Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Final fantasy 7!

It felt funny really. To see this well crafted character shatter and expose it's true being inside. A structure he so desperately needed to keep up. To keep things normal. Safe. These compulsive urges he had to bite back each and every day. Who he really was. Unstable. Viscous. Destructive. He was taught to behave as he was treated like an animal. And although the white coats looked upon him with sick fascination, others turned in fear or disgust.

-Flashback-

"We have to keep you in here." Spoke another monotone voice. A new face that 'Patient B' was still getting accustomed saw many faces everyday, but she was important because she was Hojo's personal assistant. His 5th personal assistant in the 12 years he has been alive. They gave him strange feelings so it was hard to hold back. They made the voices louder. It was hard to focus and gave him headaches. He never let it show though. He knew better because they beat him the worst when he misbehaved.

He heard the click of the thick metal enclose around his wrists and ankles. The cold sleek surface an all too ominous message. They blindfolded him again today. He hated it. The trials hurt more when he couldn't see, but he lost all sense in fighting back long ago. It just made it worse. Uncomfortable wires poked and prodded randomly through his naked body. The drum of his heart echoed chaotically as it anticipated the crushing pain that was soon going to destroy him. He knew what was to happen. And yet he never understood why.

"Were going to countdown. I want you to focus." More demand than suggestion. As it always was. He was never given choice.

Why.

3.

Every day.

2.

He wanted the pain to stop.

1.

Please.

"Begin."

The first thing he heard was a surge of electricity course through wires that were thankfully not connected to him, but close by. The next the roar of the mechanical clamps revving to life, and then his arms being ripped from their sockets.

He let out a small shaky scream at the numbing pain, and yet no tears came. Just the frantic twitch of nerves in distress and the spatter of his own blood on the crisp chilling tiled floors. His body shook as much as his voice did at the throbbing signals in his brain telling him of the danger he was in.

"Control your voice boy. Screaming is not tolerated. I've told you this before.' Hissed here venomous snarl over the ringing in his ears.

Every day it was like this.

'I don't want this anymore'

The scratching of pen against paper, clicking of heels and rough hands checking the clamps upon his ankles.

"Patient B arm test trial. tissue regeneration at.." Click, "..36 seconds. Comparative performance; slow. Possibilities; mental distraction or location of injury. Patient shows signs of visible distress. Pain tolerance still low." Footsteps faded back again before him. "Beginning leg test trail in 3, 2-"

Patient B liked to think he was very in control of his emotions, and through his experiences on the cold slab day in and out, he was a bit proud when the only thing he let was a yell. He did good. They told him that he was improving. This was progress. No longer did he lose control of his bladder or cry. No more bodily spasms or incoherent wailing. Just small growls and simple screams.

However, sometimes it was hard, these strange boiling sensations within, constantly bubbling up with each trial. With each spill of blood he lost, his will cracked bit by bit. And when those chipped walls crumbled, his body count doubled.

"Cloud…?" Sephiroth called slowly. The pressure threatening to crush his windpipe faltered and instead shook in its loose grasp. Cloud's eyes had become so ferocious a second ago, and in an instant, faded out, glazed over as if he was being shut down. Complete mental check out.

"Cloud." Sephiroth rose his hands and gently pulled the blondes hands away from his neck. He didn't dare let go, suspicious that at any moment he could be attacked again.

"I…." A twitch of the eye. Some recognition began to flood back into their depths of blue. "I didn't mean to." The words came out clumsy. "I'm sorry." Cloud swallowed hard, his face a chalky white. The floor of his mouth flooded with saliva, a sign of the hurricane developing in the pit of his stomach. "I-I'm sorry." He repeated. The slur in his toneless voice expressed the sudden vertigo he felt. Suddenly his eyes snapped into focus. "Bathroom."

It took a fraction of a second for Sephiroth to figure what he was talking about before he quickly grabbed Cloud and stirred him out of the bedroom and into the bathroom to the toilet boil. Even on an empty stomach void of any contents, bile came up and had the small figure hurled over the seat. Cloud coughed and wheezed, his frail body shook violently from all the recent stress. The only thing that kept his mind from going black with oblivion was a small caress of Sephiroth's hand doing reassuring circles on his bony back.

