Chapter 14 (Futures)

-Reilly-

"What the hell do you mean it's not a storyline?" I questioned, trying to keep my building anger from bursting through.

"Reilly, please just let me explain." John started. He took a step toward me and I held up my hand, not wanting him any closer.

"Don't pull this Reilly stuff on me John. I want to know what the hell is going on." I spit...my teeth clenched together. I didn't notice that my hands had become clenched fists resting on either side of me on the couch.

His eyes dark, he ignored my raised hand and crossed the room, falling to his knees in front of me and taking both of my hands in his. He took a deep breath and then whispered, "It's not a storyline. It took a lot of convincing on my part but Paul finally agreed to let me work this out my way, even if it meant losing my job. I needed him and everyone else to know, especially Jesse, just how far I would go for you Reilly. I don't care if it means losing my job over it. I..."

"I do John! I care. I absolutely refuse...there is no way in hell you are going through with this! You LOVE your job, why in the world would you put it all on the line for something as stupid as this?" I exclaimed. I tried to pull my hands away but John pulled them to his chest, gripping them tightly in his own.

"Because this," he patted my hands against his chest, "this isn't stupid. This is everything to me. YOU are everything to me. I need you to trust me Reilly, now more than ever. Yes, I love my job, I love what I do..."

"See, this is exactly what I mean. You have no reason to put it on the line like this for me! I'm not worth all this John, I'm just not.." I started to say before John put his fingers to my lips to silence me. I shook his finger away, my eyes falling to the floor. My attempt at keeping it together was failing miserably and I could feel the walls crumbling around me.

"Stop it. Cut that crap out right now. Let me finish before you go spewing out stuff that isn't even true. Yes I love my job Reilly, yes I love what I do...but there's one thing I love more than any of that. One thing I would give it all up for over and over again if I had to...and that's you. I love you more than anything in this world Reilly, please, I need you to understand that. I told you before I would walk away from everything if you asked me to and damn it I meant it. I'd give up everything for you if you'd let me." He kept my hands locked in one of his while he placed the other under my chin and lifted my face to look at him.

"You can't John, you just can't!" I exclaimed and using every bit of strength I had, I pulled my hands from his, stood and moved away from him across the room. I could see him in the mirror in front of me; he didn't move to come after me, just turned so he was sitting facing me on the floor, his arms resting across his pulled up knees.

"Why the hell not Reilly? Why can't I give up everything for you?" Even John's voice was raised now. Oh this is not what I wanted right now.

I stared at myself in the mirror, the tears betraying me and spilling down my cheeks uncontrollably. Looking over my reflection, I realized the hair, the make-up, the dress...none of it was me at that moment. All of a sudden I became what I hadn't been in six years...that unsure, restricted, reserved little girl. I raised my hands to say something but the words ran dry and my hands fell limply to my sides. "Because," I managed to whisper, "no one ever has." And with those words, what was left of the walls came down and I came apart.

John was across the room in a split second, his arms wrapping tightly around me while simultaneously spinning me around to face him. He didn't say anything at first, just pulled me to him and held me as I sobbed, burying his face in my neck. "Let me." John whispered against my neck before raising his head to look down at me. Running his thumb along my cheek and wiping away the tears he continued, "Let me be the one to risk everything for you Reilly."

Gazing up at him, his eyes burned into mine, and for the first time I felt him letting me in, felt him giving me absolutely everything he had in him and it was overwhelming. Was I ready for this? Was I really able to let someone risk everything just because they wanted to be with me? I wasn't used to any of this.

"I don't know how." My voice cracked as the words came out and I was glad John's arms were around me or I would have crumpled to the floor.

John rested his forehead gently against mine, our eyes closed, everything in the world melting away except the two of us. "Just trust me. That's all I need you to do. Trust that I can take care of this, of you. If I lose my job then so be it. Yes it will be hard but I have more than enough other projects to keep me busy and it also means you and I would get to spend a hell of a lot more time together. But I swear, as much as I can, that I will not lose to him Reilly. If I lose to him, it means he keeps his job and he's still able to get to you. I can't let that happen. I will not let him hurt you again and I will do everything in my power to beat him in three weeks."

"Why John? Why would you willingly do any of this? I don't understand what possibly throwing away ten years of hard work gets you?" I wondered.

