Dinner is a sober affair. Mom and Peeta eat with me in the kitchen, and then they leave. Mom had to return to the hospital to continue her rounds, and Peeta had duties to attend to. Night had fallen within a few hours of dinner, and as before, my sleep was ravaged by nightmares. The nightmares were all over the map, but they usually end with me getting to Prim, but both of us ended up dying. I decide to get up and put a coat on. With Peeta attending to his duties I know I won't get any sleep, so I decide to get a breath of fresh air.
As I'm stepping out onto the balcony I see Finnick staring out over the Capitol. Seeing Finnick looking out over the Capitol reminds me of the night before Games last year, and Peeta was already on the balcony staring off into the distance. I smile as I speak up. "Can't sleep?"
I startled Finnick, and I let out a chuckle. "Yeah, but unlike you my sleep isn't plagued by nightmares." he says.
I lightly punch his arm, and it's his turn to chuckle. "You standing out here staring out over the Capitol reminds me of the night before the Games last year." I say.
"Oh, yeah. Why's that?" he asks.
"I was unable to find sleep, not because I was having nightmares, I just couldn't sleep. I head up onto the rooftop, and I see Peeta staring off into the distance. You out here reminds me of a time that seemed so long ago." I say.
"I'm just contemplating what I'm going to do with my life now. Before I was at the mercy of the Capitol to keep Annie safe. Now, for the first time in my life, I don't know what to with myself." he says.
"You're going to an amazing husband, and dad." I say gently patting Finnick's arm.
"What about you Girl on Fire, what are you going to do?" he asks.
"First off, I'm going to leave that name behind." I say hotly.
"I don't know. I think it suits you." He laughed.
"Yeah, I don't plan on dressing up in outfits just to set them on fire. Not my style. From there I'm going to get back with Peeta, and go forward with him." I say.
"Get back with Peeta? I'm pretty sure you two never broke up." he said.
"You know what I mean." I say exasperated.
"That I do. And some day you will make an amazing wife, and mom." he says.
There was a moment of silence that was breached occasionally by the wind knocking over rubble in the city. "One thing I'm not going to miss is the Capitol. I want to put as much distance between me and this place." I say.
"The Capitol has grown on me." he says with a chuckle.
"You what bothers me the most?" I say.
"What?" he asks.
"We've finally taken the Capitol down, deposed Snow and his cronies, I'm about to execute him tomorrow, but it doesn't feel like a victory." I say looking at Finnick.
Finnick was silent for a moment. "How come?" he asked.
"I was expecting Prim to be here. Seeing as how she's dead, it doesn't feel like a victory. It's just another loss in a war that is coming to an end." I say, but I miss the sideways look that Finnick gave me. I didn't miss his silence, though. "Something wrong?"
"No. Just remember tomorrow why you're doing it." he said.
"Yeah." I said.
"Good-night." Finnick said, hugging me.
"Night." I said, returning the hug.
Finnick head back into the palace, as I remained on the balcony and continued to watch the silent city in front of me. I almost miss the hustle and bustle I saw that when I was here on the Victory Tour, but then again I want nothing more than to be back in District 12. I don't belong here. I think, as I turn and head back in and back to bed. I think of Peeta as I doze off, but my dreams are still plagued by nightmares.
Come morning I'm rouse by the sun entering the window, and it still the same eerie gray light that I saw my first morning in the Capitol last year. Just as I'm getting out of bed my door is opened, and in walks a familiar face. One that I was used to seeing in garish outfits, and outrageous colors, but the person in front of me is wearing body armor fashioned after my mockingjay suit, with some alterations, and wearing minimal makeup. I was wonder what she looked like under all that makeup and outfits. Now I know. I think.
"Morning, Katniss." Effie says in her usually chipper voice.
"You look amazing, Effie." I say.
"Thank you, but I do miss my outfits." she says.
"Trust me. You look better right now, than you ever did in your usual outfits." I said.
