A/N: Thanks for the patience. Please enjoy, and review to let me know your thoughts!

CHAPTER 14: 3 HOURS

She falls. Again, and again, and again. The vault dismount she had managed to perfect just before lunch is a mess now; her timing is off, she can't seem to tuck in her arms close enough to her chest, and her hand placement on the vault pad is never where it should be.

After a particularly bad fall almost injures her knee, Kaylie limps to the physical therapy room, intending to ice it before it swells and keeps her from training later in the day. It's only 2pm—she has a lot of training left to do. The Rock's physical therapy doctor isn't in, so Kaylie takes the liberty of fishing out an ice pack from the office's freezer, and making herself comfortable on a nearby gurney. Gingerly, she places the ice pack on her knee; the blast of cold in her skin makes her inhale quickly, but after a suffering wince she's able to move past the discomfort, concentrating instead of picking apart each of her movements in that vault skill in order to figure out what she's messing up so consistently.

The office is silent; distantly, she can hear the occasional slapping sound coming from the floor mats as someone lands a tumble. If she really closes her eyes, squeezing them shut, she can almost hear her own heartbeats.

"That's why I've come to the conclusion that the operation can be now terminated, as it has served its purpose..."

But after a second or two, all she hears is Austin's name, pounding in her chest. AustinAustin, AustinAustin, AustinAustin...

Inwardly, she groans. This is so, so wrong.

Does she... like Austin? Is she falling for that idiot she's been pretending to date? When did the line between reality and acting become so blurry—or downright nonexistent, as it seems to be case now? When did this start mattering so much that once she understood what MJ was announcing so casually to them—that they'll be over in a day—she couldn't flee their presence fast enough?

She just needs space. If she can just step away from him for a minute, and gather her thoughts, and gradually wash herself free of the feel of his hands in hers, and the taste of his lips, and the smell and warmth of his skin—if she can just step away for a minute and breathe, then things might have a chance of going back to normal.

That's all she needs.

"Hey; how are you?" She doesn't open her eyes right away, because her breath's already stuck in her throat at the sound of his voice—she doesn't need to look paralyzed too. "I didn't know you got hurt."

Finally, she sees him and it takes a lot out of her to sound normal; to keep the waver from her voice. "I'm not hurt. I just got a little scratch."

With his characteristic nonchalance, he bends down so that he's eye-level with her knee, and all Kaylie can do is hold her breath at his proximity. When he reaches out and touches a patch of her knee close to the scratch, she winces at the contact. Whatever kind of poison Austin is, it's rushing through her veins now and making her light-headed.

At the thought of them breaking up their fake relationship, she feels relief... and a horribly uneasy sensation crawling in her chest and abdomen. She focuses on the relief, on being free from lying, and not on the nauseating notion of being free from him.

"Yeah, it doesn't look that bad, just a little swollen," he tells her, straightening up and giving her a small smile while he speaks, "but I'm still going to put a band-aid on it."

Bandages. That was the beginning of the end.

"That's okay—you don't have to," she rushes to explain, but he dismisses her words with a simple motion, then fishes a bandage from one of the nearby cabinets. A half-minute later, he's knelt down in front of her and is gently applying an alcohol swap to her scratch, and Kaylie doesn't know what burns her more, Austin's skin against hers, or the alcohol.

"How did you fall?"

This is wrong. She can't even breathe, or think. Good thing he's looking at her knee, and not into her eyes, because she might just say something she'll regret later. Like, please stop touching me—my head is messed up because of you.

"Just a slip on the vault."

He unwraps the bandage and with a ghostly touch, smooths it over her skin.

Please, Austin... stop...

"Is it hurting?" And he does look at her, then. And her pulse quietens and her breathing suddenly becomes normal—she can exhale now—and she can think again. Because Austin is the cause of all this pain, and yet he's the only thing that can make her feel better.

"Yes. It hurts."

