opened up a little more to Tony. They had since been spending their lunch-breaks together and she had been talking to him of her fears, even the ones that had been resolved. She was feeling better while she was awake, but this didn't make her feel better.
She realizes what this was. It was a fear of losing Tony. It was the fear of telling Tony exactly what happened to her in Somalia. It was the fear of having him know everything. It was the fear of being vulnerable. It was the fear of watching Tony go in a way she could do nothing about.
Finally, Ziva opens her phone. She thinks carefully and then sends the message that is worded differently this time.
I hope you are fine, again. They are getting worse.
She hit send and placed the phone at her side. She stood up and began pacing the room. She had a lot to think about now. She didn't want him to come over. She didn't want to talk about this nightmare. She didn't want to think about this nightmare. But, there was no way she was going to go back to sleep after that.
She had never told Tony what her nightmares were about, but she knew that he assumed that when she was texting him they involved him, because the first thing she did was ask if he was okay or tell him she hoped he was fine.
Her phone buzzed and she almost didn't dare to move, but she needed that comfort. She looked at the clock. Four in the morning, she thought with a sigh. This was the third time she had text Tony tonight. It was the only time she had had three nightmares in a night. She couldn't stand this much longer. She had to do something, but she just didn't know what.
She walked across the room and sat on her bed and read her text message; it was from Tony; it was her reply.
Three times in one night! I would say so. Are you okay?
This wasn't a normal response from Tony, either. But then, this was the most Ziva had shared about her nightmares. She did feel better. She sighed and reassured herself that it was only a nightmare and she was fine.
I am better now. I do not know what to do.
She hit send and curled into a ball on her bed, wondering. What could she do to fix these nightmares? What could she do without changing everything? What could she do without relying on someone else? What could she do without facing that final fear of opening up all the way to Tony and letting him fully inside her brain?
Her phone buzzed again and she opened the new text message from Tony. She read it.
Well, you could talk about it, or leave it alone, or have someone there with you, or… I don't know.
Ziva sighed. She had known these options. Somehow it was easier for her to hear her options from Tony. She opted for a little talking about it.
In my dream Saleem forced you to… to watch.
Ziva was shaking from head to foot. She had never shared anything with Tony. She hadn't shared her nightmares or what had really happened and she knew that he would guess this one right. She picked up her phone again, not really sure what to do.
A/N – Second chapter of the day. I think Ziva got a little too scared in this chapter. She might be making progress during the daytime, but sometimes those things backfire on us when we're alone and Ziva is experiencing this now. I wonder what she'll do. Leave a review of what you think!