I get up, and head to the bathroom to get freshened up. This is just second nature. I'm used to a prep team preparing me for a public appearance, but I'm sure Effie is just as good solo as any team of three. Seeing as how she gets in and out of the outfits with little trouble, plus makeup, I'm in capable hands of Effie Trinket. I think as step behind the changing wall and put on pair of underwear and a bra, then pants to my armor.
I step from behind the wall and let Effie put on my makeup. After she was finished I finished putting my armor on. We stare at each other for a time.
"Shoot straight." Effie said, and then exited.
I nod, and then exit the palace. I make my way down to the City Circle. Kind of Poetic. To have Snow's execution in the City Circle. I think. When I'm step on the main drag leading to the City Circle I notice one by one people joining me in my march towards the execution. By the time I'm standing in front of Snow, and President Coin I have a sea of followers. I pull my bow off my back and look at President Coin.
I drown out whatever Coin said next because I could care less for these political speeches. The speech went on for a few minutes, but all I could do was look between Snow and President Coin. I remember Snow saying that Coin was just like him, and she pretty much is. I barely catch Coin saying that Snow has been sentenced to death, which is to be carried out immediately. I nock an arrow and aimed the arrow at the rose on Snow's chest, as I scan his face for any sign of fear, resentment, remorse, or anger. But all I can see is that same look of amusement that ended our last conversation. Then Boggs words enter my mind. There's going to come a time when you're going to have to back whoever the next leader is. If it isn't Coin, you're a threat to her power. I stare at Snow and his eyes meet mine and I can almost hear the sentence that ended out conversation. Come now, my dear Miss Everdeen. I thought we promised to not to lie to each other.
He's right. We did. I thought
I change my line of fire, and release the arrow. The arrow finds its home in President Alma Coin's chest, and I see her fall off the ledge rolling to a stop, the look of death staring up at the world. I shrug the quiver off my shoulder, as I drop the bow. I feel a pair of hand grab me in case I decided to run. Then another, and then until I being lifted off my feet and cared away. I see Gale standing up near the podium with the rest of the council. We make eye contact, but it was only for a moment as I'm being cared away.
They wind up taking me to the Training Center, and they locked in my room on the Twelfth floor. I'm here for a couple of days as a jury deliberated my fate. They feed me at regular intervals. At first I was going to starve myself to death, so I could join Prim and my dad, but I thought of how Prim would be so disappointed with me if I didn't live. So I eat the meals they brought me.
At the end of the third day the guards open my door, and Haymitch enters.
"What's going on?" I ask.
"Your trial is done and over. You're guilty of killing Coin, but a doctor that was monitoring your progress, got your sentence dropped to exile." he said.
"As if I want to see the country any more than I already have." I said, still upset about Prim.
"Cheer up. You still have me and Peeta." he said.
I walked up to Haymitch and gave him a hug. "A small consolation in all of this." I said.
We turn to leave, but I stop and look at my room one last time seeing as how I will never come back here. I probably won't come back to the Capitol. Ever.
"Plutarch said that, when the time is right, President Paylor would give you an official pardon." Haymitch said.
"Do you think that either of us is going to leave District 12?" I ask with a chuckle.
"That may be true, but you might want to visit your mom someday." he said.
"True enough." I said.
The emotions that have been building since the explosion are coming full circle, and I can't stop them. I'm able to hold the tears at bay, but I can't stop myself from feeling like crap. Haymitch throws an arm around my shoulder, and we leave. As we were exiting the Training Center, Effie is waiting for us.
"I couldn't let you leave without a proper good-bye." she said.
"I know." I said.
"You're going to have to take care of yourself now Katniss. Nobody will do it for you, but I want you to make me a promise." she said.
"What's that?" I asked.
"I want you to find the life of a victor. The life you should have had instead of being drawn into a war." she said pulling me into a hug.
"How am I supposed to do that?" I asked.
"This should help." she said.
I stare at Effie as I pull away, but my body all but stops functioning when I hear the next sound. Actually a voice. "Katniss."
