014. Smile
Characters: Eli, Lizzie, and Gill
Genre: Humour
Rating: T
Time Period: the years of preteenage-dom

And So It Begins

You know what sucked?

Being babysat sucked.

Seriously, Gillian didn't need a stupid babysitter. She was twelve, after all—that meant she was practically a grown-up already! Her mutti had nevermade her stay home alone with some stupid babysitter while she and Vati went out. She'd just invite Big Mike over, but that wasn't because Gillian needed babysitting. That was just because Big Mike was awesome and it was a lot more fun to hang out with her when no one else was home.

But apparently Eli and Lizzie's mutti was too unawesome to realise that awesomeness didn't need a stupid babysitter.

Especially one like Yolanda.

Who was currently sitting on the couch in the living room, eating popcorn while watching some stupid show on the TV. Completely ignoring them.

Super boring.

Gill was currently sitting at the kitchen table with Eli, watching as he spun Berta—his Cherry Red Iron Handle Skillet—around in circles, the handle occasionally stopping to point at her or him or the refrigerator.

"This is so unawesome…"

He nodded in agreement, spinning it around again before sighing and resting his head on the table. "But mother said that she'd take Berta away if we made Yolanda angry again."

Yolanda was probably the worst babysitter that Gillian had ever seen. She was mean and boring and the only reason that they had to be good around her was because her father worked with Eli and Lizzie's mother. And their mother wanted him to like her or something.

Well, technically Gillian didn't have to be good. Since she doubted that Mutti would be that angry with her if she made Yolanda angry. Since Gill was pretty sure that Mutti didn't like the stupid babysitter any more than she did.

But if Yolanda complained about them to Eli and Lizzie's mother, then they'd get in trouble. And probably get their frying pan/skillet taken away. And while Gillian could not understand what in the world was so awesome about frying pans/skillets, she knew that Eli and Lizzie's reactions to getting them taken away weren't fun to watch.

Many tears, much screaming… And then both of them would attempt to force her into helping them tear the house apart to find the missing pans.

…Sometimes those two scared her a little bit.

Anyway, so she was bored. And she didn't know where Lizzie was—which just made things even more unawesome, because she and Eli didn't even have anyone to mess with right now.

Which, now that she thought about it…

"Hey, where's Lizzie?"

Eli paused in his skillet-spinning at that, glancing up at her for a moment before sighing and pointing toward the ceiling. "She's been locked in her room all day."

"Why?"

"I have no idea, but she wouldn't come out no matter what I tried." He pouted slightly as he continued, "I even threatened to call Roddy and pretend to be her and tell him that I loved him. And she just shrieked for some reason. Weirdo."

Well, that definitely sounded interesting.

A million times more interesting than sitting at the kitchen table, watching as Eli spun his skillet around and around in circles. "Dude!" She leapt to her feet. "We should totally figure out what she's doing! It could be something we could use for blackmail!"

"Blackmail…" He didn't respond for a few moments, apparently thinking. And then he lifted his head and smirked up at her, showing all of his teeth in an evil expression. "Mama only said that we couldn't bother Yolanda. She didn't say anything about Lizzie."

Gill grinned back. "Exactly."

~.~.~

Of course, before they could begin their quest to discover what Lizzie was doing in her bedroom, they had to prepare themselves for the dangers they might face. Those dangers mainly consisting of Lizzie's own frying pan of doom—named Miksa, because these two had a weird habit of naming their frying pans...

"This one is named Raymond." As shown when they headed into the kitchen and Eli knelt on the floor, digging around in one of his mutti's cabinets for a few minutes. Finally emerging with a frying pan, which he passed up to her. Just a normal frying pan, as far as Gill could tell, not red like his or overly-shiny like Lizzie's. "Since you're a beginner, you can use him."

…And people tried to tell Gill that she was weird.

"Okay…"

He stood, brandishing his own skillet-weapon. "So, we'll sneak upstairs and then I can unlock her door with a bobby-pin… I learned how to do that at summer camp last year. Mama was furious when she found out. But we'll have to be really quiet so she doesn't hear us."

Gill nodded and then immediately followed as Eli led her toward the staircase and then slowly climbed up to the second floor. Trying to keep his tread as quiet as possible—much more successfully than Gill herself. But that was just because this was his house, so of course he'd be better at missing the squeaky steps than she was…

Not that it seemed to matter either way, as Lizzie didn't suddenly scream at them from her bedroom. She didn't seem to hear them as all, not even when Eli dropped down in front of her door. Thumping softly.

For a moment, they both just waited there, listening for any sound from inside. But there was nothing…

So he reached up into his ponytail, cautiously removing a little black bobby-pin, which he then inserted into the lock.

…Gill made a mental note to ask Uncle Fritz or Big Mike to teach her how to do that.

It seemed like forever before he finally grinned excitedly and leaned backwards. Flashing Gill a quick thumbs up before he rose to his feet…

And thenthrew the door open and burst inside with a loud "Ha ha! Caught you, Lizzie!"

