I couldn't believe it.
After all I had done...betrayed everyone.... I could leave it all behind me? But, how could I choose? I had betrayed Konoha, and just because they let me didn't mean I could instantly drop my past and embrace my old life again.
"Tsunade, you know I can't make this decision right away. I just can't.." I whispered, an honest pleading in my voice. Tsunade was much like an older sister to me, it felt as if I were talking to her only yesterday. She laced her fingers in front of her face, concentration over how to handle the unique situation.
"How long do you have?" she asked, still concentrating on the desk in front of her. Ah. She knew they were here waiting for me. Clever as always.
"Three days." I still felt a tie of loyalty...not to Konoha exactly, but to her. I owed her as much. "Well then, lets say three days." she finalized, sitting back in her chair officially. I nodded slowly, staring rather ashamedly into the ground. Tsunade continued, "I don't mind you exploring the village freely. In fact, I would like it if you did." her gaze on me was tense, but not over bearing by any means "-You could use the influence. I just don't want you making contact with Itachi and his partner." she added.
I was slightly alarmed. I didn't want them to engage in combat on either side. In my mind, they were still two worlds that I willed not to collide. Each time they did it seemed to tear me in half relentlessly. "Tsunade....you're not going to...?"
She shook her head where my words trailed off, finishing my thought. "If you don't try to run off and peruse them, I won't send people out...even though I would like to. I will keep it fair for you and them." I gave a small sigh of relief at her gracious deal, and nodded quickly.
Tsunade reemphasized her point, "This is serious Sakura. I don't want them effecting your decision! ...I'm not going to gauge or spy on you. I know in the end you will choose to take the right path. So until these next three days have passed, do what you need to to figure this mess out. Now if you would please, I've got paper work to file no thanks to Shizune, and I know for certain a blonde haired loud mouth will be harassing me if you aren't released soon. "
I nodded slowly, standing up with a half bow and turned around to leave. "Oh by the way Sakura, meeting at five. As my secretary and apprentice, I can't afford you to be late. Five o' clock." And I couldn't help but feel a smile tug at my lips. Just like they used to be. Nothing has changed at all. And maybe that wasn't a bad thing.
I found myself wandering back in the streets of Konoha...freely. And the best part? Everyone was happy I was back. No one frowned or pointed at me darkly. I was constantly shocked at how...normal it felt. Like I never had left at all.
Like I never had met Itachi at all.
Maybe I really could move on from it all? Konoha was my home...
"Sakura! Sakura hey!" Naruto's voice called out, each second his voice becoming louder and louder. Quickly, four of my past comrades were all running for me, and I could only stand dumbfound in the middle of the path. Shikamaru, Kiba, Naurto and Ino. I was somewhat spaced out from seeing so many of my past companions running towards me after all of this time. It was so nostalgic needless to say. "Sakura-chan!" Naruto repeated my name with a wave, smile wide with excitement.
I was over come with a sudden feeling of...calm. Like a giant storm had passed in my life. I was...safe.
I was home.
And instantly...I was sobbing. For years, ever sense the day I left, I was afraid of Konoha. Afraid they would hate me for simply being alive. I didn't want to face the consequences for my actions, sad, but I was afraid of facing my friends. I never wanted to hurt them. I just wanted a way for me to live in both worlds, but one world was one person, the other was a whole village. The ratio seemed laughable at this point. And it was sad, because the promise to return to Itachi still spun darkly in the back of my head.
But now that I was back....it was all lifted away like an ominous cloud pierced by the sun.
Naruto was just as quickly holding me, a weak smile on his face, feeling the pain with me, "Sakura-chan...it's alright. You are safe now and he can't hurt you any more." he whispered, and even though he really had no clue what he was saying, it took to heart. Konoha could protect me. Konoha could free me from Itachi.
"Naruto!! Get your of the way, you'll just make it all worse!!" The unmistakable, just as demanding voice of Ino hissed violently, and Naruto fell to the ground with a thud. In his place...a much changed Ino. A much changed....pregnant...Ino.
"Sakura, are you ok?" she held the side of face, staring into my eyes seriously as if she would be able to read me better. Compared to Itachi this was a joke. I continued to have a shocked, disbelieving face while Ino continued ranting, "You've been gone for two years now with that man! I was concerned he wouldn't ever let you go!" she seemed to act as if she were in more pain than I was, rather dramatic as always, then she paused with a gasp. "He didn't do anything to you did he?" she asked suspiciously. Her eyes narrowed as she waited impatiently for my answer.
