14
Sakura sat up on the bed with a loud, guttural gasp. Her eyes were wide and she began to lose control of her nerves under her skin. Her limbs began to shake and she was practically paralyzed in place as she listened to people screaming outside, listened to that sickening splatter of blood on the walls.
This couldn't be happening.
This shouldn't be happening.
They were safe—they had been safe! Gaara would have never turned them in. This was a dream, this was a dream, this was a dream, this was a god-awful dream. She began to pinch herself, breathing hard and gritting her teeth.
But as hard as she pinched herself she wasn't waking up.
"Sakura!" Sasuke barged into the room, buckling his katana across his torso, his eyes wild. It was then that it sunk in.
They were found.
This was real.
They were found and this was real.
Sakura couldn't stop the tears that prickled the back of her eyes. Still, she shot out of bed and dressed herself, not caring if Sasuke was within the room and seeing all of her. She messily strapped her weapon's pouch around her thigh, grabbing her tanzō and her medical pouch and running around the room until Sasuke snatched at her wrist and stared her in the eye.
"Now," he hissed. "Now. We have to leave now."
She nodded, numb and lost and about ready to give up. Somewhere deep inside her she knew her incontrollable anger still bubbled and roamed her body but it wasn't coming and it was leaving her vulnerable. She wanted nothing more but to just kneel and give in—what more was there to even do?
A sob managed to escape passed her tightly shut lips and Sasuke turned to look over his shoulder as he lead her out the apartment.
He yanked the door open, pulling her to stand flat against the wall next to him. The screams and the killing were even more intense now that the door was opened. Sakura was used to death and war in all its forms but the fact that all these people were innocent was eating her alive.
They were dying because of her. Everyone was dying because their village was housing two rogues.
Sasuke moved to look outside from the doorframe, his grip still tight around her wrist. Sakura watched the way his throat constricted as he swallowed, a thin trickle of sweat trailing down his temple.
"C'mon," he grunted and he pulled her along with him.
Sakura felt weak. This was not who she was anymore; this wasn't who she had been weeks before but she couldn't call forth the warrior inside her and she had no excuse as to why. And that was it! That was it, she didn't have any sort of excuse to pardon how weak and how much of a burden she was being right then.
"Fuck," Sasuke hissed as ROOT rained down on them from the rooftops. "Snap out of it, Sakura!"
Her breathing was erratic as she tried to center herself, lips curling to bare her teeth into a snarl as she moved to stand back to back with him. She was still shaking at her very core but she tried to ignore it—this was her mission. Finding Naruto and Kakashi was her mission; this minor setback was part of her mission. She was team leader and she had to concentrate.
ROOT made to attack them but just as they jumped for the attack a wall of sand curled around Sakura and Sasuke, keeping them safe and away from their enemy.
A powerful gust of wind flew by and it howled with ferocity. Sakura snapped her eyes closed to keep the grains of sand from assaulting her eyes. A second later, the cocoon of sand was gone and she watched as Kankuro, Temari and Gaara surrounded them like shields.
"Leave," Gaara commanded as he turned to them from over his shoulder. "We'll hold them off until you are safely out of the village."
"Bullshit!" Sakura spat as she felt the fire begin to boil her blood and that familiar, choking, drowning sensation of raw rage began to take over her. "We're fighting too! They're after us; we're fighting too!"
Gaara paused from what he was doing and turned to them, his light eyes staring at her for a moment before they shifted towards Sasuke.
"You're going to find Naruto," he murmured but Sakura still heard him. "You won't do it if you get captured here. Take her by force."
"What—"
She felt a strong arm snake around her and pull her. Her back was crushed against a toned chest before she was thrown over Sasuke's shoulder and suddenly he was sprinting away with Gaara, Temari and Kankuro clearing the path for them.
"No—Sasuke, no! Put me down!" Tears of both anger and the feeling of being useless began to dampen her cheeks. "We have to fight! We have to fight with them; this is my fault!" She sobbed, the fight leaving her body like a gasp. "We have… Oh god."
Sasuke didn't respond and Sakura cried.
.
.
.
Dusk was beginning to set when they finally arrived to the borders of Wind Country and Fire Country. Sasuke set her down as soon as they were concealed within the trees and Sakura felt a burst of ten million kinds of emotions surface and gnaw through her skin.