After he had regained his breath and was assured his stomach was finished, Sephiroth helped him up, his legs to weak to support the little weight he had. He quickly washed his mouth and they returned back to the dim lit bedroom.

Cloud let out a shaky breath. He lay again in Sephiroth's bed like a pile of lead. Soon his stomach as well as his breathing eased back to normal. Still, his head swam, too chaotic to sleep and yet too exhausted to think.

'I can't do this anymore…'

"I had feared this." He began hesitantly. Sephiroth head perked up and turned more to face Cloud. He really hadn't expected the boy to speak so soon."I really am sorry...I've caused a mess…"

"Have you had episodes like this before?"

The pillow rustled as he shook his head slowly, careful not to make the dizziness worse. "Since my escape no. I couldn't live with myself if I had." He didn't even want to imagine the harm he would have inflicted upon Aeris and Elmyra or even Zack. These blackouts shredded all judgement. Everyone was an enemy, and so anyone could be his victim. Whether it be his mother, lover or child, it didn't matter when all he would see is red.

"I was beginning to believe I had developed a balance. That these...blackouts would not happen anymore. Apparently, I was in the wrong." He mused bitterly. "It was foolish to think a tool could become something more."

"Total control takes time. Mistakes are expected Cloud. You were shook up and you lost your cool." The general reasoned softly. He too went through a long hardship as a child to control his inner dilemma. Memories of violent outbursts and blood lust ran through his mind. Yes he had been aggressive, temperamental and beyond common sense, but he had learnt to reign it in and create something more useful out of those feelings. In one sense he understood what Cloud was going through, but his relation only went so far.

Cloud was a monster created for him...and yet his madness went further than his own.

The boy's face scrunched up in discomfort. "I had thought if I buried it, than the normality of daily life would make me forget, but it only made it worse." He looked down at his side where underlay slow healing burns under bandages. "To fight a man I do not even know and nearly strangle another in the span of 24 hours is something I havn't done in...months actually." He confessed.

"Months?" Were these attacks so frequent? It had been nearly half a year since Cloud's escape. All this time he seemed so composed, so guarded. He had seen glimpses, but didn't think it had such a long history. Sephiroth's curiosity peaked to a new high, and his resentment toward his father even beyond. He wanted to know. He wanted to understand what drove the tormented blonde before him.

The question rest on the tip of his tongue. He wanted to ask so badly. But to have Cloud remember such painful memories and possibly put him through another spasm would not be the best of ideas. Especially when he just got over one. So instead he derailed the train of thought onto a new change of subject. "The bandages can wait for now. If you'd like you can change them yourself."

"Ah that's right..." With stiff careful movements, Cloud rose into a slouched sitting position, careful not to agitate his wounds further than he already had. He was certain he already must of have torn something. The revelation had panicked him, and still made him horribly uncomfortable, but his body and mind were both too weary to flail about anymore. He studied Sephiroth's face carefully. "How much did you see?"

Sephiroth had hoped his change of topic would have stirred them from something less painful, but he realized there wasn't much between them that didn't involve painful memories or tension. Still, there was no point being vague and pretend flippancy towards a sore subject he wanted to tread lightly around. "I only wanted to check for serious wounds. I hadn't known you would have been sensitive on the topic. I saw no need to remove your briefs if that concerns you." He quickly defended.

Clouds face fell, a blanket of shame took his features. "I see." He whispered. His eyes averted any contact, choosing to focus on the fabric of the comforter. "It must have been a strange sight."

"Yes. You're right, it was strange. Disturbing even." The general agreed plainly.

Clouds eyes closed when his heart gave a painful squeeze.

"I hardly see it as a flaw however."

His eyes snapped open and darted at Sephiroth. He couldn't help but being a bit confused by the last bit. Hardly a flaw? What did that even mean. "What?'

Sephiroth looked off thoughtfully. He had said it was disturbing. Strange. So why was he looking so...unbothered by it?

"It's...It's like seeing someone with an old burn scar or a sewn up empty eye socket. Yes, it's there and it isn't normal, and perhaps it brings up bad memories...but it's interesting and sometimes charming in its own way. Unique to the individual as a better way to describe it." His eyebrows furrowed and he gave an apologetic wave of the hand when Cloud continued to stare at him. "Sorry maybe that wasn't the best example." Giving a short sigh, the muscles in his face softened and gave Cloud a small smile. "What i mean to say is that I don't judge you for it, nor would I ever hold it against you."