Suddenly all of their eyes were glued on me, an obvious curiosity they all shared. My face was rather shocked still, even more so at the bluntness of her question. "Um...no.." I slurred, no difficulty answering. Itachi was a complete gentlemen, he would never harm or do anything improper. Especially to me. Ino, unsatisfied, liberated for further detail, "He didn't rape you?" The gazes got more tense, and if I had stayed with anyone other than Itachi, I would be blushing furiously, "No! Of course not Ino.."
"Didn't force you heal him constantly?"
"...No."
"Didn't abuse you?"
"No."
"Didn't make you tell everything you knew about Konoha?"
"Not really.."
"He didn't force you to do his will and dirty work for him?"
"Nope."
"Didn't use the sharingan on you until you broke?"
"....No, Ino..." Man, they were creative. Though I guess two full years of believing your friend was kidnapped and unable to return to the village would get your mind spinning.
"Did he make you sing to him at night?!" Naruto jumped in, rather loudly. Apparently, some minds were spinning more wildly than others. The group paused at the ridiculous...and strangely awkward question...not even bothering to wait for my answer. Though for reputation of Itachi, I gave it anyways.
"No."
There was a rather long silence, until Kiba spoke up "Naruto, why in the world would he want that?" Naruto, now defensive, stuttered slightly, "You...You never know that Itachi! Poor Sakura probably doesn't even remember half of the horrid experiences he put her through!"
I rolled my eyes, biting my tongue. I wanted to stand up for Itachi, but in this current position, it wouldn't do any good whatsoever. Ino relaxed her grip on my face, and rested her hands on my shoulders. "But you are ok, right?"
"Yes, of course." I answered, surprisingly sincere, switching the conversation to the biggest question on my mind.
"But Ino...you're...you're-" I added, hoping she would finish the conversation. She smiled, "Drop dead gorgeous? You know, that's why I was afraid he would rape you Sakura, you are so pretty sudden-"
"Pregnant." I cut in, seeing this would go no where.
"And am I really that pretty?" So what if I was a girl that liked hearing she was not a complete troll. Deal with it.
Ignoring my last question, Ino looked down at herself, as if forgetting that, oh I dunno, she had an entire baby growing in her enlarged stomach. "Hm? Oh! Yeah...yeah I am." She waved her hand, as if waving off the issue, "but it's a simple matter really."
"Having a baby is a simple matter," I scoffed, placing my hand on top of hers "Ino, you are having a baby!" As I was speaking, a flash from her hand caught my attention.
"AND YOU'RE MARRIED?!" I shirked, grabbing her hands for better inspection.
Ino smiled proudly, waving her ring finger "Yup! Time to settle and stick to one guy" she walked away, and laced her and through Shikarmaru's, showing me her matrimonial match. Though the whole marriage itself surprised me, the couple itself didn't. The second they were on the same team years back, it was almost obvious the two were meant to be, and also when I left the village the two were dating. And suddenly, I was somewhat...frustrated. Villagers that barely knew who she was, would know that she was married and with child. I was her best friend, and I didn't know.
Shikamaru sighed, tearing his hands away from his wife, "Don't get too excited or you'll give the baby a heart attack." he gave another sigh and shielded his hands inside of his pockets. I couldn't help but lean down and inspect her well rounded stomach. My medical training told me she was roughly seven months- give or take a week or two.
"Is it a boy or girl?" I asked, not even making eye contact with Ino, fascinated by the unborn life. Ino would never have enough patience to wait until birth to find out. My guess is the day she was far enough along, she marched Shikamaru down with her to find out. She ran a hand down her stomach gingerly, her eyes clouding over contemptibly in joy as she thought over her baby.
"Its a boy." she whispered, perhaps more to herself than to me. "His name is Issac Josiah Nara...or it will be in a couple months at least."
I smiled up at her warmly, "Issac Josiah? Beautiful name Ino..." She nodded, turning back to look at Shikamaru "Thank you. Shikamaru picked it. I was hoping for a girl but...now that I know it's a boy, I can't imagine it any other way."
Shikamaru gave a playful nod, trying to act as serious as possible but his sarcasm showed through reguardless, "And thank goodness too. I can't deal with two girls in the house- one's enough." Ino rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to the buldge in her abdomen. Her eyes lit up, increasingly wide, and turned back to Shikamaru.
