All Good Things

by PapayaK

I really wanted to get this out before season 5 premieres because when it does, this will almost certainly become AU. I suppose it already is, a little bit, because in this story, we do not lose Shaw in the basement of the stock exchange. What if John disappeared instead? It will, ultimately, give one idea on the closure of the Samaritan timeline.

14. Deleted scene 1

WELCOME TO THE DELETED SCENES! - THE STORY IS OVER. THESE ARE LIKE 'EXTRAS'

It was always a part of the plan to write what John was experiencing at the hands of Samaritan.

But much like the laments we hear on the extras of our favorite shows, due to issues of pacing, time and just logical progression, they didn't make it. These chapters have been sitting in my computer wasting away, I figured, I'd throw I them in – in case you were interested…

This would have come between chapters two and three.

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Deleted scene 1
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"Pain

I guess it's a matter of sensation"
- Dangermouse and Sparklehorse, "Revenge" (The song from the end of Many Happy Returns s1e21)

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There were three constants in John's life: 1. Orders. 2. You're alone and no one is coming to save you. 3. Loss.

He didn't put them there. He didn't want them there. But they'd been there for as long as he could remember and he didn't know how to get rid of them.

He considered these things as another wave of pain rolled through him. It should have depressed him, but he'd long ago accepted these things as merely facts.

The things that Dr. Sievert was doing to him held little interest. The more he paid attention, the more it hurt, so he forced himself to draw in another shuddering breath and focussed on something else.

Funny how he'd gotten so good at this. He thought back to the training he'd received on 'The Farm' - pleasant name for an unpleasant place. It had been a textbook example of the cure being worse than the disease, or at least he'd thought so at the time.
"In general, individuals who are the hardest to interrogate for information are those who
have experienced previous interrogations. Practice in being the victim of interrogation is a
sound training device."*
John smiled at the memory. And then belatedly realized he shouldn't be smiling. Fatigue must be taking more of a toll than he'd thought.

They'd already been through several steps of the process. John was familiar with it. It was easier to beat the opposing team when you already knew their playbook.

It was only going to get worse.

He could feel himself fading.

As an upside, he really was learning more about his enemy, Samaritan. And he could easily see how it was superior to The Machine in so many ways. It was far more powerful, more efficient, more complex but at the same time it made things simpler. He could easily see himself being an effective agent for it. He'd be well rewarded.

He blinked - redirected his thoughts.

He recognized that they were reaching the final stages, he and the good doctor. He was nearing the end. He could now see Samaritan's ordered beauty against The Machine's limited information and chaos. He thought about how much pain he'd endured because of The Machine.

He didn't know how much longer he could hang on. But the thought of death brought him no comfort.

Not even death would release him.

TBC...

*the quotes about brainwashing in this and future chapters are taken from a 1956 declassified document I found online. It was a CIA memo to J. Edgar Hoover on communist brainwashing techniques. Fascinating (and terrifying) stuff.