They tumbled into Kerry's building, leaving puddles through the front foyer. Kerry pinned Michel to the elevator wall and tasted his throat, nipping the bare flesh as she charted his back with trembling fingers. She couldn't quite believe that he was letting her take control. But he did. He let her pin him. His hands curled into her hair and he tipped her face up for a kiss.
He was slow and steady to her frantic; fingers stroking the nape of her neck as he murmured soothing sounds between languid kisses.
He leant back against the inside of the elevator when she wriggled impatiently against him. "We have all night." His voice was just as languid as his kisses; but heat clung to the edges of it as though he was struggling to stay composed. "No need to rush; I promise."
Kerry wondered whether he had something against rushing. They'd been dancing around this situation ever since he'd come back – that had taken enough time, surely? She laced the fingers of her left hand with his, studying him as he traced the line of her jaw with his free hand. His eyes were hard, as though he'd tamped down all of his emotions. Under the florescent lighting he looked beautiful, but he didn't look the slightest bit human.
That was probably the closest she'd come to seeing him discomfited. His way of putting up a shield. He wasn't taking it slow for her – he was taking it slow for him. It made sense; it had probably been years since he'd been in a situation like this.
The lift pinged to a stop and Kerry backed out. "Shower with me?" She didn't realise until the words were out how like him she was. Her voice got cold when she was nervous – while he turned full vampire on her. If they wanted a healthy relationship, they were so screwed.
He caught her around the waist, lifting her with ease. She wrapped her arms and legs around him; running her teeth along his throat. He plucked the keys from her unresisting fingers and unlocked the door while she kissed him. His multi-tasking skills pretty much left hers choking in the dust. She'd barely undone his jacket and he was kicking the bathroom door closed behind them and setting her down on the vanity, mouth not leaving hers for an instant.
It was all a little too sudden, a little too desperate. Michel should have been keeping up some defences, but she hadn't run into any. That wasn't something she wanted to think about, so she shoved the notion aside and pulled back to lick her bruised lips.
Michel shrugged out of his jacket, taking two steps to the door and locking it. He was too beautiful for this dilapidated place with its cracked vinyl floors and 70s robin-egg blue tub. It didn't make sense that he was putting up with it for her.
Kerry leant against the mirrored wall and grinned at him. He didn't smile; eyes cool as he came back to her. Not bothering with the zipper of her jacket, he caught the hem and pulled it over her head, dragging her shirt along with it.
She tugged at the hem of his shirt, but her fingers were stiff with cold. "If we don't get in the shower pretty much now, I'm going to freeze."
He stepped aside, letting her duck past him to turn the faucets on. When she glanced over her shoulder, he was leaning against the vanity, arms folded across his chest. His defences were still down; Kerry thought that he was keeping them down by force of will. The idea made her stomach twist unpleasantly because it meant something, and she was pretty sure that it didn't mean anything good. She wondered if she could afford to ignore the possible warning sign, then he pulled his shirt off and she stopped caring about anything that wasn't him.
#
They ended up in bed, twisted up in each other, still damp. It was starting to worry Kerry that Michel hadn't been the slightest bit mocking since she'd kissed him out by that bridal boutique. He'd been far more like the sweet college kid that she'd first met – not sunny exactly, but attentive and careful with her. It was disconcerting and – well, Kerry preferred Michel to Ethan.
She ran her fingers down his chest, nails lightly scouring his skin, still a little amazed that she was allowed to do this. Even more amazed that he wasn't scornfully amused by her cautious reverence.
She sat up, pushing her hair back. "I'm going to find something to eat. Did you manage to get something tonight?"
He grinned, a sharp flash of fang in the low light. "The Apple boy was very accommodating."
Of course, Michel would have had to go there to get her SIM unlocked. Kerry slipped out of bed, pulling an oversized T-shirt on as she headed for the door.
She'd fallen behind on shopping so the only thing she could find in the pantry was brown rice and a can of chilli tuna. It would do. She filched one of Sarah's single-serve yoghurts and ate it while leaning against the bench waiting for the rice to cook.
Away from Michel it was easier to think. Away from Michel, his behaviour worried her more. It was second nature for him to keep her at arm's length; keep her unsure of him. His sudden sweetness probably meant that he was trying out a new way to control her – only it didn't feel like it. It felt like his touch had felt when she'd told him that she didn't want to be a vampire all those years ago. Like his hug had felt when he'd realised that he was either going to have to kill her or let her go.
He was letting her go.
