They departed early in the morning, both of them sitting in the awkward silence the before had instilled. Miles and place markers flowed past the window as Castiel stared in wonder. It was such a shame humans did not appreciate it. Looking back to his surroundings inside of the car before his eyes landed on something he did not understand, he mused aloud.
"The glove compartment is inaccurately named."

Dean peered at Castiel through the corner of his eye, searching for some reason behind his sudden outburst.
"Why's that?"
"It does not customarily contain instruments to keep appendages warm."
"English?"
"Gloves are not inside."
"Huh."
Thinking on the contents of his glove compartment, he chuckled gently. The Angel turned to him, obviously confused by the action.
"I've got gloves in my compartment."
"Oh."
"So it's not all wrong."
"I see."
Castiel turned back to the window, but Dean felt a little tension release from their exchange. Dean smiled softly to himself as he focused on the road ahead. They were going to be okay. As they stopped for the night, Dean thought on the weight of the vial still resting in the pocket of his coat. Gulping down a little liquid courage, he knew he had to ask.
"Hey Cass?"
"I am beginning to think that when you address me like that our conversations will not be pleasant."
"No! I mean, look – just listen, okay?"
"What Dean?"
The hunter slowly pulled the empty vial out of his pocket. He hesitated before showing it to Castiel. The ex-Angel automatically tensed, Dean knew he would regret this.
"I was just…I was thinking. If you used your Grace in that spell, how did you get it in this?"

Castiel knew he should have been more cautious. Conceding defeat for one of the first times on this journey, he let Dean have the truth.
"I used this."
Reaching his hand into the pocket if his trench coat that always kept close, he revealed his Angelic Blade. Weighing it in his hands, he looked at its sleek silver shape as he continued.
"It is an Angelic Blade, one of the only things that can kill or harm an Angel."
"So then…"
"I used it to cut myself so that I could get the required amount of Grace."
"And since you aren't sporting any glowing cuts…"
"I healed myself, yes."

Dean digested this new information slowly. Somehow he couldn't stop thinking Castiel was trying to kill himself.
"Why?"
His voice came out shakier than he had intended. 'God damn this emotional bullshit.'
"What do you-"
"Why are you killing yourself to do all of this? Don't you dare say it was for me-"
"It was, Dean. I have rebelled against Heaven, been sentenced to Dean and yet still I fight. I have tortured Demons, knowingly harmed myself and I did it – all of it – for you."
Castiel had made his way to Dean as he spoke, their bodies only inches apart as he stared him down with his too blue irises. Dean couldn't look at him then, couldn't let him get any closer than he already was. He couldn't take losing any more.
"How long do we have?"
"The answer won't make you feel any better, Dean."
"I have a right to know."

Castiel knew he was right, knew he had that right. Still, it pained him to be so close only to feel like his words would become an ocean between them.
"Three months."
"Jesus Christ, Cass! Did you really think it wouldn't matter to me if you just up and died nine months ahead of schedule? Fuck, man…"

Dean stormed past Castiel, taking special care not to brush him as he walked past. He didn't want to feel the Angel, not now. With a looming deadline and the idea that he had gotten so close to someone only to lose them too it was all just too much. He needed to get as far away from it all as he could and yet he couldn't afford to run away so late in the game. Sam was too close for him to screw up now.

Castiel couldn't get the vial out of his head. The idea of it being his undoing wasn't what plagued as his conscience – it was the thought that over the last 24hrs Dean had decided to hold onto it and even now he had it in his hand as if he was reluctant to lose it.
"Why did you keep it?"

Dean had no idea what Castiel was on about.
"Keep what?"
"The vial. Why did you pocket it?"
Oh fuck.
"I…just did, okay?"

Castiel turned to Dean then, watching the tension in his shoulders as his curiosity only became stronger. He pushed harder still.
"Yes, but why, Dean?"
"Because I wanted to, okay?"
Dean flipped around to face him, his eyes swimming with emotions foreign to Castiel.
"I just…"
Dean looked away again averting his eyes like it physically hurt him to look.
"I wanted to know I'd have some piece of you, something to…I dunno, remember you by when all of this is over and you go back to Heaven."
Castiel's brow furrowed, confused by Dean's confession. Sudden clarity hit him and for a moment all he could do was stare at Dean in disbelief.
"You don't believe I would come back if I left."
It was a statement, not a question. Gauging Dean's reaction in both body and soul, he knew he had been right.
"Dean, I would come back for you."
"Right, because you have a reason to stay."
"Dean, I do not require one. I will always come when you call. Have my actions said nothing for me?"
"Yeah, but things-"
"The circumstances change nothing. If you need me I will be here."
Dean met his eyes at last, searching for something he did not know how to provide. Castiel didn't think, barely breathed as his hand moved on instinct until he found his right hand cupping the Righteous Man's cheek. Finally the words were with him once more.
"I will always come back."

Without thought, Dean closed the gap between them, their mouths meeting in a wordless exchange. He heard Castiel gasp gently, felt the rush of air and parted lips against his own. For a moment it was awkward until the Angel relaxed into his vessel and clumsily kissed back. It was by no means the perfect first kiss, stubble burning both of their chins as it became slightly more heated.
Still, it was comfortable and inevitable yet so right that neither man thought to continue beyond it; it was all still so new. Dean was the first to pull away, his eyes opening to the suddenly bright room and the sight of his swollen lipped Angel looking both content and confused. Clearing his throat, Dean made no move to detangle himself from Castiel's embrace.
"Cass, right now…I – we, we can't. Not now. Sammy's –"
"It is alright, Dean."
A sad smile crept onto the Angel's face then, as beautiful as it was heartbreaking.
"I know."
Dean couldn't bring himself to correct what he could only imagine was going through Castiel's mind; he couldn't bring himself to tell the Angel in his arms all of the things he knew he meant and yet he knew he'd never say.