We get to the Mellark's at four in the morning. It was eight thirty when we left and we drove straight through. He doesn't bother knocking; he just walks in and shut the door loud enough to make everyone come downstairs.
"Oh, you guys must be exhausted." Mr. Mellark says.
I'm not, actually.
"Oh, let me see the rings!" Mrs. Mellark says, grabbing both of our left hands. "Beautiful." She smiles. "How are you?" she asks me.
I shrug. "I'm annoyed."
She looks at Peeta. "Fighting?"
He crosses his arms. "They called her a worthless son of a bitch."
"Well, I would've kicked their ass." Graham says.
"See?" he says. "They deserved it."
"I'm going to bed." Peeta says, and he looks at me. "Coming?"
I nod, and he takes my hand and pulls me upstairs.
….a….
"Katniss." Mrs. Mellark says. "I think you should tell your family your thought on this whole situation." It's morning. Peeta's still dead asleep. Everyone is wide awake and I really want to go and adopt our baby girl today but I don't know if that's going to happen.
"I feel like…if I tell them, they will get angrier."
"So? They need to hear your thoughts on this. Either way, your still part of the Everdeen family. They love you. Although they may not be able to find the love, it's there. I think this is all going to blow over."
"I'm not very good at…saying how I feel."
"So write a poem." Rye says.
"Oh, no, I can't do that." Arm lock around my waist from behind. Peeta kisses the side of my neck and then he nuzzles my shoulder and sighs.
"Write a song." Peeta says.
I turn around in his arms and hug him. He hugs me back, and we're quiet for a while. "I think you need to tell them." He says. "You should sing it."
"I don't want to sing."
"Why? Katniss I've know you since you were sixteen and not once have I ever heard you sing."
"I don't like singing."
"Please?" he begs.
"Fine, I'll sing them a song." I say. "I'll send a mass text to my family of the video."
"I'll take the video." Peeta says.
"We'll watch!" Mrs. Mellark says.
"I have the perfect song." I walk into the living room and hand Peeta my phone.
"Should I say anything?" I ask.
"No. If it's a good song that gets the message across, I think it'll be good." Mrs. Mellark says.
"Okay…tell me when to start."
"I'll gesture." He says. I wait for the signal.
I've played this song on the piano once in my entire life, but I remember the whole thing.
Peeta gives me the signal, and when I start playing, I see from the corner of my eye Peeta grin.
This song is called My Life, by Billy Joel.
Got a call from an old friend
We used to be real close
Said he couldn't go on the American way
Closed the shop, sold the house
Bought a ticket to the West Coast
Now he gives them a stand-up routine in L.A.
I don't need you to worry for me cause I'm alright
I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home
I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life and leave me alone
I never said you had to offer me a second chance
I never said I was a victim of circumstance
I still belong, don't get me wrong
And you can speak your mind
But not on my time
They will tell you you can't sleep alone
In a strange place
Then they'll tell you you can't sleep
With somebody else
Ah, but sooner or later you sleep
In your own space
Either way it's okay
You wake up with yourself
I don't need you to worry for me cause I'm alright
I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home
I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life and leave me alone
I never said you had to offer me a second chance
I never said I was a victim of circumstance
I still belong, don't get me wrong
And you can speak your mind
But not on my time
I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life and leave me alone
I stop playing. "Okay, it's done." Peeta says.
I turn around to face them.
"Your voice is impeccably amazing." Mrs. Mellark says.
"Thank you." I say.
"Are you guys getting a kid?" Rye asks.
"Yes." Peeta says. "Speaking of..." He looks at me and raises his eyebrows. "Do you want to go do that?"
"Yes." I say.
"I want to come." Audrey, Peeta's cousin says. She's sixteen.
"No." Aunt Jessica says, her mother. She sighs.
"Okay. Just let me get dressed and showered and everything and I'll be right down." He says, and he hands me my phone and darts upstairs.
I go and pick every single person in my family and attach the video to the text and write "hey, I know you guys hate me and all but this is just my thoughts on this."
I send it and then wait. The first reply I get is from Effie.
Effie: if that's how you feel
The next one is from Reed.
