Liz woke to the sound of her alarm and stretched her body out, and immediately curled her body inwards at the pain from her ribs. "Owwwwww!" They hurt so badly that she felt like she was going to be sick.
She hurried from her bed as fast as possible, trying to minimize jostling her ribs further, and speed walked into the bathroom; barely making it before throwing up the meager contents that were in her stomach.
She sat back and groaned, wiped her mouth with toilet paper and flushed the toilet. She really needed to find some painkillers.
Liz rinsed her mouth out at the sink and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She was a mess. Her hair was sticking up every which way and dirt was smudged on her face from her activities from the previous night. Her skin had a grayish tinge to it and her eyes were red-rimmed.
Liz felt absolutely hideous and her body felt like shit. She was really starting to regret coming to this damned compound. If finding April wasn't so important, she would have left after the incident with Jay.
Deciding to take a shower, she walked back to her room and found Red sitting on her bed. He looked up at her and grimaced. "Are you ok, Lizzy? You look like hell."
Liz half sobbed, half laughed, "Thanks, Red." She closed her eyes, trying not to cry in front of him, because she had been doing that entirely too much lately. She wasn't normally this emotional.
"My whole body feels like its been hit by a dump truck." She stood there with her eyes still closed.
She heard him stand up, walk over to her and felt him cup her jaw with his hand, "Oh, Lizzy, I'm so sorry."
Opening her eyes, she saw the compassion in his face, and took deep breaths, trying to control her breathing.
She put her hand over the hand that was on her face and said, "I'll be Ok, Red, I just need some strong painkillers." He laughed softly and pulled her into a tender embrace, trying to be mindful of her aching ribs.
She went willingly and sighed, rubbing her hand over his heart, trying not to remember what he looked like under his shirt, and mostly failing.
Since it was a Saturday, and they didn't have to work their jobs, he was dressed in his usual white dress shirt with no tie, vest, slacks and a black belt. His vest and shirt cuffs were unbuttoned though, as if he had been in a hurry to get to her and didn't finish dressing.
After a few moments she felt like her emotions were finally under control and pulled back. She smiled and started buttoning up his vest for him. His shirt had come untucked in the front, so she started to tuck it back in for him. She was trying not to touch anything that she shouldn't, but must have accidentally brushed against him, because she heard a sharp intake of breath and then, "Lizzy, if you wanted to get fresh with me, all you had to do was ask." He was smirking.
She huffed a laugh, "Get fresh, Red? Does anyone even say that anymore?"
He smiled faintly, "I have no earthly idea, Lizzy, but the sentiment is the same." He was suddenly serious. "Have you thought anymore about what you're going to do about Tom and our situation?"
Liz looked down, sighed and started working on buttoning his cuffs, trying to delay her answer as long as possible. She finished entirely too soon, though, and looked up at him. He was looking at her expectantly.
She needed some answers from him first. "Red, you need to tell me what you know about Tom. I can't leave him without knowing for sure if he's some kind of super secret agent or if he's just the school teacher that he says he is."
He grimaced, "Liz, I can't tell you anything without compromising your safety. Can't you believe me when I say that he can't be trusted?"
She was annoyed, "Give me something to go on Red, please." Her voice had taken on a pleading tone.
He took her by her upper arms and leaned into her personal space, "Elizabeth, HE. CAN. NOT. BE. TRUSTED. He's not who you think he is, and he defiantly isn't just a school teacher. That's all I can and will tell you."
She could tell he was deadly serious, no teasing or mocking in his voice, and she felt completely devastated. Her whole life has been a lie. Tears welled up in eyes again. Dammit.
She angrily wiped them away and said, "I don't even know what to say to that, so I'm going to go take a shower and try to come up with something intelligent." She pulled out clean clothes, grabbed her bathroom kit off the top of the dresser and walked out. Neither of them saying a word to each other. He had just sat there with a closed off expression and watched her.
Liz was beyond pissed by the time she finished getting ready for the day. Her ribs were on fire by this point and she still didn't have any answers about Tom.
