Thanks to guest who suggested edible and non-edible plants. Keep the ideas rolling everyone.
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If I ever made it back home, the skills I learned in Middle Earth would help me survive the zombie apocalypse everyone seems to think is inevitable.
For one, I would know which mushrooms to pick.
Yes, while everyone else who survived the zompocalypse would pick mushrooms meant to kill I would rise above and pick the good kind.
And by good kind I mean non-poisonous, healthy ones. Not the ones that make you high. Which, arguably could be the good ones and I'm pretty positive the hobbits know mushrooms out there that aren't kid friendly and I would know which ones those were if the little pains would tell me … and I'm going off. Back to the topic.
Surprisingly, or not, Aragorn was the most helpful in identifying things to eat, things to heal, and things that kill. Three things everyone should know about the wilderness according to Aragorn, who always delved into full lecture mode whenever he was pointing something out.
This lecturing about wildlife started after I almost consumed a questionable leaf. Hey in my defense the plant looked like lettuce. And I was hungry.
Aragorn just happened to be looking behind him when he saw me leaning over about to pluck the most gorgeous head of lettuce I've ever seen. He let out a shout, grabbed the back of my shirt and all but chucked me away from my dinner.
The others, like clockwork, had stopped and stared at the drama unfolding. At least they got daily entertainment with me around.
This was a unique episode of entertainment since it was, for once, not Boromir and I going at it, but Aragorn pretty much just yelling in my face.
"Are you trying to get yourself killed?"
...
"Is that an actual question?"
"What in all of Arda possessed you to pick up the mortus plant? Even brushing against it can allow the poison on the leaves to seep into your skin!"
Now I wasn't all that good with latin, nor did I know they spoke it here, but mortus kinda sounded like death or something equally unpleasant.
"Dude, that looks like a head of lettuce. I'm starving. Ergo I want to eat the lettuce."
From the corner of my eye I could see Boromir shaking his head at my lack of preservation skills.
Well excuse me Boromir.
Aragorn, on the other hand, was hovering over the lettuce pointing out all the reasons why this plant shouldn't be consumed.
"As you can see here the red vein...,"
"And the darkness of the plant near the roots...,"
"The slight oder of decaying meat...,"
"The way the leaves curl...,"
Pretty much a whole bunch of nothing that I could understand.
It still looked like lettuce.
I cut him off, "Dude, fine. I won't eat the lettuce. Sheesh. When's dinner?"
I couldn't be a hundred percent positive, but it looked like Aragorn had pouted when I cut him off from his little spiel.
Ok then.
Feeling a bit bad for cutting off his moment, I amended, "Aragorn,I would love to hear all about what would kill me in a bit. How about you show me what we can gather for dinner eh. So I'll know what to eat in case were separated. I'll even build the fire."
Which is how I became educated in the dos and don'ts of edible plant eating in Middle Earth.
And how I almost killed myself for a second time that night by almost touching a poisonous mushroom.
Even the hobbits lectured me on that one.