A/N: Even though I have this story mapped out I feel like the quality is suffering because my heart isn't in it as it was last year. I apologize for this. Furthermore, I hope that some of you are particpating in NaNoWriMo this year! I'm sitting at just over 5k words and hope to reach at least 8k by midnight. Wish me luck!

Chapter 14- Temporary Weakness

I did everything I could think of in preparation for Saturday night. I was excited to be on the arm of Hans but I was also excited to get my life back to normal. I'd like to think of this stint in my life as a temporary weakness but a necessary one at that. I'd miss Hans but until our situation changed, I refused to be locked inside and making his every wish a command.

Friday night I sat on the edge of my bed, replaying everything in my mind. Where would I go? The map on Han's desk marked where the basterds' scalping had began again. They weren't far from where he found me. That was an area I wished to avoid anyway. Regensburg came to mind. Hans might find me easily there and part of me wanted him to…would he care enough to come look for me? All the same it was a busy city and perhaps I could avoid his detection. I went to sleep that night with many thoughts involving Hans- some pleasant and others not but I would not chicken out this time. I would not fold nor bend to his will.

Saturday night approached much too quickly for my liking. I had carefully decided upon everything that I would take with me when I left. I feared that by packing them too early he would notice. I didn't want him to come into my room and notice something missing like a book or a favourite article of clothing so I would wait until he walked out the door on Sunday, grab the few things I needed along with Max and that would be it. I would pack everything for Max- his toy, his bowls, his food but for me I would pack Dante's Inferno, one of Han's shirts, two spare sets of clothing and something small food wise like bread or a few apples.

He had gone out again that day. How frustrating and tiresome it must be to work a job where you don't necessarily have the weekends off or much time off at all for that matter. I spent the day pruning myself instead of slaving over a stove or cleaning the house. Max, like a newborn baby, was still puppy enough to need to go outside once every three hours then spend the rest of the day sleeping so I was able to focus on myself. I tweezed my eyebrows to perfection, spending more than 20 minutes in front of the mirror for that simple task. I didn't want a hair out of place tonight…not until we got home, that is. My nails were filed smoothly and shined with a coating of clear lacquer. I slipped into the yellow dress and wondered if he wasn't making my task easier by choosing this dress. I have to admit it was never my favourite but it looked nice. Hopefully it would lead him into my arms if only for one night.

I wouldn't be his conquest. He would be mine.

I wore my hair up for the first time since the day Hans and I met, making sure to expose my dainty neck and highlighting it with loose strands of hair I had purposefully separated to frame my face. I had been experimenting with makeup all week while he was out, perfecting the look so that I knew what to do to make it just right. I played up the eyes, pinkened the lips and cheeks ever so slightly and made sure to add a spritz of perfume, something I hardly ever wore. The final touch was jewelry and I kept it simple.

I stepped back and looked in the mirror once I considered everything 'done' and was amazed how it looked when it all came together. I was afraid though that this beauty had a time limit and the longer I had to wait for him, the more it would fade from wear. It was hard to keep myself away from the mirror while waiting another 30 minutes for him to come home and quickly change. I heard him come in but did not emerge from my room. I didn't want him to see me until it was time to go.

He tapped on my door gently. "Be ready in 15." Then I heard him walk away, towards the washroom.

Dragging myself from the mirror, I waited for him in the kitchen with my purse on the table and my jacket draped across my folded arms. When I heard him approaching, I turned so that my back was to him. I wanted to relish the moment he saw my face. I had never on any occasion or outing with him (nor in my life) put so much effort into looking so fashionable. He turned me around and offered to put my coat on for me. He didn't say anything but that's all I needed. I took his silence as a victory and told him how nice he looked in return to his amazed stare. He smiled and escorted me out of the house.

The car ride was far more eventful than I had ever imagined it would be. He sat unusually close to me. Instead of staring ahead or out the window his gaze stayed on me the entire time. I think he was purposefully trying to make me feel uncomfortable but it only made the heat escalate in the car. We had to keep things to ourselves unfortunately. After all I didn't want to subject the poor driver- what was his name again?- to anything too extreme.

I made sure that when I crossed my legs, my knee was exposed and though I thought it a simple tease he did not hesitate to lay his hand upon my leg and allow it to run up my thigh. I shivered at the warm contact and automatically turned towards him, gripping his jacket. He moved his free hand to my bare neck and trailed it over my exposed collarbone, tickling ever so slightly. It was a brief moment but one I'll never forget, feeling his breath against my mouth. The kiss was as impassioned as our first and I did not hesitate to run my tongue along his teeth again. Much to my chagrin, the car stopped just then and Hans pulled away, stepping out and offering me his warm hand. Silent victory #2.

I never thought in all my life I'd ever get the chance to walk on a red carpet but I did as Hans escorted me inside the Ritz. It was the most beautiful place I'd ever set eyes on. The place was alive that night, warm and intimate. There were grand chandeliers hanging from the high ceilings. The regal walls were painted cream and there were large windows framed with deep red curtains. Classical paintings adorned the walls and there were wide mirrors that stretched the height of the room. The round tables that were scattered about were adorned with red and black clothes. I'm sure I stood out like a sore thumb in my bright yellow dress, like a flower in winter, and it was exactly what he had wanted.