Sasha calls Austin to his office to discuss his rings routine, and after an exchange of smiles, Austin's left her in the office and once again, Kaylie is alone with her chaotic thoughts. She can't figure out everything she's feeling and thinking, with her heart and mind in disagreement, and her body feeling the effects of their battle.

It's in a particularly strong pang of confusion that she marches to the gym's exit, finds MJ's trailer in the parking lot, and approaches it with the sort of fearlessness that rises from panic.

She only needs to knock once. "Why are you breaking us up now, instead of in two months, like you told us before?"

MJ doesn't seem very surprised to see her, and Kaylie swallows hard once she registers that she's standing at the trailer's steps, being looked down upon by a stern agent that is probably annoyed with the disturbance.

"Because Austin is losing money."

That... is not what she expected to hear. Kaylie had a brief second to consider what the agent's probable responses would be, and this was definitely not among them.

"What do you mean?"

"The operation did wonders for you, and while it helped Austin's image, it did not help his finances." Maybe it's the accent, or the order of the words, or her own fragmented state of mind, but Kaylie can't quite put everything together and comprehend what she's being told. "Do you know who Austin's largest sponsor is?"

The answer to this was on Austin's list of 50 facts. "Kobalt Sunglasses."

"Exactly. And do you know what kind of spokesman is Kobalt's preference?" Kaylie shakes her head slightly, more out of reflex than for not actually knowing this—of course Kobalt wants cool, hip young men, like Austin. "They've carved Austin's persona into their brand. Men want to buy Kobalt because they want to be Austin; they want the playboy lifestyle, and the parties, and the women. Austin's recent change has made him lose stock before Kobalt's higher-ups." And then, for the first time since this conversation began, MJ displays some reluctance, a hesitation with her words. "This new... Austin... the Austin who's your boyfriend... is not the Austin they want as the face of their company. And because the majority of his income is derived from Kobalt advertising, our only option is to terminate the operation and mend his reputation back into the one that conforms to his employer's standards. The Austin delineated in the contract he signed."

It makes sense. It just... makes sense. There's no flaw in this reasoning. She can't argue against her decision, can't present an alternate solution, can't even pretend to know that this isn't the right course of action. They need to break up. Austin needs to go back to the lifestyle, the parties, and the girls.

And she, Kaylie, will just... she'll just have to...

The question comes out as a hoarse whisper. "Why did you even do this, then?" Many more questions jump into Kaylie's mind, like 'why did you put me in this when you were just going to take it away?' but she doesn't voice any of them.

MJ responds in her usual businesslike, stark manner. "Because it was necessary. There was a miscalculation with the time we would necessitate in repairing Austin's image, but the operation was necessary. And it was a success, as I have mentioned before. It was so effective that it took less time than originally projected. You two did a commendable job."

Kaylie turns to look at the gym's entrance, to her true home, where she spends day after day trying to achieve a dream upon which she's put all her hopes and her strength; a dream that right now seems impossibly far, because nothing good in her life ever stays, not the boys, not her dad, not her friends, and this title—the reigning National Champion—won't stay either.

Unless she beats Genji Cho at Worlds.

This newly-hardened goal solidifies in her mind, and she pushes away all thought of Austin to the background of her thoughts. Genji Cho—just beat Genji Cho.

Great. She can't eat for the rest of the day.

Austin learns in a phone call from his accountant that Kobalt contemplated dropping him after noticing all the attention he was getting for being Kaylie Cruz's boyfriend. The accountant, who's been planning things with MJ this whole time, explains that this is the reason he advised her to break things off between him and Kaylie—to save his endorsement.

"You wanna keep your house, Tuck?" His middle-aged accountant, Tom, is the only person in the world who calls him Tuck. "You wanna keep the fancy cars and the motorcycles? We gotta keep Kobalt in your pocket."

"You know..." The beginning of his confession slips out before he can help himself, and then it's too late to stop before he's blurting out, "I like her."