She stalked back into her room, ready to have it out with Red, and saw him lying down on her bed, stretched out with his hands behind his head, fast asleep on top of the covers. Her anger dissipated as fast as it had come, and she walked quietly into the room and studied him.
He looked younger and stress free with his face relaxed in sleep. Red was an attractive man, even if he was quite a bit older than her. That didn't matter to her though, because age was only a number when it came to love. Her thoughts halted at that thought. Wait, do I love him?
She didn't even have to think about it for long though, because she knew that she did love him. Completely. I'm in love with Raymond Reddington. There was no question about it. She had never felt like this for any man, not even Tom, and that scared her to death, because she had only known him for such a short time. Eight months to be exact. And there was the little problem of him being a wanted criminal who had taken many lives and had done many unspeakable things. She didn't even want to think about that right now.
Liz had gone from hating him, to reluctantly trusting him, to being friends with him, and finally to loving him.
First things first though, they needed to find April, and then take down O'Sullivan before this compound ended up like his others. Their relationship could be more fully defined at a later date..after everyone was safe.
Convinced she had a good plan, and that Red would be agreeable to it, she walked over to the bed and sat down by his hip. He didn't stir and she figured he was probably exhausted since they hadn't gotten much sleep the last couple of nights. Plus he was still grieving over the loss of Luli and possibly Dembe.
She put her hand on his stomach and rubbed it up and down softly. He woke immediately and blinked open his eyes. He still looked tired.
Red grabbed the hand that was on his stomach and laced his fingers through hers. "Are you still angry with me Lizzy? Or do you finally see that I am only withholding information to protect you?"
She looked away, looking at anything but him, "I'm not angry anymore, but I still don't like that you're withholding things from me. Things that could really help with my decision about what to do with Tom."
He reached up with the hand that wasn't holding hers and used his index finger to move her face towards him, "Lizzy, you have to accept that it is only in your best interest that I withhold things from you. I don't like it nor enjoy causing you more stress and pain."
She nodded reluctantly and he dropped his hand and ran it over the top of his head.
Liz needed to tell him her "Plan" for them. "Red, I...I." She was struggling for the right words.
He tugged on her hand and she looked at him in question. "Come lie down by me Lizzy, I can barely keep my eyes open and you look ready to fall asleep yourself."
She really was tired and figured they could have that talk after they woke up. "Red, my ribs are killing me. I really need something to take the edge off the pain."
"Oh I'm sorry, I should have brought them to you in the bathroom. I returned to my room and found you some painkillers while you were taking a shower. They're over there on the dresser." He nodded his head in that direction.
She got up as fast as possible, walked over and saw the blessed things, thanking whatever higher power out there that Red had brought some with him to the compound.
She swallowed them dry and walked back over to where Red was lying. Almost tripping over his discarded shoes. She heard him huff a small laugh at her clumsiness.
He had scooted over to the edge closest to her, so that she could lie on her left side. She climbed over him as slowly as possible so she wouldn't knee him in any unfavorable place and laid down next to him.
He immediately turned towards her, put his right arm under her head and pulled her close with his other hand, being cautious of her injured right side.
She laid her head on his shoulder and wrapped her right arm around his waist, pulling him as close as possible to her. Her eyes were already drooping, she truly was tired.
She felt his warm breath on her cheek, smelling like peppermint toothpaste, as he said, "Sleep well, Lizzy. We'll talk some more after you wake."
She nodded as he leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips, lingering for a few seconds, then pulled back and smiled faintly. "Sweet dreams."
She smiled back and closed her eyes, falling asleep almost immediately. Her sleep would be the best that she could remember having in a long while.
Liz awoke to Red softly prodding her ribs under her shirt, his fingers expertly exploring her injured side.
She groaned, "Red, what the hell are you doing? Are you trying to make me mad at you?..because you're doing a great job of it."
He smiled and said softly, "I'm sorry, Sweetheart, but you've been asleep for hours and I needed to take my mind off of the fact that I can't feel my right arm anymore, so I decided to see if I could feel any swelling."