"Ne, Shikarmaru.." she stated in a high childish voice.
"What do you want woman?" his voice was full of dread as his wife pulled on his forest green jacket.
"Baby Issac wants ice cream!"
He turned towards her, his eyes narrowed into thin slits, "This is the fourth time this week that 'Issac' has wanted ice cream, chocolate, or some other inedible substance the male race tends to avoid." He gave a finalizing fake glare to Ino, who gave a nervous laugh in response.
"...Takes after his mother?..." she fibbed rather...unconvincingly. He gave a small sigh, then smirked slightly, grabbing her waist and leading her away.
"Come on woman, you're far too troublesome.."
"Thank you babe!" Ino responded, holding his hand merrily as they headed off.
As I watched them leave, I couldn't help but feel slightly...jealous. Don't get me wrong, I wanted them to be happy, in fact I was so happy to see them together, married, having a home....each other...and a baby. Everything one could want. Everything I could want. Maybe one day I'd be lucky enough to have all of that too? Instantly, Itachi ran through my mind, and that small hope was instantly replaced with dread.
Who was I kidding? If I didn't love Itachi, I knew myself well enough that I would never find love again, but if I was with Itachi, I couldn't have a village...a home, and as if I could ever have a family in the Akatsuki. What a joke. No matter what I chose, I would never be happy. All I could do was live my dream through my friends, and watch them go through life with thier love and best friend. Heartbreaking...but at least some one would be happy
"Hey, Sakura-san...you're getting a bit misty eyed there..." Kiba teased, earning a laugh from both myself and Naruto. I turned back to the remainder of the group, "Sorry, it's just been so long, and there's so much going on at once..." I explained quickly, then sighed, "I just miss this place, a lot." I found myself admitting, then I turned back to the now pea sized figures of Ino and Shikamaru, "So much has changed...but I'm so happy to see...others happy. I've been gone for so long, it's nice to come back to a loving people. You didn't get that where I was.."
I cut myself off before I gave anything away, and luckilly Naruto cut in, "Well I can only immagine Sakura-chan. They are murderes- S ranked criminals. And you were stuck with the worst of them. That damned Itachi." he spat out like a curse, hate dripping from his words. I frowned slightly, feeling pain for his ignorance. If he only understood how good of a man Itachi was....and how bad of a person I was....they wouldn't be as welcoming as they were.
Kiba smiled, "You know what you need Sakura-san...just to get back into the swing of things?" he winked at Naruto, who grinned widely.
"Just what I was thinking Kiba. To Ichiraku's it is!"
-------------------------------------------
"Sakura, I've got another mission for you. And you'd better appreciate it, cause I pulled some strings to get you on this team. Had to fight the hospital staff and everything, even as the hokage it was had to tear you away."
I couldn't help but be instantly curious at Tsunade's announcement. It wasn't often I got to go on missions, my medical skills left me chained to the hospital walls practically. "What is it?" I asked, a ring in my voice that I couldn't mask. Tsunade smirked, handing me a manila folder.
The mission report.
I opened it quickly like a child at Christmas, as Tsunade explained, "I know how much your last mission with Uchiha frustrated you when you learned nothing about him. I thought this might give you some closure over it."
My eyes, as she said this darted to the mission goal. Two bold words made my anticipation turn to fear instantly.
Kill Itachi.
The moment stilled, Tsunade kept on talking, thouh I was not listening. Kill Itachi? Of all missions, the millions I wasn't allowed to go on...I was on the one I didn't want to be on! I couldn't be on this mission!!
"-Root then discovered that he would be here. So after further investigation, turns out they were right! He is going to be here tomorrow, leaving Konoha just enough time to set up a team to take him out: You, Naruto, Kakashi, Neji, Kiba, and Ino."
I tried desperatley to find ways to not fight, and I quickly realized I was the assigned medical ninja. Perhaps I could come back and heal Itachi..as long as he made it through the fight I could heal him back. I just had to make sure I was there to fulfill the role as the medical ninja. "I assume I am the medical ninja?" I asked, praying my voice didn't falter.
Tsunade smiled, "Now you will really love me. I added Ino on the team because I knew you would want to fight, so she has the role covered! I expect you to be one of the top fighters on the fount line Sakura. Think- we can finally repay him for destroying the Uchiha clan. You'll get to be apart of it!"
"Oh...great!" I lied, forcing a fake smile on my face.