Hans introduced me to a few of the military couples but somehow the women and men split and I found myself mixing and mingling on my own with some of the officer's wives and daughters. At least some of them I assumed were daughters but Hans himself was far older than I was. Perhaps they were wives as well.

Even from across the room his presence was so demanding. I studied him between the crowds from afar and caught him looking back at me at times. We would exchange smiles and perhaps he'd wink then go back to his present conversation. What made my knees almost buckle was the sight of him standing by himself, leaning against a column and looking at me, only me from across the room. Just how long had he been doing that, I wondered.

I realized that he was wearing a uniform I'd never seen before. His lopsided grin remained plastered on his face as he watched me study him from head to toe. It was a grey uniform and he wore a white shirt underneath as opposed to the mustard coloured one that I favoured so much. There was a gold medal hanging over his tie at the collar that I had never seen before and I made a note to ask him about it later…later when I was hopefully undressing him. I would go to just about any length to get him there tonight.

The mere idea of leaving him and getting my old life back had surged inside of me and suddenly put me back to being myself for the first time in a long time. I used to be more fun and flirtatious. Once again, this whole incident was just an interruption- a temporary weakness.

All of a sudden, I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and I couldn't stop it from registering on my face. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Hans rise from his leaning position on the column and come towards me.

"What is it?" he asked and I felt as though the very breath had been driven from my lungs, my heart started to pound uncontrollably.

"I feel like someone just walked over my grave," I said and he frowned. "I'm all right," I assured him and pushed his hands away gently. I looked around the room to find the door. Some fresh air might be good. However, in my search I caught on to something familiar. I don't know what it was at first, a familiar voice perhaps or just a familiar presence. A taller soldier caught my eye and I noticed the faint trace of a scar on his left cheek where he had been scratched by what looked like human hands…with dire force.

That voice…that face…standing meters in front of me in a Nazi uniform, was one of my attackers.

The ringing sound that raced through my ears when Hans first walked me down the hall to Dr. Kirsch's office returned. It was in that moment that I felt my heart shatter. I felt a cold sweat forming upon my brow and the nape of my neck. I had to get into the fresh air fast and I most certainly did not plan on coming back here.

I found the door we had entered through and didn't bother to see if Hans was following me or not. On my way to the door I spotted two other familiar faces and I could only suspect that there were more. Germans. I had been betrayed by my own people. I ran out of the Ritz thankful to feel the crisp night air upon my face. It wasn't cold enough though to cool me down. Running in heals never seemed easier as I was driven by my emotions to run away from those people. I only made it about a block or two before I rounded the corner to an empty street and heaved the substance in my stomach. I stood there for a moment clutching the side of a building, making sure that all the insides that were going to come out where out before I stood. I would just hate to ruin Hans's favourite dress…

Hans.

"Ada?" I heard from behind me and felt a strong hand on my shoulder.

"Don't you touch me," I yelled as I turned towards him.

He took a step back. I didn't even recognize the voice that erupted from my body. He recovered and stepped forward to grab me again. I'm not sure who was more surprised by my strength. I wiggled my wrist out of his grasp and shoved him away.

"I said don't touch me." We stood there for a moment each waiting to see who would do what next. My mind was racing. "You knew? You knew? You knew." I said it three times, accusingly, disbelievingly and the latter being a statement. He knew. "How long have you known? Answer me!"

I think more often than not that my tone is what startled the honesty from his lips. "6 weeks to 2 months," he stammered out.

My emotions were a mixture of sorrow and rage. I didn't know which to show.

"How dare you," was all I could muster. There were no words to explain my anger or grief. What could I possibly say to him now? "How dare you let me love you. No. How dare you let me fall in love with you." He took steps towards me again and I backed away.

"How about now, Hans? Do I look beautiful now that you have me angry with you?" I asked, mocking his claims from earlier this week.

"Always," he said.

"Your charm is dead to me," I said. I wanted to tell him never to look at me again, to not find me or force me to look at him but even in my unfit state of mind I couldn't say those things. Instead I chose to turn my back on him and walk away. "You will not sweet talk your way out of this one, Hans."

"Where are you going?" he called but as I turned I saw that he had not followed. He had not moved an inch, just as I had silently requested.

"Away from you," I said.

"You aren't thinking clearly, Ada."

"I'm not angry with you, Hans," I said, turning towards him. He seemed surprised. "I'm livid. I had a temporary weakness and you were there to strengthen me up but in doing so you also knocked me down so far that I couldn't stand it. Did you hear what I said? The weakness you saw in me was temporary. In my state no man down a dark alley would dare mess with me."

It was tragic. I was saddened by the raw expressions on his face. Hans didn't show expressions often and when he did they were always guarded. There was no lie in his eyes and he may have wanted to follow me but we both knew he couldn't leave. He had to stay and let me go, at least for a little while. He had to stay because it was his duty. And just like the cage I felt that he had ensnared me in, he was inside his own cage, one provided for by his country and was not free to follow me as I walked away from him and into the cold night.