"Sorry." She lifted her head and allowed him to pull his arm from under her head. He groaned in pain, as the pins and needles started up with a vengeance. "It's fine, Lizzy, you needed to sleep and I was happy to be here with you."
She rolled away from him on her back, his hand was still on her ribs and it went with her and ended up right under her bra. He didn't seem inclined to move it, and she found she didn't care as he started running his hand horizontally back and forth, soothing her and almost making her fall back asleep.
Her eyes were closed when he said, "Lizzy, I need to know what you've decided about us. I need to remove myself from this situation if you have decided that you're going to go back to Tom."
Her eyes snapped open and she looked at him with wide eyes. It was time to tell him. She was terrified.
"Red..I..I want to give us a chance. My feelings for you are unlike I've ever felt for anyone before and I'm putting my total faith in you when you say that Tom is not to be trusted. I'm going to be furious if you're lying about him."
"Lizzy-" She cut him off, putting her hand over his hand that was lying motionless on her stomach.
"Let me finish please." He went silent, looking at her expectantly. "I want to be with you, Red, but we need to focus on finding April and taking down Jack. That's the most important thing right now. When we get home, we can explore us, and how good we would be together in a different setting."
He was silent.
She turned her head to look at him, "What are you thinking, Red?"
He smiled widely, "Lizzy, are you honestly saying what I thought would only ever be a dream of mine?"
She smiled back faintly, suddenly nervous, "Red, I'm falling in love with you, and that terrifies me. I'm still married, and I don't want to betray Tom completely before I get a chance to talk to him."
He sighed, "So what does that mean Lizzy? Because you've already betrayed him in your heart."
Ouch. He didn't pull any punches when he wanted something badly enough.
She grimaced, "I agree, but I don't want to make love with you until everything with Tom is resolved and he's cut completely out of my life. I want to love you freely and not feel guilty about it."
He turned his body towards her and studied her. After a few moments he said, "If that's what you want, then that's what will happen. I don't want you feeling guilty every time we make love...and that's what it will be for me Lizzy. Love. I do love you, you must know that."
Tears welled up in her eyes, for the 4,000th time in four days. This situation was so messed up, but she didn't want to lose Red and was willing to sacrifice all she had had with Tom for him. At least Red felt the same about her as she did him.
She smiled and put her hand on his cheek, his face smooth, and pulled his head towards hers and kissed him softly and tenderly. He opened his mouth and deepened the kiss, and she groaned. He started to move up over her, and accidentally pushed on her injured ribs.
She gasped in pain and pushed him off of her. "Owww, Red. Ohhhhhh." They were on fire once again and she felt like screaming at the top of her lungs.
He sat up, "Lizzy, I'm so sorry, I completely forgot-"
She held up her hand for him to be quiet and said through clenched teeth, "It's fine, the pain will go away in a minute or two."
He nodded and sat there looking at her sympathetically, obviously hating that he couldn't do anything for her.
The pain finally dissipated somewhat and she sat up next to him on the edge of the bed. "I'm starving, Red. Is it lunchtime yet?"
He huffed a laugh and stood up, looking at his watch, "Right on time." He held his hand out to help her up.
Standing up she moved into him and hugged him to her, gently. "Thank you for being so understanding, Red."
He hugged her back and kissed her temple, "Lizzy, I've told you multiple times that I will take what you give me, and accept it, no matter what."
Holy shit, she loved this man. Flaws and all.
Liz put her arm around his waist, "Let's go eat, then go find that box so we can find April."
He put his arm around her shoulders, gesturing with his other hand, "Sounds like a plan, lead away."
Author's Note: *Puts hands on face *…was that wayyyy too mushy? Too out of character? I thought it wasn't too much..but what do I know? Let me know what you think! BTW..I don't write smut..it's a personal choice..plus I would be horrible at it..sorry to disappoint but I do hope you continue to read despite that. Thanks so much for all the reviews from last chapter..I love getting that much feedback and the general consensus is that you guys want me to keep going..so I will as long as you keep reviewing and telling me your theories and opinions..I love it! Have a fantastic Saturday (or Sunday).