A six man squad against one man? Even if it was Itachi, there was no way! The number of skilled ninja were far too many. None of us were weak people that Itachi could brush off in a second, and with people like myself, Kakashi and Naruto...heck everyone! Itachi could truly be killed...for something he didn't do!!
Tsunade stood up, "Do us proud Sakura! You can rid Konoha of this black spot and we can forget it ever happened! Don't let us down!"
Get rid of Itachi...forget it ever happened. Wouldn't that be convenient for Root. The mission was sickening. I couldn't do it, commit this...sin!
And in that moment, a part of my loyalty for Konoha died. I would not live in this ignorance. When I was sworn in to be a ninja, I swore to fight what was right, no matter what the cost. That is what Itachi did. And he willingly accepted the fate and lived a live or a villan...when he was the greatest hero Konoha may have ever had.
Fight what was right...no matter what the cost?
I didn't know the cost, but I did know one thing for certain.
This was so
wrong.
-----------------------------------
"Naruto" I stated, as I broke my chopsticks. "This isn't a date right?"
The second we arrived, Kiba mysteriously had something to do, and my wallet disappeared with him. Rather conveniently, Naruto offered he would treat me, claiming it to be in 'honor of my return'. Biggest load of crap I have ever heard.
I looked at him with a smirk, as he twitched at my testing question and broke his chopsticks very unevenly.
"No no Sakura-chan! I would never do something so low and pathetic as to having Kiba leave us alone. Because that would be...pathetic!" he laughed again nervously, then leaned forward "Unless of course...you want it to be." he ended darkly, his best attempt of being seductive I'm sure. It reminded me of Itachi...who could be seductive like no other. Itachi didn't rape me because...he didn't need to. Back when we were still madly in love, before thing went so terribly wrong, if he ever wanted to have sex, he would often time just look at me with some dark, passionate look that would make my knees give out, and I was the one begging him.
Truly pathetic.
Thinking over our once upon a time love life, a faint blush whissped across my face, which made Naruto assume was from his offer. He pointed, "Ah ha! I knew there was some hidden feelings deep down in your ice sickle heart."
I rolled my eyes, not able to keep myself from laughing at his description "Psh, ok Naruto if you say so.." I laughed again, watching as a steaming bowl of ramen was presented before each of us. I am not going to lie, I was rather excited about this. If I remember one thing about Konoha, it was that this little shop had the best ramen in the entire known ninja world!
Naruto was quickly devouring his ramen, rather unceremoniously. For me however? It had been literal years sense I had had Ichiraku's and I would not waste it by inhaling the food so fast my taste buds never had a chance. With a rather childish anticipation, I carefully spun the noodles around my chopsticks, and slowly brought it to my mouth, waiting for the explosion of flavor and warm liquid to run down my throat and warm my entire body as I swallowed.
It wasn't like I had had a better bowl of ramen or anything...but...something was missing. Something just wasn't the same, and I found myself rather disappointed. The ramen tasted the exact same as I recalled...so why was it so different? I knew the answer, and I couldn't help but symbolize the entire situation.
...My heart wasn't in Konoha. Nothing would ever be the same, even if the thing itself hadn't changed, like the ramen...I had changed. Even if Tsunade told me I could have my old life back...I was a new person. Could I really mold myself back to be the perfect Sakura that did what she was told, no questions asked? Could I do that, knowing that Konoha very well could be wrong?
Naruto finished his bowl, and shocked to see I barely touched my own bowl. "Lost your appetite Sakura?" he asked, quite concerned.
"You could say that.." I whispered, sling my bowl over to Naruto. "Hey I'm sorry to leave you, but there's a meeting at five and I don't want to be late." In reality, I just wanted to be alone, and Naruto would be too busy eating my bowl to ask questions.
I walked down the street, sunset making everything glow a faint orange. It was so nostalgic...and sad. This place, beautiful...tranquil...was only light on the outside. If the inhabitants of Konoha only knew...if they had any idea of what they were fighting for.
Dying for.
I found myself making my way to Tsunade's office, sitting down for a very long, boring meeting. One thing I noted on a cynical, side note that provided some comic relief from my difficult decision. No matter what I chose, I would be attending these boring meetings for the rest of my life.
Go figure.
I'll spare you the details of the zillionth meeting I have been to in my life, pretty much just more meaningless laws and bills that the council voted on. Though we did all decide on one thing- It was an official law now- all those with ninja dogs were required to have leashes for each animal, no matter how well trained the animal was. This included ferrets and ninja goldfish as well. (I am equally confused as you are, don't worry.)