She let out a ferocious scream as she punched a tree. It tumbled down and took another one down with it. Sakura breathed hard, images of all that was happening in Suna because of her kept flashing through her mind and it fueled her anger and her pain. She let out another scream and picked up a tree, pulling it out of the ground with roots and all. She began to swing it, angry tears streaming down her cheeks as she began to absolutely destroy the little clearing they were hiding in.
The crack of splinters and wood breaking off of the trees made her blood boiled and she kicked and stomped and punched and ran her hands through her hair and pulled and screamed.
What more could Danzo take from her?! What more could he do?! How far was he going to go? Where else could she run to before she was a cornered rat?
She sobbed, hugging herself and hating herself for such a poor performance.
Sasuke moved to lean against the fallen trees stacked up over each other, his arms crossed and his facial expression blank.
"Are you done?"
She turned towards him, bloodshot eyes narrowed and teeth bared. "I won't accept you putting me down."
He snorted. "I'm not putting you down. What you have done in your tantrum, though, is possibly alerted any ROOT that's managed to escape and come after us."
Sakura stood still.
"Why are you crying?"
She stared at him and he stared right back at her, his expression grim, thin lips in a tight line.
"Shut up, Sasuke."
"Answer my question," he said, his voice low and heavy. "Why are you crying?"
"What am I supposed to do, Sasuke?!" She spread her arms at her sides, palms facing upwards and shoulders rising before falling in a sloppy shrug. "What am I supposed to do?! People died back there because of me! Gaara and Kankuro and Temari could be in trouble right now—who the fuck knows what the fuck is happening right now!"
"It's a sacrifice that had to happen," he said and it disgusted her. "You have a goddamn goal that he supported. You're out to find Naruto and then return to Konoha and take it back from its dictator. Gaara supported that. He made his choice. Now it's about fucking time you decide if you're going to stick to yours."
She looked down, angrily cleaning the tear-trails off her cheeks with the back of her hand. She felt small and weak under his intense scrutiny and Sakura wanted nothing more than to curl into herself and disappear.
Still, he had a point. Sakura took a deep breath, closed her eyes and exhaled before she looked up at him. He was still watching her, his arms crossed in front of his chest, lips tilted at the corners into a frown.
"Okay," she whispered.
"Hn?"
"I will find a way to fix things," she said with a nod. "For now, we have to find Naruto. We've wasted enough time. I'll fix things."
"Stop being stupid, Sakura," he scoffed as he stood up straight. "Quit shouldering the burden on your own."
Sasuke turned around and began to lead them away. It took a second for Sakura to take off after him, her heart palpitating too fast against her ribcage and her breath escaping her.
.
.
.
At around midnight they managed to put a good deal of distance between them, the border of Fire and Wind Country and Suna. The night was chilly and they had no blankets and no cloaks to shield them.
Sakura curled up into Sasuke's side, huddled into a small ball and staring at the fire. It was continuously taunted and bothered by the cold wind and if it weren't for Sasuke picking at it, throwing the occasional twig or branch and using another jutsu, it'd of died by now.
She knew it was an awkward position especially for them. There was a line between them and their relationship but Sakura didn't know where it was placed, where the boundaries lied. But without any blankets or any shelter the closest thing they had was each other's body heat.
Kiri was their unannounced destination. Kiri was cold and misty; perhaps in the morning they could make a pit stop at a small village along the way, buy cloaks or something.
She sighed.
"I could go for some dango right now," she mused, softly.
She felt rather than heard his snort and she smiled, eyes closing and mind drifting.
"Mmm, some grilled pork," she went on. "With grilled cucumbers."
"Okonomiyaki," he murmured and Sakura groaned.
"That sounds really good too."
It went quiet then and Sakura let out a long exhale that left her feeling empty. When she had been a student at the Academy, the thought of her current predicament never crossed her mind. Not silly, big forehead, Haruno Sakura—what's so special about her to make her become such a wanted kunoichi? What could she possibly do to force her to become a rogue?
She lifted a hand up and pretended to snatch at the flames. Her attention fell to the nastier pinch she'd given herself the day before, when she had been so sure the attack on Suna was just a horrible nightmare.
It looked like a bite mark, crescent shaped openings on either side of a nasty looking bruise. She'd been in such a shock; she hadn't even realized just how hard she had been pinching herself.