"Eli!" And he was answered by an infuriated screech. "Get out of my room!"

"Hey, what are you reading?"

"Give that back!"

Ah, Gill loved the sound of an angry Lizzie. Particularly when she was angry at someone else, as that meant that she wasn't the one in danger of being attacked by Miksa—aka: the evil frying pan of doom and despair.

"What the hell is this?"

"I said to give it back!"

And that sounded interesting and worthy of the interest of her awesomeness. Which meant that it was now time for Gill to walk into the room and find out what was going on. Which she did.

And found Lizzie and Eli practically wrestling on the floor, Eli holding tightly to an opened book with one hand while using the hand holding Berta to fend off his enraged sister. His expression was confused, obviously not sure what to make of the book that his eyes were now perusing. And then it changed into something disgusted.

"Dude, why are there guys making out in this book? That's so gross, Lizzie!"

"No, it isn't!" She finally managed to break past his defensive barrier and snatched the book out of his hand, hurriedly cradling it against her chest as if worrying that he might steal it away if she let it go.

He just sat up, staring at her with a confused expression. Before his eyes roamed around the rest of the room—at about the same time that Gill also began taking in more of the setting.

And realised that there were stacks of books. Everywhere… Many with colourful covers, depicting men gazing soulfully at each other or locked in each other's embrace or even kissing.

"Dude, what the hell?" And Eli jumped to his feet, staring at the books with a rather disturbed expression. "Where did you get these?"

Lizzie scowled up at him and then set the book that she had been reading on top of one of the piles. "Kiku let me borrow them. They're called boys' love… Or yaoi. And they're wonderful, so shut up."

"But…" He glanced back toward Gill. Who had now walked inside the room and picked up one of the books. Hmm, she remembered seeing Kiku with something like this before. She just hadn't thought to actually see what it was…

And there was another pile of books sitting on her desk, looking untouched. Which Gill headed toward.

"What are those?" Eli beat her, though. Which wasn't awesome, since she'd noticed them first.

"Those are yuri. I'm giving them back, though, since that's definitely not what I wanted."

And Gill watched as Eli picked up the top book… And his entire demeanor changed. She could see the cover of this one had two girls on it with their hands clasped together. Also gazing soulfully into each other's eyes. He stared at it for a few seconds, the confusion and disgust immediately disappearing to be replaced by something blank.

And then he turned the page.

And then turned the next page.

And in about five seconds, he was sitting on Lizzie's bed, eyes scanning over the pages as he turned them at a ridiculously rapid pace.

Okay, so she was getting ignored.

This was almost as boring as watching him spinning Berta around on the kitchen table. What about the blackmail? That was the whole point of this, right?

Lizzie was scowling at him, hands resting on her hips as she attempted to gain his attention with her evil glare… Completely failed at doing so…

"Get out of my room, Eli. I was just reading…"

He threw his hand up in a gesture to keep quiet. Eyes never leaving the pages.

Until he finished, what seemed like forever later. And lifted his head to stare at both of them, his expression completely dazed. Like he'd just woken from a dream or something.

And then he coughed, a faint flush crossing his cheeks as he seemed to finally return to reality.

"Um…"

"Get out of my room, you two!" Lizzie walked over to the other side of the room, reached behind her desk. And pulled out the evil frying pan of doom and despair.

"Wait, Lizzie…"

"You have two seconds."

"But, Lizzie...Can I keep these, please?"

Gillian had hurried over to the door as soon as evil Miksa appeared. But she froze at that, glancing over toward Eli with a surprised expression. Dude, had he just said please to Lizzie?

Holy crap, these books were cursed!

"Wha—?" Although Lizzie seemed just as surprised as she was… "You want—why?"

"Because…" He was now cradling the book to his chest, eyes starting to look dazed again. "That was… so amazing… I can't even describe… The emotion, passion…"

And that was when Gill decided that she was out of here. Because something had just possessed Eli and she sure as heck wasn't waiting around to have it try to take over her awesomeness too. At least Yolanda wasn't hiding evil demon books in her bedroom.

Probably, at least.

A/N: You know, if I were going to try to put the inhabitants of Pleasantville on a line from least sane to most sane… (We can also add another axis of most accepting of their insanity to most in denial about their insanity, just to make it more interesting) I'm pretty sure that Eli and Lizzie would be at the very very end of the insanity meter. Since they're both complete nutjobs. The fact that Gill thinks they're insane just says something.

I still love them, though. Especially Eli. And his Cherry Red Iron Handle Skillet named Berta. When I have my own kitchen, I'll have to buy a skillet like that and name it Berta. Because.

And they have been introduced to yaoi and yuri. I feel sorry for the poor, unsuspecting universe…

How it relates to the prompt. Hey, yaoi and yuri makes Eli and Lizzie smile. xD Maybe not anyone else, though… Haha.

Next one is SILENCE. Which is a fun one. Becaaaaaaaaause…

You get to meet Johnson's brothers. Hahaha! ;D