"Kaylie Cruz? I don't blame you. She's grade A, boy."

Austin shakes his head with disapproval (Tom is 50!), but brushes his annoyance aside, and asks with some ill-contained anxiety, "do you think I can like, try to be with her and not have Kobalt find out about it?"

"They will find out about it. You know they will. And then we'll have a nice little breach of contract to deal with, so it's not worth the trouble, Tuck."

"So I can't date anyone? I can't be with anyone I like?" Suddenly, Austin has to swallow down the feeling that he's being slowly strangled. "I can't be with her or anyone else, ever?"

"Tuck, your contract with Kobalt ends after the Olympics, and it'll only be renewed if you medal again. If you don't medal, then of course you can let some girl tie you up with the ball and chain, and you can have your life. You can even enjoy your last day with the Cruz girl until MJ announces the split. But you can't forget that for now, Kobalt is your money line and they ain't gonna pay us if you're not doing your part. Be cool, boy. What happened to the old Austin, huh? What happened to the party boy? Where's the guy who got a dozen models to go up to his room in Vegas on his birthday?"

He used to be so stupid... he's sure that Tom is listing all these feats as though they're admirable, but they just made him look like an idiot. And now he can't have Kaylie.

He closes his eyes and sighs, slowly lowering the phone from his ear to his side. The buzz of Tom's voice coming from the phone is easily ignored, until it stops completely and Austin figures that the accountant has hung up.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

He can't have Kaylie.

SHIT.

(There's gotta be a way—there's got to be.)

Kaylie is glad today is a holiday and they're being let out after lunch. Kelly Parker may be nicer than she expected, but she's still not the nicest person to be partnered with. Parker had managed to convince Sasha that she'd be a better fit for the duo-training today than Tessa Montgomery, which was fine, until Kaylie was reminded of just the kind of person she'd be stuck with for the day.

They were powdering their hands after their warm-ups, when Emily, who had been absent the last two days due to family troubles, approached the bowl and nodded a quick greeting to them both.

Kaylie should have seen the insult coming when Kelly smirked discreetly in her usual mischievous manner. "Haven't seen you in a while, Kmetko... did you get that much-needed nose job?"

Immediately, Kaylie turned to her her with an aghast glare.

"Bite me, Parker," Emily said frostily, speeding up her powdering and throwing Kelly a glare.

"Not without a tetanus shot," she shot back with a grin, and instead of carrying on the insult exchange, Emily rolled her eyes and stepped away to join her partner, Lauren.

Come to think of it, even Lauren seemed a better partner then.

"You are a horrible, evil person," Kaylie stated simply, but that did nothing to Kelly but apparently provide some amusement.

"Someone needs to call the Boulder Times and let them know that Kelly Parker and Kaylie Cruz agree on something," Kelly joked with a good-natured smile that would have been more convincing if Kelly hadn't just affronted one of the nicest girls in the gym. "Come on, loser. Let's see that layout."

Now, as they're alternating at the vault, Kaylie times Kelly's approaching run and ponders on how she's managed to survive five whole hours training side-by-side with the She-Devil without pulling out a gun on herself.

"You were 2.8 seconds faster."

"Crap. That's still terrible." Kelly gathers her breath for a minute while Kaylie watches her passively, thoughts drifting over to Austin and what he might be doing. Then she almost wishes training was over already, so she would have more time to spend with him today before their mandated break-up—but that's when she shakes her head slightly, to clear her thoughts. She's not supposed to want to see him; if anything, she should want the day to be over already, so their pretending can end and she can be her own person again.

Truth be told, she's been avoiding Austin like the plague the whole day. She hopes fervently that no one's noticed, and is just about to mentally celebrate the small victory that she hasn't been approached about Austin yet, when she hears Kelly clear her throat loudly, snapping her thoughts away from her daydreaming.

"You okay there, Cruz? Do we need to take a breather so you can continue to stare at Austin?"

