A/N Happy thank you to the readers day! So sorry that this took a while, and I hope it doesn't get lost amongst the mass of excellent 2/28 updates (28/2 for my non-American chicks).

Another lingering interlude type chapter, and in the next one you will start to get some answers. Edward's point of view may also be coming *smiles*. I am moving house this week but I will do my best as always to get the update to you in a timely fashion.

Thank you to my betas elusivetwilight and cereuleanblue for fitting me into your busy weeks.

Song: 'You' By Fisher

Where Nobody Knows

…And you
You make me run
And you
You make me want to live…

-x-x-x-

I sat there stewing next to Charlie after he got off the phone from Billy. I was waiting for some indication of what happened to Jacob or that he was going to go down to the hospital to see them. It didn't look likely though as I watched him on autopilot, going through copies of police files and making a few phone calls. At times he just sat there, staring at nothing.

I couldn't just watch him, I needed purpose and answers, so I left the house to go to the hospital myself. I discovered that I could cheat when moving from place to place. I started on my way, thinking about where I was going, and the next thing I knew I was standing in Forks Hospital waiting room. It was useful, but it made me recognize that I really had no concept whatsoever of how long I had been this way, lingering. I thought it was possibly far, far shorter than I imagined. Determining this was made more difficult by the lack of clarity I was finding now in my short term memories. I don't know if I was going into a protection mode by trying to erase the trauma, or if it was a symptom of my lingering form.

The hospital quickly gave me the skeevies, when I found that I had a surreal sense of what I could only assume was the presence of death and dying around me. I hoped it didn't include an ability to see dead people, ghosts or maybe others like me, whatever I was. I wasn't sure I wanted the opportunity to see any of that. The chill I felt rushing around me was encouragement enough to find Jacob and then get out of there as soon as I could.

I managed to find 'Black' listed on the board in the emergency department. When I walked into his room I was met with the naked torso of my friend covered in patches and wires plugged in to all sorts of machines. I clutched at my shirt, taken aback by the sight of my best friend, still in his hospital bed apart from the assisted rise and fall of his chest.

"Jacob," I released aloud in a rush of breath.

I did a double take when I noticed the pretty young nurse I was standing beside actually shivered a little when I spoke. It was the first reaction I had seen that was linkable to my presence, and for a moment it totally unnerved me. I convinced myself to shake off any misreading, sure that she was simply cold. My study of her was broken by my interest in the emergency department resident, who was talking to Jacob's father.

"Fortunately he's now much more stable," the doctor said to Billy, "and we should be able to start bringing him out of the induced coma tomorrow afternoon, if that slight brain swelling continues to reduce overnight."

I processed what he had said. The coma was induced. That was better than the alternative. Outwardly he didn't look well, but it wasn't too horrific. I worried that meant the internal damage was fairly significant. They took his files with them, so I wasn't able to snoop for anymore information. I could hazard a guess though, and my bet was on that darn motorcycle he'd been restoring with Embry. He must have crashed it somewhere, judging by the few abrasions he also had on his chin and shoulder. Charlie had always said he knew from experience that a motorcycle was a death trap in disguise.

Billy was across the bed from me in his wheelchair. He looked worried and pained, but not in the way Charlie did tonight. I recognised the difference. Billy had hope that was alive and breathing, whereas Charlie's hope was fading fast.

As I stood there, watching the machines breathe for my friend, I just wanted to touch him, to show him that I was here. Given his current condition, I decided to take the risk I had been desperate to take with everybody else. I reached my hand cautiously out in front of me, hesitating when I noticed my skin almost turning transparent. Choosing to ignore it, I continued toward Jacob's body. When I made contact with the soft skin of his hand it was both comforting and bizarre. The sensation was there, but not in the same tactile way as when I was normal and breathing. Then the monitor of Jacob's heart started flipping out with a sequence of really irregular beats. When it startled Billy I snapped my hand away, not wanting to cause a scene or create concern that his condition was unstable.

As I stared at the monitors showing me evidence of his life, Billy's phone rang. I watched him pull it from his pocket and flip it open to answer.

"Charlie, what's the latest?" Billy said immediately.

There was a frustrating pause as he listened down the phone.

"Alice Cullen's there?

…Oh…Alice…

"No, no. You stay put. Did they say anything about Edward?

Edward.

I guess it was a blessing that I'd managed not to be consumed by thoughts of him while I was coping with Renée and Charlie…

"Poor guy…and Alice. All of you. Look, just stay and concentrate on finding Bella. Jacob is stable, so fingers crossed for big improvements tomorrow.