I thought my mind might have been playing tricks on me, but I couldn't stop myself. I turn around to see Prim come hobbling up behind me on crutches next to the entrance of the Training Center. I couldn't stop myself. I run towards Prim, and I almost run her over because my tears had blurred my vision. I manage to stop short, and throw my arms around Prim. "I thought you were dead." I said chocking on my emotions.
"Technically, I was." she said choking on her emotions. too.
There was a long moment were we just embraced each other. "The moment I'm cleared to have visitors, your butt better be on the next train to see me." I said, wiping.
"Yes, ma'am." she said sarcastically, wiping her tears.
"Good-bye, Primrose." I said.
"Good-bye Katniss." Prim said.
I kiss my sister on her forehead, give her a wink, and then turn and head back to Effie. "You have no idea how much that meant to me." I said giving Effie one last hug.
"I'm pretty sure I do. Good-bye Katniss." Effie said returning the hug.
"Good-bye, Effie." I said, and then pulled away.
I turn and make my way to the waiting car, but Haymitch remained to say good-bye to Effie. I've never been so happy in my life. The only thing that could make this day better would be if we were going home with Peeta.
"Is Peeta waiting at the train station?" I asked.
"Yeah, plus two other people who want to say good-bye." Haymitch said.
We lapse into a comfortable silence that was broken when we got to the train station. To my great surprise both Gale and my mom were waiting for me at the station. The Good-byes were short and sweet, although I had to ask mom about Prim. "Mom. How long has Prim been up and moving around?" I asked.
"The day you killed President Coin." she said.
"And since I was in custody, you couldn't get word to me that she was alive." I said. My mom nodded her head. "Thank you. For everything. For putting up with me when I was being insufferable." I said, and I was choking on my emotions again.
My mom didn't say anything she just pulled me close and let me cry. "You're my daughter. I know I wasn't there for you when you needed me, but I will always love you." she said.
I kissed my mom good-bye because I have no clue when, and if I will see her again. I walk over to Gale and pull him into a hug. "If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have made it as far as I did." I whispered in his ear.
"Farewell, Catnip. I will miss you." Gale said as we parted from the hug.
"Farewell, Gale." I said, and that was the last time I ever saw Gale.
The three of us boarded the train and that was the last time I saw my mom, for a time. That was until later. Much later.
When we got back to District 12 the three of us made our way to Victor's Village. Haymitch went home, but Peeta sent him on his way with a parting gift. "Did you give Haymitch a bag full of spirits?" I asked.
"Yeah. I figured he would need it more than we would." he said with a chuckle.
"That he will." I said, and then we started kissing again.
"Sheesh, get a room you two!" Haymitch shouted as he shut his door.
"Who asked you Haymitch?" Peeta shouted back.
I laughed. "Peeta, babe. As much as I want to make love to you again, I rather do it somewhere comfortable. Like in a bed, and we can we please take it slow. A lot has transpired in the last month or so, and I'm not sure these coming nights will be pleasant."
Peeta picks me up in his arms, and kisses me "Sure thing, honey." Peeta says, and then carried me into our house, my old one. And sure enough, I had nightmares but they weren't as bad as they used to be. I would have nightmares from my time when I was in the Capitol, and these would temporarily shut my brain down. But over time these nightmares became fewer, and fewer. But Peeta and I grew closer, and closer. Closer than we ever had. After each nightmare, after Peeta calmed me down and our lips would find each other, which had become common. One day, two months after we had returned from the Capitol, while Peeta was out planting flowers, I heard a loud crash in the kitchen. I entered to see Prim's scruffy cat Buttercup.
I just sit there and stare at the cat, and then I went to pick up the phone and call Primrose.
"What's up Katniss?" Prim asked answering the phone. I'm the only person who calls her on it, so she knows it's me. How they communicate in the Capitol is beyond me.
"Buttercup just showed up. What should I do with him?" I asked.
"I highly doubt I will be able to get out to get him anytime soon, so could you take care of him please?" she asked.