Stare at Austin?

Shit. She realizes that while she had been looking "into the distance" and reflecting on the events of the day, she had actually been watching Austin as he talked to Sasha in front of the latter's office.

"Oh. No, of course not. I wasn't staring, anyway," she hurries to explain, fidgeting with the chronometer. "I was looking at... the office. Sasha's office. Not at Austin."

"Right. Something interesting in Sasha's office?" Kaylie can't tell whether Kelly is making fun of her, but then, she almost always is so it wouldn't be a surprise if that was the case here.

"Yes. His, um... new furniture...?"

God. She sounds positively idiotic.

Whatever impression Kelly has gathered from her mutterings, she doesn't insult her, doesn't laugh at her, doesn't even roll her eyes or smirk, which are her lazy ways of making sure people know she's still in control of the situation. She just watches her for a few seconds, unnerving Kaylie until she comments idly, "he really likes you, you know."

"What?"

"Austin. He does. He won't tell you that, and he'll try not to show it. He's denied it. But it's not like it's gonna go away, right? I mean, look at you." Kelly actually yawns, throwing a languid look at the large clock hanging on the wall behind her. She continues with an indifferent shrug, "I just thought you needed to know; it's important for you to know. So you're more careful with him."

"I don't know what you mean," Kaylie mumbles, utterly horrified at the direction that this conversation is going.

Kelly seems to muster a tad more interest in what she's saying than she had before, but it's still not much. Contrasted with the weight of her words, her tone and demeanor are almost too nonchalant when she explains, "I guess what I mean is that you think he's got some sort of armor against disappointment when it comes to love and just feelings in general, but he doesn't. You think he's got some immunity against you but he doesn't. You can hurt him. So, you know... be a little careful."

As though on cue, Sasha wishes them a relaxing, happy day with their families, and dismisses the gym in a cordial atmosphere that Kaylie can't get herself to fit into.

Kaylie drives homes immediately, still not quite able to stop avoiding Austin. After a quick shower, she puts on the first dress she's able to pick out from her closet, and dispiritedly applies some minimal make-up. After a deep breath to gather her wits before heading over to the Tucker home for their barbecue, Kaylie catches sight of her mother in the living room, on the phone with someone she deduces is her dad. She doesn't look too pleased, so Kaylie decides it's wiser not to linger around.

When she steps out of her house, she halts at the doorway as she spots Austin sitting down on her lawn, arms resting on top of the knees he's drawn up against his chest. She's reluctant to approach him when he seems immersed in thought, gazing across the street as though trying to see through the mountains that surround Boulder.

"I thought we were gonna run today," he speaks suddenly, startling her enough that she widens her eyes and catches her breath.

"How did you know I was here?"

Austin gives her a tiny smile, eyes asking her to smile back. "It's gonna sound creepy, but I think nowadays I can kind of sense when you're near me."

"That is pretty creepy." She smiles then, not having to force it, and, seemingly satisfied, Austin turns his attention back to the street. Then Kaylie remembers his earlier comment. "I woke up late... and forgot that we were still running. Did you wait for me?"

He shrugs. "For a little bit. I was going to ask you about it when we were training today, but I figured I could just ask you later." Without turning around, he invites her to sit down with him. Her instinct is telling her to get away from him somehow, because his gravitational pull is slowly eroding her resistance, dragging her closer and closer... and she knows she won't want to go anywhere once she's with him.

"You don't want to sit on the grass?" Austin is puzzled, of course, because she's leaving him waiting for her.

"Austin... I'm not sure..." Kaylie can't string the words together so they have meaning—there are too many of them overwhelming her, and it seems so futile to fight this. She'll give in pretty soon; she'll accept that she has feelings for him, but it's never going to work out because she doesn't want him to trade his livelihood for her. "You know... us... we're... I'm..." She realizes she raised a hand to her temple. There are so many things she wants to ask him, and tell him. He stands up to face her and it only increases her anxiety. "Are you okay with this? With us breaking up?"