Reed: k
Haymitch: I need to talk to you. I don't care where you are or what state your in. I need to talk to you. I'm not looking to cause any trouble.
Mom: this is just rude and immature of you to do
I run my fingers through my hair.
Me: so is kicking your daughter out of the family.
Mom: ok Katniss whatever you say
I decide to message back Haymitch.
Me: I don't know about that.
Haymitch: I want to help you
Me: help me how?
Haymitch: where's Peeta?
Me: He's upstairs
Haymitch: do you have a house
Me: no
Haymitch: k
I don't get a reply from anyone else.
But then my phone starts ringing.
"Who is it?" Rye asks.
"Kale." I hesitate. Then I give in. "Hello?" I ask.
"I don't have much time." He says. "This is fucked up. Your twenty six and you can do whatever the fuck you want. I don't know where you are or what your doing but I want you to know that I love you and I'm here for you no matter what and that I'm moving out to wherever you are. I love you Katniss.
Me: moms gonna kill you
Kale: I'm eighteen so I can do what the fuck I want.
Me: okay...
Kale: I have to go! Text me!
The line goes dead.
"Who was that?" Peeta asks. He's wearing a gray long sleeve v-neck that's tight like that shirt he wore when he came to visit at work, and a pair of black jeans and tan shoes.
"Kale." I say. I explain everything he told me.
"He's too young to live alone even though he is eighteen. He'll need a roommate and he doesn't have one." Peeta says.
I get a text.
Kale: Haymitch is paying for it. Where are you
Me: Sheridan, Wyoming
Kale: okay
"Haymitch is paying for it." I say. "Whatever. Let's just forget it for now."
"Okay." He nods. "We'll be back."
"With my grand baby?" Mrs. Mellark asks.
"That's the plan." Peeta says, and he pulls me out the door.
We drive to the foster home that we passed on the way here and stop at Walmart. We get a car seat and some clothes for a two year old girl and diapers and wipes and desitin and baby powder. We'll go back when we need something else. We go to the foster home after we set up the car seat in the parking lot and pull in the driveway. It said on their website that we can just show up and have everything take care of.
He knocks. A girl probably fifteen answers the door. "Mom." She says. "There's people here."
I can hear the squealing of children in the house and giggling.
A woman comes to the door. "How can I help you?" She asks.
"You run a foster home?" Peeta asks.
"Yes. Are you looking to adopt?"
"Yes." He says, and she smiles. "Well, come on in." She leads us to an office and shuts the door. "Are you looking for a specific age?" She asks. "Gender?"
"We want a little girl." Peeta says. "Around two years old."
"We have one. She's quiet. She loves baby dolls and she likes to cuddle. She doesn't talk much. I think she just wishes someone would play with her. Her name is Erin Lily. I'll go and get her." She walks out.
I look at Peeta and take a deep breath. "Are you having second thoughts?" he asks.
"No. Are you?" I ask.
He smiles and shakes his head. "No. I'm nervous though."
"Me too." I mumble.
The lady comes back holding the hand if an adorable toddler. She was probably a premature baby. I can tell because she is only up to my knees. Se has brown hair down to about an inch past her shoulders and wide, curious brown eyes. She has baby doll lips.
She is the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever landed on.
The woman shuts the door and drops the child's hand. The little girl stands there. She has a baby doll dangling from her hand and it only has one arm and one eye.
"Hi." She says.
"Hi." I smile. Peeta and I squat down in front of her.
"What's your name honey?" Peeta asks. She sits down on the floor.
"I'm Erin Lily. I'm this much."
She holds up six fingers.
"We haven't quite gotten her good with numbers. Or colors."
I nod at the women and turn back to Erin.
She's staring at me and then she walks over to me and grabs my braid and touches it. Her grip is so soft and gentle. She looks at her hair and she looks confused.
"Why do I no look like that?" She asks.
"Because I made my hair look like that. See?" I take my hair out of the braid.
Her tiny lips form an O and she follows the waves of my hair with her hand.
"What your name?" She asks.
"I'm Katniss, and this is Peeta."
She smiles then. Her teeth are perfectly straight. "Okay."
She sits down again and starts playing with her doll.
