Getting this up in a bit of a rush, tons of stuff needed to get done today and I still have a meeting tonight. Just a few short days until the 101st episode airs, and it looks ah-maze-ing! :D

Oh, and I still own nothing. In fact, the government could probably take this down in a heartbeat if they wanted to. Scary. But okay.

"So what do you think of the new woman who took over for Doctor Insane?" Raj asked.

"The pregnant one?"

Raj nodded, "Aside from Sheldon, there's no other Doctor Insane, and no one's replacing him any time soon. I'm sure we'd have gotten the party invites if someone was."

Howard shrugged. "I can't really be looking at married women."

"Spoken like a true married man," Bernadette said pointedly.

"I really like your apartment, Bernadette," Leonard said, not wanting to have to endure a couple fight when Penny wasn't there; it was always nice to at least be sitting with one's significant other while another couple fought. "We really should hang out here more often."

"Leonard, please," Raj said, "we're discussing the new pregnant lady. Aren't you curious as to what she's like?"

"Well first of all," Leonard said, "I know her, her name's Gilda Bahr. Second of all, she's married and pregnant."

"Six of ten marriages end in divorce," Raj said. "I still have a chance.

"You guys are terrible," Bernadette said, grabbing Howard's arm. "And you really want a woman with baggage like that?"

"Not everyone is opposed to kids," Howard said.

"I thought we'd gotten past this," Bernadette said with a hint of anger. An instant later her face changed and she was scooting closer to her husband and gripping his arm tighter. "But I love you anyway. I'll always love you, you know that?"

She finds out he's going to space, and she becomes a lot less confrontational. "You are so lucky she can't get mad at you right now," Leonard said.

Howard nodded, glancing at Bernadette and mouthing believe me, I know, back at the experimental physicist.

"So…"Raj said, taking another swig of his beer and looking as if he had missed something, "How do you know this new girl?"

"Yeah, what's the story on you and Gilda?" Howard asked, taking a dumpling from the box. "I don't think I know her."

"Mmm," Leonard said, holding up a finger to hold Howard off until he could swallow. "You don't. We parted ways a little bit before I met you guys. Right around the time I met Sheldon."

"Was he the reason?" Howard asked.

"How ever did you guess?" Leonard asked. "Anyway, she's the replacement employee at the university, so she's come in to learn the job from the superior before her maternity leave, and she'll be full time after her leave is over."

"Why didn't you ever tell us about her?" Raj asked.

"Well, she was the only platonic relationship with a woman that I ever had, at least in a long term sense," Leonard said. "She was my one window into the 'normal' world, and…"

"Right, right, a nerdy scientist was your link to all that was chic in the 'normal' word, sure," Howard said sarcastically, nodding. "Go on, go on."

"Well, Sheldon, he's the nerd who isn't ashamed of being a nerd. Once I got used to him, well, his strict rules on having visitors and my new demands at work, plus us living three hours apart, me and Gilda sort of…drifted apart, I guess," Leonard said. "And my inability to make our friendship work…" he trailed off and shrugged. "I really think that it affected my confidence levels in a way that I never really thought about before."

"Oh, I see," Raj said, nodding. "So it's only mostly your mother's fault now."

Leonard thought for a moment, and then nodded in affirmation. "Sounds about right."

"Was she the reason that you were so upset when Priya forbade you to see Penny?"

"Not to bring this up again," Raj said, "but are we absolutely sure 'forbade' is the word? It just doesn't sound right to me."

"Positive," Leonard said. "And I never really thought about that, but maybe. I know when I'm consciously aware that one person is preventing me from being in another person's life it really gets to me."

"We get it," Raj said, "my sister is a terrible girlfriend, can we move on?"

"Raj," Leonard said, "I cared about your sister quite a bit. There were just so many outside factors involved."

"And the biggest outside factor could be carrying your baby!" Bernadette sang out. Raj raised an eyebrow at her. "What?" She asked. "It's true."