"No." He doesn't blink, doesn't bat an eye, doesn't take a deep breath to gather his thoughts or make his following words sound more thoughtful. "I don't feel good about it at all."

Oh my God... are they going to talk about this? (Does he like her? Does she like him?)

"Um..." Her chest is struck by a dull ache. This, whatever this is, isn't going anywhere. "Well... MJ isn't budging... and it looks like we already did everything we needed to do..."

Then Austin appears to have taken a step closer to her, because he's right in front of her, and she has to raise her chin to look him in the eye, even if all she wants to do is back away, and look anywhere else.

"We could do this, you know."

The suggestion knocks the breath from her lungs. It's such a ridiculous hope that even her teenage naivete, and that crushingly large part of her that really wants this to be true, can't go along with it.

"No, we couldn't; not without getting caught."

"I mean it; I think we can. I'll show you," Austin explains, a hint of excitement seeping into his voice, that he's obviously trying hard to hide. "If you're up for it, we can try it."

"Austin..." She doesn't even know where to begin. "Don't make this up to me to decide."

"What are you talking about?" She hates how obvious he is to her now. She hates that she's gotten to know him so well that he can't even hide his disappointment well enough for her not to notice it. "I'm telling you, if you give us a chance—"

"I can't believe you can't see all the ways this could go wrong." I mean, jeez, she wants to yell out, think about the paychecks you will stop receiving if you decide to pick me—but she can't say any of that because acknowledging that money is more important than her would hurt too much. "And you know... knowing what the stakes are..." she murmurs, trying to talk around the subject instead of broaching it head-on, "you can't... you don't like me like that, Austin—it's not worth it."

Because Austin seems to be speechless at the end of her statement, Kaylie swallows hard, consumed by a wave of insecurity and self-doubt. Austin isn't reacting to this the way she expected him to. Maybe she doesn't know him as well as she thought she did. Before she can let her double-guessing soak into her thoughts any longer, he finally does speak, and with a quiet, incredulous question. "You think I don't like you like that?"

"Well... um..." Kaylie wonders whether it'd be smarter to stop rambling and think up some more articulate responses before opening her mouth.

But now Austin's temper is flaring right in front of her and she can almost feel the heat from his anger.

"You think you're like, charming and perfect and smart, and you think you know what's best for me?"

Kaylie frowns, her back stiffens, and she realizes she's irritated, too—way more than she should be. "I'm sorry if I'm concerned for your future. Unlike you, I'm not known for my recklessness and irresponsibility."

"Oh, wow," he laughs, but it's devoid of any of that warmth she's always associated with the sound. "I wonder how I was able to put up with such a cold, judgmental prude all this time. Two weeks should have felt like twenty years! Thank God we only have a day left in this thing!"

Oh God. Immediately, she flinches—these words that he's so careless with, hit her in the chest and dig their claws in. It's been a while since he's deliberately offended her. She swallows hard, distantly registering a burning in her cheeks, but she's busy preparing herself for an offensive.

"Fine, then. If it has been so unbearable for you, if you hate me so much—if you don't want to, then don't date me! Don't be around me! You didn't have to do this if you don't like me!"

Then, she's slightly scared. Austin's eyes seem inflamed, and his posture now betrays much more than just anger. "Don't like you? Why the fuck do you keep saying that?" With a small step forward, she can see so much of the frustration and bewilderment in his eyes that it's very hard for her to stand her ground. "You think I don't like you? I like you so much I can't fucking stand you."

Kaylie stands completely still. Perhaps even breathing becomes unnecessary, and maybe she's finally convinced her heart to stop beating so it doesn't hurt so much.

He lowers his voice, and it does nothing but highlight the heart-wrenching aggressiveness of his tone. "And I should stop being a fucking lovesick puppy, going after you when you're the one who doesn't like me enough to give me one single damn chance—"

"Austin!" His father calls him from across the yard, obviously unaware of their heated exchange. "Come help me with the grill, son!"