'Oh how would Konoha have ever survived without the new law' I asked myself, trying not to laugh in the closing of the meeting.
Tsunade stood up, giving me a side glance that told me she thought it was ridiculous as I did, "Thank you members, I hope that all our meetings are as...sucessful...as this one." she fibbed, and I had to cover my laugh with a cough. They all nodded, and soon filtered out of the room at their dismissal.
She closed the door and gave a loud sigh, leaving just me, Shizune, and Tsunade in the room. "Thank god we got that out of the way. I didn't know if I could live another day with those damned goldfish...swimming freely over the streets of Konoha!!" I stated in a huff, crossing my arms to add to the drama. The three of us instantly busted up laughing. It was time like this I missed greatly. It wasn't Konoha I wanted for say, it was the people.
Tsunade sat in her chair, propping her legs up on her desk rather unladylike, pinching her nose to avoid a headache, though she was still smiling. "Things haven't changed that much.." she murmured, then looked at Shizune "And I'm out of white tea! Its hard for me to drink sake, telling people I'm drinking white tea, when clearly, I don't have any!"
Shizune rolled her eyes, "Because god forbid you actually drink what you say you are.."
No, some things hadn't changed much..if at all. But other things changed drastically.
"Hey Tsunade, speaking of change...where am I staying?"
Tsunade sat up with a smile, "Sakura, I knew you'd come back to us, so I made sure your apartment was untouched. The only thing you'll have to fight is the dust."
I couldn't help but smile. That was the first thing I did when I came back to Konoha after my two month life changing mission, moving out of my mothers house. After all, I couldn't be having wild sex with an S ranked criminal next to my mom's room. It just wasn't proper.
"Thanks Tsunade, you really are the best."
She stood up, "Sakura, no matter what happens...I won't ever hate you or give up on you. You are my apprintace after all." she winked, and I had to fight back tears actually. It meant a lot coming from her, and it was nice to know that she would always be there for me...no matter what.
I walked back to my apartment, a warm tingly feeling buzzing in me. I honestly had no clue what I would choose, but I still had a full forty eight hours to figure it out.
As I walked up the stairs, I paused and jumped up on the railing, feeling around for the loose roof tiling, right...about......there!
I grabbed my spare key with a smirk and opened up the door, walking inside of my place. Untouched, true to Tsunade's word.
I set my alarm, which still read the right time, as if knowing as well that I would come back to it. My eyes caught on my familiar bedside picture. A rather young, naive girl, smiling wildly, surrounded by an angered raven haired boy, and an equally as grouchy blonde. I couldn't help but smile at my memories of team 7, amazed at the diverse paths we all took. I couldn't help but wonder what I would say if I ever ran into Sasuke.
"Hey just so you know, I'm doing your brother."? or "Itachi is a real man, and you're just a crybaby douche bag."?
Neither seemed fitting, and both would end in my death I'm sure.
I gave a gentle laugh at how fiery I seemed to be today, and turned on my side to go to sleep. Though something caught my eye as I turned. A dark pink rectangular object, sitting next to my infamous picture that might as well have been glued to my nightstand.
I grabbed at the square smirking, and rolling my eyes with amusement.
Mysteriously, my wallet had found its way back to me.
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A/n: Hey all. So I've got a surprise for you all, but I'm not going to tell you what it is for a bit now. But maybe if you pester me enough, I'll crack and tell you a bit sooner than I was planning. :DD
So as always, I love this chapter. I wish I could have drawn out Sakura's emotion a bit more, but I think I gave the ups and downs properly. And I simply love the whole alluding to Shika and Ino...well that really isn't alluding at all is it? LOL! But I truly love that couple and couldn't resist putting them together, and it is vital to my plot line. No more detail, it just is. Oh and the baby's name Issac Josiah? BACK OFF. It is mine! Copy righted and dibbs! Whole nine yards! I love that name, and being a girl, I have various names picked out, one for a boy and one for a girl. I don't plan on having kids, so the names come out here. Steal my amazing names and I'll sick Ino on you to gouge your eyes out! Muaahaha! 0.o
I get a bit passionate when it comes to names. Another one I like? A.J Christina (Alexandria Jannae Christina.) Pretty huh? Yet another name you can't steal. Btw, I have had a fever for 2 full days now :( I'm DYING! (Not really.) Any who, please comment.
Midnight