She shifted against Sasuke so that her back curved against his side, reaching her hand to her injured forearm and proceeding to heal it.
"Was it hard?"
Sakura blinked her eyes. "Hm?"
"Studying medical ninjutsu," he elaborated.
Sakura closed her eyes, her lips softened into something that could be a smile but wasn't curved enough to be called one..
"It was right after you left. I felt so stupid and helpless and pathetic that I just… I went to Tsunade-sama and I begged her to train me. I don't… My drive was my own but the thought that we'd lost you was the push, you know? I wanted to be there for you and for Naruto. I couldn't do that when I was just that weak helpless girl at the side.
"So I started training and I only trained harder when Naruto left not too long after you did. Revived a dead fish, healed a bird's broken wing, restored the cells of a mangled rabbit. Then I started practicing on people. I memorized poisons and their antidotes and I worked on my reflexes when Shishou would attack me with her chakra-coated punches."
She laughed as she remembered the first few training sessions.
"I had to heal my broken ribs once when Shishou kicked me right at the side and made me collide with five trees." She shifted again, using his ribs as her pillow. "I guess it was hard. I just never… Thought of it as hard. I thought of it like… Okay this sounds lame but I thought of it as one step closer to being up there with you and Naruto."
He didn't reply and they fell into a mutual silence again. But he listened, Sakura knew. It was just something about Sasuke—he listened to every pronunciation, every breath and every word.
She fell asleep with that thought in mind.
.
.
.
The splatter of blood.
And he woke up with a jolt.
He took a deep intake of air, running his hand through his hair and cursing under his breath. He would always wake up just as Itachi'd massacre their parents, way before he came into the room and found him hovering over their dead bodies.
This wasn't normal. This wasn't normal—no one could possibly live with having goddamn nightmares every night. He understood; it was the solid truth, he understood. It was engraved, what he had once believed was overwritten. There was no need for the nightly reminder.
He'd go crazy if this kept up.
Sasuke yawned, rolling his eyes back for a second before he looked down at the sleeping girl curled up next to him.
He observed how calm she looked while asleep. The way her lips were set into a straight, neutral frown and her brow was free of any angry lines.
This was the girl he remembered. Soft and delicate and not the raging warrior filled up to the brim with raw hostility. That girl was a stranger—a fascinating stranger. It was… something to watch her be at war with herself, trying to fight back the rage yet at the same time trying to submit to it. It was like she didn't know what she was doing, didn't know where to turn.
It reminded him a lot about how he'd felt, how he would still feel sometimes when he wasn't paying attention.
Sasuke exhaled and looked up at the sky peeking in from in between the thick branches. It was a little passed dawn and clearly the time to move. He reached for Sakura's shoulder, some of her maroon hair tickling at his knuckles.
"Sakura."
She shifted, digging further into his side as if seeking for something that he didn't think he could give her. Sasuke watched her, sighing and looking away to observe the shadows behind the trees.
"We have to go," he said as he tried one more time. "Sakura."
"I'M SORRY!"
Sasuke sat there, stunned and staring at her while trying to let her outburst sink in.
"I—" she looked around, green eyes frantic for an excuse. "I'm sorry… That…"
He shook his head. "We have to go."
"Are...?"
"No."
She stood up, running her hands through her hair and fixing her rumpled clothes. Sasuke killed what little was left of the fire and grabbed his katana, handing her the medical pouch and preparing himself for the travel.
Sakura kicked at the dead fire and Sasuke led them away.
.
.
.
In Konoha, Ino sat on her windowpane and stared at the village. It was sad how the village looked so normal and happy, like nothing was wrong. The villagers were oblivious.
Of course they were oblivious.
This civil war was between the shinobi and their new leader.
No one could see the figures in the shadows, moving around and oppressing shinobi and kunoichi alike. Forcing them to agree with Danzo when the very thought of the man's ideals made everyone want to spit on the very ground he stood on.
It was becoming harder to meet the others. Surveillance was getting harsher and even her father was beginning to snap at the short leash.
Ino hugged her knees closer to her chest.
She wondered how Sakura was doing. She hoped Sasuke was taking care of her. Ino's best friend was strong and could handle herself but she didn't know when to stop. She needed someone to pull her back when things were out of her reach and Ino hoped Sasuke was doing that.
More importantly, she hoped they would come home.
She sighed and turned away from the window.