Hi all!

Thought I'd post another couple of chapters since I've been rubbish lately :)

This one carries on the day after Syed takes Christian to the police station. Clearly something happened when Christian took Syed home, otherwise why mention it? :)

xoxoxo

1st August 2009

For the first time in a few days, my first thought wasn't I still can't believe I let myself get attacked. It wasn't even I wonder what crazy things are gonna happen between Sy and me today. Last night, when Sy brought me back from the police station and saw the full extent of my bruises for the first time, I could see the look of pure horror on his face. I tried to cover it up as best as I could, tell him it didn't hurt that much, really. But I knew that he saw through me with every touch he gave me. But, despite the pain, I was grateful for his touch. It made me feel like I was more than a human punch bag. Sy made me feel so cherished, like if his touch was too hard, I would shatter in his hands.

The way he made love to me last night told me that I was cared about, that someone out there did care what happened to me, no matter what anyone else thought. He made me feel as though I was worth something; that I wasn't just some middle-aged Queen who was good for a beating every now and again.

He hadn't stayed the night, of course, I hadn't especially expected him to. But it still hurt slightly that he was gone when I woke up this morning. I knew he had to keep up the pretence for the sake of his family and his community, and I sort of respected that. It was good that he respected his faith enough to at least put on a show of living up to their values, even if it did make him a hypocrite in some ways. But at the same time, I resented him for not being able to be true to himself, and to me. I was almost crying out for him to wake up and realise that, somewhere down the line, no matter how far into the future, all of this was going to come out and he was going to end up hurting everyone around him. I just hoped that I could be there to pick up the shattered pieces of his life when it happened.

I sit up in bed, deciding that it's probably time to get up, but no sooner have I stood and wrapped my dressing gown around myself, there's an knock at my front door. I practically jump out of my skin, and find myself standing on my bed, pulling my dressing gown tighter around me as though it can shield me from whatever's outside my front door. I don't know how long it takes for me to calm myself down, but as I head over and look out of the window sometime later, I practically collapse onto the chair at the dining room table at the mere thought of venturing outside. My attacker is still out there, and every loud noise makes me think back to his attack, and I find myself too terrified to move for a long, long time...

A/N: Sorry it's quite a short chapter, but there wasn't actually any Chryed on the 1st August 2009 episode, I just thought that I should show what some of Christian's thoughts may have been once Syed's been back in his bed once again :

Reviews make me happy (and update, sometimes :D)

xoxoxo