"Austin," she breathes out, entirely unsure of what she can say at the moment, but luckily she doesn't have to figure that out, because Austin is already stomping away without a glance behind.

The barbecue is excruciating, of course. Now Austin knows why people were always saying girls aren't worth getting attached to—it's because they're stupid and stubborn and they'll make everything hurt suddenly.

Because his family is still very much convinced that they're a happy couple, they do put on their usual act. For the first time he can remember, Austin loathes touching Kaylie, and hates it even more when she touches him. He swears he can smell her on him after every one of her hugs, and it drives him mad.

Kaylie's mother joins them and it's a relief to Austin that at least now his parents can focus on something else besides how beautiful Kaylie is, how great it is that they're both heading to the Olympics and Kaylie has managed to make him settle down for a bit. There are small moments, quiet and almost imperceptible, in which Austin catches Kaylie's breathless remorse and worry, and her clear anxiety that they're being bombarded with compliments on their relationship, when in fact they'll be over in less than 24 hours.

It doesn't help that he sort of yelled at her, when all he wanted was to tell her that he really likes her and wants to be with her, if they can just keep things under wraps for a bit. Her reaction was completely unwarranted, like he's stupid and doesn't know what he's doing or what he's feeling, like his idea was laughable. Even now, awkwardly holding his arm around her as they are sitting on the wooden chairs that overlook the backyard from the deck, he can't help stiffening at the depressing thought that Kaylie Cruz just doesn't like him enough to give him a chance.

He should have been a better fake boyfriend. Then she would want him for a real boyfriend, and none of this would be happening.

He frowns. How did this happen? How did Kaylie become more important than his money, his status, and all the perks he's ever received for being a playboy?

Kaylie stands up suddenly, and he watches her silhouette join his father at the grill, offering a smile that offers none of her usual gleam, not even as she's illuminated by the last of the sun's rays peaking from behind the mountains.

This isn't going away, is it?

"I need to talk to you."

Kaylie sighs in the shadows, too tired to be displeased that Austin is standing at her lawn, and has managed to find her sitting on her porch steps in the middle of the night, obviously unable to sleep. She hugs her large, comfortable coat around her and forgets about the chilly breezes that have been sweeping her every few minutes, telling her to go back inside.

She appreciates that it's dark, that he can barely make out her form and vice versa, and that at least the barbecue went well enough that their parents will be genuinely shocked in a few hours, when the press and the rest of the world find out that they've broken up. The thought makes her stomach churn, so she turns her attention back to the boy in front of her.

"It's three in the morning, Austin. Go home."

He shakes his head quickly and speaks as though he hasn't heard a word she said. "I'm sorry about how I acted before. You don't like me enough to give me a chance, and I understand." That sends her a good jolt of energy through her.

"Austin," she growls with annoyance, containing an urge to punch him. "I like you too much. I like you so much that sometimes I go all the way back around to hating you. So you can stop that."

Austin blinks a few times, staring at her blankly, and Kaylie is surprised to notice that she was able to admit her feelings without reluctance or embarrassment. This only happens with him, and only when he infuriates her.

"Why didn't you tell me that before?"

"I don't want to argue with you," she replies dismissively. "It doesn't matter, anyway. The fact remains; you're under contract and you can't be with me unless you're also simultaneously with lots more girls, which I will never, ever allow because I don't want to go into a murderous rage."

"You'd be jealous of me?" Now Kaylie wishes he'd be angry with her again, instead of amused.

Impatiently, she forces herself to look at him in the semi-darkness, making out the slightest hint of a smile playing on his face. "Why are you here, again?"

"Did it ever feel real to you?"

Jesus. How can he just ask something like this, so abruptly, like he's not afraid? "Yes. It did. Can we stop talking about this?"