I wNt this child. I want to tuck her in and sing to her and cuddle with her.
She is perfect.
I look at Peeta and see he's thinking the same thing.
We both stand up.
"Do you want me to give you a minute?" She asks.
"No, I think we're good." Peeta says, and I nod.
"And?" She asks.
"We want to adopt her. How does this work?"
"Are you married?" she asks, and we nod.
She starts explaining the process. She sits us down at desk chairs and as we're talking, Erin walks over to us and crawls into my lap. She shoves her thumb in her mouth, rests her head against my chest, and goes to sleep.
We sign all the papers and anything.
"Okay." She says. "When we gets older, she's going to ask about her parents. I'm sure you know that. We don't know anything. We have their names, where she was born and all that. We know they just out her up for adoption. Her mother was fifteen and her father was, too. She was born in Austin, Texas. We don't have the hospital name. She loves dolls
And cuddling. She loves bedtime stories and she's afraid of the dark." She pauses. "That's all."
"So we can just...leave?"
"Yes."
She says. I stand up, shifting her so she's still sleeping.
"Thank you." I say.
"The pleasure is all mine. I'm going to have to stop by your house in a couple weeks to make sure she's okay. I'll just pop in when you get your house."
"Thanks." Peeta says.
We walk out.
"Do you want her?" I ask Peeta. He carefully takes her from my hands. I watch him out her in her car seat. We get in and start the half hour drive back to the Mellark's. We stop at Walmart again and he runs inside and gets her a new baby doll. When we pull up at the Mellark's, she wakes up. I get out and unbuckle her. She raises her arms at me and I lift her out of her seat.
"Are you Mommy?" She asks.
"Yes, and he's Daddy." I point at Peeta. She stares at him.
"I want down please." She says. I out her down and she walks ahead of us, jumping around in the snow all the way to the front door.
She's singing Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
We open the front door. "It's the Mickey Mouse clubhouse! Come inside it's fun inside!" She giggles and I smile. She's so cute. Peeta and I leave the bags of her stuff by the door. She goes walking in the living room with her new doll. We follow her. Everyone is standing up. She sits down in the middle of everyone and starts playing with her new doll.
"She's adorable. What's her name?"
"Erin Lily Mellark." I say.
"That's perfect." Mrs. Mellark says.
...8...
"I can't believe I agreed to this." I mutter.
I'm going to meet Haymitch and Kale at Starbucks. Peeta's sleeping so I have Erin with me. She's dead asleep right now. I'm sitting in the parking lot staring at Haymitch's car.
I brace myself and get out. I go around to Erin's door and unbuckle her and pick her up. I grab her diaper bag. She has her doll in her hand. I lock the car and go inside.
They're sitting in the back. It's clear they're thinking I'm not going to show up. I walk over to them. They look at me, and both of their faces show shock. Yeah, I told them I'm a mother now but still, they look shocked.
I sit down across from them. "I'm just letting you know now that if you upset me or Erin, I'm leaving."
"Where's Peeta?" Kale asks.
"He's asleep." I reply.
"Alright." Haymitch says. "I'm not here to harass you and tell you what to do because I think what they're doing is wrong and the only way this situation can be mended is if your mother is the one that steps it up and apologizes. I advise you don't contact her until then. Now, I know you and Peeta don't have much money so I want to help." He slides a paper across the coffee table. I see a two story house with giant windows and two garage doors. The garage door is on the flat ground. You go up stairs to get to the glass front door. Everything that is not glass is stone. I can see from the photo that on the third floor, the second living floor, there is a glass hand railing for the staircase.
"Nice." I say.
"Want it?"
he asks. I look at the price.
"This house is 949,000 dollars!" I exclaim.
"So?" He asks. "You, my nephew, I guess, and my niece." He gestures to Erin. "Are worth it."
I narrow my eyes.
"What's the catch?"
He smirks. "Your brother here." He pats Kale's shoulder. "Is moving in across the street. It's your job to take care of him."
I look at Kale and he grins evilly. Erin moves her head and then lifts her eyes up.
"Mommy." Erin cries. She starts looking all around. "Where is here?"
"We're at Starbucks." I run my fingers through my hair. "It's okay."