Cloud could only stare as he his mind raced for some sort of hidden message in the General's explanation. He couldn't find any. Sephiroth continued to meet him with the same sincerity he always held toward him. Still, he wasn't stupid.

"Your a excellent liar."

"I can guarantee you I do not lie Cloud. Ever." His green eyes sparked with a serious sense of resolve. An unspoken rule he abided by even to the dirtiest of employees within Shinra's walls. To lie was to become one of them, and he'd rather slit his own throat like a dog then to transform into anything like them.

The mistrust was clear in the swarming orbs analyzing him, and Sephiroth met it full on. He accepted and didn't question the lack of faith the blonde had. It was a challenge he was willing to meet. Willing to break through.

A shrill ring snapped their attention away and to Sephiroths pocket. He could feel the small vibration against his thigh and quickly fished it out to see Lizards number displayed on the caller ID. He gave Cloud one more thoughtful look before flipping the PHS open and pressing it to his ear. "Yes?"

-"Bastards love to wait to the last minute to inform on meetings don't they…."- A frustrated string of grumbled choice words. -"Shinra. In his conference room in 5. Most likely a verbal report on the Banora mission."-

"Understood. I must stay Lazard, it's uncommon to hear you so aggravated. Was Hollander wobbling around your office talking nonsense again?"

A short sigh. -"I'm happy my pissy mood is the highlight of your evening, general. No, in fact it's that brother of mine."

Rufus? Had he done something?

Now that he mentioned it, he had recalled some...suspicious behavior on the blondes part. Always the quiet calculating one, unlike his father. But lately his eyes did have a rather cold glint to them.

"He has acted out of sorts lately. Has something happened?"

-"I'm afraid that is all I can give on the matter."- I'll tell you later -"You have a meeting to attend. Good evening General."- Click.

Cloud, with his extensive hearing, couldn't help but hear the conversation. "Who is Lazard?"

Sephiroth shut his PHS closed and slid it back into his pocket, meeting the curious blonde with an amused smirk. "Lazard is the Director of SOLDIER. He helps manage the SOLDIER population, their missions and the like. Fun fact is, he's the bastard son of Shinra, therefore Rufus, the Vice President, half brother."

Half brother…? Did that mean he had a different mother? Wouldn't he be a scandalous figure to the company than? Having lived in the slums for the past few months, he became well acquainted to political gossip and the daily drama of others lives. So wouldn't the people frown upon such a careless action on the President? "Why would they let him work for the company than? If he is a...bastard as you called it, wouldn't the people dislike Shinra for that?"

The General nodded. "I see how you would think that. And you're not wrong, typically people would. However, Shinra's act of letting Lizard come to work for the company and 'make something of himself' is simply a trump card to get the populous sympathy you see. In reality, the two sons hate their father as much as he hates them. Even so, that can't be let out now can it?"

So that's how it is. Cloud mused. Than Shinra truly is as much scum as people curse him to be. Interesting. When he spoke of his brother, he was referring to Rufus. "I see...something to store for a later date than." He concluded. "Will you be leaving now than?"

The bed creaked as Sephiroth rose. "Yes. I feel paranoid for leaving you here...But if didn't show, suspicion would rise." Clouds brows furrowed in thought. "How many people have access to your apartment?"

"The only people who have access to my key card password would be the Turks and Shinra himself." Sephiroth's eyes narrowed, focusing on nothing in particular. "The Turks...I don't feel are a threat. Tseng wouldn't betray my trust. And Shinra...well I don't see any reason for him to come down to snoop around." He turned to Cloud. "Just in case, if anyone were to come, I want you to hide. If things get physical, I have knives under the mattress between the bed frame. I shouldn't be gone long."

Cloud gave a soft nod and watched Sephiroth stride out of the room, the door shutting behind him with a click. He closed his eyes and trained himself the quiet vibrations of Sephiroths footsteps coming upon the entrance door, and soon disappearing entirely.

Authors Note: Ah finally, where shit hits the fan! Well, Soon at least. Muhahaha. As always thank you for sticking with me lovelies. I hope you enjoy the train wreck that is Cloud and his budding relationship with our favorite General.