"Why? I like hearing that you like me."

"It was difficult, you being you," Kaylie decides to joke sarcastically, pained as she is to still be discussing something so close to her heart. "But it happened. I guess you're just that charming."

She watches him swallow hard, shoving his hands into his pockets and meeting her eyes carefully. "I figured out that I've always liked you, and now I don't know how to stop." Kaylie feels a terrifying flutter in her chest. "You, being the more experienced of us two when it comes to relationships, tell me how to get rid of this."

Is he serious? He looks serious.

"Um... well, you can give it some time. If we don't see each other for a while, I'm sure you'll forget about me."

"Well, but I have to see you everyday. We train together. I can't always be at the annex." He's surprisingly rational, carefully delineating his point.

"You could... find another girl. Or girls." That suggestion hurts to say; every word seems to give her a kick on the heart. "That'd probably work the fastest."

It takes a smirk from him for her to frown and start to process what he's saying. "But you've changed me so much, you know. I'm actually boyfriend material now, since you went ahead and personalized me to your taste; the girls that used to like me won't even look my way now."

Oh. He's joking. He has been joking this whole time. How did she not notice?

She releases a shallow laugh, still so, so unsure of where they're going with this. She's just kind of tired of running away and finding excuses to run away. Can't she just stay? Can't she just keep him?

"You're not saying anything," Austin points out, making her aware that he's closer to her now.

"I don't know what to tell you." A flurry of panic shuts her brain down, and before she can really register what she's saying, she's already hearing her own foreign-sounding voice: "I want you to choose me, but I don't want you to lose anything because of me."

Austin sits down beside her at the porch steps, then sends her a warm, nervous smile. "You know, we have 3 hours before MJ calls the press on us."

"Yeah. We do."

A thick silence settles between them, and Kaylie almost feels the mist pressing against her from all sides, trying to choke her into crying. And all it takes is Austin to sneak over a hand to envelop hers, for that horrible claustrophobic feeling to be gone.

He doesn't know what makes him suggest it. He's holding her hand, for some reason; he's smoothing his thumb over her skin, depleted of any new words or ideas for their situation. But there's some pulsing craziness and recklessness inside him, threatening to spill and either ruin things completely, or make everything better—at least for now.

"We could be real for those 3 hours."

It's so quiet between them that he can hear her breath hitch.

"That's... not a really good idea."

"I wanna know what it'd have been like."

Kaylie sighs, looking down at her feet and chuckling softly. "It's going to be torture."

"I wanna know," he insists, only because he's been wanting this forever, and he's not going to just let her go without knowing what this—this sense of urgency in his heart and his lungs that she brings on—can feel like.

"If you really like me, trust me, you don't wanna know."

Impulsively, he reaches over and wraps his arms around her, completely disregarding the awkward positioning with their legs and the height difference, and the thick coat she's wearing, and the fact that she's been caught off guard.

"Please don't do that," he hears the tiny vibration of her pained words against his neck.

"Why?"

"Because it feels real."

He releases her, intending to leave and bury everything Kaylie has ever given him and left on him, but one look into her cheerless eyes and he might as well have been chained to the spot.

In a rush of bitterness, he mumbles into the darkness, "you really ruined me," and hears Kaylie sigh slowly.

"I'm not exactly intact after you either, you know."

They're silent again, and he examines his hands distractedly, imagining how many times he's touched her. And how he never will again. Idly, he comments, "I've liked you for so long, you know. I mean, really, it's been a fucking long time."

"Austin," he hears her call faintly, and upon turning to look at her, Austin realizes that she's actually smiling. It's not one of those bright, happy smiles that always made him go brain-dead around her, but it's a smile nonetheless and she hasn't given him one of those in what feels like forever. "If you really want, we can try that out. The thing you suggested."

Instantly, he brightens. "You mean, you'll show me what it'd have been like?"