"Yeah buddy, no worries. Take care, Charlie.

Billy's conversation was the reminder that I needed to get back to Charlie and Renée, and maybe soon I would be brave enough to go to the Cullens. I blew Jacob a kiss, willed him to survive and be well again, then turned away.

People always say to others in these situations to have hope, to pray, to have a little faith. Those were commodities that seemed to be out of my reach, as everything seemed to be shattering around me. Would I fade away and disappear if I gave up hope for things to go back to normal? If I gave up on my connection to the real world, perhaps I would move on to the next place, whatever or wherever that may be. Maybe that was the only way that I could release my family and friends from the pain and anxiety they were all facing, mostly because of me.

-x-x-x-

When I got back to the porch at home, I took a moment to look around me. We had a quiet street with very few houses spread out along it. I heard the faint cry of a baby across the road. I could just make out our neighbour standing in a lit window upstairs, trying to settle the newborn in her arms.

Being so young, I had never given it much consideration before. It sunk in now that that would never be me, standing in my own house with a newborn.

My mother would never help me into my wedding dress. My father would never walk me down the aisle. They would never see me as a mother, hold their grandchildren in their arms or watch them grow up. I never decided if any of that was what I wanted, but I would have at least liked for it to be an option. For them as much as for me.

Pushing the front door open, I caught a glimpse of Charlie trudging up the stairs. I was surprised to follow him into my room, rather than to his own. He looked around slowly, brushing his fingers over my furniture and belongings with a reverent touch.

I got the impression that Charlie was trying to get closer to me. Perhaps trying to remember things or find something he never knew. Maybe he was looking for signs of any foreshadowing of what had happened to me.

He was over by my dresser when things went from bad to worse in the space of a few seconds. He looked over a frame that held a snap of me, Edward, Jasper and Alice. He picked up my tall perfume bottle and put it to his nose, before replacing it carefully. He simply ghosted over most of the other bits sitting on the wooden surface, not wanting to disturb things from where I had left them. Then he touched my little red iPod, which I had plugged into my stereo speakers. I instantly recognized the aching piano melody of a Sparklehorse cover of a song from one of Charlie's favorite bands. The notes broke out into the room, previously frozen with silence.

"So…so you think you can tell…heaven from hell…"

I willed him with all my nonexistent might to turn it off. But by the time the words "I wish you were here" oozed inconsiderately out of the speakers, my father was in tears. I had never seen Charlie cry before. Not when my mom left, not when his mother died, not when he smashed the coffee table just before. I was certain he may have cried on these occasions, I just hadn't seen it. Even if I could read through the façade, he had always put on a brave face for me. His usually strong presence had been gradually wearing away since my disappearance. The last fragments cracked, severed, shifted, crumbled and I watched him break apart.

He melted onto the edge of my bed and sat there with his eyes watery and reddening. I wanted to tell him I was sorry. Sorry I was hurting him. At this point I no longer wanted to accept death lying down. I had no idea how this worked. Could I fight hard enough and replace my soul, if that's what I was at the moment, back within my body? Could I will someone to pump my heart with so much encouragement that it would resume beating? Did I have any control at all? I needed someone to save me from the darkness. I wasn't ready to leave. I needed Charlie. I needed Renee. My Alice…my Alice would know how to make this better somehow.

…Edward…

I couldn't help my dad. I couldn't help him when I was like this. I wanted him to feel my presence, my love, my soul ghosting around him so he would hold together. I put my hands into my pockets in an attempt to close myself off from the pain haunting the room. In my left hand, I felt a piece of paper. Grandma Marie's note. I was so confused by where I was in time and space; it felt only moments ago that she had appeared to me after I left Charlie by my truck. I pulled it out, noticing when I looked at my skin that it was translucent again, yet more so than when I was with Jacob. I wondered if my connection with where I lingered was almost fading. I felt like I was running out of time to do something about my situation. I opened Grandma's note to read it again.

Bella,

Hold fast to those who love you,

And to those you hold in love,

For it will be the strong and reciprocated

hold of love that conquers darkness.

X

Darkness. That was exactly what this felt like. Overwhelming darkness. Was Grandma Marie actually telling me something? Was this an answer to my plight?

Love.

Hold fast to those who love you.

And to those you hold in love.

…My family…

…The Cullens...

Edward.

An almighty rush hit me. Before I could even make an attempt to help Charlie, I was enveloped in a thick layer of impenetrable, syrupy blackness.

-x-x-x-