Fingers numb, Kerry fumbled the yoghurt and the container dropped from her hands. Michel caught it before it hit the floor, depositing it and the spoon on the bench. His clothes were still soaked so he was in a towel instead.
"How long does it take you humans to eat?" He sounded more indolent than annoyed.
Kerry smirked at him. "I don't have to seduce my food, so significantly less time than it takes you, I imagine."
He grinned, moving into her space. Still way too careful. When he kissed her it felt like he was afraid that he'd break her.
She hit him in the chest with the palm of her hand. "I know you're a vampire," she said against his mouth. "You're not going to scare me off."
He chuckled and pressed his fangs into her lower lip. Even though this was different from the last time, it felt like he was kissing her goodbye. It was a long, languid kiss that made her think that he was memorising her – and that this was the last chance he'd have.
She pulled away. "What was on Lucas's phone?" It had better be something insurmountable if he was planning on leaving her over it.
He stiffened, eyes narrowing before he shook his head forcefully. "Nothing."
"Give it to me," said Kerry. She had checked the phone, but she'd been checking text messages because she hadn't known that Lucas was trying to feed them what they needed. She should have looked in the memo app or calendar.
He sighed, but turned and left the kitchen. Kerry was about to follow him when he came back. He set the phone in her hand. "I'll be in your room." He stepped back but reached out to tangle his fingers in her hair. "There's not much left of the night."
Kerry tried to supress the shudder that flickered through her spine as he left her. They didn't have much time. When she'd walked away from him three years ago, she was sure that he would find her again. This time he was walking away, and she wasn't sure of anything.
She swiped the phone on and worked her way through the memos. When she was done, the rice was boiling over onto the stove-top and her fingers were trembling.
She took the pan off the heat, abandoned the rice in the sink and went back to the bedroom.
"There's nothing here," she said, holding the phone up. "I thought that Lucas would give you something to work with."
Michel lowered her demonology text, lifted his head, and watched her. She chewed her lower lip; stared back, willed him to break before she did. He was a vampire though; he'd had hundreds of years to learn to control himself – her nineteen years had nothing on him. He was relaxed, leaning back into her pillows on the bed, wrapped in a towel and looking like a Greek god.
Kerry cleared her throat. "So you know where Clarence is," she said, her voice carefully blank. She didn't let herself beg, no matter how much she might have wanted to. "That's not a plan. Lucas could have told you his weak spots. He could have given you an indication of what kind of security Clarence has. A location isn't enough."
Michel flickered a smile of amusement at her. "We're vampires, Kerry."
Kerry lifted her chin. "What you're saying is that Lucas didn't know what Clarence's weak spots were. He didn't know anything but the location, because Clarence is as paranoid as you are."
That smile flickered again, warmer, like she'd proved to be worthy of some expectation he'd had of her.
"We could leave," said Kerry. "I can pack before tomorrow night. I can promise never to come back here…"
"Never to see your family again," Michel put in succinctly, lifting the book.
Kerry bit back a sob of frustration. Even if she made that promise he'd know that she was lying. "We can still leave," she protested. "He doesn't know who I am. No one let my name slip."
Michel shook his head, not looking up from the book. "He'll find you, no matter where we go. This is the best chance I'll have to take him down. If we run, I won't be able to find him again."
"You can't walk into his lair," said Kerry. Lair probably wasn't the right word when, according to Lucas, Clarence was set up in one of the more affluent buildings in the area. "You don't know how many vampires he's recruited."
He set the book aside and unfolded from the bed, moving to stand by her, fingers brushing the side of her throat before she had time to blink. "I am incredibly old, Kerry." His French accent, which occasionally slipped into his voice now dripped from every word; so thick that Kerry had to concentrate to understand him. "His powers are nothing on mine."
"He's younger than you?"
Michel sighed. "You know me. If he was a danger to me I would kill you – or leave you to die – no matter my feelings on the matter. Of course he's younger than me. His sire was younger than mine as well. Why do you think he wanted you?"
Kerry licked her lips, studying Michel. "He needed an edge," she said.
Michel grinned. "Because he would never be able to take me without one."
Kerry reached out and touched his chest, felt the beat of his heart beneath the flesh; many times slower than hers. Steady. His tone was even, amused, a little mocking. And she couldn't pick out anything in his words that didn't ring true. Michel would abandon anything to ensure his safety.
But she stretched up to kiss him and everything in that kiss felt like a goodbye.
He wasn't letting her go. He was preparing to die.