"Yeah. If it was real," she agrees, smiling a bit more and making him a bit more breathless. She stands up and motions for him to follow suit. When he complies, she watches him for a quick second, heightening his expectations, then steps forward and slowly places her hands around his neck, pulling him down into a hug. The feeling of being pressed against her body sends waves of warmth splashing throughout his body, and he can't help a wide grin that he's glad she can't see. The motion is the same—that's what amazes him. The fact that he's been hugged before, and by her, but this feels different because now he knows that she likes him, and she's wrapped her arms around him as an expression of her feelings for him. The sensation is mind-blowingly perfect.

He notices her body, then her scent, then the texture of her hair, and then he has to agree that Kaylie was right, just as she always is: this is going to be torture.

"You're driving me crazy," he murmurs, causing Kaylie to step back. Immediately, he mourns the lack of contact, but now he can look at her, and she's goddamn beautiful.

"What did you say?"

"I mean... we haven't really been close in a while," he tries to explain lamely, "and now with you touching me, and hugging me, and now that it's real... it's making me go kind of crazy."

For the first time since they've been given the news of their break-up, Kaylie laughs. It's a low, breathy laugh, colored by disbelief and amusement. Then she says quietly, "wait until I kiss you, then."

And that's when he thinks the torture is worth it; that everything in the world is worth it, because she's Kaylie Cruz and he might very possibly really, really love her.

Kaylie Cruz is kissing him, because she likes him. She tastes like something perfect and terribly addicting, and she touches his cheek gently like she'll hurt him—she can hurt him—and like he's something worth caring for, when he's really not.

He's struck by the thought that this isn't going to last only 3 hours. This isn't going to be over today. He'll make sure of it, because there's no fucking way anyone is taking Kaylie from him.

Kaylie breaks the kiss off, light-headed at the sensation that she's done something so inconceivably dangerous to her well-being.

She's been worried about him, about what would happen if he chose her and in the process, lost his biggest contract and source of income. And in the stress of worrying about that, she forgot her own reservation, her own reasons for stepping back. She can see now why Austin was always so dangerous; why she should have been afraid of being close to him. She's been blinded by feelings for this boy, and for her concern over his happiness, and it's only now, in this instant, when she's irreversibly tangled in the webs of her heart, that she can see it.

In that instant—when she breaks the kiss and feels the force of his feelings for her overwhelm her own feelings for him—a moment that stretches and stretches and pulls her apart with it, in that moment she's consumed by the strangest fear she's known in her life. For all her years she's had to live alone, and be content to fend for herself, and all her life she's trekked through her path without relying on anyone, without having a safe place to land, someone she could turn to if the world got to be too much. But in that moment, that foreign brand of fear takes over, burns her until she's inwardly hissing; she knows now what it's like to lean on someone, and now she's started something that isn't going to go away. She knows what it's like now to look beside her and see someone there, someone who's witnessing what she's doing, someone who can tell the world about her if everyone forgets. This feeling, however temporary it turns out to be, is going to stay with her, like an ugly scar, and she knows it won't disappear no matter how many times she tries to wash it off or bury it or forget it—it's going to stay in her system, and every time she's alone, instead of walking on ahead without caring, she'll care, and she'll remember that there was once, briefly, a hand she could hold, that tethered her to the rest of the world so she wouldn't be that dead limb that was always about to be cut off.

Now that she knows all of this; now that she know what it can be like, what is she going to do when this is over?

"I'm never letting you go, you know. It's not going to be just 3 hours. I'm never letting you go."

A/N: I considered ending this chapter on a happy note and concluding the entire fic. But I figured that there's a lot of ground still to cover with these two, and I've already sort of blueprinted the rest of the fic, so I might as well go all the way. Speaking of going all the way, there will be about two M-rated chapters soon. I don't know if it'd be better to include them as part of this fic (labeling the chapters as M), or publishing them as separate stories, tied to this one, and then rate those stories M. Let me know what you think is best. And please review! :)