With a loud sigh, John scooped me up into his arms and carried me back over to the couch. After setting me down gently, he stood in front of me, hands on his hips, his head slightly tilted to one side as he regarded me. "You don't get it do you? You don't get just how completely and hopelessly in love with you I am."

"I do. But loving me has nothing to do with giving up everything you've ever worked for." I answered, fiddling with my fingers again. Why did he make me so damn nervous all the time?

"It has everything to do with it Reilly, and no, I don't think you really get just how much I love you. And as far as I can figure, there is only one way for me to really make you understand. I'm praying to god that it doesn't scare you away but I want, need you to trust me." He paused as he reached down and took my left hand in his. "Because one day, when there's nothing left for you and I to worry about, when I don't have a divorce hanging over my head and the time is right for both of us,when we're somewhere that just makes sense to us...I'm going to take your hand in mine...and I'm going to get down on my knee in front of you..." As he said that he dropped to his knee, kneeling in front of my teary-eyed frame on the couch and my breath caught in my throat as he locked his eyes with mine. "And staring up at you, I'm going to pour my heart out to you, and tell you that I want to spend the rest of my life with you..." I started shaking my head back and forth, not believing what he was doing. His free hand came and cradled the side of my face, holding me still as he finished, "And then, I'm going to ask you to marry me."

I gasped, unsure if I had actually heard...Had he really just given me a heads up that sometime in the future he was going to ask me to marry him? My mind was no longer shut down, it was now strapped into a NASCAR car, flying around the track at about a thousand miles an hour. My heart felt as if it was about to fly out of my chest as I stared down at John, waiting patiently for me to say something. "You're really serious aren't you?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life. If I could I would go out and marry you tonight, damn everything else but I know that's rushing things. I just felt like I had to tell you and I know it takes some of the surprise element out of it and for that I'm sorry but...you are it for me Reilly." John's hushed words swept over me and anything I might have been trying desperately to hold onto was gone. Staring into the pool blue that was his eyes, I realized I wanted everything he did. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, I wanted to make him as happy as he made me.

Wiping my eyes, I could no longer keep a small smile from slipping out and John's eyes widened. "Do you know what the most horrible part about all of this is?" I questioned.

"What's that?" John worried, his voice full of concern.

"The most horrible part is that somewhere down the road, when you and I are alone and you do ask me to marry you..." I took a deep breath, ran my free hand down his cheek, and finally completely gave in."I'm going to say yes."

I couldn't stifle the small giggle as I watched John's eyes grow so big I could swear they'd pop out of his head. "Do you really mean..."

I cut him off, throwing my arms around his neck and kissing him with all I had in me. " Yes you crazy, insane man, when the time comes I will marry you." I whispered. The tears were still flowing down my cheeks but they were no longer sad.

In a flash, John stood, scooped me into his arms and spun me around the room, laughing loud and clear for the first time in weeks. When he finally set me back on my feet, he gazed at me, his eyes so full of emotion it was hard to see and cradled my cheek in his hand again. "I swear, when the time comes, I will ask you properly."

" I know." I whispered. Standing on tip-toe, I reached up and kissed him again. He was my life and it felt so good knowing that eventually we'd have each other in every way possible.

A few minutes later, I was leaning up against John on the couch, my back to his front with his arms wrapped around me as we tried to sort out the inevitable.

"I just need you to have enough trust in me to believe that I can and will win this match Reilly." John begged, his arms tightening around mine.

I sighed, knowing he could and most likely would win. "I'm just scared baby. It's going to be the hardest thing I'll ever have to do sitting out there watching that match."

"I know and if you don't want to be out there I'll understand." John reassured.

"No, I need to be out there. One, because I'm part of the storyline and two...I want to see Jesse finally get what he deserves." I replied.

Without turning around I could tell John was smiling when he answered me. "Don't worry Reilly, I'm going to make sure he gets everything he deserves.

"Ok, and I'll promise you something then too." I relented, turning my head to look up at him.

"You don't have to promise me anything Reilly. You gave me the only thing I needed to hear a few minutes ago.

"No this is important, both to you and to me. If you win, and Jesse is truly gone...I will get the restraining order. This way I can guarantee there's nothing left to hold us back." I gave in, knowing how important it was to him.

John's smile was a mile wide as he leaned down and kissed my forehead gently. "You, Ms. Reilly, have made me the happiest I've ever been."

"Ditto Mr. Cena." I teased before his lips were pressed to mine and my words were gone.