"Alright. How's your education coming along?" I asked. Last time we spoke she was on track to becoming a doctor.
"By this time next year I will be a doctor, working alongside mom!" she said excitedly.
"Wow that's great!" I said. I can hear Haymitch and Peeta bickering about something. "Hey I gotta run. I hear Peeta and Haymitch bickering about something."
"Take care, Katniss." Prim said.
"You too, Prim." I said.
I hang up the phone and head towards the front door, Buttercup following me. As usual, the dispute was over something trivial, but I like to head it off before these two do anything drastic.
"Feel better?" I asked after I split Haymitch and Peeta up.
"We were arguing about the placement of the new batch of flowers we got." Haymitch said.
"I want to plant them about the fountain in the center of Victor's Village." Peeta said.
"I said that we should line the walk way entering Victor's Village." Haymitch said.
"How many plants do we have?" I asked.
"The sent us a few pallets worth." Haymitch said.
"Which is what forty flowers?" I ask.
"Fifty." Haymitch said.
"The fact that you're arguing with Peeta about flower arrangements is astounding Haymitch." I said teasing Haymitch.
"In his defense he does live here." Peeta said.
I took a look at the walkway, the fountain, and the surrounding area. "Line the walkway with twenty flowers. Encircle the fountain with twenty flowers. With the last ten, put them wherever you like." I said.
As I was heading back into the house I saw Buttercup run off. I forgot that he was even there. I thought.
I finish up whatever chore I was doing in the house, and head back outside to help Haymitch and Peeta plant the flowers. Seeing as how there is no store, I decide to pick up my dad's old bow, and head back into the woods. I could really use Gale's help about now, but he deserves a better life than this. I think.
I spend every other day, for the first week or two hunting game, gathering roots, berries, and other greens. After I had us well stocked, I would only go into the woods when it was necessary.
A year had passed since my exile, and Effie came to join our little group. The government had slowly been cleaning up the remnants of District 12. When they had cleared out the rubble and the skeletal remains they had seeded the ground, and the grass began to grow where death had laid for the past four or five months. The mine had been shut down, and they had broken ground for a factory to be built.
I hope the factory is a lot safer than the mines. I think.
As the factory was closer to completion, more workers were sent to rebuild the district. There were shops, and house being built. I notice one of the shops was a bakery. I made light of the establishment to Peeta, and he said that he would look into it. Haymitch and Effie keep to themselves, but every now and then we see them out wandering the district.
Years have passed us by, and Peeta starts talking about wanting to start a family. I was hesitant at first, then I remembered that the Hunger Games were a thing of the past. Fourteen years have passed since my exile, and I got pregnant with our first child. A little girl, who looked exactly like Peeta, blond hair and blue eyes. And then two years later we had a boy, who looked like me, grey eyes and dark hair. Then one day, six months after our son was born, the four of were out in the field behind the district. Peeta was playing with our daughter and I was holding our son. I was lost in the beauty of the moment. In my peripheral view I see Buttercup stalking something in the distance. I turn back to watch my husband and daughter play. That was until my son had starting fussing.
"You have a nightmare little one." I said cooing. My son looked up at me, gave me a tiny little smile, and then drift off to sleep.
I tell him that nightmares are common place in our family, but they can't hurt you if you don't let them. I hear him snoring lightly, so I cradle his head in the crook of my elbow, and tilt his head up. I look out over the field and realize that Fourteen years ago this was a graveyard of sorts, and that I will have to explain to my children what happened. But I know that I having nothing to fear because I know the government won't come for me, that and Peeta will be with me. That I'm nothing more than a relic of a bygone era. The same with all the victors. So when the darkness starts to encroach on everything, that's when I make a list in my head of all the goodness I've seen in my life. It's like a game really. Repetitive. Even a little tedious after Fifteen years.
But there are worse Games to play. I think.
A/N: Thank you for joining me on this ride in telling my own version of events of what happen if the roles were reversed. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing. I have to say that you all took the Prim's death extremely well, even though it was a ploy. Thanks again.