"No, no, I'm over it," Raj said. "I mean, in all fairness, I guess I...I kinda have to admit that he treated Priya well. And to be honest, him dating Penny makes my life a lot more peaceful because I don't have to hide anything from my parents."

"What about the thing with Penny?" Howard asked. "Because your father might say you were just sowing your wild oats, but I can't see your mother approving of that."

Raj turned an embarrassing shade of red and stood up. "I have to go."

"Thanks for bringing that up again," Leonard said to Howard.

Howard was staring at the door where Raj had exited, looking quite contemplative. He glanced at Leonard before looking thoughtfully after the astrophysicist. "Yeah…sorry."

Penny had been in this situation before. Nearly a decade before she'd been sitting with her boyfriend, on her bed, holding a pregnancy test and waiting. Waiting for the result. She felt Leonard's arm slide over her shoulders, his eyes glued to the tiny screen. The amount of time that the package said it would take to show a result passed and the screen was still blank. "You did pee on it, right?" Leonard asked.

She gave him a nervous glare. "Yes, Leonard, I did."

"Don't be so nervous," he told her, touching her shaking hand. "It's not life or death."

"You're one to talk; you could be the new poster boy for Quaker Oatmeal," Penny pointed out, gesturing to his own hands.

"Here." He grabbed her free hand with both of his and they linked as many fingers as possible.

When the result finally came, it was identical to the result of years ago, but as it was a different bed in a different state in a different decade and with a different man, this time it was a different result than what she wanted. "Not pregnant," she said in disappointment, dropping her head and giving a heavy sigh, inhaling immediately afterward to fight off the crushing disappointment.

"It's okay," Leonard said, rubbing her shoulder. She felt him inhale as well.

"Yeah." She said sarcastically, leaning against him. "Real okay." She knew she sounded bitter, but she didn't care; that tone would hide her bitter disappointment. There was no baby growing inside her. She and Leonard hadn't created a new life. "This is real okay."

"Hey, it's okay." Leonard said. "No big deal-it's only been a month."

"Uh-huh." She remembered her cheerful "and I might be pregnant!" to Gilda such a short time ago. Well, didn't she feel oh so stupid now.

"Penny," Leonard said, pulling her close and kissed the top of her head. "It's one month, you've been off the pill only a little longer than that, it'll just take a little time. To be honest…" he trailed off. "Honestly I wasn't totally expecting a positive this time."

She cocked her head. "You're supposed to be…positive…" She realized how odd that word sounded with the previous context that it had been used. "Optimistic. I'm the realistic one."

"You're the pessimistic one," he pointed out.

"The pessimist and the optimist," Penny said. "We're quite the pair."

"Hey," Leonard said, "don't make me tickle you into a better mood again."

Penny cocked her head and then smiled, standing up and taking Leonard's hand. "Take Two."

"What?"

Penny pulled him to his feet and walked around to the side of the bed. She sat down and tugged him toward her by his sleeve. "We gotta make a baby."

"Now?"

Penny cocked her head flirtatiously to the side. "Come on, Leonard. Your big ol' five wants you, and she wants you bad."

They shifted their weight until they were in the center of the bed; Penny wrapped her arms around his neck and began kissing him. "How long do you think it took Gilda to get pregnant?"

"I have no idea, Leonard said, pushing her shirt up to her rib cage.

"Well," Penny said, "Do you think it was fairly quick? You knew her pretty well, and sex or no sex, did she strike you as…" Penny trailed off when Leonard kissed her on the mouth, largely to keep her quiet. "the type to be…particularly fertile?" she finished as soon as she could.

"Penny, honey?" Leonard asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Uh – huh?"

"Now you're the one killing the mood. We cannot make a baby while Gilda is…" he waved a hand, "anywhere in the picture. Do you understand where I'm coming from?"

Penny giggled. "Sorry."

As usual, thanks for reading, thanks in advance for reviewing, and the next chapter will be up in two days, as usual. :)